Thanksgiving

Holidays in my memory involve lots of extended family, big dinners with kids' tables, tension with an argumentative father, uncles who fell asleep in front of the tv, and it hasn't really changed much other than now I am one of the adults who helps cook, serve, clean up, and sigh afterwards knowing it was a nice time.

This year, I couldn't make it. This year my car broke some very important wire in the coil in the engine or something or other but it made it go.. so when it broke, it only half went, and you know you can't get anywhere when your car only half wants to get there. That's bad. Very bad.

So even with a very trusted mechanic, it can't be finished until Monday night, the trains were booked, the rideshares were further south than I could get to and most were sketchy at best.. and Emma still didn't have anyone to check in on her on Friday.

After lots of tries.. I finally gave in to staying here, called Mom who sounded quite disappointed.. but I reminded her, as well as myself, that things could always be worse. And she agreed. I'm still sad I couldn't make it, but everything I have in my life spans a lot more than one family dinner.

Here's what I have to be thankful for:

* That I did have a lovely Thanksgiving with one of my very best friends, Loren, and his boyfriend and friends of theirs with a dinner we all helped cook, which included my very sassy cranberry sauce and his homemade apple pie that was simply orgasmic. There were two games of Scrabble tho the second was put aside for dinner - and no one really really acknowledged the 48-point word (FORTY-EIGHT POINTS PEOPLE) I made with FOUR letters just before that left them all in the dust anyway. It sucks to lose, tho I wasn't. But I had somewhere to be and people around whom I loved and who loved me. I felt very lucky.

* That the car will cost me a lot, but that I will be able to get by even with the pinch on my holiday budget. No shopping for me tomorrow, but seriously, am I sad about that? Hell no. I have a holiday budget and that's more than a lot of people have and I don't take that for granted for one second. It really wouldn't take much if circumstances changed for me to be that person holding a sign on the corner asking for spare change.

* For my family. I used to distance myself from them and I find this year, I've grown closer to my mother and that means the world to me. She's happier with her new husband and I'm happy that she's happy. I know that's all my dad wanted for her and it makes her a better mom. I've lost track how many times she's called me 'baby girl' this week. It really tickles me.

* For my friends who are my chosen family. They know who they are. They help me so much, they inspire me, advise me, influence me, challenge me, keep me sane and keep me happy, make me feel valued, needed, special, smart, beautiful.. make me think.. they are my rocks, my comfort, my support system, my treasures.

* For my cat, Emma, who always has unconditional love waiting for me. And really, isn't that what life is all about?

I hope you all feel just as blessed today. You certainly deserve it.