Part 4: The Weather's Beautiful! Wish You Were Here!

Here's where things start to get confusing. My intention in telling my little Burning Man story wasn't to go day by day. I thought two posts.. maybe three at most.. but I've found that, to no surprise to all of my five readers, I'm just too damn detailed and want to remember every bit that I can myself. I enjoy reliving it as well as trying to share this experience that truly is something that can hardly be described and really needs to be witnessed for yourself. That being said, I don't think I'm doing half bad - tho like I said - this is where I may have lost myself in the storytelling.

I left off on Wednesday night and I just realized that maybe most of that happened on Thursday. Also I just remembered I completely forgot the bit about the crazy guy who lit The Man on fire early and was arrested! And this is where you say, oh well, like it matters.. but see, it does to me! Also because I'm also realizing that honestly, I think I'm a bit OCD. No, really. Not to the point I need to rewrite the last few posts.. or shut doors six times or anything.. but it does point to the fact that all the days sort of ran together, tho the storms and my camera-losing were fairly specific time markers. Still the wandering on Wednesday night with Kat and her friends happened and the meeting of Random Guy and wandering on my own. The tiff with Pixie, losing the camera, and the first big storm were definitely Thursday. Again, you're saying.. uh.. doesn't matter.. move along.. which.. yes! Getting to now! Ok!

Finishing Thursday - for realz.

One of my favorite things that happened at Burning Man was something I never even witnessed, but I discovered after I returned home. It's called The White Procession and is just a silent walk out to the Temple Of Forgiveness on Thursday morning at dawn. The video intro is a bit lengthy, but stick with it, because the whole thing is beautiful. I really can't describe it more than that. You have to see it for yourself.

Thursday was the only day I made actual plans. And, fyi, no one makes plans for the most part at Burning Man. You just can't. You are like a child newly diagnosed with ADD and you're pulled in so many directions that even the most planny-type person would be late and distracted and would forget where they were originally headed. Not that I'm one of those people. Planny yes. On time.. um.. no.. but yay that I was so accepted!

I'd met this very nice person at the little coffee camp I was frequenting most mornings who happened to be a part of the Cirque Bezerk camp, which was just a small little camp of oh, about 250 people. Now THEY were planny type people. They had a real circus top tent that came with clowns and acrobats and fire dancery people and everything. And they were putting on a show on Thursday for sure around 8pm. That was the only thing I was set on seeing because of all things that Burning Man embodied, the circus always seemed to be the first thing that came to mind so I was thrilled there was actually a real live circus on site with all its circusy folk there. Who knew?!

I stopped by my shiny friend Sparkle/Mark's camp on the way, but he was sleeping, so I rode over to the big top on my own. Like every event there 'planned' for a certain time, it wasn't even close to hitting 8pm sharp. More like 9:30.. and then it wasn't Cirque Bezerk performing that night, but one of the other circus camps they were hosting so tho the performances were random and kind of funny and included a very cute clown who stripped down to nothing just because.. eventually there were just one too many fire jugglers/dancers/twirly type things going on. I sort of felt like there were three hours I saw a lot of the same thing I'd already seen. Fire dancing and juggling are great, but after so much of it, I would like someone to come up with something new. Maybe some spontaneous combustion? I don't know.. it's a thought.

Before the show started, an older guy called Flowers struck up a conversation with me about the circus camp and while we were sitting together kept saying who he'd introduce me to and where we would go next and I was ok with it at first. Then his 'friends' arrived. One was a blonde woman with fake boobs named Bubbles. It was appropriate. Later, we'd run into her again before Flowers and I parted ways, and ironically, she'd be the only one in the group who'd remember my name.

Unfortunately for Flowers, he did what Random Guy did the night before and I found myself inexplicably stuck with someone who probably thought there was more connection established than there really was. When he started talking about his former relationships and how hooking up at Burning Man wasn't actually as easy as some people thought, I knew I needed to be moving on and found a delicate way out.

Lucky for all of you I think that was the rest of the night.. Yay for you.

So FRIDAY.

Friday was The Best Day. Definitely my favorite. First and foremost because I was up relatively early, was bathed and ready for the day - which you seriously don't think is a huge deal til you're there, but if you can beat the sun and aren't boiling in your tent while you're baby wiping all your 1000 parts, then it makes ALL the difference, I promise you - and off I went to my favoritest little coffee camp for some caffeine and some friendly chat to start my day.

After that, I went for breakfast at 9:00 where the Pancake Playhouse camp was set up and got myself in line. Talking with the other anxious Pancake Waiters, I realized I was supposed to bring my own plate, but if not, someone would give me theirs since everyone was encouraged to reuse things like that. And I'm not one to be grossed out by someone's syrupy plate - well, not until Real Life Homeless Guy approached me - and as I was trying to figure out why this guy really and truly looked actually homeless - at an event where tickets cost actual money - and asked me if I wanted his plate - a plate that was sort of pathetic looking with half-eaten pancakes.. but I didn't really know the rules and felt obligated so I said, "Sure," rather unconvincingly. When I took a good look at the gift that I'd been offered, I noticed that in addition to leftover pancakes, there were a couple of yummy strings of hair. HAIR! ON THE PLATE! ALL SYRUPY! EW EW EW!

