Hunt Theory

My theory/thought on what anon said here about the chase or the hunt...

The Gazelle

The herd of gazelle moves across the plain…sleek and graceful lines finding comfort in the strength of the herd, finding protection in their numbers, they move with a purpose but somewhere deep in their core they realize that their purpose is to be prey, to be run down, hounded, chased and finally caught. And yet with flight response primed they seek to flee, to evade, running, knowing that with each hunt they are left tired, more prone and more easily caught the next time…they run and yet they tire and in the tiring they desire for the hunt to end with their capture.

The Cheetah

The cheetah, muscled, focused wanting to run, to chase, to hunt and to sink himself into the choicest of the herd, eyes ahead his target is the juiciest meat of youth, the cleanest, most preened gazelle catches his eye and his hunger. His destiny is to hunt her; his strength is given for just that, a limited amount of power, will and effort to hunt. And yet even as he pads slowly towards her, stalking for the best position he knows that his energy has limits and to exhaust himself in the revel of the hunt will leave him blown, hungry, alone, and less able to pursue.

The Hyena

Is the scavenger of the field, he does not hunt alone, rather finding strength in his comrades, they move around the fringes nipping in to bite at the herd before retiring to run down the old, the infirm, or those still too young and naïve to avoid their teeth. But even for the hyena the prize is always the Gazelle, alone, tired and with little energy left from her flight from the Cheetah, she is eyed as a trophy worthy of the pack…or at least until the Cheetah has tired another.

And so the hunt begins.

Each plays their part.

If the Gazelle gives in too easily the Cheetah will feast quickly, and with energy reserves still full will cast glances at the herd and wonder after other quarry and imagine other hunts…he will grow restless as his energy demands to be used.

If the Gazelle runs too hard, flees to well, then the Cheetah will tire and not wishing to retire without catch will cast his eyes around for a less desirable but more easily catchable prey…his hunger needing to be satisfied he will with energy reserves almost exhausted strike at a lesser animal and settle into the meal it offers him.

If the Cheetah attacks well, he will chase the fleeing Gazelle, he will anticipate her turns and her attempts to wheel, and with calculated ruthlessness he will run her down, tiring her, exhausting her until with a stagger, he pounces. With reserves almost spent he will sink himself into the perfect meal and he will feast, with both hunter and prey complete in whom and what they are.

And yet, if the Cheetah starts his attack with a pounce, surprising the Gazelle, she will start, her flight response engaged, not realizing she desires to be caught she will flee, and with aggressive pursuit the Cheetah will chase, his breath hot on her flanks she will dig fleeing faster and with advantage lost the Cheetah will tire quickly, retiring from the hunt to choose another or to plan with fresh eyes a new attack.

Sometimes the Gazelle will flee the Cheetah, twisting and turning, her agile form dancing from his claws only to spot a more perfect feline with which to offer herself and she will lead the hunt before him hoping that he will join and pursue with vigor her tiring pursuer now lacks. This is a dangerous ploy since the Cheetah are wary of such flighty hinds and rather then exhaust themselves they will then merely pursue for fun, running her until she is tired, feasting on her as a temporary snack but still with energy for further hunts or instead giving up the chase just before she does to pursue a more honest and singular quarry.

The Hyena instead attack with laughter, with relish they fall upon the tired Gazelle, exhausted from her flight she is easy prey for the pack, who tear at her, twisting her one way then another as each rip into her, sharing her, seeking their fill from a meal not really theirs and that will not fill their hunger. And if with weary legs she manages to avoid the gnashing teeth of the pack she is still left lessened, scared and less able to fulfill her purpose of feeding the Cheetah whose eye she can no longer attract, and so will fall if not today, then tomorrow to another ravaging pack.

And so the hunt will end.

The Gazelle knows she is enough meal for one Cheetah.

The Cheetah knows the Gazelle will see him full and satiated.

The Hyenas know that they must share in their prize, so will discard her when used, to hunt for more, never finding enough to satisfy, in the shared meal.

Note: For those who wonder where is the Lion in this scenario? Well that's easy, in the wild the Lion does not hunt, rather his pride hunts for him, bringing him the choicest bounty so that he may feast, so that he may take his fill.

So the question is which one are you? Which one have you been? And perhaps more importantly which one do you want to be, and be seen to be?

- Henry "Indiana" Jones, The Dogs Name

10 Ways to not get a Second Date

So Miss D in a fit of possibly insane or alcohol inspired inspiration has asked me to guest blog for a few days, and since my content and writing style is totally different to hers, I hope I don't offend all of you...90% would do.

These 10 rules for not getting a second date have been culled from a small level of personal experience and from the collective wisdom of the Blokes form the Pub, so ladies if you don't ever want him to call, and you never want to see or hear from him again I present you with a list to assure just that.

1. Arrive Late: put simply an inability to be punctual is a sign of sloppiness, it suggests lack of genuine interest, and it is disrespectful and rude. All the adjectives you would use to describe a man who is late for a date can be likewise used to describe you if you are late...it is not endearing, whoever told you that lied to you. Worse it starts the date off on the wrong note since it screams "you are not important enough for me to drop what I was doing at get ready 15mins earlier so I could be on time", it tells us from the word go "you are not really into us".

2. Order for a Rabbit: You are not a stick thin waif existing on a lettuce leaf a day (well you might be) we have invited you for dinner, so do us the courtesy of eating something...if you said you eat anything and we take you to Morton's we don't expect you to be picking at the creamed spinach (which we agree is awesome) while we are the only one enjoying the grilled bovine. You don't have to shovel it in like a trash compactor but please order something, it really will impress us.

3. Chew Your Cud: You are not a bloody cow, learn to eat with your mouth shut. I know we are talking and I know a conversation involves you opening your mouth, but the words do not flow smoothly around the aforementioned chewed bovine while you are spraying me with creamed spinach...take smaller bites, its not a race, chew your food, swallow and then answer the question...want more time to eat, ask one back...it is after all called a conversation.

4. The Ex: Yes you have one, and yes I am sure he was a total bastard for whom you pray that there is a special place reserved in Hell...but FFS, do I have to know about it, him, and that bucks night in Vegas with a stripper name Candi. I promise to not tell you about mine, yes I have one too and I bet in the bitch stakes she can give your ex a run for his money...but seriously if I wanted to know about him I would be at the nearest bar drinking with him, instead I invited you out so I could find out about you. If you still need to talk about "the prick" maybe it would be better if you and your girl-friends all sat round with a pitcher of margarita and shared "man hating" stories until you are all drunk.

5. Get Shit Faced: A healthy appreciation and even enjoyment of alcoholic beverages is a must, since if you are teetotaler what are you doing out with us at a wine/martini/whisky bar...but trust me getting a little tipsy is endearing, and you might reveal something about yourself that would be fun to know. Having to carry your arse up a flight of steps and into a cab is not.

6. Wear the Wrong Shoes: You know how women judge men on their shoes, on the condition, the matching socks, the fresh buffed and cleaned leather...you know how a woman starts at a mans feet and lets her eyes wander up his body to finally take in his face and his eyes...well a man starts at your face drops very quickly to your feet and takes a lot longer to get back to your face than you do. And remember how you were judging his shoes, he is too. And "No" those bright pink espadrilles with the rhinestones on the toe are not cute, they never were and they simply never will be.

7. Multi task: You are not the leader of the free-world or even the oppressed world, there are not men standing around wearing shades and speaking into their wrists and the guy next to us is not carrying the "football" so turn your phone off. There is no message you can possibly receive that is so important that you need to answer it while you take 2 hours to dine. If there is, explain it to us at the beginning, if your dad really is that sick and in hospital we will understand or better yet suggest we get take out and go and eat it with him. (If we don't understand then what the f*ck are you wasting your time on us for in the first place, you deserve better)

8. Total Agreance: We are not the font of all knowledge and while we know some of our well reasoned opinions and theories are in fact logical, sound and have been tested by experience, we do not want you to agree with us blindly. Feel free to call us on our bullshit because we will call you on yours...as long as you do it tactfully, nicely and are able to support your counter thoughts, we will actually respect you more. (Again, if we don't then WTF are you doing dining with a Neanderthal like us?)

9. Wandering Eyes: We fully appreciate that you do not like it when we ogle the waitress, the same goes for you and the barman...yes we agree he does have big "guns" and we are sure that lots of chemical substances helped his pecs get just that way, but they also shrunk the bits you want to see, and besides he has a six-pack...you don't! Is that the kind of pressure you crave?

