Tripping The Life Fandango

Don't you wish some weekends could go on forever? That you could find that elusive Independent Wealth and spend your time traveling with your fantastic boyfriend to exotic lands and lazing on beautiful beaches or hiking thru foreign countries with only what to have for dinner as the biggest problem you might encounter because there are just too many choices and too many wonderful people you've met who want to bring you back to their home in that quaint Tuscan or French village where you dine at a long table filled with breads, wines, cheeses and more food than you could imagine.. "Ah.. yes," you say.. "I do wish this," or maybe that's just me and my extended day-dreaming. So there was no French/Tuscan-type village, but there was a mountainy sort of western town. I mean.. it'll do.

There was hiking, there was family met, sooo much wine and many a scrabble game won and lost as well over the Meet-The-Family Weekend. The verdict? Um.. I fit right in, surprisingly to me! I'm good with parents usually, but there can be some sense of formality that might relax over time. Jake's family was comfortable to be around almost immediately tho. It was easy. Well.. the hike wasn't easy for me.. I did it, I'm just not used to oh.. eight miles in the mountains. Whereas Jake ran the last mile..... Ran. Hi. Overachieve much? God.

The drive up and back gave us lots of time to talk and joke around and just be together. With both of our crazy schedules, having a 3 1/2 hour drive each way to be in each other's company seemed like a luxury. And what I really like about us is that same comfort and ease I just mentioned is our biggest asset. We don't work at this relationship - at least not yet.. and maybe that point will come, but right now it just feels good all the time to be apart of something that at its core and foundation is a strong feeling of stability. No matter what happens around it, it still remains intact. It's so satisfying.. that feeling. It's so nice not to have to guess with him. He isn't thrown by anything and he rarely, if ever, gets upset and never at me.. It still feels too good to be true, but I've stopped pinching myself because I know how real it is now and I just smile. A lot..

The only time that weekend we weren't smiling was when we were both green from the windy drive. It had both of us craving ibuprofen and gingerale no matter who drove or who was the more unlucky passenger. He was a little crushed when I mentioned I get that way on boats too.. not to mention I don't have to even be on a boat to get that way. At a restaurant once whose bar is downstairs at water level, I got extremely ill because the water rippling right by the window made it look like we were moving.. and swaying.. and oh God.. I'm green just thinking about it. Yeah.. he looked at me that same way you're looking at me now. I know.. it's weird. Shut up.

The only hiccup of the whole trip is that because I had no cell service, I'd missed a call from Mom the night we arrived telling me they'd taken my step-dad to the hospital because he'd basically turned yellow. I got the message that Sunday, two days later, while we were in 'town', which means 'has cell coverage', with Jake's family and getting ready to sit down to a lovely dinner.

I felt a rush of guilt and worry for missing the call, but Mom said there wasn't much to tell me because the doctors didn't seem to know anything. More tests would happen during the week on Monday. This would also delay any prostate operation that was to happen that week til this issue cleared up. But since then, the issue hasn't really cleared up and instead, upon further not-so-fun investigative tests with a fancy somethingorother that was inserted down my step-dad's throat to check out and biopsy his liver, they found a small tumor.

He's apparently looking less yellow, which you know.. yay.. but we won't know the results of the biopsy til this week.. and depending on what's found out there, then consulations and other meetings between the smartypants doctors and my family will be scheduled and discussed and I'm not even going to be here because I'll be on my way or at Burning Man and also, completely out of range for more updates. And y'all know I'm worried because.. well.. I'm me. And it would be nice not to have to watch my mom go thru this again because she's been happier than I've ever known her to be and you know what else? Ick.

When I sat back down for dinner with Jake's family and didn't have much news, his mom looked at me and very sweetly said, "It'll be ok," which was just nice to hear outloud and made me feel better. It reminded me of Jake because he says that all the time to me, but he locks eyes with me when he does it. It just feels good, that focus, and it settles my nerves. The man has some amazing mojo.

