I Might Be Dying.. Send Soup. Send Ryan Gosling With Soup.

I have a great post started with like.. so many things I need to discuss.. Chinese New Year, the McLeod Residence.. the silly Oscars (hi.. how hot is Ryan Gosling?? So hot. That's how.) and that one of my friends was in the choir a few times in the background and American Idol (Yay Blake! Aww for Rudy.) and the fact that it's getting so fucking surreal that I keep seeing people I know on tv all the damn time now that I almost can't deal with it.. but you guys.. this cold is seriously getting all Jet Li on me and kicking my weeny ass. I'm losing my voice, which makes me all sexy like Demi Moore until I start hacking up what sounds like a hairball and running me down to exhaustion..

So, apologies to oh.. all 5 of you out there.. I will blog when I can, if I can make it thru work and my busy social calendar this week while sloshing vitamins and Airborne and Emergen-C galore in order to get better. Prepare yourselves.. when I post, I'll have things to say. It could be lengthy. But I know you people skim. Don't think I don't know who you are.. ok? Cuz I do.

Mwah! *cough sniff*

Things To Do In Seattle When You're Sick

See.. this is the time when I should be detailing my great weekend in Vancouver with Lady Miss Marquise and Loren and Chinese New Year and spying on Very Hot Guy In Underwear in the condo across the way.. but alas, ALAS I SAY.. I'm ill and my head is swimming in a fog of dizzy and tho I've drunk my weight in ginger ale, the nausea hangs on like a the rough and tough viral soldier it seems to be.

I avoided it for almost two seasons entirely. I was shocked as so many co-workers and friends fell victim to the various colds and flu attacks that held them hostage for 2-3 weeks at at time during the fall weather. When winter arrived.. I looked around and thought I must have some magic forcefield protecting me as everyone seemed plagued time and time again, but I kept on with the vitamins and Airborne and Emergen-C so as not to let anyone think I was being arrogant and simply asking to be struck down. Oh no.. I know better than to test Fate.

Then when I thought I'd just about reached the end of the maligned tunnel with spring nearing closer and the occasional sunny day providing the happy energy still with nary a scratch, thinking naively I'd escaped.. WHAM! Down for the count I went.. fading fast.. just a shadow of the healthy and hyper girl I used to be.. [cue sad and melodramatic music]

Ok ok.. I'm not dying.. nor do I even feel like that.. it's just.. yucky. And it's weird. This feels more like a hangover than the flu.. but you know.. without the inebriated, flirty, and fun potential of that kind of night. And the sick takes all my funny away tho the cat doesn't care cuz she never found me funny in the first place, but she loves the nappy company since I ditched work this afternoon for the horizontal alternative and woke up from my flu coma about 4 1/2 hours later. More sleep will be needed. Work tomorrow is in question. Blog updates seem imminent..

So I leave you with a small list of things I've been doing and which I highly recommend when you're under the weather.

* Snuggle with cat - if you are lacking one feline, look to borrow. If you are allergic, I'm sad for you.

* Research Kombucha after buying something that says 'G.T.'s Kombucha' to drink that promises amino acids and live cultures and other things you don't care to remember cuz you're so dizzy you wonder how you actually drove to the store, let alone are still able to stand and process thought.. and despite the nausea, you're still hungry so nice clerk-type girl said it's good for when you're sick tho it smells quite a bit like vinegar. Try to hold yourself back.

* Buy chicken soup, yummy pasta salad with kale, and cornbread muffin and stuff face in sickly daze once home.

* Snuggle more with cat and think about vegging in front of tv.

* Call cable company when you realize vegging in front of tv is not an option because the access card for the cable box is on the fritz and since they will take two days to get you a new one, you will miss Heroes and Studio 60 tonight.. and possibly even Lost on Wednesday. Take this fact in and realize you are too sick to be even remotely irritated. Make mental note to do it later.

* Remember that it's now officially The Year of the Pig. Your year.

* Remember reading that even tho this is 'your year', your Chinese horoscope said (roughly translated of course): 'Um.. yeah.. don't expect too much. Really not looking good for you this year. Tough break, kid.'

* Check out new Ok Go video and feel better for three minutes. Maybe watch it twice for a full six minutes total of better feeling. Laugh while you're at it, especially at the karate parts. Couldn't hurt.

* End night with cat snuggling and fall into happy dream of waking up sans dizzy and kicking this so-so year of the pig idea to the curb. I think you eat another cornbread muffin in there somewhere too.. mm..

Hearty Har Har

Oh the love.. can you feel it? Can you?! Hm.. if you're like me.. not so much. Don't get me wrong.. it's there. I know it is. Mom loves me, Gram loves me.. my goofy brother and all my friends. The cat. Got that covered. But you know.. there's no earthquakin'-rockin-my-world feeling of Valentine's Lucky Charmed hearts and flowers and rainbows and bunnies anywhere in sight. And you know what? I'm ok with that.