10. Cleavage: This is a difficult one since the line between leer and admire is as wide as the amount you like us. But if you dressed to show off your "assets" in an effort to impress us don't get upset with us when we look. We are men and if you put them, or your legs or your bum on display with your dressing, we will silently thank you and whatever god we believe in, and then look. It took you a long time to select the perfect outfit you were going to wear, you know the effect you were going for, so don't get upset when we look.

- Henry "Indiana" Jones, The Dogs Name

Shed Your Skin

The 11th hour is quickly approaching. The errands are just about finished, supplies acquired, and lists are dwindling. The pre-meeting/packing bash with the other two partners in crime is set for tomorrow afternoon at Mrs. Pixie's place, who's very antsy to get going, I can tell from the multiple calls we're making back and forth.

These boots were a magic little expenditure that I felt I absolutely needed, not to mention the pink kitten hoodie hat complete w/ pink fuzzy tassles. And no, I won't be wearing just those, thank you.. It's not surprising every boy I discuss this desert party with directs the conversation immediately to how I will suddenly tear off my clothes and dance naked and free among 40,000 other naked and free people. Hi.. have we met? I'm just not a naked type girl. Underwear, most likely.. but naked? Probably not. Well.. just in a few instances.. where it's necessary of course.. not that showering will be one of those.

God.. I will survive this, won't I? Yes yes.. I will. Seven days. In the desert. For realz, Treena.

Speaking of.. in my absense, as sad as it is to leave all of you for the disconnected land of the sizzling and dusty playa, I have secured a couple of very friendly, very talented, as well as very attractive writers to take my place. Indiana, from The Dog's Name, will supply a little titillation as he is one of the best examples of the male perspective in the world of he said/she said. An Aussie man's man, is my guess.. tho we've never met in Real Life, but we've struck up a very real friendship in this virtual world and I'm honored he's going to grace my pages with his gifts. Wait.. that came out wrong.

ANYWAY..

Treena is an old friend from high school, goes by the alias, Ammogirl, and is funny as all get out. To this day I don't know how we weren't closer in school since we grew up to be basically the same person, tho she has the oddest phobias of lint, lettuce, moths.. you get the gist. But again, total crack up and it's a privilege for me knowing she'll step in later next week to keep you all entertained.

So be good my pretties. I will have many many tales of adventure when I come back completely exhausted, smelly and greasy.. but smiling, I'm sure. Be good, but not too.. if you know what I mean.. and I'm sure you do.

My New Favorite Fairy Tale

I have always loved fairy tales.. always been the little girl who wanted the prince to come find her. I admit it. I was one of those girls who loved unicorns and wished for wishes and fairy godmothers - and the luminescent skin all the heroines seem to come with. I rather thought I'd grown out of that tho I still treasure my little girl hopes. I was totally brought back to the age of seven when I adored the idea I could grow up to be a princess and live in a magical kingdom when I saw Stardust tonight. This is my new favoritest movie ever. It has everything a fairy tale should have - wicked witches, dashing, tho evil, princes, unicorns, pirates.. and an awkward boy who seizes his moment - and the girl no less - all just in time to save the day. There were campy moments within a very witty script, which kept the story from being overly cheesy and reminded me of the wryness of Princess Bride at times. Of course, there were a couple of holes Boz and I noticed.. but we let them slide because in fantasy land, not everything makes sense. Plus, it was just charming as hell. Go see it. See it twice even. I'm putting it on my wish list when it comes out on dvd.. my birthday is right around the corner.. hint hint..

A Call To Arms

In 10 days there will be a caravan of three girls, two blondes and a semi-red-headed brunette (who needs her hair dyed), amped up to the highest degree, headed to a makeshift tented city in the middle of the Nevada desert, which will consist of dust, a dried up alkaline lakebed, and about 40,000 other people from across the country for an entire week. And tho I will reveal more about this specific event later, whilst the three amigas are en route and consciously detaching from their interweb addiction and trying to prevent the forseeable and ugly withdrawel symptoms, yours truly is going to need a stand-in, a substitute, another perspective, if you will, to fill the empty blogspace, not to mention supply much needed entertainment to my now five whole readers the masses who remain.

Yes, that's right. I'm soliciting your assistance. Your creativity. Your time. Your ability to use three dots for ellipses rather than my rogue (and honestly, incorrect) use of just two (Y'all think I don't know or something, but I do it on purpose. Oh I'm just the vigilante of grammer I tell you.. whatever that means.).

So, if you think you could be up for this daunting task, the criticism, the comments, the overwhelming responsibility of being well.. basically a better me than me, have your people call my people and we'll start making some magic, not to mention history. Aw yeah.

Further Observations.. What? It's Not Like Anyone Is Reading These. Are you? My 4 Readers??

I wasn't really done with the first one apparently.

* Target brand floss is no second runner up to the Crest Glide. I have to be honest. Really not the same league at all. So take my advice, don't be cheap when it comes to your teeth. Spend the extra 79 cents or whatever and just get the Glide. Your gums will thank you. And get the mint. It's yummy.

* Girls, the Philosophy big gorgeous eyes mascara is my new favorite bit of make up. Holy crap my lashes have never been so long. They leave a little schmutz on my sunglasses they're so long! The eyes are popping all day, I tell you. It's insanity.

* Philosophy also has this AMAZING smelling scent called 'falling in love', I know.. cheesy, but it really is fucking fantastic.. and that's how I smell when I lather on the lotion I got as a free gift when I spent a kajillion dollars getting the perfumed oil and the lotion for Fatima's birthday.. and it wasn't really a kajillion dollars.. because I maybe didn't get her anything for Christmas so I really needed to make up for being a complete loser, but still, after she got everything full sized, I knew she wouldn't mind if I kept the freebie stuff and smelled just as good as she would. Blackberry and vanilla.. seriously, go get some now. It's all kinds of awesome. People will run to make out with you. Ok.. if they don't, they certainly should. I mean, if they're cute and all.

* ALSO, since we're talking girl stuff - the M.A.C. Plushglass lipgloss is pheNOMenal. Also also.. it smells like cake. I'm not kidding. They all do. How great is that?! That was the clincher on the sale for me since that is the best ever four-letter word, people. CAKE. Do you HEAR me?! I got it in 'Wildly Lush' and I have been lushing wildly ever since.

* Gorgeous eyes, lush lips, smells good and general all around bad-assness? I mean, why the hell am I still single?! And, yes - this was an official observation. It's asterisked, isn't it?

* Speaking of being available.. I just saw The Bourne Ultimatum.. and I decided I'm saving myself forever for Matt Damon. Ok.. no, not really. He's happily married with baby, but there is some oh-so clever ass-kicking all over the damn place.. and a lot of really hot go-get-em moments and yet none of Matt taking off his shirt or anything, which would've been more disappointing had all the action not sucked me in - but it really did. Action over shirtless Matt? Ok.. I'll take it.. not every day, but this was well worth it.

* Getting a pedicure in the peak of summer is what toes were made for. My feet are so pretty right now they should have their own musical. Even if I have to wear sneakers due to this winter-like weather that has suddenly afflicted us here, which = lame, my toes = still rad.

* I never did get my wisdom teeth removed as a kid because you know why?? Because I had braces for four and a half years. YEARS PEOPLE. You know how long 4 1/2 years is to a kid??? Well, it was the latter half of 8th grade and ALL of high school. When I was getting ready to leave for Norway they were still on and I made a special trip to Mr. Dentist and said, 'Look.. I am NOT going overseas with these babies still on. I think my teeth are straight enough, don't you? Let's get them off oh, say now. Yes?' And he complied. So you'll understand that I've been thru the ringer when it comes to orthodonture. Headgear, many teeth pulled all at once with tears streaming down my adolescent face while four or five doctors looked on, too many appointments for x-rays, novacaine, gauze and numbed and sagging lips and chins. I mean, I HATE going to the dentist, but I've got these top two wisdom teeth that are giving me a hard time. Instead of pointing straight down, they point outwards towards my cheek and always poke at me, like they're pulling a Jackie Chan and trying to kick their way out of my mouth. But you guys.. I'm scared. Do I have to go? Because - and you'll be shocked about this - I haven't been to the dentist in 10 years. Yes, believe it. Is that bad? Before that, it was another 10. Aaaaand the rest of my teeth are so pretty that passers by comment on them all the time and no one believes I haven't seen a dentist in ages (this is because I floss - ("Only floss the ones you want to keep," the last smartypants dentist told me) and use white strips) so you'd think I'd be covered right? Right? Do I really have to go? Ugh.. don't tell me.

