Happy Days

Do you SEE this view? THAT is my view from our roof! How incredible is that? I'll tell you. SO. That's exactly how incredible it is.

It's Sunday on this Memorial Day holiday weekend.. and it was supposed to rain. I think it did, but not when it mattered. We've had something of a gorgeous couple of days and it made for a lovely brunchwarming yesterday here at the A-team's modest abode.

We had Shine's homemade strata and caramel rolls that I simply wanted to live in and I made waffles and scrambled eggs. We poured a few bottles of champagne for cranberry or standard mimosas, sat in the sun on our deck and the rooftop one (not at the same time, of course) and visited with our friends. We were given a number of flowery plants and bouquets that made the party complete and colored our apartment into a bright and cheery place to be after everyone had left in pursuit of other sunshiny activities.

Shine and I high-fived on our teamwork and still-in-tact-and-clean home afterwards. Oh yeah,we had a good party.

The view from our rooftop deck makes the money we spend for rent feel worth it. It's more expensive than the last place but the landlords love us - and I mean LOVE. We can do no wrong in their eyes. Summer afternoons and evenings we can use the roof to have last minute barbecues or drinks with a sexy date if we wanted to. Well.. theoretically. We get a view of the city and the rich in their fancy sailboats lazily drifting on the water. It's a vast improvement from the last place and it finally feels like we've settled in.

I've been busy trying to focus on me a lot more lately and it feels good. It limits the social life, but there's socializing of sorts. I've met some new people associated with the Balagan Theatre, which I'm doing some stage managing for right now and really enjoying being a part of their current show, Take Me With You. I'll be doing the same role for the next show as well, Road Movie. Both are one-man shows played by Mark Pinkosh who is a wealth of talent and entertainment on and off stage. His partner, Godfrey, who wrote both plays, will be in town next weekend and I'm excited to bend his ear about his writing, which I really love. It feels good to be involved even if I'm not acting. They even gave me keys to the theatre. Clearly my oh-so-innocent face and batting eyes are an advantage when trying to network. Whatever works, I say.

Participating in the band is just icing on the performance cake. I'm loving it. It can be frustrating when I can't figure out where I can harmonize or what I can offer to an old classic soul song that originally had no harmony or back up in it in the first place so then I have to find a purpose other than the frickin tambourine while on stage (Have you ever played a tambourine? For real? They kinda hurt after like a minute. Ow.). And some songs are so old they can't be found on iTunes or Google and it's a guessing game what they're singing - but the whole thing is rewarding as hell. We don't even have ten songs that have come together completely yet, but we're moving along and getting some down. We'll need a lot more in order to have enough to fill an entire evening at any given bar.. but it'll happen. My friends are excited to hear about when we'll be doing that and I'm nervous, but not thinking quite that far ahead yet.

I did something that even surprised me tho. I invited Boris to join the group. We only had the one sax to represent the horn section and if you know any old soul music, there are a lot of horns in those songs. When the boys mentioned how a trombone or a trumpet could help, I thought, how convenient that I know a trumpet player.. and a damn good one at that.

He sounded enthusiastic about the idea when I posed it to him.. and so far, he's been to one rehearsal and loved it. I was really happy to see him when I walked in that night. We had previously decided that with more than just us to focus on, we could have fun and possibly strengthen what's become a very marginalized and weakened friendship since the break up in February. And tho this is a new development and I want to give it room, I'm impatient and mostly disappointed with his lack of communication since. I don't get the feeling he's leaving any space open in his life for me. Maybe there's no need. We both took some time and space to process - me needing more, I'm sure - but I feel having done that, I've put it away and let it go.. so, personally, I'd like my friend back. I've told him as much too. So I know either it didn't register or, and more likely, he doesn't feel the same. Maybe that will change, but when a lover vanishes from a significant place in my life, I'm never prepared for how vacant and crappy that feels.

I wonder sometimes if we were ever good enough friends for real.. or if we were just biding time knowing each other til we found our way to being romantically involved. Because even tho we put in the friend time prior to that and I thought we were close, I don't feel like we're friends regardless of what happened. I feel like we're just exes who maybe can't be friends because that attraction won't go away. Not one that pulls you from across a room. The difference is that now we're just forced to ignore it and we don't allow it to hold any weight. So what can you do when you're willing to put in the effort but it's simply not reciprocated? Nothing I suppose other than allow your initiative to lie there like dead lettuce, which kinda sucks.. but I can't do it all by myself, you know? We're meeting up tomorrow for dinner before rehearsal and I'm hoping we'll figure out how to get past all this quiet between us. Crossing fingers anyway.

There's one more day of this gloriously long weekend and I'm frickin thrilled about it. I love No Work Mondays. Especially No Work Mondays where I'm allowed to sleep in AND where I get to meet my new nephew! Especially those. I get to rehearse with the band after that and THEN I'm meeting up with Boz for some private catching up since he's been on the east coast this weekend visiting family. Added bonus. It's not supposed to be sunny, but I don't care. We had two extra days of unexpectedly warm weather and you can color me appreciative.

I have to say, this holiday weekend that included not leaving for the actual holiday at all, hasn't been so bad. Not even a little. Having no plans other than our brunchwarming and riding high on spur of the moment seems to have excelled beyond my initial expectations of.. just not knowing what to expect past Saturday afternoon. And look! No packing or unpacking. Two of my highly UNfavorite things. I say that's a fantastic weekend of holidaying when there are no unfavorite things that require your attention. I do indeed. You should try saying it yourself. I will even stop typing so we can all focus on you. Go ahead now. Yes. That's right. Now. No really. Go. Seriously.