I Left My Heart In Seattle And The Wine In San Francisco

Have you noticed a weekend getaway is never otherwise discussed as a 'vacation?' That's cuz it isn't one.. no no.. truly, it's just time enough to get there and get back, hence the term 'getaway' cuz really, it only allows you time enough to breathe in the air, try the food, maybe have a nap and get thru the all the rolling eyes in airport security on your way home. That's how I felt when I left California last week. I just wasn't ready to go.

This visit to the bay area is the one and only time I am victim allowed the privilege to ride with Scott in his bright blue jeep. God love a jeep, you know? It's wind-in-your-hair sexy.. right? Yeah.. not so much. Honestly. First of all, he'd removed the doors, which he always does in the summer (and I use the term 'summer' loosely for the San Francisco area - but to his defense, he does live in Oakland so it's warmer there).. so you know.. there's that.. risking death factor.. well, that's IF he hadn't strapped me in like they do when you ride a roller coaster. Actually, it's better than that even - more like, um.. the space shuttle. Because really, people drive like they're training for the Indy 500 in California.. and in their new cars where apparently, there are no turn signals built in.. but now that I think about it, I never once saw a miles per hour sign. I think it's just suggested anyway. But if there were to be some sort of accident in the jeep due to the insanity that is a California driver, I think no matter what happened to my lower half, my upper body and internal organs would be completely unharmed and hey, there's always someone I can make happy with the harvesting of my organs. Tho.. um.. that sounds.. not in the way I meant it..

So the trip south started fine - there was no confiscation of any type of dangerous lip glossing materials cuz I'd checked them all. Hahaha airport security! AND they allowed me to bring chapstick on board - NOT that they were checking thru the gate like they said they'd do. Tho they say you can't bring any type of liquids on board, I saw many a woman's bag large enough to hide a bottle of water, like the one I was forced to throw away just minutes after purchasing in a kiosk beyond security and near the gates cuz I had not a bag in which to conceal it. Hmph. But then we were in the air and I flipped open the snazzy new Mac of mine and watched Good Night, and Good Luck, which I can't recommend enough.

Lalala.. flyflyfly.. Scott picked me up.. drivedrivedrive (you can't go anywhere in California without it NOT taking 30 minutes at minimum to get there - I say California needs to find their own source of oil cuz clearly they are hogging it - hello!).. waitwaitwait (Scott had to work for a couple more hours) and THEN we were off to dinner with his friends.

Scott and his friends are beer enthusiasts.. so where do you go for good beer in the city? Why The Schnitzelhaus of course! Um.. I had the wine, but have never officially had any schnitzel that I knew of.. and seriously, you should go there. And listen to the German waitress cuz tho she's quite sassy, she knows what she's talking about. Mmmmmm!

Saturday's purpose was wine tasting so to prepare for that, we hit our traditional Berkely stop for breakfast, Picante, which was the cheapest place we ate all weekend (did I mention San Fran is expensive?!) and I indulged in not one, but TWO cups of the Cafe de Olla, which never disappoints and again, I asked for the recipe. It may just be orange peels, cinnamon, cloves and brown sugar, but it's special brown sugar and I live for this trip SOLELY to partake of this amazing coffee, but don't tell Scott that. Then, off we went to pick up our friend Anne-Marie and headed to Alexander Valley, tastebuds warmed up, ready and waiting!

Healdsburg area wineries were the desitination this time cuz last year we visited a nice portion of the ones in Sonoma. We tried Jordan Winery first, but they only allow tastings by appointment! Well, la-dee-da, said we.. even tho it was a massive and incredibly beautiful estate.



And we said hello to this little guy cuz it certainly wasn't his fault (the gecko, um.. not the statue's 'little guy'.. ahem).

So instead, we hit Stryker, pun intended, of course, cuz mostly we liked the name and I ended up with a lovely bottle of their 'Old Vine' Zinfandel which was rich and full-bodied. So far so good!

Next stop was the Robert Young Estate Winery, which obviously held a long family history and tho the 2002 Scion was fabulous, it was also $55 a bottle. Um.. ow. So we took a picture of this curious llama instead. For free. We made sure to stay spitting distance away at least.

We went back to the cute town of Healdsburg for the tasting at Lake Sonoma Winery cuz we were suddenly on a NEW and EXCITING mission for bubbly! Last year we started our tastings with Gloria Ferrer sparkling wines and were pretty disappointed by their lack of um.. sparkle. But ohhh.. this may have been worth the wait. And I may even have bought a sexy little bottle for a friend's upcoming wedding. I wanted a bottle of their 'old vine' zinfandel (and why you have to put it in quotes, I don't know, but everyone seemed to have some sort of 'old vine' stuff. I don't get it. Wine is beyond my understanding. I just like it. A lot.), which was really more like a yummy dessert wine without the too-syrupy-sweet factor, but I refrained for fear of the havoc already wreaked on my pocketbook. I'm kicking myself now, but I really couldn't be responsible for my choices made at that time cuz honestly, I was basically lit before we arrived.

Only two more people.. stay with me!


We only had about 45 minutes left before all the wineries closed in the area, so the next stop, was by far my favorite, even tho we barely bothered with the wine. Roshambo Winery was instantly different from all the other winery atmospheres we'd come across. It felt bright and hip and there's an immediate sense of sass, which of course, you know would appeal to me.

The first thing we saw was this larger than life characature cut out of a girl in boots and vivid red skirt with boxing gloves and a motto in large letters on the wall that says, "Fighting for fun in a winey world." Not to mention we quickly noticed there was no one, and I mean, NO ONE, older than we were in the entire winery. We'd stumbled across a new idea obviously. And tho we drank our samplings quickly, and they were good, we were more preoccupied with that female characature we saw when we first came in as all of us started to notice.. um.. she sorta looked a lot like me.. like.. a lot a lot. And after I read up on the owner, Naomi Brilliant (her married name.. but damn, what luck!), it's supposed to be her, and we don't really look alike.. and mind you, I'm was not in fighting shape (see: will be gym'ing it harder to get ready for this wedding I'll be in for all of 5 minutes) but still.. see for yourself.


Our last winery was Rabbit Ridge, and I'm barely going to mention them cuz the wine didn't suck, but they weren't very nice as they were trying to close being ten minutes to 5pm - and we felt sort of rushed and in their way. I did get a bottle there tho and away we whisked our saucy selves back to the city.. carefully for dinner.

We had in mind to whip up a fabulous meal and oh did we tho basically we ended up with an eclectic menu of fresh rolls, salmon, chicken, asparagus and caprese salad enough for an army. I blame the mad proportions on the drinking all day, but it was a decadent end to a decadent day - even if Scott forced the bunny to partake - tho it doesn't look as tho he was fighting it.


I haven't even gotten to the race - and I'll just touch on it quickly, but it was much different than the Wine Country Classic we usually hit in June. This was the Indy Racing League's Grand Prix of Sonoma at Infineon Raceway, one of the more challenging tracks, and one of the big draws was Danika Patrick, who I was really excited about. And tho the whole race - 80 laps - wasn't as thrlling as I'd have liked it to be, I learned a lot about it from Scott while watching the cars go round and round. Apparently, there is some strategy to refueling and re-tiring, or whatever it's called, and the girl was in third place solidly for a long time until she was forced to pit for fuel very near the end of the race. Ugh - it killed me cuz after that she couldn't get past 8th as there was really only one corner out of the 11 to pass and make headway - and we sat with a perfect view of it - tho this is a crappy shot cuz the corner was actually more to the right and it looks as tho I've cut it out - damn! But this was right before the race began (pics of the actual cars moving would've been all blurry and given you headaches - see? I'm looking out for you!).



So holding steady at the front, Marco Andretti, Mario's barely-legal grandson, beat Danika to first with his car running on fumes a 'different' pit strategy they said. Oh and I guess I should mention by doing that he also became the youngest winner in IndyCar Series history - like ever. Never mind that he wasn't even old enough to drink the winning wine toast and it had to be substituted with sparkling cider.. but ok, yes, he has some skills.. still, next time, Danika.. it'll be yours! I'm sure of it!

On our way back to Scott's 'hood pad', we met some of his friends at this small-town divey bar they discovered well outside the city with an extensive imported beer list, but since it was overtaken by a large group of leather-clad and, for lack of a better word, dirty, motorcyclists and their um.. seen-better-days girlfriends, it felt more like we'd walked into the movie, Roadhouse, and I swear I was looking for a disheveled Patrick Swayze to come out and kick some ass. Yet Scott seemed intrigued, so I thought ok, how bad can it be.. until one of the guys called after another shouting, 'Hey, Coyote!', I had to confirm with Scott that that's what we just heard, he agreed we did, we watched Coyote and his friend have some intense words where alpha-male-ness seemed to be battling out the importance of something to do with all their bikes, Coyote clearly reigning the leader and I think that's when I asked Scott if he we could maybe eat somewhere else.. he obliged and I was ever so grateful.

Scott dropped me off the next morning at the Oakland airport where, somehow, I FORGOT to check those dangerous lipglossy materials and THEY DIDN'T NOTICE! Gotta say my lips were loving the flight home, oh yes they were! And once in the air, I loaded the Mac with the next movie of choice, Elizabethtown, which was cute, if not a tad too long (like I have room to talk here), and waited my arrival back home.

