Hi 2009! I know, I know.. you've been here a while. Geez.. sorry.. Been a teensy bit busy here. And I'm guessing you expect me to write something and honestly I WANT to.. I DO! Yes! But things are going in a million different directions and I'm finding it just a wee bit hard to focus - unless that focus means being horizontal and shutting my eyes, which is better known as sleep - and get time for penning The Wildly Uninteresting Life & Times of Dear Old Me.. know what I'm saying?
I mean, the holidays are over. Talking about them seems uh.. a little late tho yes, they were lovely, Christmas was essentially cancelled, as I thought it might be, because of the annoying snow that wouldn't stop or melt or stop making it difficult to get around for those of us who have lives and whose lives don't consist of getting around in the midst of said snow. Ugh. It was cold, I'll give you that.
Hanukkah was also nice with Boyfriend's family. There were presents, lots of wine and Scrabble on the new fancy Onyx version Boyfriend gave his parents, and plenty of latkes to go around - tho there was one single attempt to put ketchup on them, by yours truly, which I do not recommend because it takes the whole holiday feeling out of everything in a millisecond and suddenly you're just eating breakfast. Not the same. No. No it is not. The toppings should only be applesauce and sour cream. You may have a taste test of up to three types of applesauce as we had going at our table - this was ever so exciting, I must say - but again, leave the ketchup in the fridge. You have been warned.
The turn of the year brought a lovely evening of debauchery Boyfriend and I hadn't had in some time. It was the last party he'd have in his rented condo with the stunning 180 degree view of downtown Seattle complete with the Space Needle right in the middle and perfect for New Year's Eve fireworks watching without having to go outside. There was champagne, chocolate fondue, dancing, yelling out the window to anyone and everyone as New Year's Eve celebrations are wont to do and some drinking of abscinthe we could've done without.. because.. ew.. but that was the only downside. And, in my heart, I also quietly celebrated six months of being with this fantastic man who still leaves me speechless (unless he's making me giggle) when he looks at me and tells me very matter-of-factly that he loves me. Mmm.. it was a good night.
Once the new year began, we were all back to reality, back into rehearsals and prepping for the opening of Marat/Sade. We had some long hours, Jake certainly more than anyone else as per his usual sense of dedication, and after an exhausting week of tech, dress rehearsals, and plenty of notes, we had a successful opening weekend with two nights sold out, one of which had standing room only. My whole family even ventured out! Tho that part of the evening wasn't as successful. Note to self: Don't take parents out to hip, upscale new faux Mexican tapas joint on a Saturday Night in Capitol Hill. Uh yeah.. they were sooo not into it. Live and learn.
And speaking of living/learning, Boyfriend and I came to a big realization recently. With the stress of the most recent show, there was a hard, but necessary decision to be made. My involvement in his theatre leaves him no escape when he's actually away from it and where some couples might be able to find a balance because of their common ground, we can't seem to. We can't separate our titles from our relationship and it's taken its toll by maintaining some distance that's hard to span when there are the normal every day problems that arise in getting a show up and even a few people who just aren't very kind and can't manage, even in the smallest way, to be genuine to me. Without Boyfriend, I feel lonely there and as if the work I do and the rapport I've tried to cultivate is ignored or dismissed. When you put in that much time somewhere and you are denied but a few friendly faces, it takes a lot out of you to continue to dig in your heels and keep smiling. I would've kept at it had that been the only issue. I'm stubborn, if nothing else, but once it filtered inbetween Boyfriend and I, there was really nothing else to be done, so I announced to the company I'd be leaving at the end of this show.
The few responses I received were expected, but I was grateful for their sincerity. And it's not the saddest thing because I've already been welcomed onto another project starting in March by a neighboring theatre company and will sit in on their next company meeting this weekend to see if they have a place for me in their ranks. I've been advised not to jump into any one company just yet and to take my time, find more work - maybe some that pays - get my resume out there - now that I've really started to build one for production and stage management and the doors will start falling open and I will apparently have to try hard to keep my door from being knocked down. I don't know if that's exactly true.. but I think I might be on a roll.
I'm hoping that with this bright and sparkly new year comes the same kind of potential - some that's shiny and full of brilliance. I need to figure out where I want to go with this theatre world I've created as well as find the balance between being so busy, making time for my relationship as well as all my non-theatre friends who've been patient and waiting for time to catch up. I'm also in better communication with my family, which is good and also sad sometimes. My stepfather just started chemo and radiation this week and tho Mom is in good spirits, I'm dreading the possible changes in her and my stepdad when those treatments start taking their toll on his body. I'm hoping though.. just hoping.
Not to mention - someone is going to be inaugurated in like five days. How frickin awesome is that?!
Ok sparkle and brilliance.. come get me. I'm waiting.