I was dating.. and now it seems, I'm not. Both options weren't the right fit, tho they were lovely people. I wished them well and on their way. I had to be honest cuz seriously, I don't know about you, but I can't fake feeling something that isn't there. That would make me the best actor in the world.. and I would be getting a kajillion dollars a day and have personal assistants AND a posse! That's IF I could do that.. and tho I'm gifted people, I'm not that gifted.

I'm not whining. I'm not bitter. In fact, I'm just disinterested right now, which is saying a lot for a girl who's been boy crazy since oh.. birth. I want to be moved.. I want to feel 'twitterpated,' but it's ok that it's not happening right now. I've been trying too hard here. I don't expect any opportunities to fall in my lap, but I'm not going to chase something or someone that just doesn't exist. Or at least doesn't exist today. Girl is focusing on herself.

Boz and I head to happy hour tomorrow to meet new and exciting people, we hope.. or at least have a drink or two and spend time being friends. These are good things. After that is Jamie's cd release party for H is for Hellgate. I'm thrilled for her and not just cuz I know her. She kicks some serious rock n' roll ass. So buy her cd so she can actually get paid for pursuing her dream of making music rather than for working with me.

Friday, Loren and I are headed up north to the land of Canadia where the men are usually gay or one of my exes, but they're cozy nonetheless. There will be a party hosted by the fabulous Lady Miss Marquise where love will certainly be the underlying theme, but there will be no desperation about it. Just a bunch of good friends who haven't seen each other in much too long in a place where the money is worth almost as much as the dollar making the exchange rate a moot point and where the weather is exactly the same and not in the least better - but the objective is that it's a change of scenery and lovely people will be there. So.

Til then my little anti-valentines, don't despair if there's no one to celebrate with. Write yourself a little love note like I have here. Just don't forget: you have you, and dammit if you aren't pretty great. You at least know that I know that. And your mom. You always have your mom. Even if she sucks, your mom always loves you. Trust me on this.

A Devyl Among Ducks

While the Duck is away, she's asked me to guest on her site. I'll be over there just for today in case you'd like to visit..

Til then, you kids be good.. and play well with others.. ok?

Mwah!

And You Thought The Only Thing Exciting About February Was The Silent 'R'

I bet you were doing just fine today.. like me. Groovin' along to the iTunes, tho I couldn't tell you exactly what was playing in the background during the time I got the email, as I'm sure you received one shortly thereafter as well.. minding your own business, nose to the grindstone, as you do... doing your cute little job in your cute little shoes.. cuz hey, you have some style.. and right when you weren't expecting it - BAM! Anna Nicole Smith dies. DIES, people! You always knew the girl was a train wreck.. but still.. shocking and sad.. and I might add, that squirrely looking guy she married seems a little suspect.. don't you think? And you know this is already in talks for becoming a Lifetime Movie of the Week or a Fox news special. But I say let dear Anna rest in peace. After the life that girl has lived, she probably needs it..

Let's all take a deep breath.. good.. feel better? Now, go hug someone you love and be grateful that some people are bred for infamy.. and, even more so, that you are not one of them.

***************

This last week has been busy, but it's all been rather low-key. Not too much time spent with boys unless they are friends and I guess that's the way it probably should be right now.

I started the weekend by spending it with Kari and her family, where my nieces did nothing but entertain and once in a while, melt down, but that is the nature between a 4 and 7-year-old. All hyper and nonsensical goofiness one minute.. and the next it's absolute life-and-death tragedy where both are crying hysterically and time-outs are issued.. and Kari is such a great mom that she takes it all in stride. We eventually just looked at each other, smiled.. and took another sip from our wine glasses with a relaxing sigh following. At least she'll have some good blackmail material/comic relief for later years to come.

Saturday, my friend, Scott, who lives in Oakland, came thru town on his way back from his annual ski trip at Whistler and I met up with him, his dad and a couple other friends for dinner. We were all happy to see there were no injuries to speak of since they seem to be fairly accident-prone during these trips and many beers were consumed in celebration. I had a sincerely crappy glass of wine. After that, I stuck with gingerale and was mocked appropriately for the rest of the evening until we closed the place down.

After brunch the next morning, they hit a local brewpub that makes a cream ale Scott can't find anywhere else. They like the beer. Lightweight Me said, 'Um, think I'll pass,' and I went off to do errands. I had to pick up Boz (the ex.. you know, we're friends and all that - and that's the nickname he picked, which does nothing to disguise him from pretty much anyone who even barely knows him, but whatever..) from the airport around the time Scott and his dad would be arriving there to head out so all of us reconvened one last time at some over-priced bar and watched the Super Bowl for a bit.

