Memorial Weekend Indeed

I've been trying to find enlightenment and inspiration pretty much everywhere I can these days. I've been feeling sponge-like, flexible.. open to suggestion and anything else that crosses my path or walks thru my environment. I'm trying to reflect and process and just be. I'm trying to find joy and negate the weight in the pit of my stomach and the ache in my chest. It's easy to feel sorry for myself and so much more work to be positive, but as I come into my groove, it gets easier. The sun was out, I ended the weekend in another country - the closest I could get to being 'away' - and people-watched after a day of lazy dining and retail therapy with old friends.

I started the weekend doing errands at home. Then I went wandering to find some sweet gifts for MJ since I was heading out to her birthday party that night. While looking around for special things for her, I bought fancy treats for a special English girl going thru a situation similar to mine and having a rough time of it. It's so much nicer to try to make someone else feel better than wallowing in my own achey breaky heart madness. It makes me feel like I have a better purpose than thinking of myself.

On my way home, I stopped by Greenlake to get in a little exercise and fresh air. I do love taking in the scenery and Seattle was out en masse having the same thoughts that I had.

The first person I saw walk by me had on a t-shirt that said 'Be Brave' and being in the absorbant place I was, I took that as a direct message to myself. I thought 'Yes! I will be! I am!' It was a very gung-ho way to start my walk I thought because y'all know me.. I'm very gung-ho.Then there was this lovely woman, Middle-Eastern I believe, wearing her traditional clothing. She had a comforting face and tho I was wearing sunglasses, she connected with me, gave me a very genuine smile like she knew me, like we shared a secret, just between the two of us. I smiled back and said hello and she just nodded. I really don't know what it was about, but it gave me a very chicken-soup-for-the-soul moment that I carried with me for the rest of my walk.

On one side of the lake they were having an outrigger canoe competition! Très exciting! Then I walked by a portion of the lake well-known for where these darling little turtles collect to sunbathe all over the logs that are just off the bank. They're always there when the sun is out and you can't not be slightly adoring at how frickin cute they are.

You see all sorts of people walking around the lake on a sunny day. Straight couples, gay couples, traditional and alternative families, everyone having picnics, bikini-clad girls taking in the rays, dogs of every shape and size, teams playing soccer, basketball, or football, a family playing bocce ball, some couples playing croquet, and the mini-golf course looked packed as well. I looked for the sweet older man who wears a sign on his back that says 'Spanish Lessons' and takes a few minutes talking with you in conversational Spanish if you're so inclined, but he wasn't there that day. I also didn't see a single rollerblader, which is unusual, but I did see an older gentleman in actual roller skates getting down with his bad self. The middle of the lake was littered with rented paddle boats and the outskirts were crowded with old men and families fishing for a little something. Not only did I get in 3.2 miles, I also took the fact in that there is life - all kinds - around me.. and it was a good reminder that it keeps going so I might as well too.

My afternoon was so calm and cathartic that it seemed appropriate to let loose at MJ's party that night. Chinese food led to a rowdy karaoke bar where bad drinks led to louder cheers for whatever 80's song we thought was perfect to be sung. L'il Peach started with The Eurithmics, Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This, then I followed with Fiona's Criminal and it just went on from there. A neighboring table and two other birthdays joined in the celebrating and debauchery. MJ got up to sing BareNakedLadies' If I Had $1,000,000 with me, L'il Peach and I found our karaoke high with Abba's Take A Chance On Me that had the whole bar dancing and our neighbor's table closed the bar with The Clash's Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now. Many MANY pictures were taken.. as you will see.. BUT we didn't stop there. We continued on to downtown where we cut a rug to some dancey grooves til about 3am and then decided we needed late-night hot dogs with the works before bed. It wasn't my party, but damn, it was the best time I'd had in a while. Also, did I mention drinks? Because there may have been many..

I show Erin a bit too much love here I believe..

MJ and L'il Peach are trying to be coy - I'm not sure what I'm doing.. being a ham? The usual probably.

Trying to be sexy.. I'm not sure what L'il Peach is doing.. but again, many many drinks.. keep in mind..

Underestimating how late Saturday night would keep me up, I'd made plans for a mid-morning brunch on Sunday with Yoda in Columbia City. I was surprised myself that I'd made it, but it was good for us to catch up. We hadn't in some time. I headed up to BC after that - looking forward to turning up the rockin' tunes in the car to as full blast as I could handle and passing thru the border easily. Well.. by 'easy' I meant 'fast' and the border wasn't that AT ALL.. but I did make it thru tho delayed, with no troubles. Met up with Ali and another friend, Skye-lea for drinks at a downtown bar and took in the Canadian ease about me.

I'm not sure my BC trip was everything I wanted, tho I'm not sure what I expected. Some friends I wrote to didn't respond to messages once I arrived so I just let happen what was going to happen, visited with Ali, and just let myself feel 'away'. We wandered and brunched on Monday, stopping to shop in Kitsilano where I got some sexy but probably slightly hoochie heeled sandals and eventually being shopped out, Ali and I said our goodbyes and I parked it at a cafe to write til the sun set. I then ventured wayyyy the heck out to Surrey to see my friend Joe and we talked and his mom fed me and it all felt very homey. Joe's mom is the Every Mom and I sort of wanted her to adopt me and take care of me for a bit since she was close and my own mother was a country and two states away. You can't just do that to your friends tho.. have their moms adopt you.. rude.

After dinner, I was homeward bound. The border was crossed quicker this time, but the gruff state-side patrol had to sternly remind me I need a passport come June 1st. Yes thank you officer (as in.. duh.. I read the InterWeb, thank you.. and if you did too, you would see it's still a week away.. so I don't actually need a passport do I? No.. not at this very moment because it is May 25th and not, in fact, June 1st.. so I'm not sure what is with the attitude buster.. you're going to let me pass now right? And yes, you are very manly, yes.. yes you are..)! I'm getting one oh-so-very soon! Smilesmilesmile..

I wish I could say I drove home to a perfectly tolerable work week, but you know when you're down and you're just getting steady? Wouldn't you know it.. your own stupid mouth gets your ass into trouble you didn't expect - even if it was just a misunderstanding and something that happened last week that you thought was cleared.. but apparently you are to be seen and not heard. And by you, I mean me. You knew that tho.

I'm a sponge! I'm open to understanding and change! I'm thinking positively!

Ok.. seriously.. just tell me it's going to get better (and consequently, I will also not be stupid enough to lose my job too.. god.. I couldn't take it.).. and oh yeah.. send wine. Ok, I'm kidding.. ok.. not really, but sort of.. I mean, no.. DO really send some. Do you think things could get worse?! C'mon!