When Life Gives You Lemons.. Make It A Lulu

Ahh, what the joys of spontaneous travel to Portland with a couple of girlfriends sporting large cups of caffeine and questionable will power when waltzing into the glory that is lululemon will do for you..

Abby, Casandra and I decided to take a day trip to Portland. Mind you, half the day, of course, was made up of driving cuz tho it seems relatively nearby, The fair Rose City is still a good 2 - 2 1/2 hour drive from The Emerald City (you can't put those two terribly close together cuz green and red only work during Christmas people). No jauntyness about it, nothing quick.. no no no. But we gabbed and caught up and sang songs and voilà! We arrived - where much shopping excitement awaited us!

Oh and how it came and went so very quickly, as did our funds, within the first store, lululemon. This is due to the greatness of their athletic pants that Abby said she needed - she is a very striking, if not the best, yoga instructor, after all - and I'd been needing some new sweats myself.

After only a few minutes there, we focused in on these pants, called the groove pant, but I've since renamed them 'the best ass pants EVER' cuz when we saw our backsides clothed in these so-hot-they'll-burn-up-the-gym-pants in the mirror, we were all hot for ourselves. Seriously, guys? If your girl works out, spend the money ($84) and get her some of these.. you won't regret it. Mine are all black with a pale pink stripe just above the bum. Let me just say if I didn't before, I definitely put the 'ass' in assertive now. I almost can't stop looking at my own butt. I'm not kidding.. it rocks the hotness.

Quite exhausted and starving after so much staring at our gorgeous derrières, we galavanted over to the Hawthorne district, one of my favorite areas of Portland, after lunch, snacked again, window shopped further, and by 6-ish, caffeinated ourselves for the ride home, but made one more stop at this random junk-ish store called Pretty Good Stuff. Hats were tried on, bad jokes were made, Abby attempted her poor piano playing, but her dancing in the street and channeling of Mick Jagger were much better. Obviously, the sugar/caffeine combo and possibly the shopping delirium were getting to us, but that was the point. We headed back to Seattle shopped out, but happy.

Back home now, celebrating the Memorial Day holidayness by way of staying in my pajamas for as long as possible, I'll catch y'all up on the rest..

I wish I could say I stand before you corrected, but I can't.. cuz the only thing I really can tell you is that um.. I'm blonde. Suddenly. Well, blonder than I may ever have been in my life. And I don't think it's quite what I asked for or expected since I'm certain I went in to have my hair dyed and came out with it bleached. Sorry boys if you don't understand, but we, girls, know the difference. I'm still unclear how 'not my natural color, but just a bit warmer' actually meant 'oh I wish I could have hair the color of Jennifer Aniston's.' Hm. And you know what's worse? She explained that they didn't go to the root cuz they wanted it to look natural when it grew out and to prevent a definitive line. Um.. girls? If anyone tells you this, run, don't walk, out of the salon. It's a scam.

Now, we know I'm not the quickest one of us here.. yes we do.. but also, in my defense, her logic sort of made sense to me at the time.. AND the lighting at this particular downtown Seattle salon (which I will not name, but will tell you it does rhyme with PAIN and replace the P with a V) is a little strange so I couldn't really see it until I was home and worked with it the next day. So why, you ask, was I shocked when checking it out? Cuz I figured her logic meant........ ok, you know.. I really don't know what the hell she was talking about.. cuz looking at my hair it looks more like it was done a month ago.. not last Thursday.

But hey, I no longer look like Pat Benetar.. if that's the bright side.. Still, I took my newly blonder and still botched dye job'd self to a more reputable and highly recommended salon on Capital Hill and showed my soon-to-be saviorette how my hair was victimized. After her initial gasp - yes, she and the receptionist - she promised she could fix me. Two weeks from now. God, let's hope someone can. So kids, please learn from my mistakes. Don't wait to do things last minute when pictures that are supposed to last the rest of some people's lives, namely, your mother's, will be taken during her wedding and will be found in her house to haunt you for as long as you both shall live... Just sayin.

