Apparently, the universe has a plan

Ok.. let's start with that last post.. um.. a bit of a downer. No really, you can be honest. I can take it. But you know letting go = sort of not easy.. and it doesn't have to be a huge dramatic thing. Even the average closing of the door on any 'you and me' idea that ends on a positive note is difficult for at least one person involved.. and yeah, I've certainly had better weeks, but it hasn't been all bad.

Let's start off with a randomly good story first tho.. shall we?

So.. I'm moving. Yes, again - this is a story for another time.. or maybe later this post.. if you're good, and really, that's a big 'if' people.. but seriously, it's fine. Yes, I know I've only been in my current residence for five months.. Let's not get distracted, ok? Stay focused..

Ok, well.. I still have to kind of talk about the moving thing to continue.. but I'll bring you back to the point and you'll see, hopefully, where I'm going with this..

Ideally I'm looking for just one other person to live with cuz I really can't afford to live on my own so I've talked to a couple of people who seemed interested and for specific reasons, just haven't worked out. One girl was really great, but she wanted a place with a bit higher rent to insure she'd get something she loved. Didn't blame her.. if I could afford it, I would've done the same thing. So I reposted the ad and the second time this darling boy answered. Now, I didn't go there.. no I did not. I'm a practical and realistic girl.. well, sometimes.. but get this.. he did. Went there, that is.

We traded myspace links (I swear that fucking site is going to be the death of me.) to get an idea of what the other was all about. Um.. yeah.. I know.. we're ridiculous. That's sooooo all the information about us we needed to know, right? But he seemed like a nice enough guy. He didn't answer my ad to pick me up or get an instant live-in girlfriend. It's not that seedy. But after perusing my profile, he found there were a 'myriad of attractions' (his words) to me and that caused him to rethink this cohabitating idea. And that the idea probably wasn't a good one. No, it was not. And then, surprisingly enough, he told me all this.

Now, you ask, why didn't I laugh and laugh and point and laugh some more and call him crazy? Oh you know me.. a good compliment can last me all week.. especially this week, right? Fragile ego, compassion abounds.. and I like those direct and blunt type guys. Oh yes I do. But I'm nothing if not insistant that even the worst situations should be able to be resolved for the benefit of both parties involved. You at least have to try, right? So I suggested we meet for drinks to see if his theory was correct or if I might be able to persuade him that tho cute, after three months of knowing me, any attraction would be diminished as the latest research study seemed to indicate. Besides that, the pictures of me are possibly just accidentally very good and in person, I'm just a Monet (oh come on.. you know what I mean - far away hot, but close up.. just a bunch of dots.).. again.. NOT that THAT would be the determining factor if we could live together or not, but apparently ugly is ALL the rage for compatible rooming.

His name? No, I'm not going to give you even three guesses. You know why? Come on.. nod your head.. you know why. And BINGO! You have it! Someone give the reader a prize! And, in response to your statement, yes way. It's Brandon. What are the odds, you ask? Um, hi, have we just met? Yeah, I don't do math.. I have no idea.. but pretty damn small if you ask me.

I think he was shocked I responded at all, but he agreed to meet and told me he had a story for me when we did. And wouldn't you know it.. we got along great.. or greatly. Or whatever it was that happened. I wasn't considering sparks cuz my heart's still rather MacGyver'd together with duct tape and a garden hose right now and again, the priority is to focus on what I need, which is to find a new place to live. But there was much fun and storytelling and rehashing of my break up and he related by telling me about his own break up a few months ago with a girl he met by way of (wait for it..) trying to find a place to live (!).

Ok, so he has a tendency to romantically pursue prospective female roommates it seems.. but hey, we all have our issues.. he's also a very good listener and advice giver-outer, his emails are intelligent, quick witted, even a tad cocky, and in person that's all there, but really, he's a big teddy bear who's actually fairly reserved (compared to me, the spastic chihuahua) til he feels a bit more comfortable or is a bit more intoxicated.. whichever comes first.

