Oh For The Love Of Pete! Finally!

Seriously, you have NO idea how in-fucking-sane work has been for me this last week and oh.. yet yesterday.. while writing this... it's 10:16pm (actually it was after midnight.. grr). Do you know where your Miss D is? Well I'll tell you, darling.. she's still at work! And no, I won't bore you with the details cuz that would acronym you right to sleep for a century.. just like magic! But then you would miss out on my oh-so-splendifidus storytelling of the happenings that don't include that which is the daily monotony that pays my bills. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn.. See? Already feeling it?! I best get a move on then!

Chapter 1 - Three Wigs And As Many Girls.. Also, Hippies!

This is my friend Pixie. Hands in the air for all of you who think she should be the official Burning Man Poster Child - uh.. yeah.. it's unanimous Pix - you're the hottest hippie girl around.

Ok people.. tongues back in your mouths.. thank you.

This was the first big event of the Blogger Diva Weekend between the fabulous Lady Miss Marquise and few other lovelies, which included yours truly.

She arrived on a slow-going coach from the north and not by the private jet filled with cosmetics and spa treatments that she truly deserved, but she was beaming and sparkly, nonetheless. I quickly whisked her up in my chauffeured celebrity ride (read: crappy Ford Focus) and off we went, already finishing each other's sentences, and ready to begin our adventures.

We started at my favorite neighborhood bar, O Lounge, to catch up over drinks and appetizers (and maybe a quick eye flirt with the cute bar manager as well.. cuz I'm very good at multi-tasking..) and since we'd both had quite the long day of work issues, we relaxed and took our time being girls.

Afterwards, we headed back home to change for Luminous Flux, touted as the party of the year and hosted by the Space Virgins of Burning Man fame. One cannot head to a party such as this in the standard Friday-night garb.. oh no.. one must, at the very least, don a brightly colored wig as that is the bare minimum - a light pink one for me and a purple one for Lady Miss, but we also added a fuzzy zebra-striped skirt, some silver glitter, sexy boots and our brazen personalities none of which we could do without before we were to meet up with Ms. Pixie herself and her utility-kilted man, amongst the other standard burners that were sure to be present wearing their wigs, goggles, and what appeared to be stuffed animals (it was a jungle theme after all). There was quite a bit of debaucherous entertainment for the senses and we mainly enjoyed all the people-watching, appreciating the creativeness of everyone there who obviously requires more than just the one day a year to dress in costume. I think I'm personally becoming of that mindset myself. Such scandal! We loved it!

But we could not last nearly as long as the fair Pixie since she was dedicated to her mission of dance and merriment and not in the least bit interested in calling it a night at 3am like we were.. Yes, in retrospect maybe we were a tad weak, but we had loftier goals for the following day for which we needed to be prepared..




But before we laid down our pretty matted-wig-haired heads for our beauty rest, oh.. we may have targeted Miss Emma. Doesn't she just look ecstatic about this idea?! She's so dignified and elegant.. Or maybe she looks more like she's going to cut me in my sleep.. hm..

Chapter 2: How Much Money CAN We Possibly Spend For Poor Service And The Tiniest Cowboy Boots You've Ever Seen?!

Saturday was non-stop commercialism at its finest. After dining on gourmet vegetarian brunchy delights with Ms. Pixie and observing how not only had she had less sleep than we had, but she somehow managed to look positively radiant to boot, we thought we'd start with the biggest and most unusual market first: Target! I'm not kidding. Lady Miss had never been to Target and since I needed a few necesseties from there before we were side-tracked by the rest of the more expensive and glittery baubles from the other stores we had lined up to hit, Target was the first main attraction.

Have to tell you tho.. I hate it.. well.. ok, LOVE to hate it. I never leave there without spending at least $50.. and that day it started with the cutest EVER childrens' boots we walked by and which we must've spent oh.. like 30 minutes picking out just the right ones for my nieces cuz after seeing them it was too late and I was in unable-to-resist status and Lady Miss only served to weaken my addiction, but she has mad style, that one, so now my nieces are ever so lovely due to her much-needed second opinion. Girl.. those cowboy boots.. seriously, you've never seen a child so frickin cute in your whole life.

By early evening, we were both feeling that sort of fatigue that only comes with extraneous amounts of shopping. Lady Miss found herself a lovely new chapeau as her last purchase of the day and off we went to freshen up before dinner and the evening ahead.