* Last but not least, there is a new and exciting development in the works planning for a crazy little trip in just a few weeks and you'd never believe it because it includes things like 1) dirt and 2) camping, which are only high on my list of Things That Annoy Me Or That I Don't Really Like Doing. But, I've been coerced and actually bribed, which still has me shocked, by a couple of lovely girlfriends/cohorts and if I get the time off that I requested, at the end of the month we will all be among the masses here in the Nevada desert. For a week. God help me.

Now, can someone find me a cute boy who is not moving from the area, who isn't crazy with metaphysical spirituality, doesn't lie, doesn't drink too much, doesn't smoke at all, isn't 'working on himself', isn't flakey, isn't scared of the word 'plan' or doing that more than three hours in advance, is uber cute, adorable, funny, smart, thinks I'm all that and a bag of chips, laughs WITH me at all my 80's clichés and digs my Rod Stewart hair in the morning? Like.. before I'm 36 would be lovely. Thanks.

Midsummer Observations

It is shocking - shocking, I tell you - how slow the latter half of July has been considering the first half and all of June were moving at breakneck speeds of all the above-average social butterflyness it could. So I've now had time to catch up on blogs - tho I can see the rest of you and your summers have NOT slowed down in the least because um.. yeah.. you're barely keeping up in the blogosphere [read: GOD I need some rest-of-summer plans] - I've done some shopping, had dinners with friends, drank lots and possibly even extra lots of wine, been pretty rigorous about this working out idea, which is actually less than an idea and more just me being excruciatingly sore in every possible muscle and not getting the least bit tinier overall that I've noticed, had my car fixed (more about that shortly), got a raise, reconnected with an old beau, tried to date a new one that will be moving in October anyway, so yeah, that's going well.. and have been keeping up on The Daily Show and learning more about politics than I should in any given summer.

So you know.. it's going.. just.. a little slowly right now. Tho crap! It's August already. You know what that means for Seattlites? Yeah, um.. summer is just about OVER and all of us here could swear it just began! So yeah.. there's that.

ANYWAY.. I've thought about some things and I'd like to share them with you.

* I am totally losing my eyebrows. NO, it's not because I'm over-plucking. I don't pluck in the middle of my brows where they seem to be thinning. It's just uh.. I'm getting older? Possibly. The hairs are seizing their moment to escape?? More likely. Additional guards are being called in.

* Seriously, if you already thought Jon Stewart was frickin brilliant, last night's Stephen Colbert's The Word, about special prosecuter Alberto Gonzales, was beyond stellar. I'm just wondering how many times Bush can invoke executive privilege and continue to back this guy..

* Tho I really wouldn't use my blog to say how great myspace is, it has done its bit of good and brought me so many new old friends. One being your friend and mine, dear Ammogirl, as well as other scattered high school and college randoms that I never really hung out with actually, but certainly appreciate their vigor in getting my attention and reminding me of who they are. So last Saturday hit a little closer to home when a boy I was completely smitten with my second to last year in college found me. And when I found out he lives just over on the eastside (well, I questioned at first, why the hell would you live over there?!), I was super happy.

So Jasper* and I re-met, caught up over drinks (and snacks, you know I have to have food, people), and I was just genuinely smiley the whole time. Not that I was hoping to reconnect that way - but I always had this affinity for him and he's always been a cuddly sort of guy - tho he'll probably hate me for writing that - but he's just one of those people you feel good being around and I know I need more people like that in my life. So.. yay me! Also, I can tell I talk too much for him.. probably why we never amounted to much.. but as a friend, he's very sweet in putting up with it so far. Bonus!

* I love this girl. I know I bring her up all the damn time, but you have to understand, we are sooooo different that it's kind of funny that we're friends. And then perfect because of exactly that. We've had good chats, done tarot, thrifted, gifted, dressed up, down, and all around, listened, had at least one tiff and at least a couple moments of 'I'd really like it if you didn't do that' sort of thing. Tho sometimes I expect one of us to put her arm up and push the other away a little due to our past experiences, we continue to motion the other to come closer instead. I mean, I'm persistent when I think someone is worth it and I'm just glad she allows me to remain there as one of her friends. Yeah, I pretty much love her to bits.

* Construction in your backyard sucks. Just in case you had no idea or thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad? No no.. it is. My landlord sold the backyard, which is less than 10 feet from my front door (that's around the back of the house mind you), so someone could build two townhouses.. and they started this morning. Let me just say bringing a backhoe thru a tiny alley sounds like a T-Rex stomping thru and then when it bites thru the cute little picket fence that's probably been there since the 50's like it's chomping up it's morning meal.. um.. it's a bit disconcerting. Not to mention loud. Also, the 'construction' guys should leave their seven-year-old kids at home. The ones who shout from my 'front' porch to their dog, which they also shouldn't have brought. Hi. Yeah. Thanks for noticing I sort of live here.

* When in unfamiliar parking territory, maybe look around your car for possible things that you may run over and, in fact, could be out to damage your sweet little ride and cost you oodles of cash to fix. Take my advice.. don't park in the sketchy pull out in front of one of your best friend's gorgeous Cape Cod mansiony houses even tho you love visiting, but just as a precaution remember that blackberry bushes and gravelly grassy areas can hide gigantic cement rocks with rebar in them that were once probably part of a house nearby but turned into blatant debris that was not so blatant at all because YOU DIDN'T SEE IT THERE WHATSOEVER and CRUCNHCRACKELYCRUNCHYMANGLEYCRUNCH was the sound it made as your poor little roadster ran over it and then promptly cried.. cuz OW...... sigh.

* Observation to self: Stop whining about stupid shit when life could change drastically in a matter of moments like it did for many people in Minneapolis when a bridge crossing the Mississippi River collapsed in the middle of yesterday evening's rush hour leaving four people confirmed dead, at least 79 others injured, and 30 or more still unaccounted for. I'm relieved the school bus full of young children trapped on a portion of the broken bridge was evacuated safely, but watching the raw video of the bridge in process of crumbling sincerely took my breath away. My heart and prayers go out to those who have lost loved ones to this accident as well as those who are still waiting to hear. Stupid tragedy. Finger pointing is imminent..

* On a lighter note - it's my little brother's 34th birthday today! I can't believe he's that old and he's doing so well - see his surf shop link here: Wave Hounds. Go there for bikinis, random jewelry, surf boards and gear, and a chat. He or my sister-in-law, Red**, will set you up. And tell him I sent you! Happy birthday little bro!


*Again, he picked the name, but at least this is one of his actual nicknames and it suits him I think. Cute, isn't it?
** Not her real name. See the website silly.

The Right Wing Cares About You, Lindsey

I had to write a quick post after the gym and pre-So-You-Think-You-Can-Dance watching because I was trying to just bust thru my cardio tho hi.. ow.. from my Monday work out of legs and core (people.. I'm SO bad ass these days, I tell you) and I wasn't into watching the silent tv's even tho on my far left was Last Comic Standing and on my far right was the previously mentioned dance show and I couldn't exactly watch that and ruin my whole experience later.. so the one right in front of me would be that show I can hardly stand, of course it's on Fox and something I could barely remember so I had to look it up and guess spellings and whatnot while searching on Google, but it's this very clearly Republican and overly-opinionated show called Hannity and Colmes. As in.. YAAAAAAWWWWWN.

Blahblahblah.. rightwingspeak, rightwingspeak.. AH! Newt Gingrich and oh.. the democrats are such hypocrites.. blahblahblah the liberals suck, right? The usual. Don't care because clearly, I already don't agree with them on principal or in thought and then the screen changes to celebrity newsy stuff and I thought for a moment it had switched to Larry King, the new god of gossip and un-hard-hitting news these days, but no, it was still Haggity Ann or whatever his name is with a clip of Lindsey Lohan and they were talking about her rehab relapse or whatever the latest issue the poor little rich girl has gotten herself into now.

