Meme

Pomgirl tagged me. I think it's an epidemic.. this 'meme' thing, which, by the way, am I the only one who doesn't know what the hell 'meme' means?? Apparently so. It's four letters.. FOUR. How hard could it be? But no.. I remain clueless and just do what everyone tells me like a mindless little sheep. Just like my mother always said, if everyone jumped off a bridge, I'd obviously need to do it too. But hey, I'd be cool then.

What were you doing 10 Years Ago?

Let's see.. I was 24 and it was my first year in Seattle. I lived in a house with 4 other people and my room was in the basement. The owner's son, the third one back in the cro-magnon evolutionary line of the human race, lived in the house with us. I lasted 6 months before me and another girl couldn't take his caveman behavior anymore and moved out together.

The only job experience I had was waiting on tables and working as a barista.. so the first job I landed here was slinging coffee in Wallingford at Nice Day Coffee. Already you can sense the irony, can't you?

It wasn't far from my house in Ballard, but was owned by this lying, cheating, cocaine-addicted narcissist who was related to the Paul Mitchell empire and sniffed all his daddy's money up his nose. After three days there I couldn't wait to quit - it was that bad. He went thru four managers in my 2-3 months there and only after my first few weeks, our banks started letting us know our $150 paychecks were bouncing. He said there was a 'misunderstanding' at his bank, accused us of stealing the deposits, but I finally just started cashing my paychecks at his bank immediately so I could then deposit them into mine.

The guy was sick - grossly overweight, talked with this ridiculously high voice, denied his own homosexuality as he was married, and oh yeah.. had the ugliest baby I'd ever seen. His power was in manipulation and fear. I once witnessed him threaten a sweet and passive 18-year-old when she simply wanted to talk to him about how he treated her. He actually told her he could make it so she 'never worked in this town again.' Riiiiiiight. We all hated him immensely. I watched many a big blow out between him and numerous quitting managers out in the street - it was the norm.

He 'fired' me the day after his wife came in with their frightening example of an offspring. He said she'd told him I was rude to her. Um.. hi, do you think I didn't know who she was? I was very nice and needed the job at the time, but that was his nature and she was obviously as coked up as he was most of the time.. I counted it a blessing that he actually did me that favor and not long after that, he drove the place into the ground, someone else MUCH nicer bought it and turned it into a cybercafe. *Shudder* So glad that's over.

5 Years Ago?

I was 29 and still reeling from the worst year of my life. 28 was my favorite age, but that February, my grandfather (my mom's step-dad) died of cancer with all of us surrounding him at home. If you've never seen your grandmother hysterically crying over the man she's loved for longer than you've been alive and telling him it's ok to let go, feel lucky. It was one of the toughest things I've ever witnessed, but I felt blessed to be there when my grandfather passed.

That May, one week after my father's 54th birthday, and the day after Mother's Day, my father died in his sleep. He'd been in remission from leukemia for 5 years, but over time, the harsh medicine and his condition had just worn his heart out. He was already on a list for a new liver, which I knew he'd never last long enough to receive.. and if I was actually wrong about that, I didn't think he'd survive the transplant or at least not the recovery that would require. Again I had to listen to my mother's hysterical voicemail before she actually reached me at work to tell me the news. It was pure torture.

Only one month later, still struggling to break free of this auto-pilot my body clicked on all on its own, my grandmother (my dad's mother), who'd been in a retirement facility and who barely recognized us anymore due to advanced Alzheimer's, finally died. I was happy for her cuz she just missed my grandfather so much who'd died years ago during my freshman year in college. She'd not been the same since anyway and she was only waiting to go in order to be with him again. The only negative part was the funeral, where, only one month prior, I'd seen all the same people who'd come to my father's funeral. Dad's side has a huge extended family and we knew most everyone in that small-town community so the church was packed both times, but the only people I remember even being able to relate to were my 14-year-old twin cousins. Ali, my boyfriend at the time who lived in Vancouver, BC was called a lot cuz he was the only person I felt could console me.