AND.. speaking of the BIG DAY.. are you dying to hear about it?! Oh please, no dying.. it wasn't all that or anything. My mom was very cute and slightly flustered and rushed and I think, actually nervous. It was sweet. I even lip glossed her cuz for some reason, when Mom asked me if she looked alright, the wicked step-sister decided to tell her just SECONDS before we all started the important walking down the aisle stuff that she needed lipstick. Um.. helllooo.. cow, thank you for completely ruining my mother's sense of calm she had just reached. She looked FINE.. but ok, she looked a tiiiny bit better with my lip gloss on her. It was a nice pale pink that goes with anything (seriously - it's by MAC and it's called Underage - refrain from the jokes boys - it's fab.). Still, that's not the point.. did I tell the W.S.S. that my aunt almost asked her when she was due cuz at first she thought she was 7 months pregnant? Nooo.. OR that her cleavage could barely be contained in the dress that just wasn't working for her? Nope. Did I want to? Ooooh yes. Very much. But I kept my mouth shut, let her dig her own grave with my family and truly, she did me proud. After two aunts (one who never says anything bad about anyone), a cousin, and my grandmother all said they didn't like her and would never go out of their way to spend time with her just based on her own control-freakish and rude words and actions that day, I knew avoiding her during the standard holiday visits in the future would be accepted appropriate behavior. Chalk that up on my list as something for me to be happy about Pomgirl!

And tho I wasn't happy with any pictures of me, here is a cute one with my adorable cousin, Mollie and one of my sister-in-law, Nadia, who's wearing the coolest vintage dress ever.

So here's to finding something that will make you happy - be it softball games in the pouring rain for Treena, the relief of that much, MUCH-awaited news of a job for LadyMiss (Yay!! And congrats!!), a weekend trip to San Fran for my sassy Pixie, the desperately needed mouse-eating magical pony for Léonie, happiness in a tablet for the spritely Pom, the bond between relatives created by despising the same person, or just a really expensive, but devylishly fetching pair of sweats.

It's all about the simple pleasures.. isn't it?

You Can Learn A Lot From Me, Besides How To Be Sarcastic

I give out a lot of advice.. mostly when I think it's going to be useful, tho I'm sure sometimes, it's unwanted - however, you should all listen when I give out this little tidbit - for free, mind you - as it will save you an ENORMOUS amount of grief. Oh no.. no thanks necessary.. your peace of mind is thanks enough. So here it is:

Never ever ever ever EVER EVER have your hair done at a salon you've NEVER been to TWO DAYS BEFORE you're to be the MAID OF HONOR in a WEDDING.. that happens to be your MOTHER'S.

Just saying.

No.. it didn't go well. The hair is a bit fried from the 'trim' that was much less an actual trim and more an ok-I-totally-know-exactly-what-you-want-except-I-won't-be-doing-anything-like-that -AT-ALL. And the dye/foil part? Well.. let's just say a picture of Pat Benetar from the 80's looks more like me at this very moment.. Yeah, it totally rocks.

Not.

There will be a 'correction' for free - and then there will be a sort of NO going back there. Tho I do have to say, they were very sweet and very nice.. nothing personal you know, but I just can't trust them with my hair, which is sort of the main reason you'd step into a salon.. but you know, maybe they're good at other things.. like abstract expressionism.. or the tuba.. but hair? Hm.. not so much. On some karmic level, I'm sure I deserved it. I did kill a nuclear-sized spider the night before. Spidey justice maybe.

Barring that, the drive down to Mom's was pleasant.. if not completely delayed. I meant to leave around 3 at the latest from Seattle. 5:15 was more exact.. and right in the middle of Friday rush hour. I don't know what happened, but every single frickin errand I had to run, somehow found me on the most jam-packed way there and back. Roads I never take, routes I never go.. and I was on them.. ALL.

And did I mention the night before I lost my debit card? Yeah.. right before you leave for an important trip out of town is the BEST night to do that. Especially right after the relaxing mani/pedi with your friend Ironika.. and then instantly, neither of you are relaxed cuz you pretty much ruined that part and um, also? She is much poorer due to the fact that she had to PAY for your sorry, stupid, absent-minded self. Only if I'd kicked her in the knee could that have been any better for her, I'm sure.

Anyway.. so there I was, FINALLY driving down to Oregon.. in the middle of no-where-radio-station-land and I find something and have a little realization, which I have to admit to y'all. You guys.. I like the Goo Goo Dolls. Ok, there. I said it. I do. Say what you will about them or their silly band name, but they're catchy. I LOVE that guy's voice.. I love that each single sort of moves me and I can say each time one of their songs comes on, I think of a specific person I was with, a moment I had with someone.. a memory. Something like that. Not the new one quite yet, however, I do like the lyrics and.. I just like them. Ok? Geez.. Anyway, I just had to get that out.

