Oh The Places We Will Go!

I'm in the eve of my Friday that's really Thursday and who doesn't love that?? Things are not winding down, but up. It's already been a busy week filled with some good friends, a lot of laughing and unfortunately, a bit of struggle with the day job and men - two things I wish would fall into place at some point, but continue to hang like a dangling carrot and I'm the eager little bunny who gives chase.

Yeah, um.. let me just say.. bunny's ass ain't in shape for that much chasing, ok?

Well let's start off with something positive. That hair that was SO blonde on my head? Got that fixed last week. It's a lovely red brown. RED BROWN! OHMYGOD! That's what I'm supposed to ask for??! *DING DING DING* Idiot. I've been thinking the color I want has no words.. I even resorted to 'You know.. like the color of bark dust.. that dark red, but not really red red? And not dark brown, you know?' Cuz um.. NO, they don't. Just for the record. How simple would it have been to say red brown?? I'll tell you.. pretty damn simple people.

Sometimes I have two brain cells.. and they're fighting.

Anyway, it's a much better color for my skin tone which = pretty girl and I like that. The pieces that the former butcher destroyed have been trimmed to grow out better which = still too short, but it's cute and my hope in cosmotologists around the globe has been restored. Mostly. Til next month, I'm sure.

Now are you just dying to hear about the dates? Well, you can safely not do that please cuz they weren't all that.

I will start and say I met a lovely young man - emphasis on 'young' as he is only 25. Genuine, very sweet, wants something longterm and would be serious.. if I was into him. I do like him.. not drawn like one should be to constitute 'into'.. but cool nonetheless and we'll be friends.

The other.. well, he was attractive, fun.. but there was no friggin connection. And not cuz I wasn't trying. I was like a moth flitting around a friggin lamppost and expecting it to flit back. Yeah.. no flitting and nothing real there.. tho he spent like 4 hours with me.. it was.. odd. I think he was just out to say he was dating and then four days later after my initial 'Thanks for the night, what's up' sort of email.. I got the 'You're great, but we're not a match' reply. Yeah, honey.. sorta got that (and uh yeah.. that's why I emailed.. duh). We were so far from being a match, fire hadn't even been invented yet. That's how so not a match we were. Just to be clear. In case you were still wondering.

I think one of my brain cells has won the fight and put the other in a coma.

But the end of the weekend came and after a significant amount of quality girl-time with the Pixie discussing our slips, foibles, and idiosyncracies regarding men, work, life in general, and all the hurdles we can't seem to get over, there might've been one cute bartender/singer who got my attention.. and my email by mentioning he'd relay his music updates and then has not been so forthcoming as easily as I thought. I think I confused him by directing the chat to Pixie and possibly laughing too much like an idiot at everything that he said. Yeah.. awesome.

But you know where the lack of brain cells came in handy? When it was time for Pixie and I to be entertained properly. Who needs brain cells to laugh? Exactly!

We went to see one of my dearest friends, Keith, in a very funny variety show at the Theatre Off Jackson benefitting this great organization called Clowns Without Borders and the two women who were joining up with this group next year to tour India with their other clowny-type friends. This included, but was not limited to, live acts with British accents where hilarity ensued, tap dance, masked people singing silly songs, funny storytelling, more hilarity sans accents, a raffle and a very exciting live auction of original paintings created during the show by this group of which I forget the name (argh!), but were frickin amazing! And then way more hilarity as the auctioning crescendoed for said art pieces to the point the bidders were actually removing their clothes! Oh it was worth the price of admission just for that! As our bidders kept warring and the price for the last painting increased, we saw a foot raised instead of a hand, then a backside was acknowledged, then a shirt removed, and then her shirt and an ohIdidn'twanttoseethat, and then he removed his friend's shirt and I forget what she did next and then he took off his PANTS and THEN .. so did SHE! And the ENTIRE audience was howling! Pixie and I thought we were going to cry, fall over AND pee our pants, which, to our delight, we kept on, thank you.

Ohhhh... dear.. and then we were exhausted, but smiling cuz you know.. it was a pretty great time. Seriously, the hanging-out-with-me calendar is filling up fast.. you people better get in line.

