If I thought I was under the weather last week.. I certainly underestimated the power of a good virus, because really, now would be the accurate time to say I'm down for the count.. but at least it's not the flu. Definitely a nasty little cold with last week's symptoms proving to be just the beginning and compared to this week's sore throat, sniffles and headacheyness, much more tolerable then.
But the Powers That Be had confused me cuz by last Thursday, I felt fine! I was back to the picture of good health! But something was wrong with that picture because after my normal feel-good day at the office, I headed to the gym.. and while sometimes working out can evict whatever bug is hanging on for dear life and kick it out of your system, this moved it into a cushy apartment on the west side. And it invited friends over for a housewarming. Awesome.
SO! Things have gone on, recaps are needed, stories must be told.. themes and thru-lines implied..
Let's start with the outing to the McLeod Residence, the avant-garde social club that's piqued my interest. Boz and I headed out last week with high hopes and much enthusiasm and arrived in the midst of its Belltown neighborhood with me actually feeling slightly nervous. I mean.. hey, new people, new place where we knew no one, whoo hoo! And tho we know I'm a huge flirt and I laugh really loudly.. honestly, there are many times I'm quite shy. Like.. uh.. this one.
So Boz nudged me thru the front door and up the stairs where they have this pretty killer historic space and since we didn't really know a soul there, we headed towards the bar first. Seemed reasonable. But the problem was that the alcohol didn't manage our deficiencies in the skill of mingling. Boz is a lot like me in that way - extroverted, goofy, good energy (Totally me, right? Right?).. and tho smiley, maybe more observant at times than go-get-em. So we sort of stood around making lame conversation with each other. Hm..
But we spotted Buster, one of the creators/owners, and after introductions, brainstormed with him about our game night ideas and I started to relax. And then Buster left to continue to play host and as quickly as we had cool.. we lost it. Even with moving around the interestingly decorated rooms with random films of performance art/cello playing, we were feeling pretty awkward til Boz noticed a girl with a cool shirt on and we practically attacked her with compliments so that she'd talk to us (Hi.. how old are we?). She and I actually had a former employer in common so we knew some of the same people and had a nice chat. Then she went to talk with a friend of hers and Boz and I again lost our momentum. And we were doing so well.
We found that beginnings can be a bit rocky and that's ok. We don't back down in the face of sheepishness.. No, we do not! We just recovered by leaving.. rather. And off we went to the Sunset Tavern to see my co-worker and friend, Jaime, and her band, H is for Hellgate, kick some serious rock-and-roll ASS. That relieved us from the feelings of insecurity from our collective dorkfest prior. Plus, I had my white belt on. I was hip. Ok, I didn't have it on, but I have a white belt. So, that counts.
Onward to the weekend that followed in BC where Loren and I headed for a couple of days out of town and into the arms of our next favorite city, Vancouver. Between french press coffee and spying on the neighbors with open windows in the condos across the street which included, but wasn't limited to, the spectacular view of Nearly Naked Boy, we did manage to find time to hang out with Lady Miss Marquise who fell madly in gay-boyfriend-love with Loren. As everyone does cuz he's a gem (If you're lacking in a quality gay boyfriend of Loren's caliber, I suggest you ditch the bitchy bargain basement queen you have and upgrade, my dear. No woman should be without at least one, but just so we're clear - this one is mine.. tho I do timeshare, but not with just anyone. Send inquiries and we can discuss.).
We had a nice, leisurely lunch with Lady Miss, chatted up a storm, got manicures (Loren passed.. he's not that gay), and hit the town with her and some other friends later that night.