SO.. back to the farm.. la la la.. where I arrived safely and all that and then before I went bed, I thought, maybe I should try on those shoes I bought to go with the dress.. just in case. And you know what's coming right? You know that part in Cinderella where the ugly step-sisters are trying on the dainty glass slipper? Yup.. the shoes Didn't. Fucking. Fit. Tho I don't think they said it quite like that..

You know, I'm going to give y'all a bit more advice here:

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT buy shoes a 1/2 size smaller than you normally wear just because you think they fit in the store. Yes, they were snug.. Yes, of course, I thought they were fine.. but it was also cooler then.. and in SEATTLE, where it's COLD AND RAINY TEN MONTHS OUT OF THE YEAR. Not humid like it is in MiddleofNoWhere, Oregon.. where CORN GROWS and where feet will most likely swell in such weather.

People.. you are asking when I'll learn.. aren't you? Yes.. I know. Sigh..

I was sort of relieved to have to go shopping cuz then I didn't have to make nice all day with the new step-family and all their 3 foot offspring. Small talk gets tedious quickly when you know you're just going to have to do it again and go over exactly the same things in like, November, for Thanksgiving. Personally, I'm thankful there's at least a 6 month window between now and then.

But I did find shoes - at the last possible store (Salem is very small) cuz you wouldn't think silver strappy numbers were a near extinct species being right in the midst of prom season now, would you? You'd be wrong, of course. Just like I was. Yes, I can tell you're completely shocked. But tell me, when did black acutally return to being the new black?!

The problem lay in the fact that when one loses one's debit card, one has to withdraw an ASSLOAD of cash to pay for one's many errands from Friday to Saturday prior to one's mother getting remarried, including one's last-minute replacement of one's poor choice for maid-of-honor-dress shoes. Things added up very quickly and oh I ran thru $400 real fast. I was a frickin Mastercard commercial.. well, without the actual card.

$34 for oil change before 4 1/2 hour drive to mother's house for her wedding that you're in.
$5 for belated mother's day cards for both mother and grandmother who you'll see at mother's house before her wedding that you're in.
$115 + $25 tip for botched salon job that was to make you "pretty" for said mother's wedding that you're in.
$1 zillion for gas for 4 1/2 hour drive to mother's house in Bumfuck Egypt for mother's wedding that you're in.
$60 for new shoes, to replace previously purchased shoes that you thought fit but were actually too small, for your mother's wedding that you're in.

Having your mother tell you what her girlfriends gave her as gifts for her bridal shower:
Priceless.

Oh yeah.. wanna hear that conversation?

Me: Mom.. just so you know, I have to run into town tomorrow, first thing. I have to get new shoes. These don't fit.

Mom: Oh ok.. no problem. Oh.. you should've seen what the girls gave me for presents.. they're so dirty.. *giggles*... Edib *INTERRUPTED BY ME*

Me: MOM! GOD!

Mom: *giggling more now* No.. *giggle* no.. you have to hear..

Me: NO MOM! I'M NOT LISTENING! EW! NO! SHUT UP!

Mom: *completely laughing now* But.. you have to.. *almost in tears she's laughing so much*.. really..

Me: LALALALALA.. Um.. no. No I DON'T Mom! Go away now! Gross!! *shutting door and pushing her laughing ass out*

And people wonder why I have drama. Seriously..

That Which Doesn't Kill You Should Not Ruin A Good Manicure..

Ok.. who bawled their eyes out on Monday night over the season finale of Grey's Anatomy?? Come ON.. I know at least some of you had to.. I mean.. the dog died, the one guy died.. there was dying and soon-to-be dying and shootings that caused dying all over the place! And Chris O'Donnell looking very cute - I didn't cry over him or anything.. just admired the cuteness and daydreamed.......................

Oh.. um.. what was I saying?

Right, right.. Grey's.. Needless to say, it = good AND I even managed to get some decorating done. Just a little arranging and rearranging of my cute, little, humble abode and guys.. it's looking good! And, more importantly.. it's looking moved in! Yes! You should come over and see it! See that I can live without half-emptied boxes of things I don't know what to do with! I really can! Tho I'm not exactly done.. but I certainly made a dent. Pictures are hung and it's looking rather artsy and cool, if I do say so myself, thank you. It feels good to get settled.. to start making things happen for myself. In lots of ways.