Ali and I broke up the next month in July - I don't remember the rest of the year very clearly after that. We'd been together close to 8 months and before him, I thought I'd never loved anyone so deeply. He was going thru his own crisis of trying to take care of himself and trying to support me emotionally while 3 hours away so visits only every other weekend became too much of a struggle. We didn't last more than a week without talking cuz we were still really close, but I mourned that relationship for two years before I finally let it go. Surprisingly, we're still really good friends after all this time.

1 Year Ago?

Recovering from yet another broken heart in January. Let's just say the first quarter of the last few years hasn't been my time.. I think it's mostly my fault in setting up false expectations that the new year will bring instant happiness, just add water. I was also struggling with a friendship I adored, but couldn't seem to find the balance in figuring out who we were to each other and because of a stupid secret someone else informed me of in a not so nice way, we stopped speaking to each other for about three months or so. During that time, we both did some discovering and after much discussion, made up. We've since become much closer friends and I'm really grateful for that. Unlike the boy at the time, she was much more vital to my life.

Five snacks you enjoy:

My Rockstar hummus (roasted red pepper and jalepeno)
Luna bars - peanut butter cookie, to be exact
Trader Joe's multigrain crackers
Granny Smith apples and peanut butter
Trader Joe's dark chocolate covered soy nuts

Five songs (you think) you know by heart:

The Devil Went Down to Georgia - Charlie Daniels Band (I grew up listening to country music since that's all my parents listened to.. and I still love this song.)
Criminal - Fiona Apple (You should hear me karaoke this one.. ooh. I rock!)
Shape of My Heart - Sting
Chain of Fools - Aretha Franklin
At Last - Etta James

Five things you would do with a LOT of money:

Pay off my family's and friend's debts
Travel the world
Buy a much better car - stay away from Fords people!
Buy a house
Put the rest in savings!!

Five things you would never wear:

A Britney Spears concert t-shirt
A muu-muu
Combat boots
Anything in support of George W. Bush
A tongue ring (ow!)

Five things I should never have worn:

Neon
A peach satin bridesmaid's dress (Pom - I wore one too!)
4 inch heels in the 7th grade (what was my mother thinking?)
Shaker sweaters
My Midsummer Night's Dream costume my junior year of college - ohmygod.. let's just say being fairies in painted bodysuits wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

Five things I enjoy doing:

Reading blogs, books
Hiking
Going to theatre and movies
Not working
Kissing (like who doesn't..?)

Five bad habits:

Procrastinating
Whining
Biting the skin around my nails
My occassional road rage
My lack of patience

Five people I would like to do this:

Kario
Doug
Adammmmmm
Treena (just do it ok? God.)
t

Vegas - for REAL this time! And you thought my other posts were long..

I feel awful I've made you, all my darling friends and my other 4 readers, wait with bated breath for MY Vegas story.. mainly cuz it's probably all going to be a complete exaggeration just to make it look better than it really was now. But you should keep in mind that this was a work function.. however, you probably don't work with the same type of people I do.

But let's get to it, shall we? Oh goody!

Friday: Loren and I headed to the airport extremely giddy as we coffee'd and scone'd ourselves in advance preparation for any possible airport complications we might've encuntered. One cannot deal appropriately with the stress of airport security measures, which, these days, equals practically stripping down to one's skivvies in front of 150 other strangers doing the same thing, if one is still in a sleepy daze.. no no.. the caffeine must be working thru the system by the time you have to arrange and rearrange proof of the existance of you along with 14 different boarding passes and id's and high school prom pictures or you're screwed. But it still should be obvious that the cutest gay boy ever and his bestest fag hag wouldn't be carrying any concealed bombs in their shoes.. please darling.. that was soooooo last year. We're a little more fashionable than that.

Then we get on the plane, fly fly fly.. la la la.. and no problems until:

*Voice over intercom* 'We're coming up on a little turbulance, so the fasten seatbelt sign has been turned back on. Please return to your seats.'

I really didn't think anything of this.. even with some of the shaking.. and it seemed.. oh, maybe a little.. excessive.. but I was the picture of 'calm'. Yes I was. And then.. we DROPPED. Like a fucking ROCK. For probably two excruciatingly scary seconds. Did we hear everyone go 'OH!'? Did I almost throw up that coffee and scone?! Did I FREAK the FUCK out??! Oh yeah.. all of the above and I can tell you Loren thought I was going to break his frickin hand I was holding it so hard.. I didn't open my eyes again til we were landing. And you KNOW I wasn't the only one freaking out cuz EVERYONE ON THE PLANE CLAPPED. In relief! So there! Pffft.

