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Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Incomplete Sentences Are The New Black

Because I'm working on another post that isn't all that happy.

Because there are lots of happy things going on this week that I should focus on instead.

Because I think better standing up and as soon as I sit to put my ideas down, they vanish mysteriously.

Because Project Runway keeps me up late.

Because Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is THE. BEST. NEW. SHOW. EVER written by my favorite writers IN THE WHOLE WORLD, Tommy Schlamme and Aaron Sorkin, who used to write The West Wing and then they left and it all went to hell in a handbasket. And because they have a fucking amazing cast. I studied acting. I have a passion.

Because I have bitten all my nails down to pathetic nubs while watching said tv shows.. dammit.

Because Grey's Anatomy starts this week!

Because I'm just plain confused when it comes to guys and how to read what is going on with them. Sigh..

Because I got new jeans a couple of weeks ago and they're FINALLY hemmed!

Because I get the CUTEST new pair of glasses on Wednesday.

Because on THE SAME DAY I get new glasses.. I also get to see SNOW PATROL whom I've been waiting for since, oh, JUNE, for them to return after cancelling that show. Thank you for healing from your throat surgery Mr. Lead Singer of Snow Patrol Guy!!

Because by the end of Wednesday, I may spontaneously combust from joy.

Because I think.. and I say I'm not quite sure yet, but have my fingers crossed.. that Emma, my princess of a kitty, is finally using her litter box again to poo! I think I may have cured her - and you just don't want to know how. Seriously tho, you people have no idea how excited you would be if you had almost 2 months of mysterious cat poo on the carpet - not urine - oh no.. she uses the box for THAT thank GOD.. but not using it for the other for reasons completely unknown to you when you've provided a PERFECTLY GOOD cat litter unit, PURPLE no less! It's practically designer, people! And she may be using it again! So refrain from the jokes.. just hope with me, ok?

Because, and this is one of the more outstanding reasons, one of my best friends is getting married this week to someone who makes her blissfully happy.. and I know he feels the same about her. I'm thrilled that she has found that kind of love and flattered she's included me in the ceremony.. to read a poem about.. ponies. Don't ask people. It's love. It can't be explained.

Because I will be looking pretty damn good in said wedding with a very adorable new dress.. and a Victoria's Secret bra that is fucking phenomenal, if I do say so myself (I mean, people.. my boobs were good before.. but they are simply unstoppable now and what could possibly go wrong when you've got unstoppable boobs?! Really.. don't answer that.. but I'm just sayin.).

Because due to wedding responsibilities this week, there will be a lot of eating, digesting, toasting, drinking, hopefully a little booty shaking after all the crying and plenty of hugging of people we all hardly know I'm guessing.. but unfortunately, there will be little time for blogging. Yeah.. no matter how hard I try I can't see any way that wouldn't be regarded as quite rude so it's just not going to happen.

Because I'm getting a pedicure, manicure and hell yeah, acupuncture for my back on Friday.

Because I just got the latest edition of Real Simple in the mail.. LOVE it!

Because I can't seem to get to bed til midnight or after any damn day since this year started and tonight is no exception.

Because apparently I've learned to function after only 6 hours of sleep and two cups of coffee.

Because I've already started planning my birthday in November and just came up with the Greatest Idea Ever of a photo scavenger hunt which will be FUCKING AWESOME.. and then afterwards, will be The Prom You Never Had cuz I will be turning 35 and I get to do whatever I want, so there.

Because Pixie is planning her first ever adult birthday party - 5 months after her actual yearly mark - but like it matters cuz birthdays are important no matter when they're celebrated. Life should be celebrated and hers is certainly one worthy of that.

Because Treena, ammogirl, thought 'what the hell' and asked to leave Korea, where's she's stationed by the military, a day earlier than she was scheduled to leave to come home to her family before they shipped them all out to Germany for she's-not-exactly-sure-how-many-years-but-at-least-three and was granted permission. An extra day with your husband and children is always better than a day training with gas masks, right Treens?

And last but not least and undeniably a reason for celebration, because the loving father of my two nieces, ages 6 and 4, and incredible husband to Kari, one of my very best and dearest friends of almost 20 years, came out of surgery, the tumor declared benign, he's home from the hospital and she can begin breathing again.. cuz I know you were doing everything you could to be strong, sugar. It's going to be ok.

18 comments:

Indiana said...

Ok I am such a guy, I read that entire post and all I remember is Vicky S New Bra Awesome Boobs...does that make me simple or fixated...mmm...not sure?

Rigmor said...

What cat wouldn't want to poo in a purple litter box?

Anyway, list certainly puts "black" into incomplete sentences - I hope you have a wonderful wedding!

anywherebutTX said...

"Because Grey's Anatomy starts this week!

Because I'm just plain confused when it comes to guys and how to read what is going on with them. Sigh.."


These two things are all I have been able to think about this week.

Miss Devylish said...

Indy: Um.. probably both. But it's ok. It mostly makes you male.

