April Fool's = Happy New Year To Me!

You know what today is?? My first anniversary of writing this little, pink blog! It's true! I can hardly believe it myself. It started out being my clean slate.. my fresh start from a rocky first part of 2005. I made it my New Year's, which I'm going to keep up and make my own tradition - just in case the standard New Year isn't shiny enough for me, and in most cases, it isn't. This year started out rather the same way as the last few and you know.. it's time to feel new again.. thus I give you spring! Have y'all noticed that it's spring in Seattle? Ok.. um.. it's spring everywhere.. I suppose.. but for those of you who aren't here.. TA DA! Spring is! And also - YAY!

It makes such a difference for most of us in the northwest who require light therapy in the dreary wintery months to have SUN! It's been shining, and tho still chilly, it hasn't been raining for 45 THOUSAND days straight and we all, and by we I mean me cuz that is who I'm writing about, smile more and there's just a general lovely feeling going around. Plus a good amount of time has passed between the beginning of the year - that part that sort of really sucked and was composed of all kinds of sad and self-pitying over my fragile little heart and maybe the cute boy.. but hey.. nevermind that now.. cuz.. LOOK! SPRING! And, like waffles, spring can make everything better. Yes, waffles. You heard me. Shut up.

But I feel lighter. Maybe even slightly hot-air-balloonish lighter cuz happy seems to be coming easier and who doesn't like happy? Oy.. I know.. it's taken about three months to get that petite little ticker of mine to heal over, but I just feel what I feel and I don't rush myself.. or go postal.. so be grateful people cuz my personality could easily lend itself to that sort of thing. And tho difficult, I knew the letting go would eventually have to happen. I mean it kinda helped that boy stopped any drunk dialing he was doing in the wee hours on the weekends.. (in his defense, it was only twice and he called himself on it by the end of the second call actually.. so don't be too harsh), but I wasn't any better thinking I could handle hearing about who he'd been dating.. err.. other things ending in -ing. I had this theory that seeing his very obvious moving on would help me close the door more completely. Um.. yeah.. just to let you know.. in practice.. that's a bad theory. Don't feel the need to test it yourself, ok? I mean boy is special to me.. he knows this.. but I really do look forward to the day when we can care about each other and there's nothing complicated or wistful about that. And tho the theory didn't work out in every way I planned, that little ache afterwards didn't last as long either.. so hope and I are hanging out again, you know, just coffee, but still.. that's something to smile about..

Speaking of smiling.. for many reasons, but one of which might include dating.. there may be some of that happening in my world. It's still very early to tell anything at this moment.. but according to Léonie and what she knows of Americans from tv, my three different dates recently are just standard everyday fare:

So you see, I know that in Sex and The City people go on multiple dates all the time, and that it is not only normal but postively encouraged, but that is in America. In America people go out on dates with more than one person in a week and that is fine. The thing is, you see, I am not from America. Clapham is not America, even though it is similar because there is a McDonalds and you do sometimes see fat people*.

*Just a little joke. There are no fat people in Clapham.

Ha ha.. *ahem* no no.. the three dates a week isn't something I'm trying to pursue on a regular basis.. it just sort of.. happened that way.. chatty chatty here, let's do something there.. and before I knew it, any space I had between the visits with the mommy friend and my nieces, the really horrid horrid play Keith and Abby and Chloe and I saw, laundry.. oh and sleep just filled up. Accidentally. But.. um.. it was fun. Kinda.. I mean, as fun as small talk with a couple of wrong people can be.. and that's really all I should say about it for now other than it's nice to recognize the possibilities again, which I always knew existed.. it's just.. I know. That's all. Ahh.. it feels good to feel good.

Aaaaaaaand.. drumroll please.. well - fake it, ok? I've also got a BRAND NEW ROOMMATE! Whoo hoo!! *Applause* One who isn't 40 and overtly affectionate at inappropriate times.. or ALL the time as the case might've been. Let's meet Kyle, shall we? He's 25, doesn't really pay much attention to whether I'm cute at all or a three-headed troll, does the dishes, AND doesn't leave the seat up! Yes! He's normal! But for his age, he's pretty worldly, done some traveling, plays his guitar quite nicely, and seems kind of like a little brother. The Boy (now capitalized so you don't get him and the roommate confused being in the same paragraph) and some other friends really don't like the idea of me continuing to live with a guy - and tho I do appreciate their concern, they just need to trust me. It's going to be fine.. you know why? It just will. Are we all clear now kids? Sparky? Loren? Keith? Pixie? Ok, good. I just need to finish unpacking now. Ugh.