I felt ill for the next few hours but we were thrilled to be in Vegas finally. Then I got a call from one of my co-workers who'd arrived earlier telling me that the Ultimate Fighting Championship was being held at our hotel, which I didn't really get until she said they were all in the lobby and they were all hot. Suddenly now I was paying attention. Go figure. After Loren and I checked in, we saw a few ourselves.. and oooooooh my.. one in particular, niiiiiiice arms, very attractive.. and all I could think was, oh honey.. that pretty face of yours is going to be smashed in and broken tomorrow night! Tsk, tsk.. what a shame..

We checked out the room, which had a pretty fabulous view, tho attempts to take pictures of it at night did not fare well considering the flash prevented seeing anything but the backlight of the room itself. So I gave up that idea. Instead we decided to wander before dinner thru the New York, New York and the MGM. The MGM lions were very impressive and I took a bazillion pictures of them cuz even tho they looked at me like I could've been an appetizer, still.. CUTE!

Dinner was at the Pink Taco, the so-trashy-we're-hip name of the restaurant in the Hard Rock casino. And while waiting for our reservation with 20 minutes to kill, I won $20 on the quarter slots! Yahoo! Of course I lost $10 of that in the next two minutes and decided to cash out. I thought, hey.. gambling is easy! Well.. sorta.

At dinner, where most of my office was continuing the buzz they started on the plane, a bachelorette party (one of a kajillion I saw while in Vegas) sat outside in plain view of our table.. and, thusly, I give you what eventually led to, example A: which doesn't look so bad, but one second after this picture was taken of Kyle, our VP of sales, he buried his married face into the oh-so-buxom bosom of the girl with the shiny red bra. Yes. Lovely. And on their way out, the bride-to-be, who wore a becoming veil of chiffon with CONDOMS sewn in it - yes, all the rage in Milan this season I hear - addressed my side of the table saying they were composing an alphabet photo journal and they were on the letter 'D' . so guess what they needed a picture of.. oh c'mon, just guess already. There lacked any hesitation on our part in pointing Kyle's direction for the example they required - for which he obliged immediately followed by screams and oh's shouted from the opposite table. My co-worker did her best to shield her eyes, but I fear she may be scarred for life. However, in Kyle's defense, he's got some snazzy boxers. As boy so astutely observed when he accompanied me to my office Christmas party back in December, "You guys don't have an HR department, do you?"

I then proceeded to spill a large amount of food upon my pretty shirt. Why why WHY am I blessed with that particular skill, I ask you..? So Loren, and I, along with my co-worker, Darlene, and her daughter went back to the hotel - not thinking we would miss out on the ENTIRE rest of my company going to Crazy Horse Too for LAP DANCES! I mean what is a trip to Vegas without a lap dance people??! I think a very dull one, yes I do! Tho it did probably save me a thousand pictures of me with my face turning 80 shades of red in front of my co-workers so I'm a teensy bit grateful that didn't happen.. but that's all. LAP DANCES people! God!

After the lap dance extravaganza, the crew rejoined us back at the Hard Rock where there was quite the frustration as we tried to get into Body English, Hard Rock's nightclub, which, by the way, if you LOVE lines and cheesy long-haired soap opera looking guys with clipboards who promise you they'll 'be right with you', then GO MY CHILDREN, GO! But we are not those people and there was much irritation after promises of VIP-ness were not remembered.. and I watched my sales manager and her cute boyfriend convince them to let us in and um, hi, no, we aren't buying any bottles, let alone three.. whatever dude.. let us IN. And we got in, shockingly. But once inside, Loren and I looked at each other after only a few minutes hearing the worst hip-hop ever and seeing just how crowded it was, we thought, hmm.. yeah.. don't think so.. and we left to gamble instead.

