Only two more days

Oh believe it. I'm already counting down. Sorry.. maybe you like your family. Hell, maybe you even love them. Don't get me wrong. I love mine, but I don't in any way like them most of the time... and spending the holidays being around them just seems to remind me of this glaring fact that I forget when I'm in my sassy little world.. oh.. without them.

At the moment I entered the house today I'd apparently interrupted some conversation between my mother and my aunt, which didn't stop with my arrival even tho I hadn't seen anyone since Thanksgiving. In fact, Gram asked about my drive and somewhere in the middle of my story about the MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF STANDING WATER and ALL THE HYDROPLANING that I thought could likely lead to MY OWN PERSONAL AND AGONIZING DEATH that SCARED ME TO THE POINT OF A CRUMBLY GIRLY MESS, Mom didn't even acknowledge I'd walked in the door. Of course immediately after bringing in my things, I literally felt myself regress to a snotty brat of 17, sat on the couch and grabbed the nearest magazine in hopes it might swallow me whole somehow. Or with just my reading skills I could ignore everyone til it was time for dinner.. whichever came first.

Hi! Welcome home!

After another young cousin arrived with her two very chatty children (TWO people.. the girl is just 21! Hellloooo..) and her father, my uncle, the zoning out was a success.

I know.. I'm completely rude.. especially since after they left, we all opened presents with my brother and his wife. That was the fun part and I think most everyone was happy with their gifts - even if I'm convinced Mom will take the really very cute and so soft jacket from me back the first chance she gets. She did feign she liked it for a bit.. that's all I could ask for.. at least she tried. Tho she'll most likely leave it in the bag for three weeks first before she remembers she never tried it on and then she will, but it won't fit and then she'll take it back but maybe leave it in her trunk for another month after that. Did I mention her birthday is also a couple weeks before Christmas? Yes, well.. December is my personal hell when it comes to my mother. Sigh..

Should I even begin with my brother? I'd think not, but I can't really help myself. It started after the holiday movie catch up we usually do, which means watching all the movies I wouldn't have EVER paid to see but Mom seems to think she'll BUY cuz she says it's actually um..cheaper (someone please explain this to me like I'm a 6-year-old), one being Mr. & Mrs. Smith - not nearly as bad as people made it out to be. Not deep or anything, but hey, I enjoyed it.. and The Brothers Grimm - ugh.. bleh! Trash! Get it out now! I wouldn't use this script to clean out Emma's kitty box.. good God.. this was SO bad I was actually annoyed.. I kept telling the tv to shut up.. bad movie, no biscuit!

And when it was FINALLY over.. my life shortened unnecessarily by three painful hours.. the news was reporting some shark attack near Seaside. I simply made a comment after they'd said the man was rushed to the nearby hospital about how he's probably worse off since hospitals on the coast over there - and we lived there for 10 years so we've heard the stories - aren't so great. You know.. someone goes in for appendicitis and comes out sans right foot or something. Oh I don't know all the details.. I heard it as a kid and there was a doctor there named Dr. Hazzard. What the hell does that say? I'll tell you.. nothing good. Pffft!

But then.. my brother had to argue with me. This is our routine when we're in the same house together for times like these and I usually count how long we go til we get into one of these inane discussions. This time = about 6 hours. Record.

Todd: Actually Angel, I personally know two friends who've been saved by the hospitals over there.

Me: For what?

Todd: Shark attacks.

Me: Ok.. whatever *turning back around to the computer where I'm venting oh so creatively and thinking to myself.. oh yes.. ALL your friends are shark attack survivors.. yes yes.. yawn*

Todd: *still going on..I have no idea what he said here*

Me: Ok.. I'm not listening. You can stop talking now.

Todd: *muttering some insult in Russian cuz he thinks he's so smart since he married a Russian girl - who, by the way, I happen to really like - but it doesn't matter cuz he's still my brother and a retard at that*

Me: Um, hello.. it wasn't a personal attack on you, Todd..

Todd: I didn't say it was.

Me: You sure act like it *Interrupted by -

Mom: ALRIGHT, BOTH OF YOU.. KNOCK IT OFF.

*ahem*

So yeah, yesterday I braved two inches of rain that sounds not that bad but it made the roads really, really scary for miles and my arms were so tense from gripping the wheel so tightly and I was so terrified after swerving severely multiple times that I thought I was going to kill myself and many other people, which wouldn't be so nice for all their families or, you know, me.. so I pulled off the nearest exit and when I finally got somewhere I could stop I just broke down and cried. Yes.. hi.. sad moment.. I mean, it was REALLY scary, thank you! But boy called, tried to calm me down, and convinced me to get a hotel and just leave in the morning. This was very good advice. Boy = smart. Well.. boy is many things in addition to smart, but smart comes in so handy when dealing with a cute but borderline hysterical girl.

At this moment, I wish I was back there.. right now. The hotel had waffles. Calls from boy help too.. but nothing can go wrong when you have waffles. Waffles make everything better.

Ok - really.. last time.. happy family time to all of you.. and um.. if you have a sec.. send help. Or some waffles.