There you have it.. an overdue post about an overdue vacation, and fantastically lengthy, but I'm sure y'all skimmed it anyway understand. And I raise a glass of gorgeous California red to you, my lovelies. Hope you have some good and detailed stories for me this week. Mwah!

Still Sending Prayers..

Being the one year anniversary of hurricane Katrina, I thought I'd forego any chat about my weekend trip cuz it seems to pale in light of the somber memorial going on in New Orleans and the surrounding areas today. I couldn't possibly understand the complete devastation those people have gone and are still going thru, but I'm trying my best to pay my respects from here and my heart still hurts for them. I'm unable to even attempt to read anything on the thousands of animal victims.. I would never stop crying.

For your own moment of silence, view some of the Katrina images yourself.

If you'd rather get mad about it, which is easy to do, read some of these stupid quotes, if you can get thru them. Numbers 11 and 25 are especially disturbing in my opinion.

Or stand behind what Deborah White has to say here and when you reach 'Do the math', please tell me if by that one little sentence you're not fully disgusted at where the government's priorities really lie cuz it's obviously not here at home where they should be.

A year later, the gulf's residents are still struggling to recover any sense of normalcy.. something I know I take for granted..

There are people out there every day trying to rebuild their homes and their lives. But it really has been left up to the individuals and it has been really slow going.

As we are now well into hurricane season, there is a tension and anxiety in the city now that is very uncharacteristic of "the city that care forgot".

The levees need to be strengthened even further and we just hope that they will not be breached again.

New Orleans is a very Catholic city and it seems our patron these days is Saint Jude (patron of hopeless causes).

And tho there continues to be bad and evil and awful and horrible in the world, if we didn't know what that was, we'd never recognize the good and graceful and kind and loving, which sometimes we forget to see, but of which this area could still use a lot more.

I hope those affected by hurricane Katrina will soon see more concrete results with assistance in rebuilding their cities and their lives. I'm sure I'm not the only one who sends continued prayers for just that their way.

If I Cut Off My Lips With The Scissors That I Can Bring On The Plane, Then I Won't Have To Worry About The Lipgloss That I Can't.. Yeah!

See this? Yup.. headed there. Tomorrow. Like.. maybe I should pack. Soon. Like.. now would be good.. but instead, you know what I'm doing?! Writing you people.. cuz I'm THAT dedicated. Yes I am. And cuz I'm soooooo tired.. like what gives these days? Is mono going around or something? Some sort of tiredy plague? Cuz damn.. I've got it. Yawning as we speak, even! But I interrupted myself and meant to say.. since tiredy eyes is what I have right now and all I want to do is crawl into bed with my clothes on and snuggle with Emma til 3pm tomorrow, I will only be listing tonight cuz if I sleep til 3pm I will be missing the fun that is airline security. I mean who doesn't want to feel the thill of chapping as the stale and regurgitated air parches ones lips and rips them to shreds since oh.. one isn't allowed to bring any sort of moistening materials WHATSOEVER. Joy.

So.. here we go.

1. Seriously, I can't get to bed before midnight these days.

2. I completely blame Apple for my lack of sleep due to the fact I'm addicted to my new laptop. It's sick.

3. The biggest news I have is there was a very exciting trip to the v-e-t for Emma last Saturday where we found out a) the doctor was creepy and weird, b) that Emma is 'obese' and I watched the doctor try to bend her all Cirque du Soleil style in order to prove to me right there that she couldn't reach her kitty bum due to her swelling tummy and I'm still wondering how many cats he can actually get that to work with, and c) that it doesn't matter anyway cuz in addition to being pudgy, she's also got gingivitis. Who sucks as a mommy? Yeah.. nice. And those teeth cleanings? Well Emma will get laid out all day and after she wakes up, probably sit around groggy and seething with hatred for me. I'm excited. Not.

4. That's truly all that's happened to me this week.

5. Wow.. that's sad.

6. So now I'll go back to bitching about flying - Check the list of prohibited items. Do you know you can't bring lipgloss in any way, shape or form, but you can bring 'Scissors - metal with pointed tips and blades shorter than four inches in length, scissors - plastic or metal with blunt tips AND safety razors - including disposable razors??' And I find it rather.. odd, and by odd I mean oh.. fucking insane, that SCISSORS are ALLOWED ON THE PLANE AT ALL. Um.. don't you? As if four inches or less of a metal pointed blade is completely harmless and unable to hurt anyone.. and RAZORS?! Wtf?! That could be a serious torturing device, wouldn't you say? One tiny little slip when I'm shaving my legs in the shower and I'm practically disabled. But lipgloss.. OUT OF THE QUESTION! DANGEROUS MATERIALS! WATCH OUT!

But what is oh-so-sly is these so clearly inane objects are HIGHLIGHTED IN BOLD on the what-you-can-and-can't-bring list.. like.. HELLO TERRORISTS.. THESE ARE OK AND WILL STILL DO BODILY HARM OH YES THEY WILL! Who's taking crazy pills? Obviously, me.. right..

And wow.. that's really all I can do being that it's well after midnight and oh.. let's see.. not a shred of packing has been completed, Emma is about to freak out cuz she can't get outside the bedroom door and I'm sure even tho I've trimmed her claws that she'll have dug a nice hole into the carpet by the time I return, and I'm frickin about to fall over with exhaustion.. But hey, I'll miss you! Every single one of you!! If there is time Saturday night after all the wine tasting that is planned and I'm not plastered out of my gord, which will only take til the end of the first winery anyway, I may update.. but I can't make any promises my lovelies. Do forgive!

Til then, hope you all have a great weekend!

Ok.. When I Said EVERY Day I Sort Of Meant As Soon As I Can Which Is Still Not Yet Exactly..

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude.. you guys.. I'm sooooooooooooooooo busy! I'm sorry!!! I swear Jake and Treena and y'all wherever you are that I WILL update soon! As in.. maybe tomorrow.. while I'm packing and getting ready for my long weekend to San Francisco and Sonoma.. as in.. YES I'm taking a trip! Which I SO forgot to tell you guys because I HAVEN'T HAD ANY TIME! And it's going to be 3 1/2 DAYS out of town and I haven't done ANYTHING for it yet like laundry and the necessary buying of clothes for the normal warm California weather (Sonoma) and at the same time the fucking windy and freezing California weather (San Fran), which is just an oxymoron if you ask me - San Francisco, CA, that is.. it feels more like the city belongs in another state up north. It just doesn't feeeeel like California.. you know? Don't they have a law or something that requires the temperature of the entire state never to drop below oh.. 70 degrees at any given time? Can't we call Arnold or something about that? I'm just sayin.. brrr.. but I do get to go to my favorite place in Berkely for coffee.. and a REAL INDY CAR RACE! Yay!

SO!

Tomorrow.. hopefully.. because I LOVE YOU PEOPLE.. I will pack and write at the same time... after work.. or.. after the gym (cuz working out and vacations don't go together.. duh) and you will just have to live with it.. please?

Mwah!

Praise Jesus! I've Been Delivered To Blogging Heaven!

Ohmygod.. I will never have a social life again.. you know why people? THE LAPTOP ARRIVED! And afterwards, I was in sheer and utter bliss. Like.. now. And as I've been wandering around my apartment trying to find someone's signal I could leech off of like a junkie trying to find crack, I'm thinking this is ridiculous.. but I can't stop. You should see me RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE.. outside.. on the chair in front of my door.. cuz that's where the fucking signal is.

Yes, I know I need to get my own damn DSL.. but for now, I'm stealing. Sue me.

You should really have seen me try to pick up the signal my roommate gets in his room.. but he was not interested in having a friendly sharing moment at all.. no no, he was not having it.. and I sat right in front of his door and got two bars.. That wasn't so cool as I could hear everything that was going on in his room.. not that anything was.. but I'm saying IF.. and I thought it rather creepy and moved my ass to search out another signal. And yay for the one outside! But.. hm.. this will NOT be doable come winter. Ohdeargodno.

And yet, here I am.. it's 11:30.. pm.. at night.. when I should be in bed.. and I'm oh.. typing away.. talking to you people.. cuz this is EXACTLY what I wanted to create - ease, comfort, the convenience of doing just this - writing in the blog - from my own home.. and I have done it! But look at the blogging monster I've created! I will now have to find more things to write about, having the sheer ability to take this WHEREVER I WANT (mwahahahaha) has made me giddy and probably, yes, even lightheaded with delight at all the possibilities - and oh-so-desperate for a fix as I mentioned before cuz here I am STANDING IN MY ROOMMATE'S ROOM with this very sad two-bar connection, shamelessly stolen in the night no less, and shivering cuz I'm so frickin cold from being outside for so long.

I almost love being so pathetic AND excited at the same time. Something is very wrong indeed. Send help, send wine.. send over an attractive man with wine for chrissakes.. but you know when that's all done..? I'll probably blog about it.

Damn. There'll be no saving me now..

Just A Little Something Positive

This afternoon, on one of the random dating sites I still check but have yet to receive anything from anyone that really sparked my interest lately, I received the following message from an unknown someone:

Hi...this may seem a little odd but my heart is in the right place. I was looking at a friend's profile and noticed I still had 2 stamps remaining in my account. I hated to waste them and decided I wanted to use them.