But it wasn't Lindsey they had on.. No, of course not. It was her estranged father. With a plea, people. A fucking PLEA. They literally asked him if he could talk to his daughter, right now, if she was watching.. what would he say to her this very minute. And out came the biggest bunch of Velveeta and for whom I'm not even sure. It went something like, 'Lindsey, I'm your father and I always will be your father and I don't care about your celebrity or what people have been telling you and I'm always going to be here for you no matter what happens and blahblahblaggityblah..' And he continued on and on for like five minutes about how nothing mattered but her and it was too bad people had said these horrible things and the whole time I'm thinking.. they should really rename this show to Hoo & Cares since clearly this girl and her father are not by any means what the world should be discussing but for some reason, still are since they are on every single gossip magazine and every celebrity show on air and I'm craning my neck to read what's going on the tv showing Last Comic Standing since this after-school special on Fox is by far the most annoying thing I've been forced to workout in front of. Can people let it go already? I mean, kids do drugs. They go too far. They get into rehab. Hi. Welcome to Hollywood. I mean, did you just get here or something?! God.

So the girl has some issues, sure.. but I actually like her acting. She was great in Bobby and actually very sweet in Prairie Home Companion, so it's not like she doesn't have skills. She's just going a bit too far as 20-some-olds are apt to do. But to have your own father go on MULTIPLE talk shows.. one being a supposedly weighty politically opinionated show (albeit the far right on the opinions).. to try to tell you how much he cares? Hi.. wouldn't any respect you had left for him plummet out the window faster than your sobriety? Hell, I would pop an 8 ball of speed with a tequila chaser right there. Because how is that helping the poor girl? Maybe shut up already.. Dad. Maybe that's why you have to go thru her attorney to talk to her. I swear.. two brain cells.. and they're fighting.

And Jesus.. could you Half-wit and Come-lately get back to your extreme right political leanings that I can detest with disdain? There's not enough room for you and Entertainment Tonight, ok?

Now can we get back to what really matters? Please? Like who do you think will be voted off So You Think You Can Dance?! Do tell!

Just A Quickie

Hello my pretties..

I know it's been a little while and I haven't really finished my vacation installments.. mainly because I didn't finish my last post while on vacation. Too busy finishing the last of the relaxing I suppose, reflecting and all the family bonding going on. Throw in blogging and it's all a bit too crowded.

So, stuff has been going on. The social life, tho a little on the slow side, is still nonetheless social and there have been events and even a bit of booty shaking, but I just wanted to point out this little film I saw with Boz last night after dining at a new pho spot that did the hunger-satiating trick.

I knew nothing of it, had no idea who was in it or really what to expect except from Boz' brief text description of which all I remembered was 'hit man tries to make good' or something to that effect. And the reviews are crap.. or most of them. It isn't action-packed, it's just fucking well written, which you and I both know must not be what sells movies and is under-appreciated and also, doesn't happen a lot these days. So I'm just saying.

Dry humor, direct and quirky.. equals a damn funny couple of hours if you ask me. Both Boz and I gave it enthusiastic thumbs up - or in my case - a vigorous poke of the pitchfork. Um.. something like that. Either way, go see it. It rocked my socks.

Caution: Work Still In Progress

It’s Friday and the vacation week has hardly registered that it’s the standard end of the usual work week when every day here has felt like a wide-open and unplanned Saturday.

The last few days have been easy and enjoyable with no deadlines and no timeframes to feel pressured to meet. And tho communication with Seattle friends has been limited to sending picture messages and video clips simply rubbing in the beauty of the coast and my vacation while they are working, Pixie found herself in my vacation neighborhood on Wednesday.

She whisked me away after meeting the aunts, uncles and miniature cousin on a short afternoon trip to Manzanita – the hippie junction of the Oregon Coast, we discovered. We wandered tourist-trappy shops, searched for a café with wireless internet as I was needing a fix, but it wasn’t exactly comfortable.. and then we topped it off with grilled veggie sandwiches that were to-die-for and a bit of ice cream and maybe a taste of a decadent brownie before we headed back to my family to join them for dinner, conversation and cribbage.

Thursday morning, Pix took off after a quick bite to adventure on her own for the rest of her vacation and I headed in the other direction to Cannon Beach to find my own solace before my mom arrived. I found a charming café with wireless for the small price of a limonata and apple muffin and off I was back in the world of The Connected.

Three hours later, I ventured back to the house with supplies in tow for the brood because I wanted to be helpful (and I couldn’t validate that much time on the computer without doing so mind you), Mom and her husband arrived shortly thereafter..... and things sort of went downhill from there.

Of course it’s not that terrible. We all have our moments of regression with our parents – or I imagine you all do when it’s probably only me who’s left metaphorically stomping feet these days - and when I don’t see Mom for long periods of time, it just takes a simple lack of her saying an immediate ‘hello’, this dark cloud moves over me and I feel overwhelmingly unloved. Oh the tragedy! But a bit of misunderstanding is normal with us and then someone breaks the communication ice and forces an explanation of the well-I-thought-you-were-reading-and-ignoring-me and then there are hugs and the of-course-I-love-you-silly’s and all is [sheepishly] forgotten, appropriate age of the only resident 35-year-old restored.. ahem.

Still, sometimes I just forget how to be a grown up around my mom and hence, the rest of my family. I claim I’m adult and act that way in my professional life and most of the time around my friends, but when there is tension with relatives, I forget that discussion is always the best solution and revert to being pouty, cool and selfish, words are short but hang in the air with a bite, and people are left a bit stung.

Pixie had waffled on whether or not she wanted to head home today or tomorrow and I convinced her s’more making was imminent and her attendance was required. She came exuberant and prepared for the day and even readily accepted the last minute assigned position of Chief Engineer to Maeve’s impromptu Sand Castle Condo Project. Oh, she had ideas and they were executed brilliantly. After construction completed, quite ahead of schedule I’d say, we bathed our sandy selves in the sun and chatted with one of my twin 17-year-old cousins, Abby, that had arrived the night before who had made her way down to the beach to hang with the bikini clad.

Now, I used to live on the coast just south of here.. and I still have friends nearby I wanted to see. I sort of thought I could fit everyone in during this visit of seven gorgeously unplanned days because that is what I do with my time in Seattle normally. But when I said that Pix would stay another night AND that this old friend and her two children were joining for the next afternoon to see me, one of my aunts visibly became uncomfortable and I realized clearly, I’d stepped over a line.

In retrospect, I should’ve asked. This really was qualified as Family Time and I wasn’t helping to protect that. I seemed ungrateful and as tho I was taking advantage.. and looking at it, I see that I acted like a teenager so I shouldn’t have been surprised that I was talked to like one. But I did shut down, became defensive and passive aggressive later.. and basically, just sort of a brat. I mean, I know how to fight with my mom.. I’ve done it forever and tho it’s completely dysfunctional, that's how we are. My other relatives aren’t part of that broken-ness. They are still parents and make mistakes, but they talk to their kids, they admit where they go wrong when they realize it and call their kids on their crap when they see that too, but mostly in a productive manner. Hi.. I am SO not used to that.

So Pix left, very graciously, an apologetic phone call to my girlfriend who lives south was made taking back the invite I never should’ve offered – and it took til the next night to really fix that with my aunt because I was embarrassed, felt ashamed for acting like a child.. and also, because I felt so awkward at not knowing how to reach out and fix it. I knew she loved me and wasn't angry, but there was part of me who didn’t believe either of those things at all, which was ridiculous.*

The whole thing made me realize I still have so much to work on as a person. I am really flawed, which is ok. It's why people walk away tho.. and some move in closer.. and some don't know what to think other than I'm annoying. Sometimes I think I'm so old.. but I act like such a bratty kid. I feel young and about 26.. but I'm four and a half years short of 40 people.. really.. it feels like something in my life should be much more established and I should've figured things out by now, but I'm still wandering, still trying to figure out where I need work, what I've learned and how not to make the same mistakes.

I think falling into a nap while reading a good book in the sun sounds like the best way to cure these vacation ills.. This growing up stuff is really exhausting!

*GOD I should become a therapist so I can REALLY psycho-analyze myself and figure out why I do this shit.. honestly!

Forever Young

I’m sitting here, my second full day at Arch Cape and I’m behind in writing about Ammogirl’s Seattle visit. Now since I’m at the beach and easily a good three days behind in blog writing and reading, I have to be honest and say that writing wasn’t the biggest priority before I left due to all I had to do before I headed out. But I will do my best to cover all the territory I can here.