Well, I'm off for the rest of the long weekend. The married girls from my high school days, all their darling offspring - to which I'm the Best. Auntie. Ever - and I are spending most of the next few days catching up, eating our weight in good food, and remembering what it's like to have friends who've known you for literally 20 years (We'll make sure to toast to you Treena!). Topped with an Indigo Girls concert at the zoo, a coffee/thrifting date with Pixie and fireworks??? Who needs men?? Ok ok.. don't answer that.. we'll get back to that next week.

Happy 4th of July everyone! Hope you find your own 'fireworks' this weekend! Mwah!

The Summer Glow

Today feels like summer to me. It's arrived early for Seattle. We really only have two seasons.. winter and August.. with the official day of summer starting the 5th of July. Those aren't fireworks, they're a scare tactic to let the sun know if it doesn't start showing its face, well.. something big is going to happen. Yes indeedy.. we mean business.

The short skirts are out in droves, dusted off and awoken from their wintery, closeted sleep and oh how they shift back and forth on their owners in a flippy little dance daring anyone who stares to come just a bit closer..

This is the plan anyway.. the game of allure. Show a little skin, a few more freckles from lazing in the summer day, add a spry skirt and a sassy blouse or tank.. top it with a smile and a flirty glance.. and girl, you are golden.

The gym has seen much more of me as of late for this reason and it's paying off from what I can tell in how my clothes fit. I love that. I found the gym is easier to hit during the work day once I finally realized even a shorter workout is better than not going at all and surprisingly, everything is just lighter. The endorphins work a number on my spirits and every call, every co-worker, and every issue once I return, damp and glowy from my feats of strength with a few free weights and the agony of 43 thousand lunges, seems like such a breeze to handle. I'm calmer, quieter - which is saying a lot - I think clearer and I'm more productive. Overall, it doesn't suck. And I need this cuz things aren't going so well at the office.

I've written about my bad habit before and how it gets me into trouble. I'm certainly an assertive girl, but I can get pushy and aggressive very quickly without thinking. I say what's on my mind and sometimes without editing silently first - I'm learning on that one, but I feel it's my job to be somewhat of a bulldog at work, tho I have yet to recognize where the line is that borders Friendly, Happy, But Gets The Job Done and Hard To Deal With Bitch Who No One Will Work With .. and then when I cross it - even just a little cuz I think I'm right, which ultimately doesn't matter in the least - I still pull back too late and inevitably, the boss will pull me into his office and tell me to shut the door. Sigh.. nothing is worse than feeling like you're walking on glass all day long, that your incredible work ethic (yes, it is very good, thank you) is the only thing that has kept you your job and the fact that if they lost you, they'd be in a very sore spot. Not to mention, you'd be everyone's favorite IF you could find that button that controls your tone that rubs people the wrong way and TURN. IT. OFF. Um.. please? Someone? Anyone? Is this thing on?

But I'm trying to be more positive in general and as I said, the gym helps, the sunny brilliance of this Seattle summer is a lovely beginning, and overall, I'm healed from my winter romance - finally. I don't think of him nearly as much and when I do, it's no longer painful. We're both doing fine without the other and maybe one day we'll have figured out who is good for us and what we really want and how we can be friends (and Sparky - I hope your trip is amazing).

And with all that good energy I'm mustering, I can't say I would mind a bit more attention of that boy nature. I do have a date tonight and one tomorrow.. and had another earlier in the week. I'm not juggling really so don't jump to conclusions. These are all firsts and it's been rather sporadic when I find someone interesting who might even pursue me a little, tho usually, the persistent ones are so much younger.. it's endearing, of course, but Miss D must start learning from her mistakes one day and play with the older ones who hopefully, have better timing and a clearer understanding of that balance of planning for a future and living in the moment.

Well.. one can only hope, right?

And yet, since the dating plane has been more of a dusty desert recently, I might be having drinks with an adorable 25-year-old tonight....... eh.. so my plan of learning from my mistakes starts tomorrow. What's one more day?

Happy weekend my lovelies! Mwah!

Glitter+Sun+Crinolines = Solstice Baby

It has come and gone, the weekend of Solstice, tho June 21st, the longest day of the year, is just hours away and Seattle celebrated in the brightest way it could in the heart of Fremont.

Again, helloooo Blogger IT people.. it'd be nice to post some PICTURES please.. No?! Was that some snickering over there in Blogger land where some mean and green being is maniacally planning to take over the world denying one blogger at a time the ability to upload pictures of our lives??! I think so!