Aaaaaand.. I learned to play craps!! I did! And I was winning! Well, cuz this guy next to me just told me to play what he was playing - but I was winning! MONEY! Like.. lots! Ok.. $10 at a time.. but still! I got to roll the dice and everything! For 10 minutes! They said that was a long time, ok? And I did my best to restrain myself from kissing them like they do in the movies - but there weren't any slow motion effects to go along with it so I thought, um.. no.. that would be so not worth getting some weird dice disease cuz I didn't know where those dice had been.. no no.. but I did learn something while winning lots of money.. which was not, to be clear, NOT how to keep it.. and um.. shortly thereafter, I was losing all said money won. No real shocker there.. I have better luck throwing $100 bill out the window people.. but I left with $30 and that was fine with me.

We tried to find another nightclub, but had a hard time admitting maybe we weren't going to find the music we particularly liked and certainly no where without a pretty steep cover. So since the city doesn't really sleep, we thought we'd better. 12:30am on our first night in Vegas = done. Yes, we're sissies.. just frickin say it already.

Saturday: Loren had a fabulous idea to head down to The Paris and have crepes for breakfast. On our way down to meet Jamie and her girlfriend who were coming with, this random drunk got in the elevator and on his way out asked us if we'd heard about the DEAD BODY that was found in the hallway on the 25th floor the day before... yeah.. just throws that out there - no pleasantries, no 'Have a good day'. No! Dead body is the first thing he can think of. Um, hi.. that would be a NO, we hadn't heard and oh yeah, thank you for ruining my appetite. But then of course he left and we were like.. oooh.. was CSI and homicide here and everything?? The answer was yes. Yes they were.. and crap! We missed it! There was some glory in being the first to spread the news around to the group and witness the shock - I know - sue me for that bit of morbid enjoyment. I'm evil.

We really got to exploring then. The four of us wandered down the strip, took pictures, walked by Elvis and dammit if I didn't get a picture of him - again, what is Vegas with no picture of Elvis?? I know.. my bad. But we saw our first-and-only-real-life showgirl in front of The Paris, got our crepes - which took FOREVER - ohmygod, Saturday morning in Vegas - DO avoid brunch if you can - and then wandered over to The Bellagio where we took the BEST PICTURES EVER IN THE HISTORY OF PICTURES in front of the Jesus Saves guy. We, of course, thought we were causing such a scene but I don't think the Jesus Saves guy was really paying close enough attention. I told Jamie and her girlfriend they were going to burn in Hell anyway - just for effect.

The Bellagio was beautiful.. and we took many pictures as you'll have to check out in the flickr badge cuz Blogger is being difficult.. but again, don't view them as a slideshow or you'll miss me being all kinds of funny and humorous and all things comedic in the comments. Yes you will!

We then hit the roller coaster at The New York, New York and all I can tell you is that thing fucking scared the crap out of me! It was great! It was fast! And I thought I was going to DIE! I mean, I LOVE roller coasters, don't get me wrong.. LOVE LOVE LOVE them. But the pictures didn't lie.. you know the ones they take during the ride while you're screaming your bloody guts out.. and oh yes, I look like the first anonymous girl about to be killed in any given horror movie - THAT scared. True story. Needless to say, we didn't need the pictures to remember the ride.

We were exhausted after that so we tried to nap, but Darlene found a t-shirt with my name on it that she wanted to give me (so sweet) so after I retrieved that, I had to switch elevators in the main lobby in order to get back to my room.. and on my way to my elevator, I felt someone quickly brush by me, someone I only saw a partial side view and mostly the back but noticed the Rolling Stones concert t-shirt on him.. and then I remembered they were at the MGM that night and it was about 5-ish, which made sense that it was probably sound check time and he was hurrying and I saw how thin he was and then the hair, greying, curly, pulled back with a headband and a glimpse of the wrinkly face and then.. OHMYGODWASTHATWASTHAT..? And I locked eyes with only two other guys in the whole crowd of people who were doing the same thing and once words came back to us there was much nodding and shock over having just witnessed the one and only Keith Richards in our midst. Ok, well.. maybe YOU'RE not impressed.. but I get star-struck easily.. and damn, that was fuckin cool. Tho I did think it a bit narcissistic he was wearing his own tour t-shirt..