And there we were.. Boz, back from a debaucherous weekend in Sin City looking like he'd been hit by a couple of diesel trucks, yet still in a drugged-but-happy state of tired, Scott, his dad, and me. A few minutes of chit-chat pass amidst back and forth watching of the game and the oh-so-not-impressive commercials inbetween, when who walks in but six or seven very cute, very suited guys about my age. In a few minutes, a couple more walk in, equally hot, also in suits. And it just kept getting better.. and better.. and at one point, I'm sure my mouth had to be picked up from the floor manually. What sort of plane were they about to catch? Was there a special Cute Boy Gate just for them? And how do I get on that plane??

A late arrival at a table nearby was clearly 'hooked' as Boz pointed out to me. He would very obviously wait for me to meet his gaze but I don't think I ever did, yet when someone is staring at you like that.. you can practically feel it and it was just a tad unnerving. I was possibly acting a bit like a school girl - scribbled my number on a napkin with no name just in case I chickened out and was giggling like a halfwit. Boz did his best to be supportive, even asking the guy where the game was being played so he could give me an in.. but the question was asked and answered and it didn't leave me much to go on. I thought maybe I could tell them we had a bet going for who they were and why they were all dressed in suits around 4:30pm for a Sunday evening flight. The guys were certain they were in sales and therefore, jackasses. I thought sports team of some sort, but basketball seemed to be out cuz really only one guy seemed above average height for that. They all seemed to be a little silver-spooned as well so I had no other idea but business guys.. and really.. who travels in a suit at that time of day during the Super Bowl?

Ultimately, I wussed out. Yes. I know, I know. But c'mon! A bar is a bad enough place to pick someone up.. but an airport bar? Hi.. they're GOING somewhere. AWAY FROM HERE. SOON. Boz and I already agreed there was no way they lived in Seattle cuz hi.. cute guys. Cute guys are in massively short supply here. Sorry - to be clear, cute STRAIGHT guys. The hot gay guys are coming out of the woodwork people. Seriously. It sucks if you're me and all the attractive men play for the other team. You don't get that many cute, straight guys in one place. Doesn't happen. I witnessed a Cute Guy Phenomenon and I'm telling you, it won't happen again in my lifetime.. unless I move.

So as halftime hit, they quickly bolted to get into the line for security and off went my divine-looking, blue-eyed admirer. Since Boz was fading and needed food, we said our goodbyes and walked right by the same security line SuitBoy was in. He about broke his neck to get a couple more looks from what Boz told me so I turned around very clearly and gave him a very flirty smile and a wave that he couldn't help but jump out of line to chase after me in order to retrieve my info, mumbling something about soul mates............. and yeah. I'm totally lying. I didn't run after him either. Sometimes they need to work for it.. and it's not my job to make it so easy for them. Au revoir, SuitBoy! Ok, maybe I'm kicking myself a little.. damn.

Now.. Boz and I are teamed up for our McLeod Residence project, which is to become members by proposing/pulling off some event or contributing something creative and daring and awesome that no one has thought of before - tho there was a simple suggestion of cupcakes from its founder, Buster, whom we've been totally harrassing emailing (which left me with cupcakes on the brain all dang day.. mmm.. cupcakes..). And I'm all for easy, but challenging will probably make me think - and that's what we're trying to do. Challenge ourselves and as a bonus, meet some charming and captivating people and have a damn good time doing it. More on that next week.

Til then, offer up a little prayer for dear Anna, won't you? And also, you should get going on your list of 43things, don't you think? C'mon.. I have to learn Spanish. Or ooh! Combine the two!

Espero que estes bien, querida..

At Least 43 Things, Maybe More

In light of the first day of the second month of the new year, I took a look around at my world to see how I felt the beginning of 2007 has gone so far. Hm.. not bad really.

I rang in the new year with Sailor. Unexpected affection is never a bad idea in my opinion and we've been hanging out for a month now. No drama, pretty easy and laid back, but he's busy and self-employed. His deadlines and irregular business hours have left us with not much time at all together for the last two weeks and because of that, our connection has found itself in need of some repair. Not the end of the world.. he's a sweet, good guy.. and an apology for being a jackass - his words, mind you - go a long way with me.

Enter Mackenzie, who defies needing an alias (Hey.. I offered him one. The best Irony could come up with was Ohio. Like.. where he's from. Eh. Sorry girl.. I need something.. more fitting..? He questioned why he needed one at all.. and I replied, 'Oh.. um.. I guess you don't. Huh.' So there that is.). As is my usual, he's a bit younger, but he's slightly more wounded than some, not that it's obvious really.. but in the bit of time we've started to get to know each other, I can see it in him. It's quiet, he's cautious.. I can appreciate that.. and we both really like music. It's a start.