Although, I never had any great luck on [this particular dating site], I remember your cute face from when I was on here regularly. One of these days, some man is going to come to his senses and realize how wonderful you are. Until that time, hang in there. You deserve a great man and a great love. Enjoy life!

I was just thinking today that life is too short to let the things that are bringing me down impact me so negatively.. that I have wonderful and loving people who surround me, who are positive and full of good energy and I need to remember that.

Albeit meant more in a romantic sense, this still brought the point home. I hope y'all are complimented similarly today. We all deserve to be happy.

All The World's A Stage

I know.. you're surprised to see me back here so soon, right? But I'm about a week behind on the happenings in the world I occupy and I have to catch up! It's hard having a life and a blog sometimes.. sheesh. Plus I'm practically salivating waiting for the So You Think You Can Dance finale results and only this girl seems to be able to relate with all my excitement. It's hard when no one else understands your passions people.

First tho, there's been a mini death in this close blogger family of ours for which we need to pay our respects. I was completely crushed and didn't see how I would possibly recover.. I had this whole idea that you, my enthusiastic readers, would send me comfort in the way of chocolate, wine, or an attractive masseur named Paolo if you felt I was beyond your normal abilities of consolation, which I was.. really.. and that's cuz our bewitching and brilliant Pixie had deleted her blog mentioning something about 'bad chi' and needing a fresh start. Her fans were clamoring to know if she'd gone for good or how soon it would be before her return.. and I wasn't sure what to tell them. But then came a ray of hope and oh.. what's this? Word from our pet Pixie herself that she's already created something new, something reborn even! So no need to fear! No need to mourn! And thank GOD cuz if anyone knows how little patience I have it's Pix. So send the girl some good chi, won't you, and check out her new page, Pixie Rising.

Back to the week at a glance.. and by glance I mean extremely explicit detail..

Last week, my friend Keith and I were trying to make plans for some hang out time together and he informed me that one of our friends from college, Kristin, would be in town and probably joining us when we headed out. Now, it's been at least 13 years since I've seen this girl.. and once I started to process that, I couldn't really believe that much time had passed from our college lives in the theatre that consisted of stressful auditions, teachers who could actually teach and teachers who showed preferential treatment for their favorite (and most attractive) students, dance classes, run crews, voice lessons, directing, mainstage shows and the occasional independent cabaret or improv show. We weren't super close, but we were friends and she was always someone I looked up to since she was an exceptionally gifted actor. And there we stood, sizing each other up in the present - and honestly, the girl looks exactly the same, not a single day older, and is just as smiley as I remember. Also, a very good hugger.

Is it weird to say you miss someone when they're standing right in front of you? While Kristin was here, it was like this favorite piece of me I'd lost that I hadn't even noticed was gone had finally been returned to me and I was so incredibly excited about it. She and Keith were two of my favorite actors, not to mention people in general, of those I knew in school and having them both out with me last week was like being right back in the midst of the theatre department - soaking up everything I could about theatre, taking in advice, desperately trying to understand what 'raising the stakes' meant, or my favorite part - feeling the adrenaline rise as the lights went down, and being called to places in front of a hushed and anticpating audience. Ahh.. there is nothing like that feeling.. ever.. and it's the main reason why I pursued acting.

So what's the most obvious thing three Southern Oregon State College (renamed Southern Oregon University - ooh la la!) theatre graduates would probably do together? If you said see a play, you're right.. if you said brain surgery, well.. remember, we're not real doctors. We just play them on T.V. So yes, our first venture out was a play called The Secret Ruths of Island House, which is a darling production about seven women named Ruth living in a retirement home and based on the stories they told in interviews done by the women who wrote and acted in it. It's also about to tour.. so check out where they're headed cuz I guarantee, by the time you walk out of there, you'll be calling your grandma to say you love her and ask her to tell you her stories from when she was younger.. I was that choked up.

The next night, Friday, after Kristin and I had some girl time over drinks and dessert crêpes while Keith was rehearsing his own upcoming show, we reconvened for a late-night cabaret on Capital Hill called Spin The Bottle. Keith and his friend, Mary, performed a very funny bit they'd been working on, there was a short film, some live music, some more good stuff, some bad, but during the entire show, this group of artists called Chrom-A-Matic (and I can't link to them cuz they don't have a site online! Can you believe that?!) whom Pixie and I witnessed before at the Clowns Without Borders show - paint whatever they feel like upon multiple canvases while the show is going on. Their pieces are infinitely original, striking, and positively fabulous. At the end of every show, they auction them off, each one going for more than the first, each piece fought over painful tooth and excruciating nail when it goes up in price and away from the last person who so thought they almost had a one-of-a-kind treasure.

This was exactly what happened to Kristin when she battled another audience member for the third piece, but felt she had to give up at his last bid of $60, tho it was obvious it really pained her to do so. But I'd set my eyes on the fourth and final piece that caused the entire audience to ooh and ahh as it was introduced. And dammit if I wasn't hellbent on having it. HELLBENT, I tell you! So much so, I said screw this increments of $5 shit and called my first bid of $50, which um.. may have been excessive in retrospect after I realized how quickly the price was increasing.. but oooh.. I wanted it.. needed it.. HAD TO HAVE IT!

The auctioneer went back and forth between me and another guy in the audience who was completely undeserving of this masterpiece - and by undeserving I mean he wasn't me.. cuz it was going to be MINE - and at one point, he even taunted my opponent asking him if he was going to let 'this red-headed harlot' get away with HIS painting!! HA! I showed them.. and I mulled over his last bid of $85 during what was a very agonizing few seconds, hoped this last one would break him and shouted out '$90!' to the pleasure of the audience who cheered and egged on my rival.. but he'd reached his limit and gave in! VICTORY WAS MINE! HARLOTS UNITE!

Isn't it rad?! Yes.. that's a rabbit.. and um.. a prarie dog.. with a crown.. and ok, maybe some diseased pears above.. but whatever! I love it! So there!

When the show was over, Kristin had mentioned she'd talked to the winning bidder of the piece she'd coveted and thought if she'd offered him what he'd paid for it, he might've considered relinquishing ownership.. but she didn't pursue it cuz she thought he really loved it. So we happened to walk out right behind them and cuz it was our last opportunity, I took it upon myself to ask him if he was really set on keeping it for himself as Kristin hadn't been able to stop talking about it for the last 30 minutes. That got his attention and he offered it to her, seeing how much she really loved it - with only one condition: that she donate the price paid for the painting to KEXP, an independent radio station here. She was thrilled and promised to follow thru the next day. We chatted all the way back home, patting ourselves on the back for all of our remarkable performances that night.

We brunched together the next morning and Kristin and I said our goodbyes afterwards since I wouldn't see her again soon. Before I left tho, Keith happened to mention he and our friend, Mary, were in need of a stage manager for their upcoming show, Judy Blume Owes Me and Curtains For Mr. Mortimer, so I said I'd happily help them out and voilà! I'm now pushing their show, which I'd be doing anyway, but since my talents are involved directly - and by talents I mean turning the lights up and down about three times and pushing 'play' on the cd player - I've a much more integral part in this than usual. Obviously. Duh. So please contact my assistant if you're looking to request my services, but give me as much advance notice as possible since I'm currently booked thru spring of 2007.

Well, I'm off to lunch - paparazzi be damned! If these are the sacrifices one has to make for life in the limelight.. then so be it.. someone has to do it! Ta ta!

Oh For The Love Of Pete! Finally!

Seriously, you have NO idea how in-fucking-sane work has been for me this last week and oh.. yet yesterday.. while writing this... it's 10:16pm (actually it was after midnight.. grr). Do you know where your Miss D is? Well I'll tell you, darling.. she's still at work! And no, I won't bore you with the details cuz that would acronym you right to sleep for a century.. just like magic! But then you would miss out on my oh-so-splendifidus storytelling of the happenings that don't include that which is the daily monotony that pays my bills. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn.. See? Already feeling it?! I best get a move on then!

Chapter 1 - Three Wigs And As Many Girls.. Also, Hippies!

This is my friend Pixie. Hands in the air for all of you who think she should be the official Burning Man Poster Child - uh.. yeah.. it's unanimous Pix - you're the hottest hippie girl around.

Ok people.. tongues back in your mouths.. thank you.

This was the first big event of the Blogger Diva Weekend between the fabulous Lady Miss Marquise and few other lovelies, which included yours truly.

She arrived on a slow-going coach from the north and not by the private jet filled with cosmetics and spa treatments that she truly deserved, but she was beaming and sparkly, nonetheless. I quickly whisked her up in my chauffeured celebrity ride (read: crappy Ford Focus) and off we went, already finishing each other's sentences, and ready to begin our adventures.

We started at my favorite neighborhood bar, O Lounge, to catch up over drinks and appetizers (and maybe a quick eye flirt with the cute bar manager as well.. cuz I'm very good at multi-tasking..) and since we'd both had quite the long day of work issues, we relaxed and took our time being girls.

Afterwards, we headed back home to change for Luminous Flux, touted as the party of the year and hosted by the Space Virgins of Burning Man fame. One cannot head to a party such as this in the standard Friday-night garb.. oh no.. one must, at the very least, don a brightly colored wig as that is the bare minimum - a light pink one for me and a purple one for Lady Miss, but we also added a fuzzy zebra-striped skirt, some silver glitter, sexy boots and our brazen personalities none of which we could do without before we were to meet up with Ms. Pixie herself and her utility-kilted man, amongst the other standard burners that were sure to be present wearing their wigs, goggles, and what appeared to be stuffed animals (it was a jungle theme after all). There was quite a bit of debaucherous entertainment for the senses and we mainly enjoyed all the people-watching, appreciating the creativeness of everyone there who obviously requires more than just the one day a year to dress in costume. I think I'm personally becoming of that mindset myself. Such scandal! We loved it!