We met up with the rest of the work crew for dinner at PF Chang's and dear God, drinks were coming slow. Even the CEO was ordering doubles with the rest of us - but Angel doesn't drink doubles.. except wow, they were really good.. so somewhere after dinner, as Loren and I left to kill a little time before the Cirque Du Soleil show, I think I realized I'd had about four of those double gin and tonics and became drunk. But hey, a fun drunk!

We took pretty pictures at The Wynn, but couldn't stay long and made our way back to The Bellagio for Cirque Du Soleil's 'O'. We were so fucking excited we could hardly contain ourselves.. but this is the only picture you get of that.. the ceiling.. cuz they have usher nazis and pictures of these pretty pretty people and all they do are NOT allowed.. I'm sad for you. But we were thoroughly wide-eyed and amazed at the whole experience, including when one of them, who was very very attractive and a perfect specimen of the human body, caught our eyes directly and then playfully splashed both me and Loren! Really! Like a couple of times! And we laughed and thought, oh you silly.. DO IT AGAIN!, but um.. we had to contain ourselves, unfortunately. The front row SO rocked by the way..

The rest of the night was fun, even if O was hard to top. There was some dancing til dawn, some looking really really good, thank you very much, and enough attention from strangers to last me thru to the trip home. Oh and sleep? I think Loren got 1 hour to my none.. but when fun is to be had.. what's sleep?! Eh.. not important..

Well.. until it was time to go.

Here's what the shuttle and all the waiting at the airport due to a delayed flight did to all of us: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH! Yes, be glad you weren't there. Me + Loren = whiney! Ok.. I was the 'whine' part and Loren was the 'y' part, if you want me to be fair.. but this is why we gave up on pictures too. We all looked exactly like we'd stayed up all night.. you know.. cuz we did. Hmm.. yeah.. not pretty.

But honestly, tho it was disappointing to see the Seattle city lights after a long and PAID FOR (yes, that wasn't anything to sneeze at) weekend of partying and know I had to get back to being regular, old me - still broken a bit, tentative - it was nice to leave the extreme stimuli of Vegas behind. For my first time, it didn't suck, that's for sure.. but that much fun people.. expensive! And I totally understand now why people say a couple of days in Vegas is all you need. There's only so much you can take.. well, unless you're Satan.. right?

But if you're just Miss Devylish - who's mostly, almost entirely made up of so many things angelic - Seattle will do. It's not lit up 24/7, we don't party every night, but we do have the best mac n' cheese in the country. And that's all that matters.

7 things - cuz this is STILL faster than writing about Vegas

I've been tagged.. by the cutester Texan. It's not MY fault people. I mean, when one has been tagged, one HAS to respond in kind and follow thru. Not to mention she did this days ago and I'm just catching up which makes me an awful friend of my favorite bloggers.. so I'm required to comply. Besides, this is much faster than the detailed novella I'm writing about Vegas and I will have to hone those brevity skills quickly and decide what is really important cuz goddamn I'm wordy.. as boy knows when he came over last week and I tried to simply tell him the story. About 30 minutes into it he said I needed to find the shorter version and wrap it up. Um.. ya think? Seriously, I have no impromptu editing skills when it comes to the spoken word. Sigh.. it's a process people.

SO.. without further ado:

Sevens

Seven Things to Do Before I Die:
1. Really travel - most of Europe, back to Norway, and Costa Rica to start
2. Stop biting my nails (I'm progressing!)
3. Learn to play the guitar - well
4. Pursue some aspect in film, theatre, or music as a profession
5. Become financially stable/comfortable or just win the lottery
6. Fall in love with the 'right' person in all degrees
7. Find my birth mother

Seven Things I Cannot Do:
1. Be any taller
2. Eat sushi
3. Roll my tongue
4. Become a Republican
5. Be less emotional
6. Love camping
7. Deny myself daily chocolate

Seven Things that Attract Me To Blogging:
1. It's my creative/emotional outlet and saves me from getting writer's cramp
2. I've got readers! And they've become friends! OMG.. it's insanely exciting!
3. I've learned many a new word - thank you dictionary.com and your thesaurus!
4. I'm way funnier here than I am in a journal
5. My favorite bloggers bring me into their worlds I would never know otherwise.
6. I discovered I have a talent for writing that's not too shabby
7. Mundane events become terribly noteworthy when exaggerated into the written word