I'd picked a lovely new place where a former mediterranean bistro had been, but had since been replaced by only a letter - Q - which was ambiguous and exciting but that I can't even get myself to link to cuz it was such a disappointment it was laughable. When you have to remind yourself and your friends it's not the establishment, but the chosen few around you in which you wish to drench yourselves.. I mean, yes, all true, but then if that's the point, stay in and watch Steel Magnolias over a large box of tissues.. I wanted sexy and intriguing and lush.. and we got so-so, and half-assed and really uncomfortable. This = so not what I was going for, but I'll give you the short list:

1. Drinks were very slow, place was not busy, server never apologized - for anything.

2. Server never came to check on us unless we chased her down.. which could've been fun had this been the point of the restaurant - but you know.. since she was supposed to wait on us.. it sort of wasn't.

3. She argued.. ARGUED about the cheese plate coming with warm baguette - it said so right on the menu.. but she said plainly, 'No, it doesn't come with that' like somehow, we'd made it up even after we pointed it out and again, not with attitude, but with no apology, yet she happily offered to bring us some bread, which was plain, wheat, and rustic - that was also so hard it could've broken a tooth. Oh. Hold me back.

4. The salmon was so eerily under-done in the middle.. and I already have fish issues people.. it was a big step for me that I won't be taking again soon. One word: ew.

5. After four appetizers, they started clearing our plates asking us if we wanted desert - our fifth person hadn't even ARRIVED! Helloooo?!

6. When the manager came over with the server in tow asking us if everything had been alright, we weren't mean and not even were we firm - but we didn't lie. The server actually then interrupted him asking about her level of service as we had only left her two dollars. Now.. I've been in food service since I was 14 - obviously if you only receive two dollars in tip, your service is not good. In fact, I do believe it is the OPPOSITE of good.. but please tell me where it is standard behavior to confront said low-tipping customer and ask them?! AND you will ALL be so very proud of me - as sarcastic as I am, I held my tongue on this one and kindly, KINDLY I say, pointed out she'd already included what we thought was an 18% gratuity WITHIN the tab, THAT WE PAID.. so in addition to the exorbitant amount of $24 + that I would never have left her otherwise cuz seriously, 12% was more than she deserved, tho we certainly would never have stiffed her, the two dollars were extra. She then said to her manager naively, 'Oh.. well, how does that work?' and he said he'd show her and left - no apology, no 'excuse us', no 'we'll be right back'.. He eventually apologized to the table.. but honey.. really.. come back? You are kidding.. right?

Honestly, the best part was the company as Lady Miss and I met yet another blogger, my friend, Wendy, who I've known for at least a year, if not more, but had never met. You'd think this was the coolest game I made up or something - collecting random, online strangers and only knowing them from what they write about themselves on their blogs.. hm.. come to think of it, that's sort of true. Like.. a lot. I may definitely have issues OR it could just be really lucky that I haven't met any serial killers.. tho Wendy seemed awfully sane.. especially for a mother of two tiny red-headed children.

We ended dinner - thank God - said our goodbyes to Ms. Wendy and the rest while Lady Miss and I headed up to the hill for a little more celebratory toasting with Pixie, her man and a few other friends of mine. And dammit, we should've just stayed there cuz downtown was too crowded with the too platinum, too drunk, and too rude - tho it didn't get any better on Capital Hill where the gay boys had no use for the straight girls that night, tho I had to admit, one boy did have nicer legs than I'd seen on a woman in a long time.

Irritated and annoyed, I apologized to Lady Miss for running out of energy at 3:30am and wanting only to get away from the crowds. What a sweet girl she was for completely understanding and being a good sport.

Chapter 3: Recovery = Minimal

Sunday moved much more slowly as we made our way to brunch and met up with one of Lady Miss' friends in town. We wandered Pike Place Market, said hello to the one and only fish guy I still know who shouted out my name after I'd just told Lady Miss he probably had no idea who I was anymore.. interesting.. We tried on hats in an antique store and then I introduced my fabulous friend to the famous Fremont Troll (Pictures are STILL a problem.. my apologies.. stupid stupid blogger..) - which is a statue under the Fremont Bridge people.. not an actual.. oh.. nevermind..

I then escorted the fair Lady Miss back to her coach and she was transported off to the land of the north after many hugs and an abundance of happy memories created.

Now my next question is - Pom? Léonie? t? Duck? Mandy? Treena??? When are you coming to visit?!