Fine. No cake for you.. I mean, until this is fixed.. um.. if it will get you to fix the issue faster.. then of course, cake will be right up.. well.. just as soon as I can upload pictures. Got it buster? *Sigh*

** Update ** Oh um.. thank you Blogger for fixing the picture issue. Cake will be on its way.. or should be.. or hey, why don't you just go pick one up and then send me the receipt? Yes. There's a good Blogger. Check's in the mail and all that.

Ahem... now where was I? Oh yes..

I direct your attention to this link titled appropriately, Fremont Solstice '06, or as I started calling us, The Crinoline Brigade. I'm sure you can see why.

*** Update AGAIN *** Stupid !@#$% Blogger.. as you can see.. no further pictures.. the top one was a fluke people. Please, come put me out of my misery. And do not, I repeat, DO NOT, send cake to those Blogger people who apparently do nothing all day but laugh at cute little bloggers like me and our futile picture-uploading efforts.. Hmph. Hate you right now Blogger.. yes I do!

Moving on..

The theme was camo and crinolines, which, let me just say, got us a whole mess of attention. And my new camo t-shirt, a bargain deal at only $6.99 and a child's medium at that, I might add, was actually quite fetching, I found. Seriously, the military might have something on fashion and this stretch fabric.. you know.. when you're trying to blend in with the foliage, might as well look as good as you feel is all I'm saying.

Spirits were high.. and only after a short time, also tipsy, but mostly the bright colors found complete strangers smiling with us and even one gay friendly boy demanded we twirl.. and you know what?! We did - to everyone's delight! Oh yes.. we brought joy to the masses that day and if you don't know the Fremont Solstice, there were masses to behold.. um.. en masse. Er.. whatever.

And then you know what? The sun came out, which is rare here in June people.. but it did! And there was lots of yay! And then it sort of became 85 zillion degrees very fast and we weren't moving.. or in shade. Nope - we were just sitting there.. waiting for the parade - to start.. sort of forever.. and then it finally did.. Oh! Whoo hoo! And stuff like that.. and it kept going and going and going.. and we sat.. for hours.. in sun.. directly.. with no sunscreen. Ow, my scalp. But hey, who noticed?

Did I mention the drinks started happening pretty early? There were water bottles of margaritas which I only sipped cuz really.. me + sun + drinking = not so pretty so I was the designated crinoline brigade driver of sorts. The majority of the other kids? Well.. yes, they were trashed before the parade was over.. but it was rather humorous and entertaining and there was much fluffing and dancing with the crinolines and strangers and such - you know.. general merriment (which you would SEE - right here - if Blogger corrected their breaky parts! Argh!).

And I believe afterwards, there were many many.. many more bartender's margaritas and very little food and possibly a beer garden and somewhere in there, Ms. Ironika glazed over like a Krispy Kreme (I told her this myself - which I thought was a particularly brilliant comment, not to mention, simile, thank you.) and both her man and I noticed about the same time. We thought better than to jar her suddenly cuz she seemed on the verge, and yet I was proud she managed herself, crinoline and bobbly headband and all, to the restaurant facilities to have her moment of .. um.. eradication, as it were.

Hey, she was smiling afterwards..

I think there was some walking.. and then some lying down on the grass.. and then another attempt at walking but just to a nearby patch of grass in which to lie (lay??) again - or possibly nap. So to be clear: Walking = 0, Grass lying = 2.

Those of us who could manage the walk to the beer garden to extract keys, only managed to extract our host entirely from said beer garden in fear we would lose his one and only house key - and you know, we probably would've.. so in retrospect, he actually made the right decision to accompany us - and then we met up with the rest of our jubilant, and also, very plastered, friends who'd rallied and found a semi-grounded state enough to stand and walk. I thought it was a good sign. And then off we went for further private purging and the much-needed post-purge nap.

Oh the girls were silly and how I so wished I had video of the whole raucous event, but you will just have to settle for the link of pictures to Flickr and then write mean and nasty and pleading letters to Blogger to FIX. THE. PICTURE. LINK. ALREADY. GOD!

I think Solstice was done up - and down - and probably sideways by our pretty platoon. I, for one, was never bored.. and the fancy crinoline I wore did wonders for my popularity amongst the public. It never hurts to have a few adorable male strangers fawn and compliment.. and request a twirl or two..