Seven Things I Say Most Often:
1. Shut up! (the shocked/I don't believe you version)
2. Fuck, WTF, Motherfucker.. or something like that
3. Endearments - honey, sweets/sweetie, dear, baby, babe, sugar, love, tiger, and still Sparky sometimes for that particular person
4. Shocking/Color me shocked (sarcastic versions)
5. Love you (to most of my friends on a daily basis.. just in case)
6. If by ____, you mean ____ (complete exaggeration and nothing at all like the first ____) then yes, that's exactly it.
7. Rad (yes, we already had this discussion that I'm bringing this back, so shut it)

Seven Books I Love:
1. Catcher In The Rye - J.D. Salinger
2. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
3. James & The Giant Peach - Roald Dahl
4. Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal - Christopher Moore
5. Angela's Ashes - Frank McCourt
6. Like Water for Chocolate - Laura Esquivel
7. Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood - Rebecca Wells

Seven Movies/DVDs That I Watch Over and Over and Over Again:
1. The Breakfast Club
2. French Kiss
3. The Princess Bride
4. Chicago
5. Amelie
6. Closer
7. The Royal Tenenbaums

Seven celebs who I would be friends with
1. Ellen Pompeo
2. Reese Witherspoon
3. Adam Brody
4. Margaret Cho
5. Kiera Knightley
6. Natalie Portman
7. Ben Folds

Seven People I Want To Join In:
1. Pixie
2. Ironika
3. Mr. Bloggerific
4. Treena
5. T
6. Adammmmm
7. Doug

*** Pomgirl and Lady Miss you've already been tagged by our blonde conspirator or I would've tagged you..

**** And all the rest of y'all, go ahead, just cuz I didn't have the room to tag you, definitely.. feel tagged! Knock yourself out already... geez!

This isn't the real thing, but I promise it's coming!

Ok ok ok! I didn't fall off a cliff or anything and I know you're all just DYING right where you STAND of curiosity over what happened in Vegas.. and for the love of everything that's good and holy.. I'm working on it.. really and truly! Let me give you the break down of the last week tho:

Monday: Day off for Vegas recovery - no computer. You people KNOW I haven't yet found the Sugar Daddy store or the Free Computers and Free Money For Angel store so, you know.. issues there.

Tuesday thru Friday: Work work work, blah blah blah - fighting off cold attempting to attack my oh-so-innocent immune system and not doing a very good job of it.

Wednesday night: Saw boy for second time since break up in January and the evening went well actually - much LOST and Vegas catching up and positive feelings after.

Thursday: Um.. yeah.. screwed the positive feelings apparently.. could I have cried like 8 rivers? ALL. DAY. LONG?! Probably.. but this was also attributed to girly hormones and not just the company of the ex the prior evening.. honest! I mean, estrogen and progesterone are very powerful forces in a woman's body. We could be superheroes.. if crying during those cotton commercials saved the world from evil or something..

Friday: Better - also, cool banquet my friend Matt took me too and random university party after where I felt sorta old. Sniffles and general achyness finally took over.

Saturday: Again, no computer on weekends kids - and off I went to Woodinville to see my friend Kari and her darling family. Was tortured by cuteness of Erin and Lauren, ages 6 and 3 respectively, who begged, pleaded, and bribed with adorable dancing and acrobatic feats in order to get me to stay over night. I mean.. what's an auntie to do under such extreme circumstances? Deny them?! Oh right. YOU try it.

Sunday: After breakfast with the girls and leaving Erin in a puddle of tears (knowing full well this was my fault since she's clearly inherited her auntie's drama-queenness) upon my departure, there was much oohing and ahhing during the late-morning manicure had by me and Ironika B. I was then supposed to hit Bainbridge Island to see yet another niece I haven't yet met, but plans were changed and my schedule was revised to errands about town, then back to Ironika's for a little Pride and Prejudice which was actually very funny and don't let it fool you, a total chic flic.. and then right off to a drink with Keither, for brotherly mentor-ish career advice til late in the evening.