But we could not last nearly as long as the fair Pixie since she was dedicated to her mission of dance and merriment and not in the least bit interested in calling it a night at 3am like we were.. Yes, in retrospect maybe we were a tad weak, but we had loftier goals for the following day for which we needed to be prepared..




But before we laid down our pretty matted-wig-haired heads for our beauty rest, oh.. we may have targeted Miss Emma. Doesn't she just look ecstatic about this idea?! She's so dignified and elegant.. Or maybe she looks more like she's going to cut me in my sleep.. hm..

Chapter 2: How Much Money CAN We Possibly Spend For Poor Service And The Tiniest Cowboy Boots You've Ever Seen?!

Saturday was non-stop commercialism at its finest. After dining on gourmet vegetarian brunchy delights with Ms. Pixie and observing how not only had she had less sleep than we had, but she somehow managed to look positively radiant to boot, we thought we'd start with the biggest and most unusual market first: Target! I'm not kidding. Lady Miss had never been to Target and since I needed a few necesseties from there before we were side-tracked by the rest of the more expensive and glittery baubles from the other stores we had lined up to hit, Target was the first main attraction.

Have to tell you tho.. I hate it.. well.. ok, LOVE to hate it. I never leave there without spending at least $50.. and that day it started with the cutest EVER childrens' boots we walked by and which we must've spent oh.. like 30 minutes picking out just the right ones for my nieces cuz after seeing them it was too late and I was in unable-to-resist status and Lady Miss only served to weaken my addiction, but she has mad style, that one, so now my nieces are ever so lovely due to her much-needed second opinion. Girl.. those cowboy boots.. seriously, you've never seen a child so frickin cute in your whole life.

By early evening, we were both feeling that sort of fatigue that only comes with extraneous amounts of shopping. Lady Miss found herself a lovely new chapeau as her last purchase of the day and off we went to freshen up before dinner and the evening ahead.

I'd picked a lovely new place where a former mediterranean bistro had been, but had since been replaced by only a letter - Q - which was ambiguous and exciting but that I can't even get myself to link to cuz it was such a disappointment it was laughable. When you have to remind yourself and your friends it's not the establishment, but the chosen few around you in which you wish to drench yourselves.. I mean, yes, all true, but then if that's the point, stay in and watch Steel Magnolias over a large box of tissues.. I wanted sexy and intriguing and lush.. and we got so-so, and half-assed and really uncomfortable. This = so not what I was going for, but I'll give you the short list:

1. Drinks were very slow, place was not busy, server never apologized - for anything.

2. Server never came to check on us unless we chased her down.. which could've been fun had this been the point of the restaurant - but you know.. since she was supposed to wait on us.. it sort of wasn't.

3. She argued.. ARGUED about the cheese plate coming with warm baguette - it said so right on the menu.. but she said plainly, 'No, it doesn't come with that' like somehow, we'd made it up even after we pointed it out and again, not with attitude, but with no apology, yet she happily offered to bring us some bread, which was plain, wheat, and rustic - that was also so hard it could've broken a tooth. Oh. Hold me back.

4. The salmon was so eerily under-done in the middle.. and I already have fish issues people.. it was a big step for me that I won't be taking again soon. One word: ew.

5. After four appetizers, they started clearing our plates asking us if we wanted desert - our fifth person hadn't even ARRIVED! Helloooo?!

6. When the manager came over with the server in tow asking us if everything had been alright, we weren't mean and not even were we firm - but we didn't lie. The server actually then interrupted him asking about her level of service as we had only left her two dollars. Now.. I've been in food service since I was 14 - obviously if you only receive two dollars in tip, your service is not good. In fact, I do believe it is the OPPOSITE of good.. but please tell me where it is standard behavior to confront said low-tipping customer and ask them?! AND you will ALL be so very proud of me - as sarcastic as I am, I held my tongue on this one and kindly, KINDLY I say, pointed out she'd already included what we thought was an 18% gratuity WITHIN the tab, THAT WE PAID.. so in addition to the exorbitant amount of $24 + that I would never have left her otherwise cuz seriously, 12% was more than she deserved, tho we certainly would never have stiffed her, the two dollars were extra. She then said to her manager naively, 'Oh.. well, how does that work?' and he said he'd show her and left - no apology, no 'excuse us', no 'we'll be right back'.. He eventually apologized to the table.. but honey.. really.. come back? You are kidding.. right?

Honestly, the best part was the company as Lady Miss and I met yet another blogger, my friend, Wendy, who I've known for at least a year, if not more, but had never met. You'd think this was the coolest game I made up or something - collecting random, online strangers and only knowing them from what they write about themselves on their blogs.. hm.. come to think of it, that's sort of true. Like.. a lot. I may definitely have issues OR it could just be really lucky that I haven't met any serial killers.. tho Wendy seemed awfully sane.. especially for a mother of two tiny red-headed children.

We ended dinner - thank God - said our goodbyes to Ms. Wendy and the rest while Lady Miss and I headed up to the hill for a little more celebratory toasting with Pixie, her man and a few other friends of mine. And dammit, we should've just stayed there cuz downtown was too crowded with the too platinum, too drunk, and too rude - tho it didn't get any better on Capital Hill where the gay boys had no use for the straight girls that night, tho I had to admit, one boy did have nicer legs than I'd seen on a woman in a long time.

Irritated and annoyed, I apologized to Lady Miss for running out of energy at 3:30am and wanting only to get away from the crowds. What a sweet girl she was for completely understanding and being a good sport.

Chapter 3: Recovery = Minimal

Sunday moved much more slowly as we made our way to brunch and met up with one of Lady Miss' friends in town. We wandered Pike Place Market, said hello to the one and only fish guy I still know who shouted out my name after I'd just told Lady Miss he probably had no idea who I was anymore.. interesting.. We tried on hats in an antique store and then I introduced my fabulous friend to the famous Fremont Troll (Pictures are STILL a problem.. my apologies.. stupid stupid blogger..) - which is a statue under the Fremont Bridge people.. not an actual.. oh.. nevermind..

I then escorted the fair Lady Miss back to her coach and she was transported off to the land of the north after many hugs and an abundance of happy memories created.

Now my next question is - Pom? Léonie? t? Duck? Mandy? Treena??? When are you coming to visit?!

25 Peeps - Again! Woot!

Ok.. I know I've got a lot to tell you about people... but you'll have to wait just a little longer cuz last week was so incredibly busy at work and in life.. and I've started a post for realz but haven't finished it yet. Seriously, I need a computer at home - obviously.. duh..

BUT.. there's hope!

As you can see, I've made the 25peeps.com list again! Yay! Whoopee even!

SO.. you know what you can do? I think you might.. and cuz you all love me SO much, won't you help me out and give me a little teensy ego boost just for fun and click on the link so I get some MAD traffic and stay on for a while? Please please please?? I'll love you forever! I'll think of you often! I'll tell everyone how much you completely ROCK! How cool is that? I'll tell you.. SOOOO cool!

And I promise to get a new post out like.. tonight.. or tomorrow morning. See how I'm making SACRIFICES for YOU? Cuz I'm good like that.. NOT TO MENTION that I neeeeeeeed to catch up on ALL THE READING the rest of you people are writing up and look how I show you my gratitude! I haven't even caught up on what's going on with YOU! I'm SO self-absorbed! HOW SELFISH! Well good God, you guys! SLOW DOWN! Ok ok.. I guess you don't have to.. geez.. but if you get like 18 comments from me all at once that sound like I'm really behind on everything.. well.. I am. Bear with me please..

Now.. get going over there.. you have lots of clicking to do!
Mwah!

The Friday Festivities

Completely stolen from that little bird, Léonie, and as she and that little sprite Pom are always doing quirky, little lists, I'll do my best to keep up with the British Joneses. Plus work is too busy to not talk in bullet points today.

1. Are you named after anyone? If so, explain.
I'm named by my father's own originality and excitement (one would assume) from being granted that great opportunity to adopt me and, according to my mother, he had to name me cuz he always called me his 'little angel.' And there you have it. History at it's finest hour.

2. Do you have your children's names picked out already? If so, is there any significance?
I do have a fascination with names, probably due to my own, which I like to think is fairly unique. Tho I'm not sure I want children yet, when I hear creative names, I make a mental note. I like surnames for first names as in Tucker or Salinger.. but I don't want them to be abbreviated - like Sal. Ew. Unless I just give them an abbreviated name.. like Max. Love that one. Girl or boy.. dog or cat. Whatever. But no significance other than I think it's original - and not all my choices are. I like simple names like Henry and Jack for some reason. Who doesn't want a grandpa named Jack? It's sweet. I just dig it. And then yesterday I saw a poster that was probably for a band and said 'Cadence' on it.. and I thought.. wow.. cool name. Popped into the registry for an unknown time..