A Drink, A Club, And A Set of Fluffy Knickers

Last Thursday I got an email from our fair little Pixie informing me of something called Seattle Urban Golf. Hmm, said I. Just like that. Hm.. this sounds.. interesting. And a couple of emails to Ms. Ironika and back to Ms. Pix, and before I knew it, Team Fluffy Knickers was born and greatness embarked upon!

Our big event took place on Saturday afternoon with a mass of costumed fanatics, including ourselves, dressed for the occasion. The burners arrived with their highly equipped golf cart that was dressed more for getting round the playa than making its way round a few city blocks, but they managed just fine.. yes they did.

The idea was to get thru 9 holes in and around the Capital Hill area.. each hole ending at.. oh.. a bar! Because if you have incentive, then it makes the golfing that much more fun - not that we needed incentive to have fun - we were golfing with plastic hockey sticks for children after all.. The first hole was um.. not so tough.. just a few short yards away and I think we walked further to the bar beyond the hole than it took to get to the hole itself! So I took my time.. what? Like we were in a hurry?? But we got going.. and phew! We made it to the first bar and first round of drinks.

We managed quite a bit with our original team of 6, tho we were added onto twice by the organizational leaders and made into 10 quickly. Two of them seemed to disappear as fast as they joined.. but they found others with whom to bond behind us. And everyone made friends cuz what is golfing AND drinking without a bit of friendly? I'll tell you.. dull, people. You're simply a drunk in plaid.. and that's just not ok.. no no, it is not.

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Please note Blogger is suddenly not letting me upload pictures anymore and hellloooo Blogger PEOPLE... I'm so NOT happy about this, like AT ALL! Grrr! So due to technical difficulties to no fault of my own, thank you, I will continue on without the visual examples since my post has already been delayed and instead, will be forced to submit y'all to more sarcasm than usual.. yes, I will. Hey.. blame Blogger..
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ANYWAY..

Pretty much after the first hole, guesstimates of scores were tallied. My first one? I think it was 4 strokes... times 12. It didn't really matter since by hole 5 or 6 we started noticing people we'd never seen before. At first we thought they must've started after us and because of our dallying, drinking, and nacho-ordering so as to absorb what was beyond my already 12-year-old girl tolerance to alcohol, that they must've caught us.. but nope that was wrong, as I found out when bothering asking them myself. No indeed.. they'd started well before us.. like an hour. We simply mastered the cement greens and thoroughfares too skillfully- and I think eventually, we just really wanted to be done (hi, those boots ain't made for that much walkin') - that we surpassed all but one team by the end - six hours later.. yes, really, it took that long.

The height of the buzz surrounding the event as well as caused by many a potent libation truly came during some back and forth trash talking with the team close at our heels, the Assimilators. Persistent in their efforts to convert our dearest and most attractive members, Pixie and Ironika, with their emblazened sharpie markings, I duked it out with them in a few bars and they could only stand back with mouths agape, but oh so impressed by the fear I instilled in them. And then, to the delight of the man in the neon-lit army helmet [imagine picture here *ahem*] following his jab at me for his stroke score (and oh.. just wait for it), came my comment, "Oh yeah, I'll stroke YOU,"..... which as you're experiencing right now, was followed by silence and then much, much laughter and maybe an array of every possible shade of red that one Miss D can turn. Yup.. that was me. Pure brilliance I tell you. After my graduation from clown school, I will be available for parties..

A few of the team members couldn't endure the rigors of the entire tourney and I know after an extensive chat with a gopher (pictures would be HERE if Blogger got their you know what together) and a large Guinness, Ms. Ironika, as well as a couple of other Fluffy Knickers, cabbed it home. And the five of us who lasted sat round our victory table after 9 grueling, yet fascinatingly entertaining, holes - fried mozzerella and pitchers of water already delivered by the time the other drunks teams finally started arriving. And tho we made some new acquaintances, Pixie and I left them to their final rounds of full pints and decided to head home when we felt our ability to drive had returned and our costumed journey had come to a successful end.

And then I spent ALL day Sunday editing pictures (after coffee and four ibuprofen)! Mine are here but there are a few others we found here and here! Go look! And read the captions! Yay! Cuz I'm so funny!

Coming soon..

No time to write at the moment.. but thought I'd leave a little teaser.. Team Fluffy Knickers sailed thru Seattle's first ever Urban Golf Tournament a.k.a How Many Bars In Capital Hill Can One Walk To After Pretending To Golf In The Street.. I Think It's 9. Ohhh.. you will like this one.. I promise!

