List-less

I don't think I've made a list in a while.. or talked to those cute girls in the UK who I adore and who's blogs I've neglected (they know who they are) and those girls were the ones who were always my listy inspirations. But I saw this list on another blog called Employment FAIL - which you should also read because why? Wayyy funnier than me - but they didn't create the list either so I had to steal it because helloooo.. funniest thing I've seen since oh.. being unemployed in January. And that's saying a lot. Not that there's been a lot to laugh about, tho Karma has been a helping hand lately and not kicking me while I'm down, but here I am, laughing, feeling good and feeling listy. So let's get to it.

Um.. I may have also stolen the post idea from one of Employment FAIL's guest bloggers. Hey, I never said unemployment provided any extra creativity or anything.. just time to think, wow.. I'm so not creative right now. Thus.. here we are. So.

Things I've learned since being unemployed:

1. Mangos are really really good. And only 99 cents at Trader Joe's right now. I personally think that's a bargain for a little Hawaii (or wherever they come from.. I suck at geography) in your mouth.

2. Miss Emma Kitty seems happier with me around more. Not that she notices when I'm not because she'd be sleeping for 8-10 hours, but still.

3. There's way too much traffic at 5pm. What is UP with that?!

4. I have really bad circulation. You know how I figured this out? HOURS of SITTING on my kitchen stool being 'productive' on the laptop by looking for work. And I say it that way because if the people paying $12 an hour would even return my resume submissions, maybe there'd be some hope.. but it's been pretty bleak. Why isn't there an internet cafe in my apartment in a cushier place? Oh right.. there is. It's called THE COUCH, which I avoid because the threat of napping my troubles away doesn't usually work even tho a nap always sounds better than looking for a stupid job.

5. Ok.. jobs are not stupid. They just don't seem to be lining up at my door. Stupid empty line.

6. Not worrying every second about money and bills for the moment is nice.

7. What isn't nice? Poopy diapers.. but over not working at all, I'll take it.

8. Nannying may not be the ideal job for me, however, to get paid for playing trains or super heroes or laughing while a 1-year-old climbs all over you giggling? Yeah.. doesn't suck. 180 degrees less stressful than any office job I can think of.

9. Not all floss is made the same. Do not, I repeat DO NOT, save yourself a measly dollar by purchasing the Target brand Glide floss.. seriously not as good. Splurge the extra buck and get the real thing. I love me some good Tar-zsay deals.. don't get me wrong, but here, I'm forced to draw the line. You are welcome.

10. Happy hour is awesome and you lucky full-time employed people just can't enjoy it like the rest of us. I'm sad for you.

11. I do end up drinking a lot more. Friends take me out, cute boys, etc. Is this good for me? Probably not.. but due to too many drinks more often than not at 100 calories a glass at least, it does make me hit the gym a lot more often. I say that's a decent trade off.

12. That said, bartenders are good friends to have.

13. Shockingly, I can't seem to catch up with my Netflix queue or the dvr recordings waiting patiently for me. I have all the season finales I need however, I like that I haven't been spending my free time in front of the tv. I've been making theater, being creative, fostering it in others actually.. and that's all kinds of awesome.

14. And looking for work is a given. It's just frustrating, like everyone who's unemployed knows. You keep looking for a needle in a haystack, something that speaks to you, something challenging, and which you might have a chance at that 3000 other people aren't qualified for, but you, of course, are. I keep doing it because I have to keep hoping. You have to keep trying. I want to work. I think it's human nature to want to contribute.. but do you wait for the right thing or take whatever might be available? You can't even bus tables without sending a resume and I haven't worked in a restaurant in probably 12 years. How can I be both under and over-qualified for that? Sigh.. I honestly don't know.

15. I've at least found one new direction. Yours truly, besides being a fantastic bosser-arounder, actually has a good eye with seeing what works and what doesn't in theater. The Boy sometimes made me think I didn't because he was also good at what he knew and rather self-absorbed.. but being outside his world and creating my own has made me feel stronger in my own opinion. I've been allowed to move around autonomously a bit in this current show and I've received a ton of positive feedback regarding how I relate and work with this cast. Maybe it's a fluke, but I'm hoping I can shadow the projects of some of the directors I know eventually. I'm kind of excited about those possibilities.

16. Also, if you aren't watching Modern Family, may I ask you WHY NOT?! Have you seen the episode where they all go to Hawaii?! I mention too much that I went to college with Ty Burrell and that he's the nicest guy ever. I don't harass him or anything (simply because I don't have his email), but honestly, it's the funniest thing on tv. True story.

17. Ok ok and tho it seems like I'm watching tv a lot after saying I wasn't, here's the best new equation: Betty White + SNL = OhMYGod! The Delicious Dish muffin sketch? Unbelievable! Not to mention Ana Gasteyer and Molly Shannon are in it too.. but if you haven't seen it, Hulu that asap!

18. I'm an awesome person, a kick ass friend, a great employee (when I'm not late), and an even better stage manager. I struggled with believing these things at the beginning of the year because people - and by that I mean a lot of them - told me otherwise. That's a large weight to process especially when you're still filtering a wounded heart you think you'll never get over and the loss of other people who simply choose not to be in your life any longer. It's nice to know that the numbers who believe in me well outnumber those who don't.. and the negative perspective may not change, but it doesn't effect me like it did a few months ago because the positive feedback just keeps coming my way and unsolicited, I might add. But honestly, I know I lost who I was. I saw that happen, but I couldn't stop it because sometimes you just have to be sad. And now, that super strong and happy girl has finally, FINALLY returned.. and she's even better than I remembered.