This is dating.. obviously. Not polyamory or anything like that (tho I think.. technically, if you're going by the definition.. it is.. BUT for our purposes here, we are not, fyi.). I'm just.. living in the moment. Yes, that's it. And tho I know men usually really enjoy relationships with no labels and rules left unspoken, when you are the one requesting it to be that way, it makes them.. uncomfortable. They get this look about them that says they're wondering what you could possibly do with a second man - and if that's really all of them.. maybe there are more..?! How scandalous! Isn't one enough? But that's not what it's about.. at least not for me. It's just pacing the getting-to-know part.. and it's hard to explain, but I'm doing the best I can to be genuine and keep my intentions on the table for all involved. The biggest benefit is that this keeps me focusing on me.. and not wrapped around the life of one person I barely know. It's time to stop making the same mistakes and I can only hope my strategy pays off.

As for good deeds, I participated in Chili Clash 2007 by procuring close to $2000 in items to raffle and auction off in order to raise money for... no.. not leukemia.. and noooo not the next natual disaster.. BUT.. the Solo Performance Festival, in which my friend, Keith, will appear, at Theatre Off Jackson, and really, tho no one is dying nor am I saving anyone from dying in any way whatsoever at all.. it was a good enough cause as any. And there were 5 (FIVE!) kinds of chili competing for.. uh.. BEST chili! Or something. Didn't matter.. it was good. I may have had three bowls. But my POINT here.. and yes, I DO have one.. is it made me feel like I was a part of a community and reminded me of my theatre department days in college and the functional lunacy it actually takes to be a performing artist. It's something I truly admire and respect and tho the event didn't go as well as I'd hoped, apparently they raised more money than they thought they would anyway. So.. YAY!

Now, the next undertaking is trying to find time to focus on the elements of myself I need to improve. I feel like I'm in the midst of a Life Rut and I'm trying to find things that will motivate me to make some changes, however small, so that I feel like.. well.. life has some purpose and meaning, to be honest. I have ideas.. don't get me wrong.. I have great ideas, if I do say so myself, but it's putting them into action and sometimes, I just need a push in the right direction.

And then, accidentally, I found The McLeod Residence. Is this the answer to all my problems? Probably not. Is this the motivation I've been seeking? Not sure. Is it interesting tho? Definitely. Can I explain it further (note: again, using purely for YOUR benefit, Treenster!)?? Um.. THAT is a very good question. They're touting it as a lifestyle.. of sorts:

"We are trying to build something new for Seattle. Something that we can all belong to, taking advantage of all the things that we know are possible but which you wouldn't do if you had any sort of agenda other than living an extraordinary life. We're inventing a new lifestyle and want you to join us."

Uh.. hm.. do YOU get it? Isn't it so vague you want to find out more tho? I mean, it's intriguing, right? Yeah I want an extraordinary lifestyle! Who doesn't?! Sign me up!

Therefore, you can become a member for $50 a year or $200 for a lifetime. Hi! Such a deal! You get stuff with your membership too - don't think you don't. But go to their site and read up cuz if you pitch them a good enough idea, you don't have to pay. And then maybe hit me back and see if you can explain to me what the f they are talking about. I mean, I'm excited and all, but I'm still not sure why.

So clicking around on all the links in their site in an effort to figure out what these seemingly crazy and, at the same time, ingenious and fun, people are doing, I stumble upon 43Things. What the..?! A list! This is PERFECT! Now my goals can be visible on the world wide web and hey! Look! Other people want to do the same things! AND some of them who've already done what you are still trying to do are there to give you ideas and support and 'cheers!' Who couldn't use a cheer in their struggle to achieve on a daily basis?! Like that's a bad thing? Instant Motivation! I'm feeling it! I'm psyched! And uh.. if you didn't notice, one of my 43 things (ok.. as of yet, there's only 25. I'm still thinking! Sheesh.) is to stop procrastinating so that maybe I can mark off some of these babies this year. You can also work on 43places, 43people - where incidentally, I found completely by fate, our dear Pomgirl and promptly made her my Number-1-Want-To-Meet Person. Oh yes I did. Even above meeting Jon Stewart. That's saying something.

I feel like these are super tiny things.. right? I mean, they are.. but I'm jazzed and enthusiastic cuz.. ok.. the sun's been out for like Three Whole Days in a row! You don't understand what winter is like here until you've lived 3-4 months of straight dark-and-grey so you have no idea what it can cause one to do and think and feel.. but combine that with these brilliant, little discoveries and I feel rather renewed and inspired. Touched for the very first time even!

Maybe it's a little silly.. but I want to create, I want to help, I want to feel like I'm living. Not just feel it.. know it. And stop just going thru the motions.

Can't you hear the door to my extraordinary life opening now?? Excuse me.. I'm going to step inside and just take a look around.