You know when you encounter people in your life that you instantly feel comfortable with and you make them friends or you gravitate to them in some way and it’s just a good feeling? Well.. Treena is one of those people. Kari is as well, but I have been friends with her since my sophomore year. When Treena showed up and we started on the very beginnings of reminiscing, it was clear that the borders high school created were the only reasons we weren’t closer to Treena during that time because she is so much like us. I felt like no time had even passed between high school graduation and 17 plus years. Tho she and Kari have both had children, we all felt like girls together, giggling and telling stories of people we used to know, boys we used to be ‘madly’ in love with, etc. We cooked, we drank, we played with Kari’s girls, we shopped, and we even dared open at least one yearbook, which was frightening.. and the whole time I kept thinking.. how did I not know this girl better? But high school is filled with every kind of possible insecurity and awkwardness and the main goal is just trying to fit in and possibly in a way that isn’t completely noticeable because if someone does chance to see it, you’re certain to be ridiculed at some point. Know what I mean?

So Treena arrived on the Wednesday a week before July 4th.. and I was pretty much at Kari’s house every day after work for the rest of the work week. No plans were made for anyone else because when a friend comes from Germany to hang out with you, hi.. you spend the time. So when Kari had some wifely priorities on Friday, I stole the guest of honor and dragged her into the city for pub food and improvisational comedy-type merriment.. something she’d never actually experienced. We invited Loren and the three of us enjoyed some VERY strong martinis, quite a few laughs during the show.. and yours truly, Miss D, FINALLY won something!!! I made the best suggestion during this particular improv show and not only did I win two passes to any improv show after that, but I won two, that’s T-W-O superballs each with a little plastic baby in them.. one white and one black…… Yes.. ok.. ew. But hey.. I won SOMETHING! WHOO HOO!

And tho I was a bit overzealous in procuring dessert after the show, we did end up in Capital Hill with many types of baked sugar forms in front of us before the one o’clock am hour. I really don’t think any of us needed it tho.

Painfully tired, Treena and I headed back to my house, but tho we tried to sleep, we talked like teenage girls having a sleep-over for about an hour before we managed closing our eyes for the night. Must’ve been the sugar high, but it still made us both smile. Friends are good, you know?

Saturday, Kari joined us for brunch and shopping. We wandered with no purpose, dined on gourmet chocolates and Vietnamese coffees, found our way to the movies to see Evening, which is a total chic-flic-tear-jerker and a movie you should see when you’re with long-time friends and we finished with wine and conversation on the eastside so we could wake up and spend the whole last day with Kari and her family.

We languished as long as possible over meals and drinks.. naps in the sun, watching the girls do various gymnastics and dance performances for all of us.. and tried to take in the overdue catching up as much as we could without ever feeling like we were really forcing it. It was all just easy and fun and was just as much a vacation as this time at the beach is really.. just a different sense of family for me and just as rewarding.

I think as we’ve all grown older, it’s easier to erase the bullshit of the past and latch onto what’s positive about the future because in the big picture, what does the history matter? What matters is now. Bonds, friendship, a sense of belonging, trust and loyalty that would take a lot more than distance and dorky high school memories to damage. There’s a sense of ageing together, the aching bodies, the limitations, the wishes that were never fulfilled, and the insecurities that might still be there, but have long since been reduced to miniscule status.. and you can see yourself in your friends’ eyes, which are so warm and welcoming that you spend all your time smiling and suddenly, the time has flown by and you’re at your last moments with each other until an undetermined ‘next time.’

I feel old from Treena’s visit.. but in a good way. I would kill for my 17-year-old metabolism, but there was a new vision once I hit 30.. and it just keeps getting better as the years have passed. I have a totally different life than either Treena or Kari and you can’t say it’s better or worse – and neither would they – it’s just different.. but not one of us would wish for those high school days again.. no no.. even at the price of getting older, we are grateful to have all that over with. Just don’t call us ladies.. ok? And really.. no ma’am’s either.. are we clear? I think we established that we’ll be ‘girls’ forever.

Pretty Close To Paradise

The drive to the Oregon Coast on Sunday felt like driving one long stretch of the same road over and over. It wasn’t at all like last year, which felt like no time had passed and voilà! Beach! Family! Wine! No.. this year it was like I wasn’t getting anywhere, but add in driving behind an RV or slow-going truck that was moving 10 miles under the already 55 mph limit the whole way on a two-lane windy road that made it impossible to pass anyone. Snore..

I literally drove in on fumes having no luck in finding a gas station even 25 miles before I reached Arch Cape. Only the diesel station for said RV’s holding me up from arriving at my destination. But once I was finally out of the car, there were only welcoming arms of my family extended in big hugs and offering a much needed glass of red wine. Then almost immediately, a small voice came from behind all the adult legs, and my teensy little five-year-old cousin, Maeve, said, “Welcome to Arch Cape,” with a bright and shiny grin. “Come have some soup!” And she grabbed my hand, took me out on the deck to the ice chest where she was making her seafood ‘soup’, gave it to me in a crab shaped sand toy and I knew my vacation had begun.

Day 1: We woke up to a grey and windy day and I hoped this wasn’t the sort of thing we’d have to deal with the entire time here. I grew up in Lincoln City, just a couple of hours south from here where a summer day was 60 if you were lucky and you always wore a windbreaker. But my aunts assured me the fog would lift by afternoon and we would be sitting on the deck in the sun in no time. And it was kind of funny cuz they kept saying, “Oh it’s definitely brightening,” as the day wore on when in fact, it still looked the same color of grey and white outside to me, but I smiled at their enthusiasm.

We went into Seaside for some errands, came back and realized we’d forgotten the Beach Essentials of hot dogs and s’more makings, but there was still plenty of time since it was just us adults and 1 precocious five-year-old til Thursday. We had wine. We would live.

Actually, we went thru about three bottles of that just at dinner alone. My aunt Chris was drunk and funny. My uncles told stories of growing up I’d never heard before, which included a particularly funny one about my dad at 15 being chased by my very angry grandpa to the upstairs of their house and Dad being desperate enough to jump out the second-story window because he didn’t want to get caught and whipped for whatever it was he’d done.. how my grandparents actually were pretty strict and how the four boys they had drove my grandmother crazy at times, how that compared to the parents they’ve all become and the mischievous things we all did growing up in the name of rebellion. It was enlightening and lovely just to be there with everyone and to be appreciated as an adult along with them.

We ended our first full day by taking in the many stars you just can’t see when you live in a city. The sky was breathtaking, honestly. We found the Big Dipper and pointed out the Milky Way, which my aunt Chris had actually never been shown in school like the rest of us had.. and when they all went in, I waited until I saw a good sized falling star, closed my eyes, made a wish and said my goodnights.

Day 2: The sun had come out the day before, but it wasn’t until very late in the afternoon and it didn’t last very long. Today was a different story. It was HOT! While one aunt and two uncles headed out to Manzanita for a second day of 9-hole-golf, my aunt Elizabeth, her daughter, Maeve, and I decided we’d have our first sunny adventure down on the beach. Holy Global Warming, people! The wind was so warm it felt like it was coming straight out of a heater. I thought for sure someone had exchanged the Oregon coast for the California one while we were sleeping, but no.. we were certainly in the right place. Bathing suits were revealed, sunscreen lathered on, sandals removed and off we were for a long and leisurely walk while Maeve chased the seagulls and we all searched for the prized and unbroken sand dollars.

My freckles are coming out from their hiding places very comfortably now. My eyes have sparkled a lot more just from the relaxed sense of having to do nothing if I want.. or read a book for a whole hour even.. and I have taken more than my share of naps in the last two days as well. Right in the middle of the day! My aunts give me hugs and kisses for no reason, tell me how great it is that I’m here with them, we make incredible food, drink amazing wine and play pretend everything with Maeve who has one of the biggest vocabularies I’ve ever heard from a child of five.

And to think there are still five more full days of this…

Something Old, Something New

Today, Princess Lulu turns one year old. What a little treasure she is..

And there is so much to tell you all.. but right now I must head to her birthday party. Suffice it to say, vacation has begun and tomorrow I will be heading here:


I know.. you are mad with jealousy. And there will be plenty of time to catch you all up on a recent visitors, the mishap involving a large cement rock/rebar combo and my shiny car - oh yes, it had to happen - and other events.. but one mustn't be late to a princess' first birthday.

Ta for now lovelies!

Summer Social Experimenting

My favorite house in Vancouver. Doesn't it look like a little gnome lives there??