Since I finally seem to be taking a bit better care of myself all around, I also took steps towards figuring out why I've had this chronic ache in my hip for the last few years and which has only been getting worse. I've been slightly pigeon-toed since I was a kid.. something I'd been teased about growing up and of course, hated about myself, but the right people in my life have found it cute and endearing, if in a dorky way - and it'd be nice if that's all there was to it, but it does have detrimental effects as far as pain due to exercising over time. Do you think the doctors have any idea why exactly? Does the emphasis on 'any' assist you in coming up with a two-lettered answer?

We started with x-rays and the radiologist began my tiny bit of panic when he wrote down I might have 'hip dysplasia'. If you didn't know, this is something German and Australian shephards are prone to from too much overbreeding those types of mixes.. I'm sure I can look forward to strolling around in those fun doggy carts later in life.. can't you just see it now? 'Wrong growth' was also mentioned.. I love those warm, fuzzy and completely fucking vague diagnoses. My orthorpedist, Dr. Watts, didn't really agree with the radiologist - um... shouldn't they CONCUR or something?? NOT that he could tell ANYTHING from the x-rays, he also said. Um.. ooook.. Other than a slight inward turn on the right, my hips are actually not so out of whack.. yes, that was the technical term. Tho he did think maybe it was bursitis - inflammation of the bursa - don't ask me what that is. Do I look like I could even try? Please.. But since I had pain, regardless of whether he could actually tell what is wrong with me or not, he said we (I love their collective terms they use) could do a few things: an MRI or a bone scan - both of which sounded quite scary, not to mention might require lots of squinting when I opened any medical bills after - OR he could give me a cortizone shot in the hip.. and I thought, well, shots aren't so bad.. it's just a little pinch at first.. no big deal. So this is what I opted for thinking oh Mr. Doctor probably knows what he's talking about.. Mr. Doctor probably does this all day in his sleep and is probably right about many things very smart.. Mr. Doctor also put a FIVE INCH NEEDLE IN MY ASS AND OWWWWWWWWWWWOWOWOW!STOPSTOPSTOP! God!

Sooo.. THAT was fun. If it turns out to be bursitis, 'we'll do the other side.' Um.. yeah.. can't wait! Hold me back! In the meantime, I'm doing all this fun physical therapy - and I don't really mean fun.. I mean all these silly leg lifts and stretches and it's frickin hard actually, but I do think it's helping, maybe.. ok, I really don't know. Let's just pretend.

Then, as if that wasn't enough, and I'm sure it probably is, I'm trying to make a career change and looking into actual theatre jobs.. like a position in which my degree might be useful and not just for dust collecting. What a concept, right? I've had this nifty idea for a couple of years of trying to get into casting directing and recently I even went to lunch with a contact at the Seattle Rep to discuss it. What I learned is that I'd have to intern and before that, be offered the one of 12 internship positions over hundreds of others who apply, it doesn't pay well and the hours are the same ones I have now, meaning I couldn't do both jobs at once, and thus (did you notice I've used this twice so far just in this post?? Such an underused word!!), would be pretty impossible. And then, like a little light of hope to guide my way, Pixie unexpectedly sent along a little gem of a find this week - a very interesting possibility that's opened at the Intiman Theatre and they need someone like yesterday. It's not an internship and it does pay, tho theatres are non-profits so it could still be a crap-shoot, but I'm getting things organized so I can apply. The important thing I realized tho is even if I don't get it, there's more than just a couple of opportunities out there by which I could make a career. I just have to rub those two brain cells together that are fighting and frickin figure it out..

So that's the latest - besides seeing many a play recently - one tonight at the Rep with a cute date and one last night with friends that was so God-awful and I mean that literally as it was in a church.. tho honey, God could do nothing to save it, sadly.. but hey, there were cookies! And now I am off to work cuz I am THAT dedicated.. and THAT behind, more to the point, that suddenly now I work on weekends. *Sniff sniff* Don't cry for me Argentina.. I'll live.. a cute boy later and a sunny day feeling, even if it's fairly grey outside, are enough of a reminder of my sparkly new year ahead. Spring forward indeed..