So in light of the combo of December and February holidays, I decided to make this post a little gift list for your (un)intendeds or simply things to get yourself just because.. well, because as Tom and Donna say on Parks and Recreaction, you should treat yo' self.
My mother's birthday is in early December. Yes, thank you very much you sarcastic gift gods because my mother is extremely difficult to shop for as she just buys whatever the hell she wants for herself All. The. Time. whenever she thinks she wants it. Not only do I have to be incredibly ingenious for her birthday, I have to double it for Christmas and honestly, you have no idea how challenging it is to get her a) something she doesn't already have and b) something she actually wants and will not then re-gift right back to you as she's done in the past to her own daughter.. which would be me. I give you Exhibit A:
FLASHBACK
‟You wear scarves right? You should take this," she said nonchalantly, handing me a silky beige and brown scarf that I instantly recognized.
‟Is this the scarf I gave you last year for Christmas," I asked shocked.
‟Oh. I guess it is. I don't wear them though," she answered as she turned and casually walked away leaving me dumbfounded.
‟Uh, next year you get cash, lady," I shouted loud enough so she could hear me in the other room. ‟Unwrap that!"
So I thought I'd hit the jackpot this year when I not only found what I thought was the perfect birthday item, but got it there a whole day early! Though Mom usually only reads the latest Danielle Steele novels, she loves Diane Keaton and she'd just come out with a memoir, Then Again, which sounded lovely and touching when I'd heard her talk about it on The Daily Show. I thought Mom would love it, but love might've been a strong word. Lukewarm would better describe her reaction since she was ‛already reading something' and it seemed to bother her that she had a whole other book waiting for her when she finished her current one. I don't know. Your mom is nice, right? Get it for your mom. Get it for yourself. It looks good. My mom is weird.
After my mild success (well, she hasn't re-gifted it yet..) with Mom's birthday, I moved onto holiday shopping. Continuing with books, my brother loves to read about history so I found this awesome book called A History of the World in 100 Objects, ‟..one hundred man-made artifacts, each of which gives us an intimate glimpse of an unexpected turning point in human civilization." Cool and interesting, right? I thought so. Then, accidentally, I found another book I knew his warped sense of humor would dig, Me Write Book: It Bigfoot Memoir, by Graham Roumieu, which is one of the funniest things I've ever picked up. With watercolor illustrations that only heighten how much you'll be laughing.. like that silent-can't-catch-your-breath laughter. AND there are TWO other books! Hilarious. Go get them!
‟Why you no belive me? Why Bigfoot lie about being abducted by alien? Even get it on video tape. ‛Expert' say it fake. Say I stage. ‛UFO pie plate' and ‛Bigfoot just person in gorilla suit.' Yeah, and this glow stick in rectum just get there all on it own."Now my sister-in-law is super easy to shop for because she usually likes the same things I do so when I found ModCloth, I knew I was in trouble because everything I got for her.. um.. I maybe wanted to keep. For example, this ring? Freakin awesome and looks like pretty mini fireworks on your hand. It only came in one size and don't think I didn't try it on because I did, but it just didn't fit right. It fit perfectly on my sister-in-law and she loved it. Yay! I also got her some pretty eyeshadow in Dragon Scales and maybe got myself that one and the one in Nymph. What?
To follow up Mom's birthday even though she told us not to get her anything for Christmas, I knew she'd been talking about the domino game we played this summer at the Oregon Coast. It's not a big ticket item, but you did read the part that Mom is hard to shop for right? Right. So. Mexican Train it was. And seriously? Play this game. SO fun! For realz. Also? Get the extra domino tray holders because it's just too many dominos to organize without them. Trust me and my OCD-ness on this, k?
To cover the maternal grandmother, my aunt and uncle and the family white elephant gift I actually bought multi-photo frames for pictures I personally took! Like who prints out pictures they took anymore?! Apparently I do! And they were good and looked all kickass framed and everyone loved them! And I can't show you all of them, but they may have been a few of the supercool pics from the post you see here.
You know what else I made for people? MADE! For OTHER PEOPLE! You could EAT them even! I was getting so crafty all up in Christmas' business this last year, I tell you. All freakin year I saved little jars from pesto and pickles and Greek olives and used them to package up homemade spiced pecans I gave to friends for gifts and they were quite the treat, if I do say so myself. I should know because I may have been the Quality Taste Tester for those babies. Try not to. It's not easy NOT to lick your fingers. But they're super quick and easy to make. You don't even have to bake them because you know you'll burn them if they actually go in the oven right? Ok, maybe that's just me. But this is by far my favorite recipe so try it. Emeril knows what he's talking about. And if you or someone you're making them for can't do spicy, you can eliminate the cayenne. They do have a little kick so you've been warned.
Last, but not least, the best gay wasn't spoiled last year because I just couldn't get it together and he always gets me a very thoughtful gift. For once, I told him not to bother because he spoiled me on my birthday and it was his turn to feel special. He loves to cook and he does complicated stuff like roasts and things I don't understand (I mean if it's not stir fry or a burrito.. (dude - you change up like two ingredients and you have one or the other.)). So my first idea was to create a Basket of Awesomeness with all kinds of specialty items I picked up at Pike Place Market, which is his favorite place for produce. There were two different kinds of cheeses and a fig spread from Beecher's Handmade Cheese, a small bouquet of tulips from one of the flower merchants, a bottle of my favorite Moscato from Pike & Western Wine Shop, and some crackers and chocolate from Pear Delicatessen. Then I wrapped up Anne Burrell's new book, Cook Like A Rock Star, which I'd seen her pimp on The Daily Show (Jon is my favorite Jew ever.. sue me.) and it sounded fantastic and right up Loren's alley. I took a peek when it arrived and I LOVE the easy way she writes, which is like she talks, which is like someone you could totally relate to and be friends with (though let's be honest.. her hair looks a teeny bit crazy). And she explains things so nicely and with lots of humor. But after the ‛little bites' chapter, it gets a little harder and was certainly beyond my limited expertise. And that's why I got it for someone else! Yay! I scored again! Give it to someone you know who likes to cook and wants to make the best homemade gnocchi for you and then tell me how that turns out because it looks fantastic!
Not to be forgotten, there were a couple other people on my list I had to cover. Shine had been thru hell and back last year after losing a close friend and roommate to cancer and Kristen who helped me throw my 40th birthday deserved something special to thank her for all she'd done too. I figured a 1-hour massage from a fellow Hippo, Nityia, at Thai Massage Seattle would do the trick for each of them and boy howdy did it ever. I haven't received any reviews yet, but they were giddy with excitement because who doesn't need a good massage once in a while? Seriously.
Phew! That's a whole mess of random recommendations for fancy, anytime gifts if you feel so inclined to spoil the people you adore.. including yourself. You're allowed. If anyone asks, just tell them I said it's about time you treat yo' self. Besides, you know it is.
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