So let me just tell you my schedule this week to see if you get a teensy idea of the crazy my life will be in the next six days:

Monday (today)
8:30am to 5:30pm: Work.. yawwn..
5:31 t0 6:15pm: Run home and feed Ms. Emma and Shine's dog, Moo, while she's out of town til Wednesday.
6:30pm to 10pm: Tech rehearsal (cue to cue and run thru today) and hope all sound issues with cd player can be fixed.
Sometime non-specified: Call Mom, mail band studio rent check, get cat litter (seriously).
After 10pm at minimum: See boyfriend sometime for maybe an hour before I pass out.

Tuesday
8:30am to 5:30pm: Work - same shit, different day.
5:31 t0 6:15pm: Run home to feed dog/cat. Convince dog her three min walk is much longer than it actually is.
6:30pm to 10pm: Tech rehearsal (dress and run thru).
Between all those times: Try not to worry about Mom and Step-Dad, see if I can bag out of dress rehearsal due to MASSIVE amounts of errands for Burning Man I have to run, wish that Target could stay open til 11pm for special people like me if not able to bag said rehearsal.
After tech: Begin to stress out a little and vent to calm boyfriend who is probably only pretending to listen while half asleep.

Wednesday
8:30am to 5:30pm: Worky worky work.
5:31 t0 6:15pm: Run home to feed cat/dog (man they're demandy).
6:30 to 10pm: Final dress rehearsal with audience (ACK!) and attempt run thru at 7pm.
At some point between when not stressed (right): Check in with Mom.
After 10pm or later: See boyfriend after rehearsal and try to have real conversation, but fall asleep mid-sentence.

Thursday
8:30am to 5:30pm: Blahblahworkblah.
After work: Roommate back and feeding dog/cat because I'm house managing opening night!
6-ish to 10pm: Hope show goes well and cross fingers I don't mess up cash box or something else kind of important, let the fact that I leave for Burning Man in three days start to sink in.
After show/1opm: Try not to cry on boyfriend's shoulder because really.. that's just silly.

Friday
7:30am to 5pm: Work til 5 due to God-forsaken early 7:30am mandatory meeting.
5:01pm: Thank God it's Friday.
5:30pm: Run to Trader Joe's to pick up snacks for gala at end of show.
6:30pm: Set up said snacks, house manage again, run thru all the things in my head I still need and haven't yet taken care of that I have only tomorrow to do because hi - LAST DAY TIL I LEAVE (and last day with boyfriend for eight stupid non-communicative days - no crying! I am a rock!), show show show.
After show/10pm: See boyfriend, tears not shed (if I can help it).

Saturday:
7:50am: Sleepily kiss boyfriend goodbye as he has class (on Saturdays??) at 8am and wish we could sleep in together.
7:51am: Pout.
7:53am: Maybe go back to sleep but then freak out because I still have so much to do.
8:30am til um.. done: Do all those errands I was freaking out about, pack, take as much of said packing to friend's place wayyy across town to get things in order in the RV before we leave at Crack Of Ass Dawn tomorrow, figure out what else I have yet to do - do it.
6pm til none of your business: Meet up with exhausted boyfriend after he's napped and had shower after class and figure out plans for our last evening together before trip, probably cry.. definitely have sex.

Sunday:
7:30am: Delay leaving house til last possible minute so I can have as much time with boyfriend as I can and say goodbye like in those Big Red commercials.
7:44am: Wimper.
7:45am: Head to Paul's house & chin up thru wimpering.
8:10am: Finish last minute details of packing, verify everyone has tickets, and finally - Leave for Burning Man!

Is it just me or doesn't that seem like a lot to pack in? And I still don't know if I'm going to make it to every store I need to get to, not to mention that I must think money is just coming out my ass because wow I'm spending it uber fast and in large quantities and still have so many things left to to get. I know it'll all work out, I know Jake and I will not die being apart (I know, you're shocked), the show will go swimmingly and I will think positively for my step-dad because I just have to.

Planning and taking this crazy, bohemian trip, allowing myself to feel loved in a very happy and growing relationship with this incredible guy, rocking out occasionally with the band and challenging myself with my new position in the theatre are all signs I'm living as much as possible.. Even if I had laurels, I wouldn't have time to sit on them! I'm kind of proud of myself.