There've been a few bumps in the road lately, but honestly, I feel stronger cuz I'm not allowing them to affect me negatively - or at least not for nearly as long as they have. I'm trying to listen better - paying attention to what my friends advise me.. cuz hi.. they sort of have my best interest at heart. They're good like that. So when two of them almost kicked my ass kindly suggested recently that it was time to sever ties with the boy, the ex one.. I knew they were right.

I'd come home late after a movie on Saturday and was still up puttering around at 1am when I received an unexpected text from him. He was drunk and doing his best I'm-cute impression trying to cover up the fact he drunk dialed at all cuz there was no direct booty calling in his message.. just checking in to see what I was up to. Trust me when I say he was over it the moment we broke up - if not before. I watched anything he ever felt for me fall right out of him while we were going thru it - yet, there he was trying to get my attention in the middle of the night. No.. I wasn't confused at all. So what did I do? Called him back. Yes, I found it a particulary brilliant move on my part..

The conversation was light, but he was scolded cuz he knew better, slurred words or not. He floundered a bit thru-out then the alcohol really took over and he said some pretty insensitive and stingy things.. and I thought, ok, let it go.. he's drunk and is clearly not aware what he's saying and how it affects me.. so the next awesome thing I did was overlook the obvious and asked if we should hang out the next day and chat (yes, brilliant move #2, thank you!). He then started in about the girl he's dating and how she was coming over and that she'd stay all thru the next day and then I started kicking my stupid self.. dumb dumb dumb, stop stop STOP. He heard the break in my voice when I told him that was enough. He realized what he'd done and apologized but I knew right then I'd reached my limit. I know.. you're asking why it took me that long. People.. I know.

I'd really hoped we could be friends.. Boy's a good person - I know this, but being friends is something he just isn't capable of yet and we both came to that same conclusion Monday during a much more sober conversation. Don't be too surpsied he took responsibility for his mistakes that have kept my wound open. We all have issues and he knows he has things to work on. He's got 'figure out how to be friends with girls, including those who are exes' on his list of things to learn. But maybe sometimes we're not meant to keep everyone we've loved in our lives. Maybe it's ok for some things to just be over.. for good. I really don't know. It was really hard for me, but I know it was the right decision.. and as for my list, there's a very fresh checkmark next to the item that says 'Move on'.

******************

Now, the next thing for me to tackle: Mom's wedding. So to prepare, pampering has been planned - the hair, the nails.. a little extra pushing it at the gym so that I feel bright and sparkly and I plan to be oh-so-nice even if the step-sister-monster talked her way into the damn wedding itself AND into being a bridesmaid.. WTF?! I guess if she has a neeeeeed to stand up for my mother, which is just frickin wierd if you ask me, fine. I'll smile ALL day and she can talk about God til the cows come home - cuz literally, they just might. We will be in Hickville, Oregon for this stand out event of the season after all.. I would not be surprised if a cow came right up to her and pooped on her shoe on its way home while she's spewing Godness.. and, if God had anything to do with it, one would.. but for the most part, I'm simply just going to be happy for Mom. Honest! Nothing else really matters and I know Dad would prefer it that way.

Speaking of Pops, May 7th was his birthday. He would've been 61. A week after his birthday 6 years ago, he died. I totally forgot both anniversaries. I was actually surprised at myself since he's been on my mind quite a bit due to Mom's pending nuptials, but still, it's not a bad thing. My dad loved us very much, but he was never a positive force. Yet, both my brother and I have felt since then he only wants us to be happy and what's stranger, is that with the shift of this new understanding and friendship with Mom, came a peace I've never felt before within my family. Our history is that of dysfunction, but maybe we've all reached the age where it's just too much work to keep up the bickering. I don't know how it happened, the switch that was flipped that makes everything just a tiny bit easier, that much smoother, but it's all I've ever wanted since I was a little kid - for us to be a happy family. Maybe it's cuz Mom has finally found that and ultimately, so has my father. I really don't remember many times I can clearly say both my parents felt that way at the same time. There was too much anger and resentment between them, but maybe it had to take all this for each of them to reach that point - which sounds morbid in my father's case - but seriously, I've never felt Fate in such the tangible way as I have recently.