It has been an interesting week of socializing with new dates, old friends.. and very little sleep between all of it. Summer has officially started and tho it doesn't always feel like it here and we're often waiting for the real warmth to kick in, when the leather seats in the car are too hot to sit on with a short skirt or lean against in the tank with the bare back you're wearing, you know you can rest assured this is as good as it's going to get.

Now, the beginning of the week started out a bit on the frightening side of things because I sat for two hours with Boz in front of my tv watching An Inconvenient Truth. Uh.. hi. Scariest thing I've seen.. oh.. EVER. How is no one fixing this? How am I not?! How are we all not freaking the fuck out?! That's what I want to know. I wanted to join every environmental group possible after I watched it, quit my job, sell my car, live in a tee-pee and wear nothing but natural fibers and not brush my teeth.. but then I remembered, I can't actually do that. And I just took my wasteful and selfish excuse of a self and went to work the next day like normal in my very uneconomical and horribly-bad-for-the-ENTIRE-WORLD car. Like oh.. everyone else does.. Sigh.. how are we all not raging alcoholics from the sheer pressure of it all?!

After all that depressing information, I figured some brevity was in order. Staying up late has just happened rather accidentally quite often and I'm going to blame it on Pixie because I'm just trying to keep up with her new schedule of freedom these days. I mean, let's face it.. who wouldn't want the entire summer off just to play? Especially with a friend who's up for just about anything.

We managed to get ourselves together and meet up at this great movie theater, The Central Cinema, which pretty much shows whatever it wants.. and when they'd advertised the weekend of playing Fame, mostly to honor gay pride weekend, we hardly needed the Gays Of Our Lives contingent to be excited to see this together - plus, they all had plans. So on Wednesday, Kat, Paul, Pix and myself hit the 10pm show, laughed at the cheesy parts, pointed out the actors we recognized, sang at the top of our lungs during the movie's theme song and just giggled at the memories (and the horrible fashions). Pixie got to sleep in the next morning and take a luxurious walk whenever she wanted the next afternoon.. and I yawned thru most of my day. Um.. yeah.. I'm not bitter.. I can sleep when I'm dead. This is what I'm telling myself anyway.

Then, yes, there were some lovely dates.. and I'm staying mum about those for the moment. Suffice it to say, I had a good time and there will be more things like that happening. There are a couple of wild cards out there and only time will tell. I'm just enjoying things as they happen and thinking positively.

Finally, the Friday workday was completed and I was on the road north to my Canadian home away from home in Vancouver, BC. Tho my night was rather uneventful because my friend, Shay, and I were both wiped out from our busy weeks, it was good to catch up and see him a little since he left the next day to prepare for his half Iron Man triathlon.. which hi.. ow. I mean.. I couldn't do a quarter Iron Man, let alone a half of one. Do you guys know what this consists of?? Just listening to him wore me out: a mile and a half swim, a 65 mile (SIXTY FIVE PEOPLE) bike ride and then a 22K run (12 something miles).. holy exhaustion Batman. I would be crippled. So let's just say that I was in awe. Plus he's like the funniest person alive. Seriously. What's funnier is the deal we have that if we're not married by 40, we'll marry each other. But we're both hoping that doesn't happen cuz years ago when we dated for oh.. all of three minutes, clearly we weren't a good match.. but if we happen to get desperate enough.. hey.. laughter never sucks. And he could save me if I was ever almost drowning.. and run for help. Bonus!

Saturday, after a quick breakfast with Shayster before he had to leave, I met up with the fabulous Lady Miss Marquise who I haven't seen since last summer. Freshly returned home from her trip to Vietnam, we had giggly conversations about the outrageous people we'd both met and/or finally dispersed of.. the dramas were relayed and witty comebacks admired.. and mostly we just enjoyed being girls together.

There was a small emergency panic break when my card was declined in one store and then the ATM afterwards before I called the bank and found out that, hi.. a fraud alert had been placed on my card.... ???!! They were concerned by the gas I'd purchased that morning when it came back to them listed as Toronto Something Or Other. I told them I was in Canada and tho not in Toronto, the gas company is probably based there. Seeing that they'd been an eensy bit over-zealous, the alert was removed and in seconds, actually, I was back to breathing normally and happily over-spending as usual.

This of course brings on a new responsibility when you travel, right? Of course you update your family and friends regarding your whereabouts and hell, Loren and I always send our itineraries to each other so someone knows exactly where we are and when we'll be there and back and on what flights - just in case. But now you need to add to that list of priority notifications.. your bank?! I mean, I sincerely appreciate their astounding due diligence.. but hi.. it was just gas! Not like gas for a jet plane touring internationally or anything. There were no stops at jewelry stores or outlandish shopping sprees. $30 worth of gas. That's the red flag?! I'm just saying.. maybe someone ought to look at that process there, you know.. um.. it's a thought.

Once that misunderstanding was resolved, we carried on with our day. I dropped off Jules so she could disco-nap before our evening out later and then headed back to Shay's in North Van by wrong way of West Van, which caused me to get lost, which was totally awesome.. and by awesome I mean, completely irritating cuz we all know how expensive gas is in the states, but in Canada, it's about one gold bar per liter and I have no frickin idea how much that really is cuz hi! Metrics! What the f?

Almost worse than that, I discovered something new about North Vancouverites: they don't have to get anywhere. You know how I can tell? Well, the tell-tale sign is driving NO miles an hour. Seriously. And it's not just one guy. No, honestly, it's everyone. You know why I know that too? Because I was the only speed racer to be found ANYWHERE. True story - 40km. You know what that is in miles per hour people? NOTHING. Like there are NO miles being driven at ANY hour in my opinion. 40km is like 20 mph, which is practically the opposite of moving at all! You might as well say, 'Honey, let's go to dinner,' and then STAY HOME if you're going to drive that slow because you AREN'T MOVING at 40km. No, I'm telling you, you aren't.

Despite that fact, eventually I was picking up friends Ali, Jules and Courtney, for fun-having at the Solstice party thrown by some other friends of mine I hadn't seen in at least two years. There were hugs for everyone and drinks and a little dancing and more drinks.. and some chatty chat caused by too many drinks of some new and sexy maple syrup-infused whisky that changed my whole view about whisky people! It's called Sortiledge and you can't find it in the states apparently cuz this site is the only one that ships from Canada to the US and how sad was I when I read 'Temporarily Out Of Stock'?! SO sad, that's how!! But if y'all are somewhere else.. ohmygod - go get some NOW! A-mazing!

Lady Miss Marquise never likes her picture taken.. and she allowed 2 that night! Such a shiny treasure she is. Don't mind my hair.. it wasn't cooperating..

One of the loves of my life - Ali - and his western look for the night.

And another picture of fantastic girls.. Lady Miss Marquise and Courtney.

And since there was some mixing of alcohols and much staying up late, there was also some being hung over as well and a so-not-charming searing headache that I had to power thru til I crossed state-side and arrived home. I'd said goodbye to my lovely Canuck cohorts, brunched (or tried to considering my churning tummy) at The Reef, and did a bit of shopping around the boutiques of East Van enjoying the gorgeous day - when Mother Nature got crabby, the clouds rolled in and WHAM! Torrential downpour. The rain came and went in varying degrees of sprinkle to something that maybe resembled driving underneath Niagara Falls and it just kept following me south with flashes of lightening and booming thunder.

But there'll hopefully be none of that this week because we are now officially into T-minus 48 hours and Ammogirl arrives! Oh I fear the city of Seattle and surrounding areas will not know what to do with the likes of all my favorite blogger girls in one room. The energy will hardly be able to be contained! I promise to share pictures as soon as we have them. Now I hope y'all have yourselves a debaucherous week as I plan on having! Mwah!

Thinking, Aching, Golfing, & Celebrating

My head is a bit fuzzy because I think I've come down with a lovely combination of viruses that may have formerly been homeless. Now they've shacked up in my insides and might be picking out curtains. I'm feeling rather hurty and icky and yes, those are the technical terms.

I left work before noon and was in bed as soon as I came in the door. Emma didn't know what to think, but cuddled right up to me anyway with a look that if I was going to go back to bed, so was she. And there we slept for 5 straight hours. Hard.