I'll post if I can just prior to leaving. I know last year I had Treena and Indy sub in for me and they were completely amazing and way awesomer than me. I didn't have time to secure anyone this year, so I hope you can wait eight days plus some recovery and boyfriend isolation time and that it's not too terribly long for you. Do read up on Miss Doxie since she's back and cuter than ever and there's also Mimi Smartypants who makes me laugh long time. She's right up there as funniest blogger ever. My own close and personal friends I highly recommend in addition to Indy and Treena: Shine, Eight, Kari, and my favorite little brit, Léonie. I think you have plenty of reading to do now so no excuses on being bored.. you hear me? I'll miss you all madly!! Mwah!

Cross Your Fingers They Like Me..

Ok you guys.. it's time for a list instead of a real post.. even if this list isn't going to be so bullet pointy, but more paragraphs following bullets.. or.. something to that effect.. I'm sleepy, it's late, I haven't packed, and I'm trying not to be nervous, so this is what you get.

* I'm meeting Jake's parents. Tomorrow night. Hi. I haven't met 'parents' of a boyfriend in oh.. years. I haven't had a boyfriend who had parents in at least that long.. Wtf.. ? No, I'm not nervous at all. Not in the slightest. Even tho I will totally trip walking over to shake their hands or something. You wait. I'll bet you a dollar. They'll think I've been drinking. On the road no less! Awesome. Let's hope there's wine there. Then I can really embarrass myself. Wait.. we're bringing three bottles.. right. Drunken shiksa impression already insured!

* Oh.. did I mention they're Jewish? No? Yeah.. they are. I'm.. not. Apparently, they don't care and I'm currently without a religion at this time. I told him to tell them I always wanted to be Jewish.. Seriously, I have. I don't know why.. Eight presents for Hanukkah maybe? No. Bad answer.. bad (I had to spellcheck Hannukkah.. see? I've already disqualified myself. I'd make a horrible Jew. Crap.).

* I did say I haven't packed. I'm sitting here at my kitchen table, typing this post for you, my FIVE lovely readers, no packing has been done - minus a point - two loads of laundry have tho - extra points - the bed hasn't been made - minus one point - So You Think You Can Dance is on pause because I can't concentrate on packing or blogging if it's playing - moot point for that - Damn. How many points is that? -54? See.. I'm going to overpack and look like one of 'those' girls when I arrive at their cabin away from the city and amidst trees and rocks and woodland creatures and with only one pair of shorts (Dude.. Seattle's expensive ok? And summer is practically over..) and who knows what else.. my bra straps hanging out probably. But maybe as long as I bring my hiking boots and a bottle of ibuprofen (I hear the 6-7 mile trail is all uphill... oh.. yay.. *wimper*), I'll be ok.. and if I say that enough, maybe I'll start to believe it..

* He met my parents last weekend, which I know I forgot to tell you. Met them at the casino. Let me just explain: My mom and my step-dad met at a casino. Six weeks later, they were engaged. I guess it seemed fitting... I walked in and was STRUCK DOWN I tell you with the sheer power of second-hand smoke. Holy mother of all that is good and holy.. HOW do you people BREATHE in a place like that?! You'd think it would be filtered out. You'd think your NON-SMOKING ROOM would NOT smell of it.. but funny thing about cigarette smoke - yeah, it doesn't read those signs. It goes wherever it wants to. So while the parents were gambling (til 4am, thank you!), I got ready for bed and was overcome with that smell while brushing my teeth. It was like someone was sitting on the counter with a lit cigarette and blowing the smoke IN my face. Nasty.

* Jake was a peach tho and drove all the way down to Tacoma to meet us there, gawked at the people who frequented this casino (as we were leaving later that night, we saw two girls out in the parking lot getting ready to go in - and by 'getting ready' I mean one literally had curlers in her hair that the other was hairspraying and taking out. Um.. in the parking lot. Ew.) and he had the same look I did when he first walked in after the Smell Of Cancer engulfed him. But we took my parents far, far away from there and out to dinner on the water in Point Defiance and they loved it. They loved him.. The night was beautiful. They called me the next day just to tell me how great they thought he was. He even said how 'laid-back' and 'easy-going' my family is. Hm.. I guess they are. I never thought of that. Makes me wonder where I get this control-freak, slightly OCD personality.. No one would call me laid back.. ever. I think I was jipped.