And hi.. we are then back to the work week where people are thinking of quitting (not me) and I have a doctor appointment for possible hip issues cuz I'm apparently 78 and not really 34, and there's another girlfriend in crisis.. I mean, if there was a way to create three of me minus the part where I talk so much, it could really be useful!

Hope you are all well and I'll catch up with you soon.. promise!

The Vegas experience

Well.. I really should just leave you with only this picture to say it all.. but that wouldn't be very nice, would it? Needless to say people.. I survived Vegas! But barely. I wish I had time to write it all out now, but a taste will have to do for the time being cuz even with the day off on Monday to recover, I'm not yet back in tip-top shape.. no sirree.. still much sleeping to be had and I'm wondering how I'm going to encompass the entire weekend into one post adequately! Oh the pressure! And um.. honestly, with all the drinking.. I'm wondering how I'm going to remember it all..

The pictures are uploaded on Flickr for your viewing pleasure my lovelies.. just to your right, one click away.. don't view them as a slideshow or you won't see my oh-so-funny descriptions.. cuz that's what it's all about.. me.. being witty. Yes it is. Shut up.

But I'll leave you with a few teasers:

1. First night - dead body in the hotel.. CSI and EVERYTHING!

2. Ulitmate Fighting Championship men were sort of ALL over.. and we saw them and their hotness and EVERYTHING!

3. I may have seen a Rolling Stone IN PERSON.

4. There may be a story of how I learned to play craps.. and maybe how I won.. and then later, lost.

5. The VP of my company.. that's vice president, thank you.. may have DROPPED HIS PANTS in the middle of dinner in front of oh, everyone AND a bachelorette party.

6. There was a very very fit half naked O acrobat who may have caught our eye and then *gasp* splashed us intentionally in a flirty fashion.. and we may have been totally fine with it.

7. We may have walked 42 THOUSAND miles and I wanted to rip off my own leg and chuck it in the pool at Mandalay.

8. We slept Friday night.. and that was all.

Oooooooh.. that's all you get for now! Ha ha! I promise you'll get a full report as soon as I'm once again a stable individual.. (and realizing what I just wrote.. keep your comments to yourselves..)

Mwah!

Countdown to VEGAS!!!

I'm so FRICKING excited!!! Good God you'd think I've never gone anywhere before.. oh wait.. well, Norway definitely counts.. Hawaii's not attached.. but Mexico and Canada are.. dammit.. Ok.. so I've really never been many places, and the last vacation I took was last June to Sonoma and San Fran, which reminds me not to wait so long between vacations!

But in like.. oh.. 12 hours plus.. um.. oh.. drat.. I don't do math people!! Let's just say really really soon I'M GOING TO BE IN VEGAS!

Ok.. delerium is setting in.. And also, I'm crazy. I've got a ton of shit to do before I get up at the crack of ass dawn.. and like 82 bags to pack .. so I'll miss you while I'm gone my lovelies! Be good!

YAYAYAYAY VEGAS!

Mardi Gras lite = less calories than the real thing! Well, not our way..

So Pixie and I went to have ourselves a little Mardi Gras fun on the hill last night.. and let me tell you, Seattle was having NONE of it. What a boring town we live in. We skipped downtown cuz I'm sure the extreme opposite of 4-people-in-this-bar is 18-frat-boys-trying-very-badly-to-hit-on-us and that was less than appetizing than our other options. Plus, Pixie is always fun to hang with and she even let me play in her dress up closet. If by closet you think I mean ENTIRE ROOM of wigs, belts, boas, and all types of slutty/burning man/goth/hip wear.. yes, that's exactly it.. ooh the choices!

After choosing a little blue number for the Miss D noggin, Pixie coaxed me to hurry up my dallying self so we could get going on the fun fun fun! And no, it didn't matter no one was out but us. There were chocolate martinis to be had, hummus plates and too much cheese to be eaten.. and we turned heads wherever we went, tho Pixie did remind me that that's not always a good thing.. however, girly-gras was a success.. as you can clearly see.

The little blue number is travling onto Vegas with me and Loren thanks to Pixie's generosity.. Clearly, NOW I'm ready.. Vegas baby, Vegas!