3. If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name have been?
Well.. since I'm adopted and I was the only thing available at the time, they didn't get a choice and I never heard they were looking for a little boy.. but since I do have a non-adopted brother, I would assume my name would've been Todd... hm.. I like mine better.

4. If you could re-name yourself what name would you pick and why?
I wouldn't.. Almost no one believes me when I tell them my name is Angel.. not at first. There isn't even a better stripper name I can come up with.. and I can use it if I ever become famous.. like Cher or Madonna.. Who wouldn't know me with that name?! Tho when I go out to cheesy bars, I usually pick a name for the night.. which is often Zoe.. I just never remember to answer to it when someone uses it.. oops! Obviously, if you don't get the real name, however fake it may sound, there's a reason.

5. Are there any mispronunciations/typos that people do w/ your name constantly?
Just from work alone I can give you many examples I hear from my customers almost daily when they call me back asking for:
Angie
Angela
Angle - um.. right, acute, or obtuse?
Inga
Ingrid
Ingo
April
Andrea
and Eagle - which is my personal favorite and happens more times than I can count. As if Eagle makes more sense than what they think they heard.. I mean, it couldn't be Angel right? Eagle is sooooooo popular.. (wtf?)

When they do hear it correctly, I'm often asked, 'And how do you spell that?' Really? It's five letters.. and two syllables.. it's not something from the Scripps Spelling Bee people..

**************************
The rest of my day and weekend will be spent as such:

** Getting into what will hopefully be all kinds of mischief when this particular diva arrives tonight by train from BC. I'm literally counting down the hours til we can be
completely and utterly girly, cocktails in hand, flirt on, costumed beyond recognition, yet unconcerned if we're out done as that will be guaranteed as we head to...

** The Party of the Year, as I understand and hear stories to support all claims. The Space Virgins (read: Burners) will undoubtedly out-do themselves and we may even run into a little Pixie costumed to the hilt as well, if we're very lucky.

** Saturday will be spent doing whatever LadyMiss and I deem appropriate be it wandering down to Pike Place Market where we can dine on fresh crépes and buy oodles of wild flowers or shop til we fall over downtown and beyond.

** Saturday night will be composed of a lovely dinner at a new spot called Q with a few choice friends and a few new faces for random, yet lively, conversations while we ponder lost British accents, regained Canadian ones, and pretend we are so very hip and funny. Well, ok.. we won't have to pretend that hard. And then, at whatever time we find ourselves unable to sit still a moment longer, we'll find a little place with a big crowd and loud music in which we can booty shake til we are hot, sweaty, and able to untangle ourselves from the many attractive hangers-on once we are ready to crash into a much-needed unconscious state of rest until..

** Sunday morning OR afternoon, whenever we feel the need to open our dainty eyes and brighten them with steaming mugs of caffeine, bountiful breakfasts at
brunch, and recounting our tales with little to no embarrassing moments hopefully other than having to turn down one too many suitors from the night before.

I love a good story.. don't you? Just you wait til next week, my pretties.. Til then, be good and don't do anything I wouldn't do.. or rather, scratch that.. do it ALL.. and save me the good parts! Mwah!

The Global Warming Of My Loins

I'm sure that got your attention..

*ahem*

Can you blame me? It's been HOT here.. um.. everywhere.. and 90 plus degrees does nothing to quench a healthy woman's libido when she's not getting any.. if you know what I mean.. and I think you do.. you're quick like that.

It's not like I'm not dating.. cuz I am. I'm finally in a good place where I feel good being single and having a good time with it. There's been some 'hanging out' and maybe even a little 'casual' dating, but then it falls by the wayside as we both end up realizing, oh yeah.. you're not working for me.. next! And this is what dating is for.. so that's fine with me.

And it's not like there aren't 84 1/2 zillion definitions of what casual or dating or hanging out actually IS. There are. The ex thought 'seeing each other' and 'dating' were two different things. Ok. Seriously.. where's the memo on that cuz I thought they were the same.. ?? Am I crazy? Ok.. nevermind that.. Am I wrong? Really??

But mostly.. I've been confused. This is not surprising to you who are my very special (and oh-so-attractive I might add, yes, you're welcome) regular readers. I do a bit of dating online - and there's more rejecting than actual dating, but whatever - but I continually get hit up by the same type of guy. Out of all the rejects - and I'm not boosting myself up here or anything - there are A LOT - one will shine a bit. I'll reply back, we chat over a few emails and after a week or maybe a little more, arrange for our first date, where everything goes well and at the end there are hugs all around. Second date goes just as well.. more questions, a bit deeper, longer conversations, chemistry developing if it hasn't engulfed us completely and some excitement building.. again, hugs goodbye. Ok.. fine.. but are you seeing a pattern here? No? Ok.. I'll just spell it out for you... THIRD DATE - again, goes WELL, people.. talk talk talk, smiles smiles smiles, chemistry alloverthefuckingplace.. aaaaaaaand wait for it.. wait for it.. ANOTHER HUG GOODBYE! Um.. excuse me... WTF??!

I did get an explanation from a particular boy recently when my curiosity got the better of me and I turned back around after I'd already left cuz the question of this hug ending was seriously plaguing me. Did I have bad breath? Was he not into me? Was it for religious reasons?! No.. actually, it was that he was needing 'air' from his last relationship that went quite awry some months before, which, in his defense, anyone would understand as it was especially awful.. but if 'air' is something you are searching for.. something of which you're in desperate need cuz for whatever reason you might be suffocating, my darling, darling boy - and please bear in mind that I'm saying this as nicely as I possibly can - by all means do enlighten me as to why you are WASTING MY FUCKING TIME. I mean.. let's be real here.. if I wanted hugs at the end of a third date, I'd hang out with one of my girlfriends.. not that I'm suddenly only thinking with my lower extremities and needing a horizontal hula lesson (if you're picking up what I'm putting down - and again, I think you might be..), but if you've had a good time and we seem to like each other, WHATTHEFUCK is wrong with a kiss? I'll tell you.. NOTHING!

You know.. it's a wonder there are any women left.. cuz the logic of men and the way they justify their behavior at times is enough to drive us all over the edge.. wouldn't you agree, ladies?

Ok.. my apologies.. this post isn't meant to bash men entirely.. just, you know.. knock them around a little maybe.. no? Ok.. no men bashing here at all.. geez. But I think most men are just like most women.. we all want the same thing, generally speaking.. and you just get something started and you're put off for a trip or just being busy.. or they actually say they fell asleep before they could call you like they said they would.. cuz you know that makes a girl feel special.

I'm just tired of excuses. Aren't you? I'll put it this way - cuz I think it's so simple a 6-year-old could understand it:

Say what you WANT, MEAN what you say, and SHOW me how much.

Really.. is it that hard?

Now.. a few extra things to remember that surround that basic lesson:

1. Do not hit me up if you've just ended a relationship, I work with you, you are under 28, or you live out of state - a girl has her limits, people (unless of course you are super hot.. then there are exceptions.. ok ok.. kidding.. ok, only sorta..no really, totally kidding.. mostly.)

2. My time is as valuable as yours, thank you.

3. If your week is filling up, you can assume mine is too, therefore, maybe an advance request for a date would be a particularly brilliant idea and not 3pm the same day you suddenly find yourself free, especially if this is for a first date.

4. Do spellcheck your emails and please refrain from too much gangsta/ebonics lingo (unless you're LL Cool J, Usher, or Justin Timberlake and then that's totally ok and, in fact, maybe hot).

5. Before asking if you can reschedule, see rule #2 and possibly, rethink that..

6. Ask questions - something more than, 'Do you want another beer,' preferably if I've been initiating all of them cuz you've been sitting there like a lump or only talking about yourself non-stop (ok - this isn't really fair.. I've only had a couple of dates ever go this way - HOWEVER, it's still a good thing to keep in mind, boys.).

7. Be polite, be real and genuine, be courteous, kind.. and above all, honest.

Well, I'm sure some of you have a few general dating guidelines, deal breakers, or requests you wish others of the opposite sex could adhere to so please.. share as I'm going home now to my most dedicated and adoring fan whose love I never, ever doubt - my cat, Emma.

Unsatisfyingly and oh-so-frustratedly yours,

Miss D.

The Magic of Water

This is what five days is like without access to email, blogs, or anything computer related in ANY way. How incredibly stunning is that? I'll tell you.. very.

Last Wednesday, I headed out early (ok.. so it was 12:30.. but really, that was quite good for me) and drove in a southerly manner, feeling light on a gorgeous day with nothing other than the road in front of me and a lengthy, but well-worth-it drive to the Oregon Coast. It was a long overdue family gathering with aunts, uncles, and cousins from my dad's side whom I haven't seen in some time, a few for at least a year or more, and with most of whom I never get to spend that kind of time. Honestly.. for the first time in ages, I was really looking forward to being a part of that.

I lived in Lincoln City for 10 years - thru high school and working thru some summers during college when I could stand being so close to Mom and Dad who weren't getting along and with whom I got along much worse when I was within a few miles. But this was Arch Cape - just four miles south of the cutesy Cannon Beach and about 10 miles south of that tourist trap they call Seaside. No Arch Cape is quieter, more isolated, more dignified.. and tho memories from when I was younger ran thru my head, I mostly remembered how much I loved the ocean.