When you notice the path clearing, like the planets have realigned in your favor... finally.. I say you should make a point to acknowledge it. So.. to Whomever is doing that for me.. thanks. You have no idea what a difference it makes..

******************

Soooo.. you know what else?? I had a really good first date last night.. and you know also?? I have another first date planned TONIGHT.. with someone completely different! Obviously. And um.. that's all. I think that's plenty of PYMotI's.. I don't want to become a PYMotI tart or anything, but kids, let me tell you.. it has been barren and uh helllooo.. it's sorta spring you know.. and I was all about wondering where the love has been y'all.. seriously. So I will be attending Mom's wedding stag, but we may actually have some new potentials on the horizon.. yes indeed..

Til next week my lovelies - when stories of accidental deaths by wedding cake for certain soon-to-be step-sisters may have to be told.. Mwahahaha.. I mean.. um.. mwah!

LOST, Dreams, And Lost Dreamy Dates. Yes, I Know.. You So Wish You Were Me!

Ok.. hi.. who the hell can sit still with what has happened on Lost???!! I don't see anyone talking about it.. and here I was, sitting here, not watching the one from last week cuz it was recorded on my oh-so-snazzy DVR gadgety thing and I'd heard it was so good and stuff happened.. STUFF PEOPLE! And I finally saw it last night! What the...??! No one TOLD me it was THAT good! Ok ok.. Loren did.. but I thought.. they've teased us left and right and left us with mysteries all over the place.. but noooooooooo! This one was revealing! They told us things! THINGS PEOPLE! I can't even go into it all it was so much! And I'm watching the new one RIGHT NOW (well.. not by the time you read this.. duh)!!

Phew!

Ok.. calming down.. breathe.. until, you know.. the commercials are over.

Other than that, yours truly has been quite the busy bee.. moving mountains, saving the world.. well, one little broken heart at a time. Have you noticed this? It's going around.. break ups all over the place.. hiding amidst frolicking pregnacies and engagements. It's weird. Is it a strange hiccup of spring? Spring should be happy and light, which = good! Not all dreary and grey, which = bad.. argh! But I'm hoping within the bad there can be found a fresh start and that this is an especially good thing in the long run for my friend who's having a hard time of it right now.. and I should also send an extra virtual squeeze to the one who narrowly escaped such finality.

On the brighter side, there was much celebrating at Wazhma's store, Retail Therapy, where she had her three year anniversary last Friday. If you haven't been in yet and you live here, you really have no excuse. She has all kinds of gifty girly things, not to mention it's where Pixie gets all her sexy undies.. Ooh!

AND speaking of our fair Pixie, she showed up to Wazhma's big event and inundated me with a lovely little piece of bling from the French Riviera (I have no idea if that is capitalized or not.. but we're going with my grammar gut) from her most recent trip to far off foreign countries.. like um.. France. Ooh and my bling is soooo pretty! It's better than regular bling.. it's like superbling! There must be a belated birthday gift I can come up with for my adventurous friend, but oh, I'm afraid it would lack the same kick as what she's already surprised me with.. but then again, maybe a sunny afternoon of catching up over lunch will do.

I did have a couple of early morning setbacks this weekeend.. vivid dreams on Saturday morning involving the ex and another friend, both in different scenarios, both having lied to me, and of course, the ex's being more painful and harder to shake once I awoke. Tho I knew each situation hadn't actually happened, the feelings of betrayal remained nonetheless. And I wondered what my subconscious was trying to work out or what it was trying to tell me - and about who. Myself? Random friends or strangers? The specific ones who occupied my dreams? Or do I just chalk it up to over-thinking and let them go (the dreams, that is.. tho probably parting with the people might help too - sigh..) ? Dreams with similar messages aren't something I usually have.. and I actually had three of them, but can't remember the third for some reason.. and still, I paid attention cuz.. well.. it felt like I should. They all circled around the same idea so there must be something I'm struggling with.. right? So.. um.. tune in NEXT episode when my personal writers frickin reveal it!

Overall tho, days are shiny, girl is fairly sparkly - if still in dire need of a foil and dye before Mom's upcoming nuptials - but hey, that's not bad. So maybe the dating options have become non-existent.. pffft.. whatever. The last one blew me off before we even officially met - yes he was one of those PYMotI's - People You Meet on the Internet (another something I've stolen blatantly, and probably badly at that, from our little English bird, Léonie (which, incidentally.. girl, I get a lot of good shit from you.. what is up with that??)). And you know.. it's fine. The choices aren't all that compelling anyway and if they were, they might try a bit harder or stick around a little longer.. or be a little less gay-er/duller/childish/obsessive.. you know.. some of those things just aren't appealing. I know.. call me crazy.