I was supposed to be going out to celebrate Mrs. Pixie's new sense of freedom in the form of unemployment, which I am oh so excited about for her, but I sat up and my head = woozy and the body, achey.. and therefore it was determined the only thing I would be doing other than going back to sleep as soon as possible, would be finding my way to my kitchen to make something to eat, tho I want/ed to hurl at even having the idea, but I made myself anyway and I still a) feel tons of nausea and b) don't feel any better whatsoever at all. Poo.

While killing time trying to digest food I really couldn't taste, I was doing blog research (read: checking out who has linked to me recently) and people! I, Miss Devylish, have been granted a Thinking Blog Award! TWICE! Were you aware this possibility was out there? I tell you it was news to me! And that, you know, sometimes people actually think because of things I wrote! I know it's incredibly hard to believe, but it seems to be true! The darling girl over at Finnspace and the very kind Popeye both were tagged by individuals who are fans of their sites and they, in turn, tagged me (like IN APRIL! Hi! Where was I?!), and I must say how terribly flattered I am. They said some very nice things and I maybe blushed.

So now it's my turn to tag 5 blogs that make me think (tho I'm posting more than that because I was mentioned twice so I'm giving myself more room here, thank you.):

1. Miss Doxie: She is the reason I began blogging in the first place and my favoritest writer on the InterWeb EVER due to her amazing gift at humor. She is random and creative and a great word-maker-upper and then she'll suddenly throw in something so incredibly touching about the people and dogs in her life and you are right there with her and just a mess of tears, but she always lifts my spirits and my co-workers are always wondering what the hell I'm giggling about.

2. The Dog's Name and Charming, But Single: Indy is one of the better male bloggers out there, in my opinion, and I'm putting him with Charming because I don't link to many sites that are dedicated to discussing the trials and tribulations of dating, but I think the two of them combined are basically the best he said/she said sites out there and I hope they don't mind that I think that. He reminds me of most of the men I know: smart, flirty, thinks you look good in those jeans and her dating life reminds me of how little luck I'm having - but she's funnier and writes better (and she's actually probably luckier than I've been lately.).

3. The Writing Life and Ammogirl: These women have special places in my heart because they have known me for a large portion of my life and knew who I was before I ever even thought of creating this InterWeb alias. Kari has so much she wants to share and she takes everything life throws at her and writes for the feel of creating and for therapy, so she can grow and understand all that she's trying to control, but can't, which makes her incredibly human, identifiable, and endearing. Treena is just crazy, in a good way, and she and I relate by way of made-up words, over-italicizing and over-capitalization because we are just trying to get our points across with every ounce of enthusiasm (or frustration, which ever applies) we are possibly feeling right at that moment that we must get out and I'm always excited by that kind of sister energy.

4. Pomgirl, Sometimes Funny Is All I Have, and ... Mishaps, Missteps, And Manecdotes: These English, or practically English, birds are listed together because they have brought me infinite joy and with any read have provoked me to think long and hard.. or just laugh a lot - like Pom, for example. The last line of her most recent post says, "I got paid today and bought sweets, and it made me very happy." Now isn't this something that just brings the smiling back to your face? It does mine. She's bravely honest when she lets you in more personally, but then she puts up a very icky picture of the largest spider ever in her house and tells you she's named it Bob. What's not to love?! We will meet and share drinks and candy one day!

While Léonie, an aspiring singer/songwriter is never overrun with pretention or angst and just comes across as a darling girl trying to follow her dream. She also loves magical ponies, shoes, Charmed, and taking pictures of herself in pub bathrooms. She's witty without ever a mean spirit about her and I'm quite fond of her.

And then there's Lady Miss Marquise, who's come all the way from the UK to live in BC and has become a Real Life Friend of mine, but who's also now on an official blogging break. Still, she's worth mentioning because she's painfully intelligent in her writing and she always grabs me with how she can bring out the beauty in a single moment.. or the awkwardness in the realization of a mistake. Things we all may see and do, but don't necessarily write about as cleverly as she does. I miss her.

5. Pixie Rising: Last, but certainly not least, Mrs. Pix does something a lot of bloggers do, which is to write in short little bursts a bit here and there, but tho I'm probably biased, she continually reminds me that not everything needs shared. Some things are nice if kept to yourself but here.. look.. she found something special. It's a lot of little lovely things and you don't need to schedule a whole lot of time to breathe it in.. it just takes a moment and she's touched you. Plus I rather like her pictures and her choice of music.

There! Now.. your turn if you like.

The rules are only these:
1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.
2. Link to this post (from The Thinking Blog) so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote.
**********************

Not to forget the fun that was had last weekend as well, I must mention Seattle Urban Golf 2007. I did this last year with friends and Pixie and I had so much fun we forged on again this year. Nine holes and as many bars. Holy lightweights.. There were costumes of mimes and cowgirls in plaid socks and plaid-er dresses and tho it rained this year, our fervor couldn't be dampened.. oh no, it could not! So I leave you with a few of my favorite shots and you are welcome to view the whole thing complete with comments and fancy notes here.

Again, congrats Pixie! So much love!

You all take your vitamins now you hear me? I'm going back bed! Nighty night!

Oh The Lure Of Watching Famous People

There is. A lure, that is. Don't you think? I mean, watching ordinary people is fine.. entertaining even, but once in a while, I want to see famous people doing various things like.. um.. acting maybe.. and making me laugh - that's a good one - and if they can sing too.. bonus!

Now.. going to jail is something altogether different, adding more shock and awe value than actual merriment, especially when there are tears and screaming and the viscious reality check that celebrity doesn't buy you a Get Out Of Jail Free card.. or rather, revokes said card when the press waves it around all over the news in your honor. Oops.

So we did a bunch of this watching of the famous people, or tried and failed in one case, and I'm here to relay all events that transpired.

Boz and I made our way to Neil's who was having a lovely little barbeque a week ago last Sunday afternoon. I had just finished attending Wendy's bridal shower on the hottest day of Almost-Summer so far and was full of vim and vigor (read: cake). And the day was gorgeous and food was being grilled and eaten and we were all chatting and there was a little awkwardness because we didn't really know anyone and everyone was keeping to their own mostly, but we couldn't think of anything else to do while it was so nice.. and then BOOM! Thunder and lightening and rain! And oh! I know! Let's go to a movie! Ok!

We saw Knocked Up and you should run, don't walk, to see this movie. Hilariously good times! Oh the fun and enjoyment! And Paul Rudd is frickin adorable.

Tuesday, The Jedi came into town and we met up with our friends, Kristen and Keith at The Rendezvous for some HBO-sponsored thing for the Flight Of The Conchords because we thought it might be a different thing to do.. noting the promised 'open bar' and 'New York-style catered bites' and the first episode of this comedy duo's show, tho laughs were secondary to.. the free food and drink, of course.. yay! But.. and you knew it was just too good to be true, didn't you.. we noticed something amiss when 'open bar' was actually defined as 'beer and wine only' and the actual screening itself became an occupied-to-capacity theatre when the two 12-year-old girls hosting the party couldn't get it together to bring people from the bar to the theatre like they said they would, so we realized people were moving and by the time we asked about it, it was too late. A 9pm showing was offered.. and thusly, scoffed at because hi.. we arrived on time and asked appropriate questions at how this was going to work.. and were still denied. But they felt so badly about it that they offered us t-shirts. Um.. yeah.. that'll do it, thanks. Not to mention that we waited for the amazingly catered food and were already wondering what exactly that was going to be and when we saw it was seriously only four different kinds of over-fried samosas, we all sort of nodded, left, and went to get Mexican food.

So, tho there were no celebrities, or even semi-celebrities, that night, Wednesday overshadowed the rest of the week by delivering us to fabulous seats at Key Arena to see The Police. Ohhh.. people.. God. I. Love. Sting. I do. I know, I know.. he's become incredibly too mellow for some of you.. and a little too jazzy for me.. but like that mattered. No, I say.. NO! It did not! Watching him smile and sing all my favorite Police songs FINALLY.. was absolutely thrilling! Did I almost get into a fight with the stoners who had to sit directly in front of us when they decided to light up? Well, ok.. yes.. but once we got them to knock that shit off (and they practically passed out after), nothing could shake the sheer joy I felt being there. I mean, yes, of course, Andy Summers looked like he was literally about to keel over and was hardly having a good time and yes, it took them all the way thru the first two songs, Message In A Bottle and Don't Stand So Close To Me to sound like they were in sync, but then again, I'd heard a lot of the popular songs were rearranged here and there so I justified the off-ness to my poor hearing, even tho I knew better, and sang every word with an ear-to-ear grin. Two encores later and a frickin GORGEOUS version of Every Breath You Take.. and I was so in heaven walking back to the car.