By the second bar, I'd realized that Lady Miss' friends, who were really great.. were all single. It's not something I notice very often anymore due to the fact that just about every one of my girlfriends has a significant other - boyfriend, fiancé, or husband - and they behave a bit differently. And by differently I mean, um.. they don't scam on guys or even notice them at all. And that's fine.. that's the way it should be.. but for those of us who are still single - and that just means me - we (I) need to keep in mind that tho we (I, again) don't want to be desperate, a partner in life is still something of a necessity, eventually - unless of course, you prefer the company of multiple felines.. and tho I love my cat, she's no good in the romance department. Plus, it's starting to have an effect on my touch.. the one that I'm losing. For example, once we arrived at the second bar with dinner over, the time to flirt apparently was ripe and two of the girls in our group disappeared completely to 'scope out the scene' I was told. We saw them later chatting up a couple of guys.. and then another 30 minutes passed and they'd moved on to a table of three guys, one who one of the girls knew, and the other girls rotated around the pair of men left seeing if they could manage a conversation (I heard not so well) and were worth their coquettish smiles. It was an interesting observation in human behavior.
What really caught my attention tho was that the girls were so direct. They had absolutely no fear about approaching any guy who might be standing in line for the bar and beginning a conversation with some randomly sassy question.. and seeing what happened from there. While I barely engaged in a bit of eye contact across the room and thought I was being brave. Right. And usually, flirting is a forte of mine.. oh yes, we know this.. but my artistry has gone unused as of late and therefore, it's rather in need of some WD-40.. so to speak.
Even while we dragged ourselves around the streets of Chinatown on Sunday waiting for the new year parade to start, a cute young couple and their cuter red-headed guy friend stood near us. Did I make conversation? Well.. I tried. Kind of. I had left a couple of times to forage for sustenance for us and couldn't have located Lady Miss and Loren on the way back without his red-headed cutester self. He sort of stood out being the only red-head among the mostly Asian community of onlookers, which I told him.. and then, um.. nothing. His friend then offered him a higher seat to view the parade by putting him on his shoulders which brought on some laughs and funny comments.. and then.. um.. nothing. Until they left.. and he said goodbye.. and yeah.. I said goodbye back.. but stood there like a lump. Cuz I rock like that. Sigh. But hey, the parade was pretty cool. Maybe I could've gotten more attention if I'd had a fan. Or a sword! Everything's better with a sword!
So in light of this realization, on the way home from Vancouver, I figured I needed to ramp up my skills.. sharpen the oh-so-engaging wit.. and just plain get on with batting the eyes if all else fails. Tho I need some single girlfriends who are willing to get out there with me and it seems.. um.. hm.. I'm fresh out. Is it the time for settling down? Is the single girl only supposed to exist under 30 and in the sitcoms with the otherwise boring married couple making bad jokes about the grass being greener every episode?? Should I get a few more cats and just call it a day?! Don't answer that.
I will probably not worry about it.. well.. mostly. It's the start of another weekend, thank God, and this evening's festivities, which will start with a long nap in another effort to sleep away this dreadful cold, will really begin when my group of friends heads out to Spin the Bottle and the last ever appearance of Chrom-A-Matic where I will dutifully attempt to bid my ass off for a one-of-a-kind piece of art intended as a severely belated Christmas gift for Ammogirl. I figure she might want more than a mixed cd.
So.. does bidding count as flirting? Tune in next week to find out.. *cough, sniff, sniff*
I will probably not worry about it.. well.. mostly. It's the start of another weekend, thank God, and this evening's festivities, which will start with a long nap in another effort to sleep away this dreadful cold, will really begin when my group of friends heads out to Spin the Bottle and the last ever appearance of Chrom-A-Matic where I will dutifully attempt to bid my ass off for a one-of-a-kind piece of art intended as a severely belated Christmas gift for Ammogirl. I figure she might want more than a mixed cd.
So.. does bidding count as flirting? Tune in next week to find out.. *cough, sniff, sniff*
20 comments:
Ugh - I feel for you. Read the music lyrics I emailed you and you'll feel better, I promise.