I could feel the change in the air.. in myself.. as I neared my destination. My family was preparing for dinner when I arrived in the late afternoon - gourmet pasta, decorated salad.. we didn't eat poorly, that's for sure. And I was greeted with warm, caring hugs and smiles, how-are-you's and what's-new's and tho it sounds a bit cheesy, it felt so good. Sometimes, the busy social life is a lot of work. Being single and dating, working 8-5 plus, the city life of friends and their events - not that it's not rewarding and I love my life and my friends who make up my chosen family, but this family, that is basically blood-related despite my adoption into it, has known me since I was born and you can't find that kind of integral acceptance - that well-we're-stuck-with-her-but-I-guess-that's-ok sort of love that only gets better when you realize you can finally relate to the adults as another adult. It sounds strange - that I'm a all grown up, but there's such pleasure in it.


And I see how fascinated my 16-year-old twin cousins are with me as they gunned me down with questions about my love life (just barely above non-existant) and teased me about turning 40 (hi.. 6, SIX years away, thank you.. if you want to live to see 17..) cuz they know they can. And I can see how well they've grown into precocious young women who spent a good four mile walk talking politics and world events with me. And their parents and my other aunts and uncles see how I've grown and changed and *shocker* have a personality and maybe that I'm a rather sensational individual myself. And you know what? I saw that they were too.


One of my favorite things about this time with everyone was getting to know my four-year-old cousin, Maeve. She's a wee thing from China my aunt and uncle adopted three years ago last weekend, which gives her and I a special bond that even at her age, she understands. We sang songs, looked for starfish, sea anemones, and hermit crabs in the tidepools, sand dollars along the beach, read stories and were quite silly actually.. but when you're around a bright and tiny star of a child, it's easy to do that. She's a little bit of magic, that one and I just fell in love with her.


Days were spent getting up much earlier than I'm used to on weekends (8:30 am!), at least one lengthy walk down the beach a day, if not two, after breakfast and french-pressed coffee, ice cream - which was never a bad idea until it was just about twice a day.. and then, hey, we were on vacation, so there. We met up with friends of my family at their beach house down the road, collected enough sand dollars to fill a treasure chest, admired the flocks of pelicans I never knew existed along the coast, played too much Boggle, Yahtzee and cribbage and oooh'd and awww'd over who was winning, bad hands, and clever words. And you can't have a beach vacation without s'mores.. so we had a few of those (or five) along with a roaring campfire and a glorious sunset. And I STILL had three days left!



By Saturday night, I was feeling an ache to be home in my own bed, to snuggle with the cat, and to check in with my friends. The desires of a city girl can never be quelled for long when away from the city itself.. but it really was difficult to tear myself away from that view, that sun.. and the clean smell of summer at the beach.


The ocean has always held something for me. It's been where I would escape to when I skipped classes with friends in high school, where I'd cry in solitude over the latest broken heart, or just daydream the time away when searching for poetry to scribble in a journal. This trip reminded me of the underestimated strength of water - it can put out fires, wear down the earth and its walls, drown your sorrows - or you, if you aren't careful - but mostly, its rhythm is healing. It comes in and goes out - leaving traces of debris it's trying to work thru and expel and yet it continues to wear away the stagnant rocks and embraces every difficult grain of sand. Why that moves me, I don't know.. but I found myself a little treasure I brought home to remind me of that feeling - a powder blue board etched with an Isak Dinesen quote I've long had in my journal of ramblings and wanna-be rhymes:

"The cure for everything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea."

I think that says it all.

I'm No Martha Stewart, But I Have Some Good Advice

Pomgirl has me list-thinking again.. and while getting ready for work last week I was thinking of things I could put in some sort of listy post.. to impart my day-to-day wisdom and share in the brightness that are the many lightbulbs switched on in my head (and which keep me from running into things) with my obsessed followers dedicated readers. You guys want to learn something new, don't you? I think you do. I don't care if your teachers in school have previously told your parents otherwise.. I believe in you!

So here goes..

1. Baking Soda Is Good For Removing Smells And Absorbing Liquid: Pour baking soda immediately where 'incident' occurred, leave overnight, and then vaccuum up or put in the wash.

This is good for things like kitty accidents.. or rather, kitty crimes cuz trust me.. this was no accident. I know this cuz one Emma, the cat, the alleged suspect, recently decided her litter box was sub-par and thought since I was distracted on a call that she would jump on the bed, where I was sitting and show me exactly how dissatisified she really was.. AND I hadn't been paying her enough attention anyway SO she thought I probably deserved it. Did I mention new sheets? Sigh..

** Thanks to Kari for this little tidbit as it saved my mattress, sheets, and not to mention, my nose. Nothing is worse than that smell for me.

2. In Place Of Deodorant, Rubbing Alcohol Works Even Better: Seriously - dab on with a cotton ball and that's it! I haven't used deodorant for a week (and I'm wondering if I really should admit that.. hm)! I still can't remember who told me about this just recently (now I'm going to get emails, I know) that models use this method so as not to mark up expensive clothing during photo shoots. And girls, I kinda sweat.. I'm not a glower, tho I'd love to say I am, but I'm just not... and tho you may need a touch up late afternoon, this is pretty cool. No stains on your clothes, no stink... it's odd that I haven't heard about this amazing phenomenon before.. and you can go ahead and not believe me ALL. YOU. LIKE. but it really works! And I think it's rad, so there.
*** UPDATE *** As Pixie so kindly reminded me in the comments, she is due the credit for this valuable bit.

3. Do Not Text While Driving: Just common sense right? Well, we all know sometimes that this is beyond me and luckily (thanks to all the powers that be) only once has this practice caused me a firm, but minor, fender bender a few years ago that was totally my fault.

We were completely stopped and I was sending a message to someone, but looked up and thought, tho completely stopped as I said, we were now moving. Why, you ask? That is a very good question. One the very nice lady in front of me also asked after I'd rear-ended her so rudely. But it did end well since there was no mark at all on her car and she let it slide. My little bumper had seen better days tho and I don't think my poor little Focus has really ever forgiven me.

4. Have Spare Keys To Your Apartment Or House Hidden OUTSIDE: Duh. Self-explanatory. This is an especially good idea when you're late for a first date and you're running out the door, slamming everything shut until it hits you immediately after closing said door, that your keys are still on the counter. Date will cancel, think you're completely unreliable, a bad liar, an airhead or all of the above and decide not to bother with you after that. Or maybe that just happens to me.

5. Do Not Wear Heels If You Have A Penchant For Clutziness: Now, despite how prone I am to falling down oh.. for no reason whatsoever and always in front of many people, I continue to do this. At 5' 3" height is something I covet and therefore do everything I can to increase my stature, even if only a few inches. It makes all the difference in my tiny world. Yet lately, my sandals have come pretty close to killing me.. multiple times. I sense they are doing it on purpose, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt.. for now, tho I'm keeping a very close eye on the buggers. The other day, for example, I had no less than three, THREE, incidents getting out of my office chair AND walking down the hall AND walking to my car where I almost twisted my ankle AND consequently, probably could've very well maimed or severely damaged some useful parts of my body that are not used to this new height achieved by these sexy, open-toed numbers. I think some classes and/or training could be required and my people are looking into this as we speak.

5a: Do Not Wear Heels When Headed To Big Events Such As A Concert Or Independence Day: We walked and walked and walked and STILL continued to walk cuz I foolishly thought when heading to Gasworks Park on the 4th of July that there couldn't possibly be as many people there as there actually were. We parked practically in another district due to the ocean of people, which I've never seen in real life before. OCEAN.. of PEOPLE. EVERYWHERE. It was also my first time at Gasworks for this particular celebration in the 10 years I've lived in Seattle - and it was crazy and crowded and actually, really, really amazing. Thank God I had an extra pair of sandals in the car more suited for all the walking around.

This was not the case, however, when I went to the Indigo Girls concert at the zoo last weekend and traipsed all thru the place from the south side to the north where the concert gates were located, cuz I didn't know there was another frickin entrance closer, with a blanket, bag o crap, and cooler filled to the brim with ice, which all = very heavy and awkward when walking in cute and new little summer shoes in 85 degree weather. It also = blisters and much 'ow.'

6. Know What You Want When Going To The Salon And Take Pictures With You: You can't go to a salon and hem and haw.. this is the worst thing you can possibly do next to asking your stylist, 'What do YOU think I should do with this mop?' This has been the bane of my existance since I had the 'brilliant' idea of getting the current hairstyle I've had now for years. It's high-maintenance and a complete crapshoot when trying to find someone who really knows how to cut it. I've been fairly lucky, but once in a while, like recently, I'm butchered, have to wait for a good month or two for it to grow out properly and have to find a new stylist. Pictures usually can insure more consistent results as does going back to the same person cuz they get used to working with your hair and its limitations (I have four cowlicks people.. I'm a frickin anomaly) - and it also doesn't matter how much they charge. Some of the best cuts I've received have been $25 or less.. and I've found myself crying in my bathroom after a highly-recommended place destroyed my locks and raided my wallet to boot. So there you go.

7. (For The Girls) Do Not Wear A Short Skirt AND Carry A Backpack At The Same Time: This is an oldie, but a goodie. It of course depends on the type of skirt and type of backpack you have, but at the time when I was in college (Wow.. this was a long time ago.. 15 years? Geez I'm old!) I wore skirts often (sort of like.. now) and carried a backpack at all times. Those history and theatre books weren't exactly light. But I had a favorite skirt.. a-line, polyester, and brightly and psychedelically printed that I paired with purple tights and my cowboy boots (What can I say? I was a theatre major. I was out there a little in my fashion sense, but I thought I was cool.).

