I don't know if you've heard.. but the holidays are here. I know, right? The first diamond commercial I witnessed was actually before Thanksgiving. Nooo! The shock! The awe! All kinds of party fouls here. Who do I call? Who do I need to write in order to tell them they broke the non-spoken holiday rule of waiting for the appropriate amount of days before Christmas to kick out the overindulgent materialistic messages? Someone should know. Tho 'someone' would probably to tell me to mind my own Grinchy business.
Seattle is dark and grey once winter officially kicks in. Not that rain is new.. I continually (mis)quote David Hyde Pierce from Sleepless in Seattle when he says it rains nine (ten) months out of the year in here. It's depressing even if you've lived here for 15+ years like I have. We're a depressed area, which is why, when the sun does make an appearance, there's much rejoicing. You really notice the difference.
But until spring, we're now settled in with the gloomy feeling and if you live in a sweet and cozy mother-in-law that can feel rather cave-like at times, it's sometimes so dark on rainy mornings, you don't naturally wake up from the growing light of day. Because hellloo.. there's NO light. Good thing there are such things as alarms.
I'm a fare-weather fan when it comes to holidays. I love this time of year when I'm comfortable spending what I want for friends and family and ache for time to find the right little things for them. I go out and celebrate with drinks on girl dates and burner events. Splurge on funky gifts for the many white elephant holiday parties. But when money is as tight as it is now, and I wish I was exaggerating, but it's pretty tight, the weight of the pressure to reciprocate feels heavier every day. My friends and family are beyond the obligation of it. We just like to spoil each other. Finding the right gift for Mom is never easy because she buys everything she wants for herself the whole year round, but I'm still grateful for everything she's ever done for me and I'd like to try to show her that. Doesn't matter she's hated pretty much every gift I've ever wrapped for her except her Mother's Day ring.. scored big on that one. If I had enough money to wrap a bundle of it up for her don't think I wouldn't. It's the only thing I know she'd appreciate for certain.
I take each day as it comes, hope for the best, something more full-time in the nannying to come, interviewing, trialing with families.. and keep my head up. I went thru my bills and looked at what I could reasonably live without and cable and my sponsored child were the losers (Netflix and the gym weren't even considered. You can't be serious about cutting the things that keep you sane, you know..).
The cable wasn't anything to be upset about, but I was unexpectedly emotional when I reached the Children International rep on the phone. They're so personal and kind - not at all call center-ish, and it's something I've avoided all year because it isn't that much - but there's a point where even $25 makes the difference in borrowing money from your brother or not in order to make rent.
I was grateful the rep told me the child would be sponsored by CI til they found another, but it still broke my heart. I cried when I hung up, got in the shower to get ready for rehearsal and cried some more, and cried til the mascara went on. At some point you have to pull yourself together and focus on what's positive. And besides, it's a waste of good mascara to cry once it's on.
I'm seeing someone very casually - a cute 29-year-old commitment-phobe wine distributor and the no-expectation part of it is fine right now. It sometimes comes with a bottle of wine so I can't sneeze at that.
I was a bit crushed not to get cast in our spring show, Rocky Horror, but I'm learning a lot by assistant directing the next one opening in January, The Cut. The cast is phenomenal and so committed. They're inspiring.
And in case you didn't hear about Snowpocalypse in Seattle, which virtually shut down the city the Monday before Thanksgiving at rush hour, here's a couple of examples for you (that shiny stuff in the picture is ICE - helloo crazy people in shopping carts INSANELY sledding down it!).
It changed to SnOMG in many of the hash tags on Twitter and became endlessly entertaining for anyone with a little time to shoot some video, take pictures or go sledding in garbage cans/lids and um.. yeah, shopping carts. The video happened a few blocks from my house. Clearly, we're a city that doesn't believe in chains.. until it's too late. Whoops!
I know I haven't been writing a lot in the last few months and finding humor in the disappointments has been hard. Sometimes I feel like I've lost any amount of funny I ever had and then I hang out with the two little boys I nanny and giggle all day or I read something hopeful like this or watch something like this and think, hey, at least I don't scream like a girl every time I get attacked by an otter. I'm just saying.
This holiday, however you celebrate, think of your neighbors, the homeless, the lonely, the elderly and others less fortunate. Donate a blanket to a shelter, give an extra dollar to your waiter even if it's crappy service, bake some cookies for your office or just close your eyes and think good thoughts for those you know and love. I think any positive energy sent out into the universe is a good thing.
** On that note, a special virtual hug to Shine and her roommate Kim who's side she's been at while in the hospital struggling with stage 4 cancer and its complications including a very scary surgery today. Thinking of you both and so glad she has you, Shine. Your nickname has never been more appropriate.
Happy holidays everyone! Let's kick this difficult year to the curb shall we?
