Did I say I hated moving? I think that was a misunderstanding. I love moving! LOVE it!! In fact, I love it SO much, I think I'll continue to do it for the rest of July! Yes I will! Just for fun even! Don't think I won't!
**Please note: All words above are written by yours truly who's gone completely delirious from lack of sleep, lack of respect, lack of power to do ANYTHING about the fact that yes, she will be moving AGAIN and BEFORE THIS MONTH IS OVER - actually, IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS!**
I'm crazy. I'm going insane. No really. It's a fun place. Certainly funner (yes I said 'funner' and yes I KNOW it's not grammatically correct - but do you really want to push a crazy person??! I didn't think so.) than real life where I am right now.
I'll try to be brief: New roommate, Sunny, oy - if he wasn't so damn cut and strong I would try to strangle him! Not that I could, being my weak-ass self..but I'm a scrapper - he'd at least have some serious bruises on his shins. But he LIED to the landlady.. LIED! Why do men insist on stretching the truth? It never works.. just be a friggin man already. And I talked to her cuz he kept whining too damn much - such a boy. She dug me, thought I was a quality gal without me having to convince her specifically - I gots skilz yo.. I tell you, she was impressed and tho frustrated with him, satisfied I wasn't playing games with her especially when I told her about my cat, Emma, whom, according to the lease, she DOESN'T ALLOW, not that I knew that, but she gracefully added her to my temp lease she sent later just cuz I'm so friggin great and honest AND she isn't some cold and heartless bitch who throws a girl out on her ass like uh, the day she moves in. *Sigh of relief that THAT is taken care of.. phew!*
NOW.. onto the other issues: The Sunny of said thoughts in my head having to do with strangulation blurts out last night that this oil heating costs so much now having to only split it amongst the three of us. After a bit of discussion, I'm educated, having never lived in a house with oil heating, that the lovely oil providers bill every single month for the oil-giving because apparently, it's FUCKING EXPENSIVE..so they, you know, break it out to make it reasonably affordable. Um.. $125 a month, even in oh SUMMER is what they call AFFORDABLE?! Helloo - will someone take the CRACK away from the skanky and mean scrooges of oil?!
That clinched it for me, besides the fact tho I like this house, there's no storage in the bathroom. Hell, there isn't even a BATHROOM COUNTER! Um, hi, we might've just met, but do I look like a girl who has no toiletries?! Exactly my point.. I need counter space people.. on which to put hair products, their lids, contacts, the toothbrush & paste, and for fucks sake, the hair dryer! Has anyone ever heard of a woman and her NEEDS?! JesusMary&Joseph..where am I?! In Bizarro World?!
The solution? Well, since I have no idea how to keep this brief like I said, I'll tell you. I'm moving again. I know you didn't believe me before cuz I was crazy when I started this.. seriously.. but it's true. On July 15th I will be going to another random place, this time, not so close to the last one - with new roommates I would like to say I have known forever and we're great friends and better roommates.. however, I met them when I went to see the house YESTERDAY and we got to talking, blah blah blah - and I realized today - ohmygod - I SO need to grow up, get a boyfriend who wants to have a life with me and we move in together and get a friggin condo so I DON'T HAVE TO KEEP DOING THIS AN-Y-MORE!!!!
But I'm doing it.. moving into this house with these girls and trying to find a fourth for the last room. This new place is quirky - pinkish on the outside with teal colored doors.. and in Madison Park of all places - like hey.. welcome to the upper class neighborhood everyone.. and then there's my house - the one they forgot to turn into a mansion or brick Tudor style, but stands stubbornly, like moi, cuz it's not 'new money' or 'old money' for that matter - just old.. still it's got a charm.
Did I mention it's COMPLETELY TRASHED on the inside? Oh yeah.. forgot that minor detail. The former tenants left so much crap it looks like they realized the cops were getting close and skipped town. Plus, wow.. people are pigs.
The good news - and yes, believe it or not, there's a small amount of good news - the property management company is taking care of all that. YAY! They're also ripping up the carpet in the halls and the living room and putting in..wait for it.. hardwoods, new linoleum in the kitchen, painting the kitchen and painting and carpeting the upstairs bedrooms!! We still have to convince them to put in new carpet in the downstairs rooms cuz the carpet is just tragic.. looks like the stuff underneath carpet, threadbare and bubbly.. just.. EW. And don't think I don't hear you thinking.. uh.. you're giving them money before any of this and you have NO IDEA how these changes, however cheap, will look. And you're right - tho remember, you are talking to a crazy person so .. you know, it should make some sense.. and the other rooms are painted really nicely - it could be really cute (crossing fingers, holding breath, and praying to God, Buddha, Zeus - whomever will listen)..
Ok, I'm simply hoping it all works out cuz when they're done financially raping me for the month - and that's everyone, both the new landlady and the newer new landlady - and I'm done moving for the 36th and a half time after picking up and putting down box after box and climbing stair after stair and my poor hands are done being dry and cracked from all the cleaning of every single sink, floor, and counter there is in the WORLD, and I've lost every friend I know cuz they're tired of being roped in to helping me do this shit to myself over and over and I then have to sign contracts in BLOOD to show I'd NEVER ask them to help me WITH ANYTHING again..it's going to be oh, September when I can AFFORD TO EAT again but it doesn't matter cuz I'm going to get myself the longest full body massage I've EVER had...and then collapse into a week-long nap. God, I can't fucking wait!
3 comments:
:( Poop. Moving sucks and with all that added drama, double-suck.
There's a nice 2 bedroom house directly across the street for me that's ready for someone to move in. Just a tiny tiny walk away from a Blockbuster.
That sucks Miss D. Glad you are moving away from the crazy lieing roomies tho. Bringing in trouble for the umpteenth time? No good. The newer place sounds promising if all can be upstanding citizen roomies...All thirty-somethings?
Oh.. I wish they were all 30-somethings...but they aren't. Actually, tho younger, they all seem super bright and just like good girls. I think we'll all be ok.. The house, btw, is looking fucking fantastic! I stopped by and the hardwoods are GORGEOUS! I think they even put in carpet in the downstairs rooms where they wouldn't budge on it before! Yay!
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