One day, my friend and I were walking away from the Student Union in the late afternoon after most classes were over so there was only a mere spattering of witnesses... and we were about 100 feet away on our walk towards another building when I heard gasping from behind. My friend and I both turned around to see people looking and pointing back at us.. or rather, more specifically, at me.. and the fact my skirt had been caught by the suede bottom of my backpack and ridden up so that one side of my backside was completely exposed, still covered, tho recognizable, in undies and purple tights. Luckily, this was well before my discovery of the comfort of thong underwear as well, but the full undie coverage didn't prevent any overall embarrassment.. no, it did not. After that, my backpack was almost always carried over one shoulder even if it made me look a bit lopsided.

***************

I think that's a good enough list for now tho there are many other tokens I could impart such as Do Not Become Romantically Involved With Anyone Who May Be Part Owner of the Company With Whom You're Currently Employed Even If He Tells You His Current Relationship Is 'Open' and When Making Friends With Your Ex's New Girlfriend (cuz that can happen once in a while), Do Not EVER Bring Up Stories Of ANY Nature, But Especially Sexual, Involving You And Your Ex. Yes, those are classic tidbits, but will have to be saved for another time.

Gleen what you can from me, my lovelies, and enjoy the newly acquired admiration soon to be heaped upon you by your peers, friends, and family when you too pass on this knowledge (that you've printed out, resized and laminated in order to carry with you at all times) that I've shared with you today only because I know how impressionable special and bright you all are.

Do report back if you've a remarkable story about how you saved the day or prevented a major social catastrophe by using one of my tried and true methods listed above. But really, no thanks is necessary. There's nothing like the overwhelming feeling of joy I get when I know I've fulfilled my purpose of helping others in desperate times. That's all the thanks I need.. Mwah!

Won't You Be My Neighbor II

I've been walking around my neighborhood quite often these last few evenings and have been breathing it all in. July seems to have arrived very quickly tho the dregs of pre-spring were rather dreadful and bitter for a few specific reasons, I've found myself smackdab in the midst of a mostly lovely summer and I hardly recognized it'd arrived so soon.

I walk all over the Queen Anne hills and have yet to cement my route cuz I keep looking for challenging paths and another new street to discover. There are so many darling porches just aching for a swing or an old table by which to dine on homemade pancakes during a lazy Sunday morning, flowers scattered here and there and arranged with clever landscaping that strike me as I walk by - lilacs, something that smells similar to earl grey tea, roses, hydrangeas, lavendar, grass.. ahh.. I love the smell of freshly mowed grass.. nothing says summer is here as boldly in my opinion.

There are those out walking their little dogs, the random whoorish kitty rolling all over the sidewalk just dying for a rub on her belly, the family out having a mini barbeque on their front steps or the gentleman wearing the bolero hat and playing something Spanish sounding on his acoustic guitar. Toys scattered in fenced yards give away the children at play and their parents who care less about appearances and more about fun. Front doors are left wide open for the occasional breeze that wanders in meekly like a stranger looking for a bit of a handout and wanders away to test its luck next door and on down the street.

Joggers spurn the sidewalk and run down the middle of the quiet side streets, cyclers pant for dear life in their racing spandex - and I feel sorry for both sets. I'm walking fast, but I have time to absorb my surroundings and make mental notes to come back for longer visits for various reasons: there's a newly discovered taco joint that might have dinner-time potential, a girly gifty store with earrings and ribbons perfect for Saturday afternoon window shopping, a decadent bakery when it's treat time, a sexy salon, and a divey neighborhood bar that comes equipped complete with divey neighbors.. just for a start.

I think Queen Anne is my favorite district so far in which I've lived in Seattle - and having been here 10 years now, I've been around, baby. Ballard is a little far away and you can't walk anywhere, tho the downtown area has shaped up; Capital Hill has its edgy and bustling life bursting around it, but it can give you the creeps when someone semi-follows you back to your apartment (which happened once) and in the summer, when you have your window open for a bit of air during the night, you're more than likely going to be assaulted with quite the sexual noises orchestra from all the other open apartment complex windows; Madison Park has 2 ways to go back and forth and for one of the most affluent areas of the city, they sure spend a lot of the time driving around - it's just constant traffic; The top of Fremont had potential, but it was too close to 99, one of the main thoroughfares to and from downtown and not close enough to anything else worth moving my feet towards; North Seattle was near the mall, I-5 and 99, cheap rent and a nice walk to Greenlake, but there were no sidewalks and even tho I was always near a good sale at Nordstrom's, there wasn't anything original nearby that sparkled.

Queen Anne stands tall - literally one of the steepest hills in this city I believe - like the proud girl she is - residential and homey right in the middle of the city-ness where I could walk to any number of concerts and events at Key Arena, take a short elevator ride to the top of the Space Needle or simply just admire the view of Mt. Rainier and Puget Sound.

I love this city tho I've considered leaving it a time or two.. the weather can be depressing and wear on a soul that may need a bit more light therapy than Seattle can offer, but this is a truly beautiful summer season so far and I really can't complain. Come on over for a visit. I'll make the hummus if you'll man the barbeque, ok?

25 Peeps!

Whoo hoo! I'm on it! Yippee! Yahoo!

Um.. honestly, I don't know why I'm so friggin thrilled, I just am. It's like getting new shoes or a happy new skirt.. or like 80 new friends who like your blog! Just like THAT! Yay!!

So please please help keep me on the page (cuz it took forEVER to get on it) by clicking on my referral 25peeps.com and let's see how long I can stay there!

Thanks my lovelies! xoxo

**************** UPDATE ****************

7/4/06

Well THAT was a big 'ol waste of time! I've already been kicked OFF! Suppose I'll keep trying.. but thanks to y'all who helped!

Oh The Places We Will Go!

I'm in the eve of my Friday that's really Thursday and who doesn't love that?? Things are not winding down, but up. It's already been a busy week filled with some good friends, a lot of laughing and unfortunately, a bit of struggle with the day job and men - two things I wish would fall into place at some point, but continue to hang like a dangling carrot and I'm the eager little bunny who gives chase.

Yeah, um.. let me just say.. bunny's ass ain't in shape for that much chasing, ok?

Well let's start off with something positive. That hair that was SO blonde on my head? Got that fixed last week. It's a lovely red brown. RED BROWN! OHMYGOD! That's what I'm supposed to ask for??! *DING DING DING* Idiot. I've been thinking the color I want has no words.. I even resorted to 'You know.. like the color of bark dust.. that dark red, but not really red red? And not dark brown, you know?' Cuz um.. NO, they don't. Just for the record. How simple would it have been to say red brown?? I'll tell you.. pretty damn simple people.

Sometimes I have two brain cells.. and they're fighting.

Anyway, it's a much better color for my skin tone which = pretty girl and I like that. The pieces that the former butcher destroyed have been trimmed to grow out better which = still too short, but it's cute and my hope in cosmotologists around the globe has been restored. Mostly. Til next month, I'm sure.

Now are you just dying to hear about the dates? Well, you can safely not do that please cuz they weren't all that.

I will start and say I met a lovely young man - emphasis on 'young' as he is only 25. Genuine, very sweet, wants something longterm and would be serious.. if I was into him. I do like him.. not drawn like one should be to constitute 'into'.. but cool nonetheless and we'll be friends.

The other.. well, he was attractive, fun.. but there was no friggin connection. And not cuz I wasn't trying. I was like a moth flitting around a friggin lamppost and expecting it to flit back. Yeah.. no flitting and nothing real there.. tho he spent like 4 hours with me.. it was.. odd. I think he was just out to say he was dating and then four days later after my initial 'Thanks for the night, what's up' sort of email.. I got the 'You're great, but we're not a match' reply. Yeah, honey.. sorta got that (and uh yeah.. that's why I emailed.. duh). We were so far from being a match, fire hadn't even been invented yet. That's how so not a match we were. Just to be clear. In case you were still wondering.

I think one of my brain cells has won the fight and put the other in a coma.

But the end of the weekend came and after a significant amount of quality girl-time with the Pixie discussing our slips, foibles, and idiosyncracies regarding men, work, life in general, and all the hurdles we can't seem to get over, there might've been one cute bartender/singer who got my attention.. and my email by mentioning he'd relay his music updates and then has not been so forthcoming as easily as I thought. I think I confused him by directing the chat to Pixie and possibly laughing too much like an idiot at everything that he said. Yeah.. awesome.

But you know where the lack of brain cells came in handy? When it was time for Pixie and I to be entertained properly. Who needs brain cells to laugh? Exactly!

We went to see one of my dearest friends, Keith, in a very funny variety show at the Theatre Off Jackson benefitting this great organization called Clowns Without Borders and the two women who were joining up with this group next year to tour India with their other clowny-type friends. This included, but was not limited to, live acts with British accents where hilarity ensued, tap dance, masked people singing silly songs, funny storytelling, more hilarity sans accents, a raffle and a very exciting live auction of original paintings created during the show by this group of which I forget the name (argh!), but were frickin amazing! And then way more hilarity as the auctioning crescendoed for said art pieces to the point the bidders were actually removing their clothes! Oh it was worth the price of admission just for that! As our bidders kept warring and the price for the last painting increased, we saw a foot raised instead of a hand, then a backside was acknowledged, then a shirt removed, and then her shirt and an ohIdidn'twanttoseethat, and then he removed his friend's shirt and I forget what she did next and then he took off his PANTS and THEN .. so did SHE! And the ENTIRE audience was howling! Pixie and I thought we were going to cry, fall over AND pee our pants, which, to our delight, we kept on, thank you.