* In the meantime, I've been busy trying to coordinate the next show of Balagan's season, Arabian Nights, because getting a jump on arranging my crew would be ideal. Jake is directing and I wanted to be a little more organized and ahead of schedule since Burning Man will eat up a good week of plan time. Eight's agreed to be our stage manager, our friend Elvis, who also worked the Erotic Art Festival gala with Eight and I, is going to be our sound designer and I roped in another friend of mine, James, to do original music and help design since he plays fancy and funky Indian and Persian-y type instruments, which will set the mood perfectly. I secured a costume designer and someone to coordinate audition nights too! I'm seriously getting a handle on this production manager business, I tell you.. I kind of rocked today.

* And while I'm giving out some acknowledgment for rocking right now.. I want to mention how my very sweet boyfriend casually mentioned yesterday after rolling in from his scheduled massage that he'd bought me one too. Like.. for no reason - or just because I said I was jealous when he said he was off to his appointment, which he really needed. But my POINT is that hi. It's a massage.. as in mmmmm.. and it feels SO nice.. and the place was amazing and there was soft lighting and comfy rooms and a great practitioner and I was high for like half an hour afterwards because it was AN HOUR.. I mean, the man even TIPPED her ahead of time. It was fantastic, this gift he gave me. Just because. How much does that NOT suck? Ahh.. the man Rocks. My. World.

* Ok.. he's going to kill me when he gets here, ruining all the benefits of said gifted massage, because I haven't packed a thing so I best be getting to it yo.

Hope you all have a fabulous weekend! Wish me luck!! Mwah!

Mixed Tape

Ok.. I'll admit that I think I've turned into one of those girls that somewhat just about completely disappears when she has a boyfriend. In my defense, I'm trying to keep up with my friends via some form of communication like text or email and thank God Mom calls me or I might forget that too because Jake and I clearly only have eyes for each other right now. I'm still making band practice and all the theatre meetings that he's not even in so responsibilities aren't being shirked in any way.. but we both count the hours, minutes.. whatever is left, which sometimes seems like an unbelievable amount of time before we can be together again.

I told you we were gross.. ok? You were warned.. Oh, don't give me that look..

The other thing I've turned into? One of those girls who celebrates 1st month anniversaries.. which, yes.. I'm aware one month does not an anniversary make.. but I don't care. Have we not discussed how long it's been since I've had a boyfriend? You're not new, right? We haven't just met? Because I should be allowed to revel in something that feels this special, that I know already is going to last longer than this first, second and - tho I can barely believe it - even third month. We both know. Time isn't something I'm worried about, however, I still want to be able to acknowledge its passing because.. you know.. it just makes me feel good. I'm frickin ecstatic..

I think I've also had a difficult time talking about anything that's happened outside of Jake and me, which is ridiculous that my world is skewed so much. In our second week together, I welcomed my friend, Jedi, into town as my Foo Fighters concert date. I'd had tickets for months and we were not in the least bit disappointed. He took me to dinner and we caught up about our lives and our significant others (now that it seemed I might actually have one) and then we enjoyed one of the best concerts EVER. Yeah.. Dave Grohl is on my list - my Awesome Rockstars/Celebrities I Wouldn't Kick Out Of Bed For Eating Crackers list.. but not really because I think he's all that hot.. more because he's as cool as all get out.. I don't have a Cool As All Get Out list tho.. but if I did, Dave couldn't be at the top of that because there are just too many people in Real Life I know who would be ahead of him - like Jake would probably take the first five spots because I'm gross like I've previsiously mentioned.. and Shine and Eight and some other people.. but besides, Dave has his own list he's at the top of. He should be happy enough with that. But thanks to Jedi for hanging out with me!

