I'm Sick So This Is What You Get..

nataliedee.com

It's Thursday night. I've spent the last two days home sick with this reigning supreme being that is this cold, which has been kicking my ass and possibly turned into the flu today but realized, finally, it's met its match while watching three straight episodes of LOST and is now cowardly making its retreat - or so I'm gathering by my head being much less woozy and nose being a tad less sniffly and stuffy.. but who knows really? It could be changing strategy and planning a comeback. Tho I finally have some stronger vitamins after a very sweet and convincing call from dear old mom that I only needed 2000 mg of Vitamin C to kick it to the curb so there I was buying some like she told me - who knows when the last time I did something she suggested was.. 1987? But she's been unusually motherly regarding her mouth-like-a-sailor daughter. I think there was a little too much tear-jerking over my broken-heart story. I should make a mint when Lifetime comes to buy it if Mom's concern is any sign.

So I don't know about the rest of you.. but God, I was tired of seeing that sappy post. Don't get me wrong.. I'm all heart-on-my-sleeve still. That will never change. Sometimes you have to reveal everything to get a sense of closure on the whole mess. At least I do. But the right decision was made for Boris and me and it should've stayed made the first time I made it back in December. And there's a lot of reasons I naively hoped for something different than what I was allowing myself.. but that's my doing.. and I blame no one else for that. Boris and I will eventually figure out where we are in our own lives and how we fit in each other's and the friendship will find its way back to the Not Awkward Place one day, I'm sure. Hopefully soon.

Til then.. you're stuck with me and these sort of inane posts about..... wait for it...... How People Find Me Online! Yes! I knew you were dying for it. I know it piques my curiosity. How can it not pique yours? That's rhetorical.. don't answer that.

17 Feb, Sun, 21:54:51 Google: things to do in seattle on spring break
18 Feb, Mon, 01:14:27 Google: miss devylish
18 Feb, Mon, 16:01:46 Google: poem i deserve more
18 Feb, Mon, 17:01:47 Google: miss devylish
18 Feb, Mon, 20:43:38 Google: 3D
18 Feb, Mon, 21:30:57 Google: 3A
18 Feb, Mon, 21:48:59 Google: how to get asked for a second date
18 Feb, Mon, 22:52:04 Google: miss devylish
19 Feb, Tue, 08:04:51 Yahoo: miss devylish
19 Feb, Tue, 09:26:15 Google: things to see and do in seattle washington in february 2008
19 Feb, Tue, 14:20:29 Yahoo: miss devylish
19 Feb, Tue, 14:30:37 Google: Love poems, xoxo
19 Feb, Tue, 14:51:01 Google: Cuts on Lips from scissors what should we do?
20 Feb, Wed, 06:52:55 Google: treena diebold
20 Feb, Wed, 07:37:35 Google: you deserve poem love
20 Feb, Wed, 08:11:18 Yahoo: miss devylish
20 Feb, Wed, 10:44:55 Google: seattle things to do Feb 21 to 24
21 Feb, Thu, 20:35:56 Google: lips cut off
21 Feb, Thu, 20:52:36 Google: i want to be needed poem

Clearly you can see that Google is by far winning the search-engine race over Yahoo. What? An attempted Microsoft buyout?? Watch Yahoo dispel that giant like the little David it is with it's mighty slingshot! I give them kudos for that. And Yahoo gets at least 2 out of every 20 searches by my testing alone so working that out.. um.. I think that equals a fraction of some kind and I can already feel my stomach tightening up over the math.. ow. Nevermind.

At least some people are looking for me specifically.. nothing curious there. It's a nice ego boost from my established four or five fans who clearly.. uh.. don't have me bookmarked..

The 3D and 3A always make me a little confused as to how little you have to put into a search engine to actually find me. I'm not even right on top. Like.. honestly, I tested the searching and after page seven was a little bored with all the not me that was there. And if you're looking for 3D or 3A.. wouldn't you have stopped by then to see what you were really looking for rather than continuing onto oh.. page 23 and randomly finding me? Actually.. I didn't even look that far. I bet I'm much further back than that.

The poem search brings back my little wishful thinking love poem I came home and wrote in about five minutes after a long conversation with Boris where I'd told him I wanted most of those things eventually. It was more a declaration of what I thought I deserved and honestly, just what I think is reasonable if you're going to be in it at all. And during this month of February, the loathed Valentine's holiday I run screaming from when single and canoodle like an idiot the one time I've been part of a couple, it's kind of nice to see the post come up. Solidarity to all my unrequited brothers and sisters of love out there yo!

There is the token 'treena' search.. because I mention my beloved friend, ammogirl, plenty.. however, nothing is better than the one I sent her a while back when someone was just looking for 'treena's boobs' or something to that effect. I mean.. really. You've reached your top level of blogging fame when someone is searching for the naughty parts of you, no? And really, the girl has a pretty amazing rack, if you want my honest opinion, so who can blame you dirty mongrels out there? I pass no judgement.

While looking for the answers for securing that coveted second date, there are constant referrals back to me for the one post I didn't write about how not to get it. Of course, while I was out galavanting in the faux Nevada desert at Burning Man, Indi guested and wrote a pretty phenomenal man's man piece - pun intended - that doesn't mince words and continually brings the readers back to my whiny girl chatter when they clearly want to hear what he's got to say. I don't mind.. I'm not jealous.. I only admire. And the guy calls me 'babes' when he comments. I don't know what it is about him, but I like it.

My biggest concern are those looking to the internet to treat something that should be a call to 911 or a quick drive to the nearest emergency room. 'Cuts on lips from scissors what do we do?' Um.. are you thinking duct tape could do the trick? Seriously? HOSPITAL, people.. NOW! Helloooo.. Are you new?! Nevermind. I know the answer. Put down the scissors and get into this car because it's obvious no one else is doing anything and you are sitting there BLEEDING TO DEATH because you're too busy surfing the internet for a BANDAGE! For the love of Pete.. you must be delusional from the blood loss since you're STILL SITTING THERE IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER DOING NOTHING. AAAGH.. You people are killing me.. really..

Alright.. that's it for tonight. I know, you're shocked. A five-minute read and I'm done? Never happens. But I feel this flu saying goodbye and I could use at least a full five hours of good sleep sans snot.. Plus, I realized today that I have a pretty maddening crush on my director of the art festival gala who will be going by Eight cuz there may be mention of him more, but the point is I already know my subconscious is going to leave me very frustrated by morning..

Sweet dreams, kittens!