Ohhhh... dear.. and then we were exhausted, but smiling cuz you know.. it was a pretty great time. Seriously, the hanging-out-with-me calendar is filling up fast.. you people better get in line.

Well, I'm off for the rest of the long weekend. The married girls from my high school days, all their darling offspring - to which I'm the Best. Auntie. Ever - and I are spending most of the next few days catching up, eating our weight in good food, and remembering what it's like to have friends who've known you for literally 20 years (We'll make sure to toast to you Treena!). Topped with an Indigo Girls concert at the zoo, a coffee/thrifting date with Pixie and fireworks??? Who needs men?? Ok ok.. don't answer that.. we'll get back to that next week.

Happy 4th of July everyone! Hope you find your own 'fireworks' this weekend! Mwah!

The Summer Glow

Today feels like summer to me. It's arrived early for Seattle. We really only have two seasons.. winter and August.. with the official day of summer starting the 5th of July. Those aren't fireworks, they're a scare tactic to let the sun know if it doesn't start showing its face, well.. something big is going to happen. Yes indeedy.. we mean business.

The short skirts are out in droves, dusted off and awoken from their wintery, closeted sleep and oh how they shift back and forth on their owners in a flippy little dance daring anyone who stares to come just a bit closer..

This is the plan anyway.. the game of allure. Show a little skin, a few more freckles from lazing in the summer day, add a spry skirt and a sassy blouse or tank.. top it with a smile and a flirty glance.. and girl, you are golden.

The gym has seen much more of me as of late for this reason and it's paying off from what I can tell in how my clothes fit. I love that. I found the gym is easier to hit during the work day once I finally realized even a shorter workout is better than not going at all and surprisingly, everything is just lighter. The endorphins work a number on my spirits and every call, every co-worker, and every issue once I return, damp and glowy from my feats of strength with a few free weights and the agony of 43 thousand lunges, seems like such a breeze to handle. I'm calmer, quieter - which is saying a lot - I think clearer and I'm more productive. Overall, it doesn't suck. And I need this cuz things aren't going so well at the office.

I've written about my bad habit before and how it gets me into trouble. I'm certainly an assertive girl, but I can get pushy and aggressive very quickly without thinking. I say what's on my mind and sometimes without editing silently first - I'm learning on that one, but I feel it's my job to be somewhat of a bulldog at work, tho I have yet to recognize where the line is that borders Friendly, Happy, But Gets The Job Done and Hard To Deal With Bitch Who No One Will Work With .. and then when I cross it - even just a little cuz I think I'm right, which ultimately doesn't matter in the least - I still pull back too late and inevitably, the boss will pull me into his office and tell me to shut the door. Sigh.. nothing is worse than feeling like you're walking on glass all day long, that your incredible work ethic (yes, it is very good, thank you) is the only thing that has kept you your job and the fact that if they lost you, they'd be in a very sore spot. Not to mention, you'd be everyone's favorite IF you could find that button that controls your tone that rubs people the wrong way and TURN. IT. OFF. Um.. please? Someone? Anyone? Is this thing on?

But I'm trying to be more positive in general and as I said, the gym helps, the sunny brilliance of this Seattle summer is a lovely beginning, and overall, I'm healed from my winter romance - finally. I don't think of him nearly as much and when I do, it's no longer painful. We're both doing fine without the other and maybe one day we'll have figured out who is good for us and what we really want and how we can be friends (and Sparky - I hope your trip is amazing).

And with all that good energy I'm mustering, I can't say I would mind a bit more attention of that boy nature. I do have a date tonight and one tomorrow.. and had another earlier in the week. I'm not juggling really so don't jump to conclusions. These are all firsts and it's been rather sporadic when I find someone interesting who might even pursue me a little, tho usually, the persistent ones are so much younger.. it's endearing, of course, but Miss D must start learning from her mistakes one day and play with the older ones who hopefully, have better timing and a clearer understanding of that balance of planning for a future and living in the moment.

Well.. one can only hope, right?

And yet, since the dating plane has been more of a dusty desert recently, I might be having drinks with an adorable 25-year-old tonight....... eh.. so my plan of learning from my mistakes starts tomorrow. What's one more day?

Happy weekend my lovelies! Mwah!

Glitter+Sun+Crinolines = Solstice Baby

It has come and gone, the weekend of Solstice, tho June 21st, the longest day of the year, is just hours away and Seattle celebrated in the brightest way it could in the heart of Fremont.

Again, helloooo Blogger IT people.. it'd be nice to post some PICTURES please.. No?! Was that some snickering over there in Blogger land where some mean and green being is maniacally planning to take over the world denying one blogger at a time the ability to upload pictures of our lives??! I think so!

Fine. No cake for you.. I mean, until this is fixed.. um.. if it will get you to fix the issue faster.. then of course, cake will be right up.. well.. just as soon as I can upload pictures. Got it buster? *Sigh*

** Update ** Oh um.. thank you Blogger for fixing the picture issue. Cake will be on its way.. or should be.. or hey, why don't you just go pick one up and then send me the receipt? Yes. There's a good Blogger. Check's in the mail and all that.

Ahem... now where was I? Oh yes..

I direct your attention to this link titled appropriately, Fremont Solstice '06, or as I started calling us, The Crinoline Brigade. I'm sure you can see why.

*** Update AGAIN *** Stupid !@#$% Blogger.. as you can see.. no further pictures.. the top one was a fluke people. Please, come put me out of my misery. And do not, I repeat, DO NOT, send cake to those Blogger people who apparently do nothing all day but laugh at cute little bloggers like me and our futile picture-uploading efforts.. Hmph. Hate you right now Blogger.. yes I do!

Moving on..

The theme was camo and crinolines, which, let me just say, got us a whole mess of attention. And my new camo t-shirt, a bargain deal at only $6.99 and a child's medium at that, I might add, was actually quite fetching, I found. Seriously, the military might have something on fashion and this stretch fabric.. you know.. when you're trying to blend in with the foliage, might as well look as good as you feel is all I'm saying.

Spirits were high.. and only after a short time, also tipsy, but mostly the bright colors found complete strangers smiling with us and even one gay friendly boy demanded we twirl.. and you know what?! We did - to everyone's delight! Oh yes.. we brought joy to the masses that day and if you don't know the Fremont Solstice, there were masses to behold.. um.. en masse. Er.. whatever.

And then you know what? The sun came out, which is rare here in June people.. but it did! And there was lots of yay! And then it sort of became 85 zillion degrees very fast and we weren't moving.. or in shade. Nope - we were just sitting there.. waiting for the parade - to start.. sort of forever.. and then it finally did.. Oh! Whoo hoo! And stuff like that.. and it kept going and going and going.. and we sat.. for hours.. in sun.. directly.. with no sunscreen. Ow, my scalp. But hey, who noticed?

Did I mention the drinks started happening pretty early? There were water bottles of margaritas which I only sipped cuz really.. me + sun + drinking = not so pretty so I was the designated crinoline brigade driver of sorts. The majority of the other kids? Well.. yes, they were trashed before the parade was over.. but it was rather humorous and entertaining and there was much fluffing and dancing with the crinolines and strangers and such - you know.. general merriment (which you would SEE - right here - if Blogger corrected their breaky parts! Argh!).

And I believe afterwards, there were many many.. many more bartender's margaritas and very little food and possibly a beer garden and somewhere in there, Ms. Ironika glazed over like a Krispy Kreme (I told her this myself - which I thought was a particularly brilliant comment, not to mention, simile, thank you.) and both her man and I noticed about the same time. We thought better than to jar her suddenly cuz she seemed on the verge, and yet I was proud she managed herself, crinoline and bobbly headband and all, to the restaurant facilities to have her moment of .. um.. eradication, as it were.

Hey, she was smiling afterwards..

I think there was some walking.. and then some lying down on the grass.. and then another attempt at walking but just to a nearby patch of grass in which to lie (lay??) again - or possibly nap. So to be clear: Walking = 0, Grass lying = 2.

Those of us who could manage the walk to the beer garden to extract keys, only managed to extract our host entirely from said beer garden in fear we would lose his one and only house key - and you know, we probably would've.. so in retrospect, he actually made the right decision to accompany us - and then we met up with the rest of our jubilant, and also, very plastered, friends who'd rallied and found a semi-grounded state enough to stand and walk. I thought it was a good sign. And then off we went for further private purging and the much-needed post-purge nap.

Oh the girls were silly and how I so wished I had video of the whole raucous event, but you will just have to settle for the link of pictures to Flickr and then write mean and nasty and pleading letters to Blogger to FIX. THE. PICTURE. LINK. ALREADY. GOD!

I think Solstice was done up - and down - and probably sideways by our pretty platoon. I, for one, was never bored.. and the fancy crinoline I wore did wonders for my popularity amongst the public. It never hurts to have a few adorable male strangers fawn and compliment.. and request a twirl or two..