But hey, dating is way overrated. Trust those of us who are professionally single.. really, it is. And besides, I have lots of friends who need an ear, nieces who need entertaining (not tattoos or piercings as their mother might believe I would allow.. ahem..), and a stunning dress in which I must look fabulous very soon so some gym time will be clocked. Things to do people.. things to do!

But um.. hey, if you know anyone you might want to set me up with.. I could sure use a date to that wedding..

Meme-ry.. All Alone In The Bloglight..

Yes.. I'm retarded.. but I still came up with the idea of starting our own orignal meme.. whatever the hell that word means. And I've gathered some questions from a few of the blogger girls around the world - seriously, they are around the world you know - and then passed the torch so maybe they'll humor me in this very silly little game and post their answers too. They know who they are but they're all on my list of recommended reads.. Go find 'em!

If you, dear reader, would also like to take part.. knock yourself out.. not literally of course.. do be careful with yourself.

* Dislaimer: I do not pretend to have made up all these questions, nor to be responsible if they suck.. but um.. they don't.

THE NEW MEME

1. What is the dish you take to every potluck?
My homemade rockstar hummus.. cuz it rocks or the not so homemade but out-of-the-Knorr-box spinach dip that pretty much kicks ass.

2. Have you ever seen or felt a ghost, angel, spirit, or some sort of other-worldy being?
I feel like there are a few times I've seen strange little strings of light that were so bright I thought they were a glare from the window but they were in odd spots - like the glimmer of light off a single thread of a spider web.. I can't really explain it, but I felt they were not of this world.

I also had a very powerful dream of my father a month or so after he died where he told me to make sure Mom was happy and that I made myself happy. When I woke up, I knew he'd been in the room, somehow. His energy was just dissipating and the room was tingling.

3. Would you rather never workout again and be skinny forever or be able to work out whenever you wanted to and be a little overweight?
Um.. hi.. skinny forever.. and never work out.. that'd be rad!

4. What is the hardest thing you think you've experienced so far?
Death - physical or even the deaths of any relationship, friends and/or lovers.. The death of my good friend Nic at only 26. The deaths of my maternal grandfather, father, and paternal grandmother within 5 months of each other, followed by the break up of my boyfriend at the time and I the following month after that.

5. Do you like Snoopy or Woodstock better?
Hm.. this is tough. I think Snoopy cuz he's rather independent even if he needs Charlie Brown to feed him. And I played him in a musical my senior year in high school. So I'm sorta biased.

6. Can you talk and eat at the same time? And if so, can people understand you?
Yes I can.. I'm a talker. I've honed the skill of eating and talking at the same time.. but I think people can only understand me in relation to how long they've known me.. like learning a language, the more they've been around me, the more they understand what I'm saying when my mouth is full.... hm.. that came out wrong I think.

7. If you could be good at any profession, which would you choose and why?
I still would love to be a successful rockstar.. well, once I learn to magically play the guitar, I think that will happen for me. Just like that.

8. Would you rather be a Playboy bunny or a Hooters girl?
Playboy bunny by far.. they don't really have to work, do they?

9. Peanut butter – crunchy or smooth?
I like them both, but prefer smooth.

10. Bad boys, frat boys, intellectuals or dorks?
Dorks and bad boys.. never liked the fratty ones, tho they look cute til they start talking.. and tho I do like a good smarty pants.. the intellectuals often are a bit too pretentious for me.

11. Name 6 people, alive or dead, you'd like to invite to dinner.
Queen Elizabeth I, Tom Stoppard, William Shakespeare or the Duke of Oxford (cuz honestly, I think the Duke actually wrote all of Shakespeare.. but that's another question for later cuz you don't care do you?), Robin Williams, Katherine Hepburn, and Jon Stewart.

12. This is a two parter, and be truthful – when you are by yourself, do you get a 6 inch or a 12 inch sandwich from Subway? How about when you are with your friends?
Only Treena would come up with this one.. um.. 6 inch.. but now.. I'm assuming this is 'for realz' girl and not some.. um.. suggestive question.. How the hell can you eat a 12" sandwich? That's what we should be asking.