More to come my lovelies.. more to come.. xoxox

Sassypants Tuesday

You might think this post is going to be about sassypants, since the title says, 'Sassypants Tuesday'.. but noooooo.. it's about me being sassy and.. maybe.. wearing pants while doing it.. which is not altogether out of the ordinary, but I give you this picture above. Yes I do. It's yours. I know.. I really shouldn't have, but it comes with a string - or rather, a contest if you will. Tell me what you think it is.. or give it a title of sorts.. something catchy, witty, and creative.. something worth getting my ass kicked by Kari who's the owner of this fine whatchamacallit and you, my fancy readers, get to help - name it, that is.. not kick my ass. I am fragile you know, but given the chance, I am a scrapper. I pull hair. So watch out, fyi.

What's in it for you? Oh.. um.. hm.. well, I'll think of something.

Now you ask, what brought me to snapping shots of Kari's garden art? Well, two glasses of wine for starters.. but mainly, this little bug's 4th birthday party.. also cake. Don't forget the power of cake.. I never do.. just like I never forget the children (except when I do and don't mail Christmas presents to Megan til like May, but they weren't really forgotten, they just weren't sent.. til much later past Christmas like 5 months and, oh.. I know, I suck.)... But isn't she a cutester? All four years of her.

And this other little bug, Max, to whom I'm not even related in the slightest, could not be photo-resisted when he gave me this little magician/2-year-old-in-the-hood look. I tell you.. frickin precious..

Continuing on the birthday bent and this backward spiral of storytelling, Pixie and I headed out for a rather belated celebratory girl date drink, or 4, for her 30th anniversary of life on this planet on Friday. It wasn't quite my fault she was in Europe during the exact change over into 30-dom or that there was some reverse present-giving upon her return from her travels which sparkled up my wrist considerably. But, I did my best to make it up to her, sambuca poised for her pending arrival, and anticipated the girl-talk to be had.

Far be it from me to deny myself any special camera opportunities when in the company of the Pixie-ness herself, but to my surprise, after a few unflattering shots were captured by my unskilled push of a very snazzy, but oh-so-slow camera button, Pixie put the kibosh on that and thusly, stole the picture-making device away from my tipsy little hands. You can see that look, can't you? That.. 'Oh dear.. she is an insistent little thing, isn't she?' look. But before I knew it, she was flashing the pics trying to find just the right top-of-my-head shot and somehow, this one, where as I'm doing my best chihuahua growl.. or something to that effect, was the keeper. There's even a little cleavage in there. My gift to you.

And THEN, you know what happened??? The most AMAZING THING! Last Thursday I got a package! Yes I did! And tho it wasn't a box-load of wine or diamonds or winning lottery tickets, it did contain 4, I repeat four, BOXES of homemade Read's chocolates from the fantastic parents of Treena and their legendary candy store. I'm telling you.. order some. Now. Do it. You will thank me later. Yes you will. Cuz you know why? You've never ever had chocolate fudge wrapped in caramel and then covered in chocolate.. have you? Well, maybe you have.. but I hadn't.. and there were lots of mmmohhhhhhhmy's and mmohmygod's around the office wherein I secured my popularity and the undefeated Bringer Of Chocolates title once again. You'd think I'd be all chocolated out by now too with all my choices - each one veiled in either milk or dark chocolate - the peanut butter fudge with caramel and the chocolate covered coconut.. and a bag of licorice that is ALL. MINE. But nope, not sick of it at all. Are you frickin kidding?! Yeah, no.. that could never happen.

Oh! I almost forgot - has anyone noticed my weather pixie? Such the little tart, don't you think? But she fits right in with her sassy platforms and is almost always inappropriately dressed for the weather. Maybe I should name her Pomgirl since she keeps forgetting her coat when it rains (Hee!)? Or maybe there should be more winnings to the person who comes up with the best name for her? Yes, why not! I promise, it'll be something cool and maybe.. chocolate! Oh, did I say that outloud?!

So what have we learned today? Take pictures when you've had alcohol, tease your friends - kindly, but publicly of course, ooo and aww for the children, come up with ingenious answers for my many spur-of-the-moment-just-thought-up-JUSTNOW contests, and take a dip into the happiness that is to be found by way of much cocoa indulgence. Do it. You know you want to.