That Which Doesn't Kill You Should Not Ruin A Good Manicure..

Ok.. who bawled their eyes out on Monday night over the season finale of Grey's Anatomy?? Come ON.. I know at least some of you had to.. I mean.. the dog died, the one guy died.. there was dying and soon-to-be dying and shootings that caused dying all over the place! And Chris O'Donnell looking very cute - I didn't cry over him or anything.. just admired the cuteness and daydreamed.......................

Oh.. um.. what was I saying?

Right, right.. Grey's.. Needless to say, it = good AND I even managed to get some decorating done. Just a little arranging and rearranging of my cute, little, humble abode and guys.. it's looking good! And, more importantly.. it's looking moved in! Yes! You should come over and see it! See that I can live without half-emptied boxes of things I don't know what to do with! I really can! Tho I'm not exactly done.. but I certainly made a dent. Pictures are hung and it's looking rather artsy and cool, if I do say so myself, thank you. It feels good to get settled.. to start making things happen for myself. In lots of ways.

There've been a few bumps in the road lately, but honestly, I feel stronger cuz I'm not allowing them to affect me negatively - or at least not for nearly as long as they have. I'm trying to listen better - paying attention to what my friends advise me.. cuz hi.. they sort of have my best interest at heart. They're good like that. So when two of them almost kicked my ass kindly suggested recently that it was time to sever ties with the boy, the ex one.. I knew they were right.

I'd come home late after a movie on Saturday and was still up puttering around at 1am when I received an unexpected text from him. He was drunk and doing his best I'm-cute impression trying to cover up the fact he drunk dialed at all cuz there was no direct booty calling in his message.. just checking in to see what I was up to. Trust me when I say he was over it the moment we broke up - if not before. I watched anything he ever felt for me fall right out of him while we were going thru it - yet, there he was trying to get my attention in the middle of the night. No.. I wasn't confused at all. So what did I do? Called him back. Yes, I found it a particulary brilliant move on my part..

The conversation was light, but he was scolded cuz he knew better, slurred words or not. He floundered a bit thru-out then the alcohol really took over and he said some pretty insensitive and stingy things.. and I thought, ok, let it go.. he's drunk and is clearly not aware what he's saying and how it affects me.. so the next awesome thing I did was overlook the obvious and asked if we should hang out the next day and chat (yes, brilliant move #2, thank you!). He then started in about the girl he's dating and how she was coming over and that she'd stay all thru the next day and then I started kicking my stupid self.. dumb dumb dumb, stop stop STOP. He heard the break in my voice when I told him that was enough. He realized what he'd done and apologized but I knew right then I'd reached my limit. I know.. you're asking why it took me that long. People.. I know.

I'd really hoped we could be friends.. Boy's a good person - I know this, but being friends is something he just isn't capable of yet and we both came to that same conclusion Monday during a much more sober conversation. Don't be too surpsied he took responsibility for his mistakes that have kept my wound open. We all have issues and he knows he has things to work on. He's got 'figure out how to be friends with girls, including those who are exes' on his list of things to learn. But maybe sometimes we're not meant to keep everyone we've loved in our lives. Maybe it's ok for some things to just be over.. for good. I really don't know. It was really hard for me, but I know it was the right decision.. and as for my list, there's a very fresh checkmark next to the item that says 'Move on'.

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Now, the next thing for me to tackle: Mom's wedding. So to prepare, pampering has been planned - the hair, the nails.. a little extra pushing it at the gym so that I feel bright and sparkly and I plan to be oh-so-nice even if the step-sister-monster talked her way into the damn wedding itself AND into being a bridesmaid.. WTF?! I guess if she has a neeeeeed to stand up for my mother, which is just frickin wierd if you ask me, fine. I'll smile ALL day and she can talk about God til the cows come home - cuz literally, they just might. We will be in Hickville, Oregon for this stand out event of the season after all.. I would not be surprised if a cow came right up to her and pooped on her shoe on its way home while she's spewing Godness.. and, if God had anything to do with it, one would.. but for the most part, I'm simply just going to be happy for Mom. Honest! Nothing else really matters and I know Dad would prefer it that way.

Speaking of Pops, May 7th was his birthday. He would've been 61. A week after his birthday 6 years ago, he died. I totally forgot both anniversaries. I was actually surprised at myself since he's been on my mind quite a bit due to Mom's pending nuptials, but still, it's not a bad thing. My dad loved us very much, but he was never a positive force. Yet, both my brother and I have felt since then he only wants us to be happy and what's stranger, is that with the shift of this new understanding and friendship with Mom, came a peace I've never felt before within my family. Our history is that of dysfunction, but maybe we've all reached the age where it's just too much work to keep up the bickering. I don't know how it happened, the switch that was flipped that makes everything just a tiny bit easier, that much smoother, but it's all I've ever wanted since I was a little kid - for us to be a happy family. Maybe it's cuz Mom has finally found that and ultimately, so has my father. I really don't remember many times I can clearly say both my parents felt that way at the same time. There was too much anger and resentment between them, but maybe it had to take all this for each of them to reach that point - which sounds morbid in my father's case - but seriously, I've never felt Fate in such the tangible way as I have recently.

When you notice the path clearing, like the planets have realigned in your favor... finally.. I say you should make a point to acknowledge it. So.. to Whomever is doing that for me.. thanks. You have no idea what a difference it makes..

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Soooo.. you know what else?? I had a really good first date last night.. and you know also?? I have another first date planned TONIGHT.. with someone completely different! Obviously. And um.. that's all. I think that's plenty of PYMotI's.. I don't want to become a PYMotI tart or anything, but kids, let me tell you.. it has been barren and uh helllooo.. it's sorta spring you know.. and I was all about wondering where the love has been y'all.. seriously. So I will be attending Mom's wedding stag, but we may actually have some new potentials on the horizon.. yes indeed..

Til next week my lovelies - when stories of accidental deaths by wedding cake for certain soon-to-be step-sisters may have to be told.. Mwahahaha.. I mean.. um.. mwah!