By the end of the night, there was an obvious mutual affinity, but as I'm not considering anyone romantically at this point, what I saw was the potential for a really good friendship. He did too, however, he still entertained 'ideas' for something else, which also led us back to why we were actually there and we decided he'd need to think it over and get back to me.

The next morning I received a very thoughtful and lengthy email from him beginning with how torn he was feeling, tho still positive we may be able to co-exist pretty happily with just my amazing dishwashing and cooking skills alone combined with his of being the resident spider-killer, bbq magic maker, and all around noise checker-outer and thief/rapist/serial killer stopper. Ahh the perks of living with big, strong men. But by the time he'd reached the end of his monologue, he'd reasoned himself right out of it and concluded the ramifications of any conjoined living, with us being the.. um.. conjoiners, would most likely result in disaster, or at the very least, some serious maiming, and therefore, he wished me well on finding someone else.

So.. pffft.. there went that idea.. but wow, I was very flattered and really appreciated his honesty. But moreover, I couldn't really deny the connection with this random ad-answering second Brandon and we continued to talk throughout the day.

And it started out as a very good day.. and then.. I sort of had a small ocean of depression wash over me....... and oy, the day just became much harder to get thru. So you know what my second-Brandon-in-a-row did?! Suggested we meet for drinks again. And you know what I did?!! Agreed. Wholeheartedly! There's just a very rare comfort in finding a new friend to talk to about all your latest tragedies.. maybe it's that they're so uncontaminated by your life that you have this addictive clean slate with which to work. I like that.

Anyway, there we were again and the company was so nice. He was very sweet and empathetic when I felt the need to release more relationship woes upon him. Then somewhere in the middle of a random bit that included ex-boy's best friends, Jen and Brian, my second-in-a-row Brandon stopped me and asked what these particular friends looked like cuz his ex had two best friends named Brian and Brandon. And.. it just couldn't be.. but when the details started to get more and more specific, our eyes just kept getting wider, and I think 'It's A Small World After All' started playing in our heads VERY loudly. My now Bizarrro-World Brandon was, in fact, the ex of Jen, whom he met six months ago when searching for a new place to live and who happens to be one of the best friends of my former Brandon, who so recently decided to break up with yours truly, who, tho brazenly sexy, which has no purpose in this sentence whatsoever except to boost my own ego, found herself in need of new housing and responding to an email from Bizarro Brandon about maybe needing a roommate and a new place to live.

Phew! Everyone still with me? Did we lose anyone?

We were both reeling with the incestuousness of it all, tho he found it rather humorous and I found it rather sad. There I was.. rejected by two different Brandons within six days of each other. They both found me funny, beautiful, smart, maybe more than dateable, and fun - yet one had decided that tho these were not advantageous qualities for his newest roommate, that other possibilities might be intriguing to ponder.. and the other, having already experienced all of the above and then some, had reduced these charms of sorts that comprise who I am into something 'less than' (tho he would disagree and just call it 'different').. One liked me too much and the other, not enough. Ahh.. my powers are surely fading, but God must've taken pity on me and sent me another Brandon doll to see if I couldn't work some magic with what I have left.. I think He, of all beings, should know what Hell is paved with.. or do you think I need to tell Him?

So is it Fate? It's possible. Is it a strange set of circumstances that led me and Brandon number two circling all around and nearby each other til WHAM! we just inevitably crashed head on? More likely. And, more than anything, I choose to believe that maybe there is this window that's opened ever so slightly when a door is closed and these invisible angels lead in Hope and Wonder to wash over you when you feel like you're broken and that it's going to hurt so much for so terribly long and they've come just to tell you it simply isn't true.. and they arrive in the form of new friends and new opportunities you never expected... and surprisingly, it makes all the difference.

Well kids.. that is my rousing bedtime story for you all. May you all have something to hope for, something to dream, and someone to share it all with. I gotta run. Kevin Bacon is still waiting for me to call.