13. What was the worst thing one of your siblings ever did to you?
Todd punched me once.. I remember that.. all I know is I was always getting into trouble for not getting chores done when I always did my chores and he screwed around all day.. Spoiled brat he was.

14. Location of the best sex you've ever had?
With the most recent ex and anywhere we had it. Seriously.. that good.

15. Oddest place you've ever had sex?
A graveyard - um.. it was very dark, ok? Spontenaity people..

16. If you were super drunk, and REALLY had to pee, but all the toilets were being used, would you consider alternate receptacles, i.e. the mens, outside, a sink?
Done the men's room before.. but um.. other than that.. outside.. no sink action.. ew ew!

17. If you had to pick, classical or jazz?
Classical... probably Chopin or Mozart.. love it.

18. What's your favorite kind of pizza?
Vegetarian.. w/ pepperoni. Mmmmmmm!

19. Ever flirted with a friend's significant other?
Probably, but not in a way that anyone would think I was doing anything devious.. harmless.. I would never do that to a friend.

20. What was the blog site or blog post that began your interest in blogging? Please add the site name and link to specific post if possible for completely entertainment purposes.
Miss Doxie was the first ever blog I discovered cuz a friend sent me a link to her post about seeing The Graduate, starring Morgan Fairchild, on stage. I laughed so hard I thought I was going to fall out of my chair.. I've read just about everything she's ever written since and convinced most of my office and friends to do so as well. If you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend it.. That girl = funny.

21. Have you ever eaten a whole bag of Marshmallows?
Um.. no.. and ew!

22. Last time you drank so much that you had to throw up?
I think a couple of years ago.. a girlfriend and I went out to EMP with no intentions of drinking til we were sloshed.. had 3 drinks unbeknownst to us that the martinis were always served as doubles.. Oy.. accidental hangover for Miss D.

23. Do you have a stupid human trick you can do if you ever get on Dave Letterman? And do tell, if so!
I'm pigeon-toed enough that I can sit on my knees, turn out my legs to the side with the toes completely pointed in and then can bring my legs all the way in til my toes touch. It grosses everyone out and looks like my legs are broken. Hee!

24. Describe your perfect day.
Let's see.. I'm in the south of France with the person I love, just after a lazy morning, having petite déjeuner under a gorgeous sky with friends and family on their way. Oh and I've just become independently wealthy and quit my job.

25. Do you think the concept of a single best friend is outdated and unrealistic?
Single? Probably outgrown more than outdated.. I have varying degrees of best in my friends, but they all know how much they mean to me.

26. What about the idea of one true love?
I do believe in that - however, I don't think we're limited to loving only one person throughout our lives and sometimes, I don't think we're meant to be with one person forever.. I'd like to believe that's the case, but I also haven't found that person for me either. One day.

27. One of your favorite memories of all time?
When I turned 21, I was in college and living in Ashland. My closest friends and roommates at the time, Stephanie, Nic, and Keith were there.. and I believe a couple of others. Nic, who'd been a lover for a short time prior to us being roommates, and I had always had a strong connection since we'd met but we'd also had the uncanny ability to completely irritate the other any time one of us wanted. But that night, he suggested to the group that we play a game. They would go around the circle and let everyone know what their favorite thing about me was and the only catch was that I had to sit there, unable to say anything, and listen. I was so overwhelmed with how much he cared, I must've turned 7 shades of red. However, I can't, to this day, remember what his favorite thing was.. or anyone's for that matter. It was really the idea behind the game that mattered the most and I felt so special and loved. I'll never forget it.

28. What is your least favorite physical feature about yourself?
The fact I'm slightly pigeon-toed and it affects the way I walk. I hate it.

29. What's your most favorite?
Hm.. tie between my eyes and my smile.

30. If you had one wish for making the world a better place, what would it be?
That we could all agree that it's ok if we think differently and then the anger between people and countries would subside into a peaceful happiness where we could all co-exist at the same time.

31. What traits, good and bad, from your family do you posses?
Being adopted.. I have to guess a little, tho some are definitely behavioral and learned from my current family:
Good: Happy, energetic, kinda smart, thoughtful, empathetic and compassionate, and super soft skin
Bad: Procrastinator, negative at times, lazy at others, whiny, impatient, and short to name a few.

