This Ends With Cake..That's Not Bad, Is It?

So I have news.

Are you sitting down?

This is what my mother should've prefaced with when she told me she was getting remarried.. except I was sitting down. And I couldn't speak. Yes, shockingly, this is possible.. only a few times in my life, but yes, believe it.

You wanna know what else? She's known him for 6 weeks.. SIX WEEKS! If you count this last week I've been digesting her news, I guess 7. Um.. yes, whatever you're thinking, I've already asked her.. with exactly that tone you're asking it. And no, I haven't met him yet.. in fact, she's only mentioned him a few times. I don't even know his last name. I suddenly feel like this is probably how most parents feel when hearing this sort of information from their offspring - however, I'm betting there's usually a pregnancy involved (BITE YOUR TONGUE PEOPLE.. EW!) or a lot more time invested. I mean, we know nothing about him. He could be crazy.. or a serial killer.. or.. or.. a carnie!

But this remarrying thing.. I've never had to go thru it. My mother has only dated 2 people since my father died 6 years ago.. so I don't think she's rushed it and I certainly do want her to be happy.. but um, he still has to be my step-father when all is said and done. Not to mention he has children of his own - and voilà - instant step-siblings: two brothers and a sister. Ok.. so I have to admit.. that's.. intriguing as I've never had a sister. But since they're probably close to my age and have families of their own, are they really going to want to go out of their way to get to know me and forge a relationship? I mean, I know I'm feeling awfully hesitant about that.. and if they were all gung-ho about it, I'd be a little suspicious. So I guess if nothing else, maybe we'll all bond over the fact our parents are completely out of their minds. Eh.. a silver lining is a silver lining. I'm trying here..

In the meantime, there's.. um.. actual bonding over this situation with my actual brother. I know.. wierd. And we discussed my concern some other friend's have voiced when I told them this news. ''Do we think this guy is after Mom's money? I mean.. she doesn't really have a lot to get.. um.. does she? To which I expected my brother to simply echo my thinking.. And, if you know me at all, you also know how often I'm wrong. Wrong, wrong WRONG. Like in this instance. Granted, it's invested, but my mother, apparently, is doing just fine. A-lot-more-zeros-than-I-thought fine. Like.. so fine I wonder why she maybe keeps telling me to get my own place and when I answer that I can't afford to live without at least one roommate that maybe she doesn't sort of OFFER to help me. A little. Like.. AT ALL. Not that my mom isn't generous.. she really is - when she wants to be.. and not that I don't understand working for what you need and want.. but let me tell you something - whatever I know about budgeting and keeping myself out of debt has all been self-taught - by LOTS of trial and error.. and more error than anything. Besides that, she'd rather give me things that collect dust than cash any day.. what is with that?

So THEN.. already trying to fathom the my-mom-is-kinda-rich confusion I had, which was plenty to deal with, my brother tells me not to worry about Mom or her money. That he just knows it's going to be fine. You want to know why? Dad told him. My father.. you know.. the one who DIED 6 years ago?? Yeah.. THAT one. Obviously, I can see some of you are shocked.. understandably.. and some of you are just laughing cuz you think my brother is crazy. I, however, did not bat an eye - did not even flinch, no no.. I did not. Why, you ask? My brother is a bit eccentric.. oh and he's annoying, sure.. but crazy he is not.. The appearance of my father isn't even the point cuz my father has appeared to me before - but only once and in a dream about a month or so after his death, which is probably normal I would think when you lose one of your immediate family members. Without going into it too much, I woke up from the dream upset, but the room was.. tingling. I don't know how else to describe it. An energy had been there and I knew it was my father, but it dissipated very quickly. Still, it was so.. tangible. And I remembered this when Todd told me Dad had appeared to him recently AND that Dad has done this a few times.. wait.. A FEW TIMES?? WTF? What am I? Cut glass?? Like I said, it's not the fact I question he appeared.. but why he hasn't appeared to ME! Hi.. I'm sorta his daughter.. adopted yes, but that meant they really wanted me. Todd was an accident. HELLOOOO??!

Oy.. all joking aside, I wonder how other people handle something like this.. keeping the memory of your father, although a troubled individual, but still so lovable with all his imperfections, sacred and then trying to make new memories with someone who's to fill that void that's been vacant for a long time. Oh and incidentally, who will make your mother probably happier than she's ever been - as you've known her to be unhappy more than you've ever known her happy. Sad, yes, but true. It conflicted me that her first words about my new step-daddy-to-be were that he was completely different than my father. I know how she meant it, but still - ow. And then.. why did I feel hurt by that? This stuff.. wow - it's complicated! Let the psycho-analyzing begin.

But I know.. this is not about me. Yes, hi, let's stop being so self-absorbed, Angel.. I'm just saying.. this is a lot to take in and I'm trying. I'm going to be her maid of honor and that's pretty cool.. Thank God I get to help decide what I'm wearing, otherwise you'd never see pictures.. and that's still fairly unclear at this point. And no, do NOT suggest I go for the bouquet at my own mother's wedding.. that is not a silver lining people.. that's just.. creepy. But it is next month - oh please, like you thought they were going to wait to get married when he proposed at 6 weeks? Why do that?! Yeah.. now that spinning feeling you have? Multiply it by 10 and that's what I'm coming down from.

Wait.. we were focusing on the positives.. um.. it'll be fun! There'll be cake.. right? Yeah, cake is something to look forward to.. and champagne! God bless champagne! Yes.. of course, my mother's happiness.. blah blah blah.. but YAY! CAKE!