I do love Sting, but I'm no longer in love anymore cuz hi.. he is aging, tho rather well.. however, I should be thinking of someone closer to my own age, don't you think, which is why I do have a new crush on the band that opened, Fiction Plane. Could the lead singer, and bass player, fyi, be Sting's son, Joe Sumner? Um.. yeah.. and could he be sexier? Um.. no.. especially since he sounds so much like Sting it's kind of freaky at times. I love the Two Sisters single.. and tho they were panned by both of the local paper's reviewers here as unmemorable and boring, I thought they were pretty damn cool, but then as we all know, I have no taste and am completely distracted by cute, lead singers. I'm totally ok with that.

Now.. Crowded House is reuniting and will be here for Bumbershoot this year.. go on.. ask me.. WHO is on frickin Cloud 9? Oh.. you know the answer.

This week in pictures: Urban Golf 2007! June has barely started and is just going to keep getting better and better. You just wait.

Hate Needs Love Too

Tho I've really felt a positive pull and have had a very good first half of the year (knock on wood), I've been tagged by the charming Pomgirl and it's been a while since I've done a meme - so I obliged.. It's always good to get the bitching out just in case it's building for an explosion, right? It's my own personal charity to the world. No need to thank me now.. You can just send wine/chocolate/money at your earliest convenience.

The 10 Things I Hate Most In Other People:

1. The thought that voting for George W. was a good idea and still is
When you have a guy with a history of running four (FOUR!!) companies into bankruptcy and oh.. general daddy-will-get-me-out-of-anything type thinking combined with well-documented drug and alcohol abuse, what sort of leader do you think you're going to get? And then you vote for him AGAIN?! We will have to agree to disagree, but if you could refrain from breeding, many of us would appreciate it.

2. Inconsiderate-and-not-thinking-of-others-ness
Turn off lights in rooms where you are not, clean the red lint from your nasty laundry out of the dryer and don't leave it there for me to remove, read what can be recycled (paper, plastic containers), what can't (all lids associated with said containers, singular plastic grocery bags), and put in the proper bins (glass does NOT go in the green container, it goes in the brown one, marked frickin 'GLASS.'), take off your shoes when you live in a hardwood-floored home and have neighbors who live below you because wearing clogs ALL DAY EVERY DAY is not neighborly at all. How hard is it, really??

3., 4., 5., & 6. The lack of the necessary skills most people need to be good drivers, ie., unable to merge, drive the speed limit, to find their way or signal
Don't stop the traffic behind you because you are too scared to use that pedal under your right foot that makes your car go. Merging means to blend yourself in, but with the flow of traffic. If you slow or stop everyone else, you are failing miserably. Simple as that.

Also, go. Like.. today. See that sign? It's says 60 or even 70 at times. That does not mean 50 or even 55. You are on the freeway. If you want to go slower, that is where the far right lane comes in. Don't take your self-righteous I'm-going-fast-enough attitude to the far left where I am trying to pass your slow-as-molasses ass. I have places to be and I'd like to get there. If you don't want to arrive til tomorrow, be my guest.. but MOVE OVER.

If you don't know where you are going, don't get on your cell phone and go slower because you are dialing your friend who can't give you good directions OR pull out a map from the passenger-side door, which you can barely reach. Pull over and stop. That doesn't mean stop in front of me when you should be going 35. No, it doesn't. It means pull over in a driveway, off the shoulder, into a gas station, but for the love of Pete, get off the damn road!

Hi. Yes.. you Mr. Driver of very expensive, power everything, tinted-windowed and new BMW/SUV/Audi. I think that car came with turn signals, did it not? Or did you opt for the lower-end model that somehow didn't have them added? I don't think so. I think you took that option of the bronze-handled stick shift and 18 speaker stereo, individual dvd player for every 2.5 child who will be sitting in back, and offer of a blowjob if you buy TODAY from the over-eye-make-up'd sales woman on the eastside in order to get this fine piece of German design and you are just choosing, by nature of being a complete moronic jackass, to not use those signals so cleverly included because you are just too good for them and everyone behind you that you have clearly cut off should've read your fucking mind.

7. Not looking after your children
The fact you are in a restaurant does not give you free reign to allow your toddler to throw a variety of whatever you're feeding them and/or demanding from the waitstaff (more crackers) all over the floor. Just because you aren't at home doesn't mean someone else should clean up after your child. Keep these thoughts in mind as you let them run rampant in the grocery store, maniacally harass the neighbor's dog, and generally destroy things that aren't theirs. I can't wait to see where they get in life with that level of discipline.. um.. Riker's maybe?

8. No ability to plan
Ok.. so I'm just saying, can't we find a happy medium between um.. my preferred brand of two weeks in advance and your oh.. three hours? Please?! I can if you can.. but 'Let's talk about it then' and 'If it's meant to happen, it will' sort of thinking is KILL-ING MEEE.. I would take even a 48-hour call. I'm a spontaneous girl. I'm fully fine with that, but then don't send me a text that day or even the day after and say 'Oh well, maybe next time' or 'Raincheck?' because.. yeah.. duh.. obviously.

9. Spelling issues
Ok.. I'm guilty of this when I want to make a point and I think hyphenated and gross capitalization of your completely made-up words are part of being creative (not to mention comic genius), but make some sense with them, ok? And I really have to draw the line at these: their and there, your and you're, to and too, it's and its. Know. The. Difference. I mean, c'mon.. my 7-year-old niece knows better. I will give you that affect and effect are tougher.. those get me every time, and you should be able to emphasize your 'ninja skilz' with your favorite z.. whatever Treena but these are basic.. eensy even. So if you hit on me on myspace with a 'your hotttttt,' I can assure you that we will have no future other than that of 'delete.'

10. Your dishes*
I know it's so much more effort to get to the sink rather than just setting that peanut-buttered knife on the counter, but unless you think it might wander to the sink and wash itself, which it won't - not even after three days - it will require you picking it up and cleaning up its mess afterwards. Also, you should know that clean dishes - whether in a dish rack or dishwasher - don't walk themselves to the cupboards like magic either. Fyi.

Phew! Well.. I feel WAY better now! How about you, you or hey, you? Anyone else?

*This has nothing to do with my current roommate who is GREAT actually - this just means historically those I may have co-habitated with and not in any romantic level cuz that would mean I may not have minded so much as I've minded in certain other times so very not romantic but actually way more annoying.

The Goose Has Been Spruced!

Hi y'all! Look at me! The Fancy InterWeb Pants have arrived! Complete with actual bling and fire and an oh-so-cute devil girl and everything! Do you love it?! Ok.. if you don't, don't tell me.. but I'm so madly in love with my new page that we may need some private time together.

So I have to give credit to a couple of people here.. First of all, these designs wouldn't exist without the magic of Evilkid Productions and some of the desktop designs on his site, which, when discovered, I didn't hesitate to email him and ask his permission to use.. because you know.. his art and I would never want to steal all his fancy-pantsness he created himself! How rude! Then there is this very nice man named Art, who did all this tweaking of said designs that I had permission to borrow. He's amazing and quick like a bunny.. and very VERY cool! His site is called Living Paint Studios so if you need something, you should send him a note, tell him I sent you, and pay him well because you won't be sorry.. oh no you won't! Would I steer you wrong? Not even!

In other news: 5, that's FIVE DAYS, until the magic of The Police baby! There will be Sting.. and there will be me.. and that's all I really care about. Ok ok.. actually, that's not true.. The Jedi (Oh.. I know, but he picked the name - don't blame me, people.) and I will be going together, my friend from the more southerly metropolis of Portland. The work day has been scheduled for the status of 'off' and there will be drinks and dinner when he arrives, possibly sight-seeing and galavanting in the sun the next day as people with the days of 'off' are prone to do.. and then The Concert Of Awesome featuring my dear friend, Sting. Alright.. so maybe I don't know him as well as I know Blake, but I feel Sting sending the love directly my way. He has for years. We have a connection. Don't laugh. It's real. Shut up.

And seriously.. this is all I can muster today because it's sooooo nice that I can barely concentrate keeping up with all of you fabulous minxes let alone trying to work today.. (Hi, can you say longest EVER four-day work week?? Jesus!).

Now go! Prosper in the almost-summerness of it all I say! Hooray!