I was actually speechless for a moment and sort of looked at the other people around me like.. 'Help.. please?' Then a very lovely older woman holding an entire package of new paper plates sweetly asked, "Honey, would you like a clean plate?" and I thought I was going to kiss her. Not that anyone would've thought that was weird there.. but my point is, I was oh-so grateful.

Fully caffeinated and fed, off I went towards the main goal of the morning: to retrieve my lost camera.

I stood in line at the Lost & Found trailer with a few other people until each of them had taken their turn for their question - one for his misplaced backpack, one for her stolen bike, another for her cousin's boots she wore to Center Camp and accidentally left there (??) - and each were denied. So when it was finally my turn, I looked at my gifter earnestly, described the specifics of my little Sony camera and watched him shut his door secretly to go in search of my request. He opened the door, like the keeper of the Emerald City from The Wizard Of Oz, but nicer, and asked me what I last took pictures of. Trying not to hope too much, I told him they were of the statues at the oil derrick and he shut the door again, opened it up just a few seconds later, and there was my hot little camera staring me in the face. He barely got out, "Is this it?" before I was jumping up and down, hands in the air, and hugging him a big thank you. One of the other guys in line gave me a full double high five on my way out. Yes, it was going to be a good day!

You'd think the day couldn't get any better, but you'd think wrong. Oh it got better. Exponentially. There was an awesome tarot reading right after that by an even awesomer chain-smoking tarot reader guy who told me I was going to 'live to be an old broad' because who doesn't like to hear that? His tent was also connected to the Secret Exchange where there was a secret board. Read a secret, tell a secret and I didn't leave any, but I did take pictures of everyone else's. And.. AND you know what else? BACON. Yes! A girl, part of the crazy chain-smoking tarot reader's camp, was grilling mapley-smelling bacon right outside and offering it to passers-by who could barely believe it themselves! Oh you have no idea my absolute joy! It was really really good bacon.

Back at camp, Kat and I decided we'd get ice for the neighbors and ourselves, but when we got there, they'd actually run out completely. They expected it anytime between then and a couple of hours later so Kat said she was going to go off on her own and if she found ice from one of the other spots she'd get some and I agreed to do the same wanting to get some dancing in around the corner at the most popular day club called The Deep End.

I shook my booty for a little while when I felt a little call for ice and I was right, it had just arrived. While standing in line, I overheard a couple talking about the weather and saying things like, "Oh man, that looks really bad," while scanning what was beginning to be less blue sky. When I asked them what they were talking about, they informed me that this storm that was coming was Officially Bad and would have 60 mile an hour winds. And also, rain. Rain = bad on the playa. Rain + playa dirt = instant mud = yuck. Some math, eh? Hey, it's a gift.

They were warning people to get off the playa, which would be why when I was headed towards the ice tent that 4,503 people had been riding the opposite way towards me. And why some guy was then standing on top of a large truck with a megaphone telling people that this was not a joke and to find somewhere to ride out the storm. At this point, I listened, broke out of the line, and started heading back to my camp. Now, keep in mind, I was at 9:00 and Arctic and I only had to get to 7:25 and Jungle (remembering that the cross streets were alphabetic) so it really wasn't that far.. but before I even got to Desert Street, visibility was almost gone. I got off my bike and started walking with it like everyone else was doing, but most of the street signs had been stolen - which is normal I guess for jackasses people who want to take every little bit of memorabilia with them - so we had little idea of where the fuck we were, which did nothing for stressing me out any less. Luckily, we all helped each other get to where we were going, I found Jungle and took a left.. into the direction of the wind, which dear God, was not at all pleasant. You couldn't see more than five feet in any direction and the 'air' around you turned to a dark orange color. The earlier mention of Wizard Of Oz was no accident. It really felt like I was going to be swooped up by the madness of it all after a house dropped on someone.

I made it back to camp FINALLY, despite the tornado-like winds, to see our shifty shade structure was breaking loose again, this time for real with the stakes already up on one corner and another threatening to go very soon if we didn't do something fast. Kat had come back shortly after my discovery and the neighbors were quick to assist and all we did for about an hour was hold down the tarps, hammer down the stakes, drink and take pictures.

When the fierce winds started to calm a bit, we felt a few sprinkles here and there. It'd pick up again and then die down for a little more rain, but nothing terrible. In fact, quite the opposite. What happened next was nothing short of unbelievable. A rainbow started to appear.. and not just one.. but two. The inner one getting more and more shockingly bright with every passing minute and the outer one becoming clearer and clearer until there they were, both of them, so completely perfect that I swear to God Judy Garland could practically be heard singing. People stood on their rigs and roofs of their camps and cheered in celebration. I mean, what do you say about something as incredible as that? It was simply one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen in my entire life.. and the day wasn't even over yet.