And, you'll get your flirt groove back, girl. I know you will. Just hang in there.
god could this post be any LONGER ? and you didn't even cover recent events, this is old. but i want you to know i read every word.
last time i checked, jody was single. and abby ? isn't she single ?
and yeah, you've got it pretty rough with the flirt skills. i was there last night. you remember, you had your trusty, flirty, man harem ? brutha puh-lease !
kario: Yes, I will check that out. Thanks for sending! Trying to catch up on all my reading this weekend. I have lots!
irony: Puh-lease yourself.. they're either already dated and decided I was annoying or we already discussed how incompatible we are or like Keith, is family.. and 2 girls, one of whom works all the time and the other who is dating someone and is always busy do not make an outing.. thank you. They sort of have to be available.. right?
I am so with you except that I have never, ever, been good at that cold call type flirtation. I'm only good at flirting when I know they like me first, and most guys won't make that obvious, not over here in London anyway. I keep having those "and then he... and then nothing" all over the place, like that cute actor on Thursday night when I was volunteering at the theatre, who took the drink I gave him and looked me in the eyes and said "thank you. very much" and could there have BEEN anymore meaning in his voice and then I... nothing.
I think we all need to pick up a bit of nerve? I'll try if you will.
Oh babe, it is a tough conundrum! And between you and me, I think the vodka was a good catalyst for the courage of the ladies ;o)
Vancouver is not always a receptive city, and it's difficult not to feel asexual at times.
It's not always that easy to start up that conversation, and seal the deal.
Funnily enough, it was a charmingly charasmatic gentleman from (yes, you guessed it) London who caught my eye last night and opened up the conversation just wide enough that I was able to wake up Mme Mojo. Sometimes we just need that push to go from eye contact to smile to flirtatious banter to a cheeky request for the number. Unfortunately, said Londoner lives in London (sometimes the irony is a killer).
T'was great to see you! And yes, we are all in love with Loren.
X
x
the b: Dammit then.. let's do it. A little more umph on our side and we can make a difference. But dear, in your defence, if there had been meaning in his gaze.. he should've followed up by dropping his number after the show.. at the very least. Remember, it's not all up to you. ;)
lady miss: Well it's good to know your mojo is in well functioning order. Sadly, all the good ones don't live here.. right? Sorry babe.. I hope the next one is a local or worth a flight or three anyway. And yes, the whole weekend was lovely. Fabulous to see your gorgeous self. Sending hugs!
Dammit, I meant 'defense'.. as in, my misspelled words are cuz I've been drinking.. in my own defense.
Oh, get out there and flirt more, ya big girl's blouse. Do they allow straight men in that gym you work out at? Ask one for a spot.
If you're still sick when you read this, contact Miranda Taylor at Gesundheit Acupuncture and Herbs
206-932-4371
She's very smart, and will cure you. I would, but I'm fah fah awaaaay.
Things do indeed go better with swords, or better yet, as our Asian girlfriend demonstrates, a sword in each hand.
bgd9: Ok.. yes.. but really, unless you're super cheesy.. who really goes to a gym to pick up on someone? I will keep Miranda's number handy, so thank you, but I have been seeing an acupunturist since August for my low back pain (I'm getting old yo) and got 2 massages this week for the knife-stabbing pain I got for doing nothing but trying to dry my hair the other day and apparently pinched a nerve.. rather severely. That alone and I'm finally starting to kick my cold. Yay! But come by again anytime!
(Formerly posting as Cat Brother)
3 different issues -
1. Hey, flirt more. If you looked like 10 miles of bad road, we could talk about emphasizing your waist or boning up on the Lake Poets or something, but Come. On.
No, you shouldn't go to the gym JUST TO hit on people, but it's perfectly fine to do so, within bounds, once you're there. Hey, if they're there, they're most likely into athletic body types, and like momma said, they can't see your personality from across the room. Just ask for the spot. If they have a wierd affect, or a Republican t-shirt, or zombie-repelling breath, thank them, put your Ipod buds back in, and get the hell back to another section of the gym. Done and done.
2. Re Chinese medicine - stuff like colds and flus are almost all cured via herbal formulas, if you ain't gettin' one, you ain't gettin' well. Thus my advice to go see Miranda, or to request a formula from your current acupuncturist.