Rigmor: I know! Wtf? My cat is weird tho. Cross your fingers!

Mandy: I'm w/ you sister.

Buzzdome said...

First of all, that post was 898 words long, roughly 1.8% of 50k words....

My two-bit thoughts on your most excellent post:
Those tv shows (and others) are the reason my couch has an assprint in it.
Girls confuse me. I don't think that's a genetically distinct trait one way or the other.
Kitty's should want poo on the purple. I'm not sure I want to know what the cure was though.
You looking good goes without saying. Your confidence in KNOWING that your b00bs stop traffic is even sexier.
That is the most awesome birthday idea. I've tried something like that before, but the kids just ended up just drinking and jamming.
We all forget to celebrate life. Reminders are Always good. Friends spending time with loved ones makes everyone happy. If it doesn't, then your heart is as black as the ace of spades. Huzzah to your friends husband.

Anonymous said...

Hi My name is Brad,

Just been readin your column and wanted to say I enjoy it everyday. I also think you are the most gorgeous girl and you should join me for a drink at least. I know internet dating is not what you are into, just wanted to say hi. I will get my blog up soon, and maybe something will happen like sparks.

Cheers,
B

Miss Devylish said...

Buzz: Hm. I'll think about the novel contest.. but in the meantime, thanks. :)

Brad/anonymous: Well hello.. and thank you.. and yes I do date internetly.. but there is a process about that. First and foremost, you have to live here.. in Seattle. Second, pictures do have to be involved so feel free to email, but you can't be offended if you're not my type. Thank you very much for your sweet comments tho!

Anonymous said...

Miss D,

Let's be cute about this - what do you like in a man and I will adjust myself as such. He he - can a man do that? I have never done this before - never needed to but sometimes, you find someone and then -

OK, I live here in Seattle, what's next?

Ciao,
B

mushroom said...

"I'm just plain confused when it comes to guys and how to read what is going on with them" - if only i could write a translation book between the sexes eh?

lol - the word panty was in the word verification!

P said...

Enjoyed this, dear one. Didn't understand any of the tv stuff but YEAH to spending time with people we love. I've been reading a manual: "Idiot's guide to Playing Well With Others and Scavenger Hunts." Think I'll be ready for your birthday by November...
xx

Miss Devylish said...

B: Hm.. well.. a picture. Email contact is near the top of my site page.. send away. Only fair since I've linked to my flickr page.

mushroom: ah dear.. I would love it if you'd write a book and I would be the first to buy it! I love those verification words.. sometimes.. :)

Pix: You are such a treasure.. you know that?

lady miss marquise said...

Ha, living vicariously through your comments, it could be the start of a brand new love affair...

and I understand the not understanding men thing, and please can I come for your birthday (just try and stop me!!)

Love to box pooping Emma, and to you of course

x x

kario said...

Love the VS bra (just got a new one myself this week), love to Emma and I hope your cure worked (you know I want to hear about it as sick as my mind is), love your birthday idea and the fact that you get to go to a show you've been dying for, love your enthusiasm for treena and my hubby, but mostly I love you, my sweet friend! You have saved my sanity more than once in this lifetime. Write as many incomplete sentences as you like.

Miss Devylish said...

LadyMiss: Ms. Emma sends her love back and good God yes you're so invited for the birthday. You know Pixie is already requiring your presence on the 30th. Better get your ass down here.

kario: It's my job to be here for you, sweetie. You would do the same for me in a heartbeat - and actually, have, tenfold. This is why we've been friends for almost 2 decades. We get it. Love you right back!

Anonymous said...

wait...I commented on this! I DID! And it's NOT HERE!

Well, crap. Hello darling, sorry to be late to the party. What I had initially said something about boobs. How unfortunate that I have forgotten exactly what.

MommyHeadache said...

Oh God, I missed Project Runway again last night and last sunday! Who got kicked off who? I'm desperate to know, only I'm going to try and wait until Sunday to find out. My guess is that gay guy ...ooh, the waiting is unbearable.

Unknown said...

that brad guy is kinda freaky. you should update us on the happenings, just in case. i know people, too.

and oh, shit, now i've forgotten everything but the wonderful boobs. or was it bra? it's highly unlikely that you're getting a new pair of boobs from the net, so it must be bra.

and oh, your friend, good luck and best wishes. i've new (pirate) copies of Sopranos season 6 (excellent) and West Wing season 6 (excellent for the first six episodes, the rest refused to work).

see, i remember other things too. I'm half lesbian.

good friday to you.

Miss Devylish said...

Treens: I'll believe you.. for now.

emma: So flattered you're here! And yes, I think Kane was booted off.. poor boy. Just doesn't have any taste most of the time.

treespotter: Yes, I think you scared him away cuz he hasn't written since. But it figures - all talk and no action. Like all the other guys I've dated. And oh, I think my next post will only say 'boobs' on it and I'll probably get the highest amount of comments ever!

popeye: Why thank you! I thought so! :)