So what's the next step you ask? Tho possibly meeting the folks is right around the corner.. and actually, it is.. that isn't next. No no no.. let's not get out of order here even tho yes, 'madly in love' barely cuts it and all the falling to get there happened rather quickly - but you just know sometimes.. 'you know like you know a good melon'.. (extra points if you know what movie that's from) - but no.. that isn't the next step. It's that very sweet gesture of pure twitterpation.. that simple need bursting from your heart to make your new love a mixed tape - or the cd equivelant thereof..

I hear you saying, 'Yes! I know that feeling exactly!' Or maybe that's just the sound of many of you gagging.... whatever, close enough. The maple-syrupy cute is running over us pretty constantly so that's where we are. Not going to apologize for it.. no way.

He was done first.. and being a fancy marketing type of guy, it's gorgeous. The cd itself has a label on it, something I can't make like.. ever.. because I can type, ok? I own a Mac, yes.. but that's the extent of my technical knowledge right there.. those TWO things. Beyond that, my eyes glaze over and all I hear is 'blahblahblah' when you try to explain it.

Anyway, back to my mixed tape. So he gave it to me the other night and I was ever so swoony because he couldn't have been sweeter.. but I was a little shocked because he put a picture of me from last year's birthday on the front cover. It's an incredibly cheesy ass smile.. and ew, I don't want to look at myself all day and he looked at me like I was crazy and he didn't get that at all, which you know.. cute.. And the cd has this pretty label with a red artsy design for the background.. and all the song titles and artists are listed in a perfect circular fashion in white, but are prefaced by: 'For Angel (cuz she's awesome!)' and at the top center, above the titles, 'With Love.' And all the songs are supercute and I've been listening to it non-stop.

I'll be honest.. he'll be lucky if he gets one with a label at all and it doesn't have stick people on it drawn in smudged sharpie.. or it'll probably look more like a ransom note from a serial killer.. awesome. Either way, let's hope he thinks it's cute. I'm almost done with it, but paring down my choices right now. Does it count if you find the perfect song he should've given you but you give him instead? Are there rules for these sorts of things?! I've been out of it so long, I don't know! Crap.. I might have to save myself by wrapping it. If you don't know this, I'm one of the awesomest gift wrappers around.. I swear to God.. the things you don't know about me, people.. you have no idea. Cd crafting? Yeah.. not my forte.. but distraction with wrapping? Oh I'm ALL over it!

Part of the reason Jake and I feel so clingy right now besides being fairly new and in our cheese course/salad days, is that I leave for Burning Man at the end of the month. I know it's silly.. but when you spend every night together and a good portion of the weekends and still aren't getting tired of each other or even on each other's nerves a teensy bit, spending eight days and nights apart with no way to communicate once past Gerlach, NV is looking like we might both go a little insane with missing each other.

My perspective has changed regarding this event that I've looked forward to for most of the year I've been away from it. Where before I was really excited to get away and be welcomed 'home' as everyone does when you're in the entry line to Black Rock City, I'm more torn than I thought to leave because Jake doesn't get to experience it with me. The friends going with me who make up the four newbies are looking to me in my second year for guidance and together we've already decided who will cook most often, what we'll need to bring, etc. We're gearing up to teach Boz and Paul how to ride bikes prior to arrival (seriously, of all the people in the world who don't know how to ride a bicycle, how did we end up with two of them in our troupe?) and getting costumes and other fun things acquired. We're going to have a fantastic time together - that's certain - and I'm thrilled to be going with this particular group of friends. We know so many other burners now and have other friends in theme camps doing awesome things while there who've invited us over whenever we want. We've got our placement on the big clock and we'll be just below the Esplanade in the midst of all the action and thumping techno. I've no doubt this group will have an easier time acclamating themselves than Kat and I did last year.. but I have to admit that I'm also already thinking of how much I can't wait to be back home and in the arms of this beyond-amazing guy who I'm crazy about..

I'm really in love with all my latest adventures. I haven't been this happy in a really long time.. and it's not only a really nice change - it's calming. The band is coming together, the theatre is evolving, I'm looking for a new direction as far as the day to day employment, I'm off to the desert with really good people around me, and I've met someone who may very well qualify as being the love of my life. My heart is full and I'm content. For now, yeah.. I think that'll do.