3. Back pain should have responded to acupuncture by now; you either keep injuring it, or need a different practitioner, or just plain need to get stronger in the low back and ass. Have you been cupped?
bdg9: Your 3 issues addressed -
#1. The point of the post was that I know I need to flirt more hon.. I'm aware of that. I'm gonna try, but also, I sort of have to be in the right sitch w/ the right person in front of me.. and I'm pretty social and have some opportunities.. however, one of the last posts discussed the lack of attractive and eligible straight men in this city. I'm not crazy - talk to any single woman in this town and they'll tell you the same thing.
#2: I wasn't seeing a masseuse to cure the cold, it was for the extremely ouchy pinched nerve that had me collapsed on the bathroom floor Thurs morning from out of no where.. however, massage boosts the immune system and the cold was finally on its way out anyway so it couldn't have hurt and probably helped.
I take a multi, an extra C, been sloshing Airborne and trading off w/ Emergen-C pretty much daily and drinking tons of water and/or herb tea. Those really should do it and if they don't, I'm worse off than I thought.
#3: As far as the practitioner, I was wondering the same thing myself, but the back pain has decreased exponentially. It used to be difficult to walk w/out pain in the morning. It's great now, but I still can't run. It also only comes back that severely if I sit up in bed and work on the computer. Not sure why the difference in support but I don't do that anymore. Still, it's mostly covered by insurance and it's the most relaxing hour every other Friday I get right now. I do need to ask her about cupping. We've talked about it, but not done it yet. Also, I'm on a budget so if your referral doesn't take Regence, I wouldn't be able to see her. Plus mine is in the perfect place between my home and my office.
:) Thanks for the suggestions.. sometimes I need it but I'm pretty stubborn and do what I want anyway. Ask my mom.
Sorry about the lack of presentable straight men there….I continued to read the Stranger classifieds even after leaving for the East coast, and never failed to see a bunch of hot, attractive girls posting ads. I was frequently amazed that some ads stayed up, week after week; I would have been emailing, phoning, pounding on doors later that same day.
Nothing wrong with massage, it’s part of my practice too. I wish I got one every time I had a cold.
Airborne is really only much good if you’re about to get sick. Money Saver – go to Chinatown, and pick up boxes of Gan Mao Ling, it’s the same as Airborne, costs about 1/3 as much. All my clients get a box when they sign up. Once you’re sick, though, you need something stronger. This is where the custom herbal formula making comes in.
If your back pain comes in part from deep muscles stuck in spasm, which it almost certainly does since you’ve had it so long, cupping can help with this. There is an acupuncture technique for releasing locked muscles, but they didn’t teach it at NIAOM, you had to pick it up on your own. That and electro-acupuncture work very well for low back pain. I understand the convenience issue re your practitioner. Not sure if Miranda takes Regence or not, do know she’s well able to take out both your cold and back pain. Good luck and stay out of the cold!
Hi, I DEFINITELY think bidding counts as flirting! You should do it often. Without limits!
Oh, I'm just kidding. I wouldn't want to damage your honor for my sake. Unless you wanted to.
Either way...good luck! Totally unnecessary, you know, but thanks! I love you!
Totally off topic, did you hear about this. It's no laughing matter, but I'd be scared to fly from Seattle!!
bgd9: Thanks for all the advice.. I'll ask my chica about the cupping next visit!
treens: Like my honor isn't already damaged? Puh-lease.. anything for you sugar!
emmak: Ewwwwww! That's nasty!!!
So MissD, you feeling better by now, or what? I hope so.
OK, to you and lots of other commenters re: flirting. You're totally right about needing to get the "receptive signal" out there. Personally, it takes me about 99.99999% of all my effort/energy to flirt with someone (I'm just retarded/autistic/socially maladjusted like that, I guess...) So anyway, what I'm saying is my endurance for that is crap and if I don't get some type of reciprocation (stat!), I'm totally spent and just have to go hide in a corner and pretend like I'm sending text messages on my cell phone.