32. When was the last time you played a board game, which one, and with whom?
I think it was about a month ago with my friend Matt - we played cribbage at 611 Supreme. He tried to get me back for the last time we played on St. Patrick's Day at the Pacific Inn where I literally creamed him.. it was awesome. And, for the record, he did beat me this last time, but not like the creaming I gave him.. aw yeah.

33. Name some person/place/thing currently that infuriates you.
The current president of America.. grrrrr!

34. Name some person/place/thing currently that makes you happy, deliriously or otherwise.
This gorgeous weather and feeling lighter than I have in the last 3-4 months.

35. Ever been in a car accident? If so, how many and spill the details.
Oy.. a few.. Mostly fender benders when I was younger.. and one here when I was texting while driving. Dumb! The last one was worse tho, about 5 years ago now when I turned too sharply in an exit and lost control of my car, swerving so much I couldn't regain control. I gave up and slammed sharply into the barrier and promptly freaked the fuck out. Within 5 minutes, I couldn't lift my head cuz I had some lovely whiplash.. but nothing that muscle relaxants and ibuprofen couldn't address. Course, nothing could save the car. It was totalled.

36. What's your favorite word?
Solace

We Now Return To Our Regularly Scheduled Program..

Hi! I'm back!

Um.. don't know who that person was who wrote that last post while I was 'gone'.. but um.. I'm really sorry I let her take over! It wasn't me... well, not the real me.. I don't think. It doesn't count being from me when I felt so manic and bi-polar and insane and oh.. maybe un-lucid. Basically your typical, every-word-you-can-think-of-for-crazy type feeling has been running thru my psyche.

And tho I think I said I had no idea why it was all happening, I kinda did.. sorta.. which I didn't explain and really will try to be brief about cuz I think it was due to some nice little bitesize help-is-on-the-way's that look just like little breath mints but are way less funner since instead of keeping away bad breath, they're a little more powerful at keeping an 'oops' from turning into a much smaller version of me or my ex.. and we said 'oops' a couple of times in our few months together. That's just something you really shouldn't have to say much.. if at all.. really.

And while these adult tic-tacs are a lifesaver in more ways than one, in my experience of taking them one other time a few years back, they can come back to haunt your hormones just when you're headed into your standard, girly pms. And what should've been just a normal bit of crabby or just a little bit of extra sensitive during those commercials for cotton or Kleenex, turned into an unrelenting Hurricane Katrina! Right there! In my little body! It did! There were witnesses!

But hey.. look! I'm better!

Well.. I'm still me.. which is to say, you know.. dramatic, if nothing else.. but, normal dramatic is way different from crazy. Way.

And I must say, being happy for like FIVE DAYS STRAIGHT is really a good thing. I fully recommend it. I enjoyed the weekend, went to Volunteer Park and saw Keith's very funny version of Hamlet he directed for the talented kids at Cornish, went to Fatima's baby shower - where, incidentally, so many other attendees were in various stages of pregnancy you might think children were the thing to have or something, bought shoes for the awesome dress I'm wearing in Mom's wedding, treated myself to a mani/pedi pick-me-up, cleaned house.. I mean.. it was a nice change from the last two weeks of out-of-no-where depression and all the crying.. you think?

I went for a really great walk last night in my neighborhood. It was one of the more beautiful Sundays, but maybe it was just cuz I felt good and was looking forward to getting out and breathing in the last evening of April. I smelled the air, admired the houses, paid attention to my walk, my breathing, and did my best to process the last few weeks into something that made sense. I still don't know how I got in that awful place of confusion and sadness, but I'm determined not to go back there again. It's amazing what we take for granted when just living day after day, like.. um.. sanity, for example. And I know my hormones can get the best of me once in a while, but I'd never imagined myself sad most of the time. It just wasn't me.

But for the entire walk, I was just happy. I felt really hopeful that boy and I will eventually get to a good place where we can be friends, I felt grateful to have him and my other friends to offer their strengths when I need support and I haven't freaked them all out, I'm genuinely thrilled for Mom knowing she has a partner in life again and rather excited about this new friendship she's starting with me even if I'm not completely holding my breath yet.. I mean it's such a relief to feel the positive energy I knew was there but had been struggling to come back to me since the beginning of this year..

Ahh.. I love spring just for that reason. It's rejuvenating. And honestly, it's about goddamn time.