Also, I don't know about the whole "gym flirting" thing. Perhaps I've been misinformed, but I always thought it was one of the last places that a guy was supposed to try to flirt with a woman. I also take earbuds to be a sign saying, "Don't talk to me...I'm working out." Am I misinformed once again? Any enlightenment would be appreciated...
Perhaps I caught your cold through some internet osmosis?? The amount of snot I'm dealing with is far too much for one human to handle...
*hack* *wheeze*
Hope you're all better!
c.r.iii: Yes, I am, thank you.. F'n FINALLY!
On regular flirting, I think as we all get older, we can tend to get shyer, or I call it, more respectful of someone's space.. or I figure out much more quickly they aren't interested or are w/ someone already. I don't really know. I keep asking myself how people get together at all these days. It's a wonder.
On gym flirting, my thoughts were the same. If a guy starts chatting w/ me, it really takes me out of my zone. I really hate trying to pick someone up at the gym. I don't use it for that and anyone who does, is kinda cheesy unless their line is super genuine.. I mean, it's gotta be good for me to stop my workout.. cuz I don't want to be there, honestly. Not to mention, EVERYONE can hear you.. so everyone is going to know what this guy or you are doing.. and it's just uncomfortable to me. Not the right place/time.
kara: Oh sweets.. I'm so sorry! Yes, there was way too much snot. Where does it all come from anyway?! But I'm FINALLY better. Acupuncture this morning and feeling perky.. well, minus the fact that I can totally tell PMS started to set in yesterday. If it's not one thing, it's another, right?
Re picking someone up at the gym, well, your mileage may vary. I worked as a personal trainer 12 years at various gyms, mostly in DC and Seattle, now have my own. I saw a couple of marriages, and a whole lot of dating sprout from these fields.
I didn't mean, hang on someone trying to get in the leg press like a remora while barking "No, really, if I told you that you had a great body would you hold it against me? Huh? Wouldja?" like a spastic foghorn. EVERYBODY knows that one guy at the gym who hits on everything with tits and a pulse, and those guys are universally loathed.
Not really even 'hitting on' somebody, just asking them for a spot, thanking them with a smile, then getting on with the workout. No dropping of lines, I always sucked at that. At least making contact. I don't know about you, but I haven't found too many perfect places to pick up someone; in bars, people always seem to be on guard, and you have to talk over the music, and the light's bad.
If you see someone you think you might be interested in, and they
a. Don't have the earbuds in
b. Aren't just about to either squat or deadlift, both take a lot of mental energy.
c. Look halfway approachable
make contact, then leave and go about your workout. Mr. C. R. iii, the rules seem to be, never seen them written out, just like in the office - if s/he's attractive to you, then it's OK. Angel, unless you severely photoshop your images, I'm guessing you could tell a guy at your gym "Afghanistan bannana stand" and he'd smile, and look to run in to you later, out of the gym.
Girls have it much easier in this arena.
Oh my darling bgd9: First off.. who invented that phrase 'ear buds'? I don't know why, but it gives me the willies. I picture flower bulbs being planted in someone's ear canal. Ew. Can't we call them headphones anymore?
Second, I think I already mentioned there really are no options at the gym that I've ever noticed.. and I notice people, trust me.
And third, honey.. if anyone has their guard up, it'd be at the gym. I'm sweaty, I stink, I'm trying to lose weight that I don't want someone to see.. I'm not dressed to impress in the slightest, and if I don't need a spot. I lift more weight than a lot of my girlfriends, but seriously, I couldn't lift what would be necessary for spotting.. and I'm never in the area that would require me using that equipment. I need the din of rock music and a little liquid confidence and some skillfully applied eyeliner. Get my meaning here? And gym time is my time.. I'm in a zone, I want to get in and get out.. and then eat.. Talking to people seems to throw me off.. honestly. I feel like I'm screwing around and I should be focusing.
But no, I don't photoshop anything.. so thank you. That's sweet.. but if I was like that it'd so be my face w/ Jessica Alba's body.
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