Zoom Zoom!

It's mine! It's all mine!!

With heated leather seats.. who's gonna have the warmest ass in town? I ask you.. who?!

Now.. who wants a ride?

All I Want For Christmas Is Sanity

Ok.. I ask you.. who hasn't been too busy to blog? Seriously, who?! Ok.. so Pixie and Treena and all the other damn over-blog-achievers, suuurre.. but you know, they have cars.. they didn't recently have theirs crushed by a TREE that should've stayed vertical, so they have more time. Or something. Maybe more dedication. I don't know. I have had too much fucking time on the phone with my friends at State Farm Insurance.. and Mr. Car Salesman Guy.. and Miss Rental Car Lady. That's what I've had. And when I've finished, I wanted to throw the phone against the wall. And not in a sexy way.

Things are coming together tho.. but hormone week is kicking into full swing and you know.. complicating matters on all levels.. understanding boys, doing math - ok, at normal hormone levels I can't do that anyway, but still - trying to get things done like.. oh.. buying a car, getting a loan properly, being nice. I'm managing, but ooh.. it's tricky sometimes. That nice part especially. Like.. when one of the State Farm people was trying to review my claim she asked me, "So.. was it your actual car that was hit by a tree?" And you know what my answer was, don't you... "Uh.. as opposed to my fake car? Yeah.. it was my actual car now can you please actually do something about it? Cuz that'd be great."

So then things finally got moving after almost a week of being told they were doing everything they could, which I'm sure was true, but was no less frustrating cuz hi.. still wasn't anything happening over here.. yeah.. me.. sorta got all complainy and firm (shocker) by Tuesday and told them if they didn't get an adjuster out that day that the next call they would get would be from my attorney (like I have one or something). And before an hour was up, I got the call. Car = totaled. Yeah, like that wasn't obvious. But I got a fair amount of money, picked that up today, and I'm just figuring out how to replace the car I lost - and NOT with another Ford so help me God. Mazda3.. here I come baby..

Til then, I'm off tomorrow in a stock Chevy rental to Oregon til after Christmas. Don't drink too much eggnog, y'all.. ok, if you do, just stay away from your drunk uncle.. Hope you all have a fabulous and safe holiday!

Hope Is Slow To Arrive, But It's On Its Way.. I Hear..

I have to admit, I think God hates Seattle.. well, lately.. and these poor people were hit worse than me.. or at least.. more thoroughly.. don't you think? Bigger trees anyway. But I'm a smaller person, I imagine.. so smaller tree.. or something like that. Whatever more suits a small, poorly-made Ford and the destruction of it.

I went by the house yesterday afternoon and had heard from my neighbors that the city light crews had started their work. Thank God, I thought.. and I was on my way there with Loren, who couldn't drive fast enough. I was so anxious and worried and thought for sure I would hear more bad news. But when I arrived, the guys were so very nice and the supervisor said we should have power today - which I will check later this afternoon if I don't hear from the neighbors first.

To my surprise - the tree had been removed from the car! I was so relieved. The nicey nice man of a supervisor guy walked me to my car personally over the power lines he assured me were off or dead or uh.. whatever the term is.. and I got my camera out and took more pictures. He even advised me to get their trucks in a few shots so I could verify it was a power line issue. Smart guy, right? Very.

Then he wanted me to move it.. and shockingly, it started - not that the tree hit the engine or anything, but you know, when your car is completely fucking destroyed, things like getting it to start are still surprising.. you know.. when the back windows are completely busted out and the back doors were hit so hard they won't even open.. things like that.

So Loren and I emptied out the car entirely after I moved it.. and that was hard. I don't know.. the car was cheap and starting to have issues.. but it was just sad to remove everything and throw it in plastic bags trying to make sure I didn't forget any little thing in the dash or console. I mean, the car is toast.. and tho she was kind of just a boring stand-by, saying goodbye to her was hard. She was the second car I'd bought and bargained for all by myself.. and I only had one more year of payments. I'd also just spent $300 fixing a wire that had broken just before Thanksgiving. Figures.

The insurance adjuster hasn't called yet at all. Today I will be hounding them. I was also offered the assistance of two lawyer friends, one who specializes in going after insurance companies just in case they try to screw me.. as undoubtedly they will. Everyone says I will get a new car.. I just don't think it'll be that easy. I'm sure I'll have to be pushy for the amount of money I'll finally receive.. and then shopping for something I can afford again - sigh.. not fun. I hate car salesman.. nothing is more tedious than trying to buy a car, in my opinion. Just cuz I detest liars.. and they don't know how to do anything else but lie. Til then, Loren has offered me his truck and another friend offered me his VW bug he doesn't use often.. and that is so incredibly generous of them both. So I have a way to get around to work and errands, but I'm still plagued with how I'm going to find a way down to Oregon to see my family for Christmas. The insurance company will only pay up to $25 a day towards renting a car and then only up to $600 max. OR they can cover 80% and up to $1000.. That is what they said. What I heard was 'Blah Blah Blah Blah'.. they might've well have been speaking a foreign language.. I don't understand the difference, but I hear that is their job - to confuse me and apparently, do as little for me as possible. You're in good hands my ass.

Now I just really feel like I need my mom. You know when you think so much has gone wrong that you revert to needing parental care? Yeah.. I've arrived at that point. Haven't felt that in ages, but Mom's been very sweet lately and I just need to hear that everything will be ok. I mean, yes it's just a car and I'm glad no one on my street was hurt and we're all very lucky.. but it's all getting to me a bit - all the complications that surround it. If I can be blunt, I have one nerve left and any alcohol ingested is simply coating it temporarily. So I think at the very least, I'll get a good Mom hug. She's never been overly sympathetic but she was understanding when I called her at 2am all stressed out and shocked to tell her the news. I know she's glad I'm safe and that has to = a good Mom hug I would think.

The other best thing is the support from my friends - some who are displaced from their homes as well and will probably not get power til early this week or even next I heard. We are all trying to be strong for each other and provide a good distraction. I know Loren has put up with my very testy attitude alone. I'm very grateful for the friends I have. I think I picked them pretty well.

Speaking of, I must get going.. Loren needs to get to the airport and then I have his truck for the week. Sorry this isn't so terribly entertaining, guys.. I'm not in my regular space - literally or figuratively - but I just wanted to get you all the latest. Hope you're all staying warm and thank you so much for all your messages of love and support!

When Murphy's Law Strikes, Better Stock Up On Wine

So last we left our heroine, Miss Devylish, she was headed for a good night's sleep despite the windy storm overhead. Tho she'd joked she might wake up in Oz or another dreamy land other than within her subconcious, she awoke to a different sight altogether- Oz had come to her, at 2am this morning, waking her as well as all the neighbors with a loud bang and in a much more twisted and disappointing way than she ever imagined.

This is her car.. er.. rather.. what's left of it:

A Quickie And A Good Blow

Get your attention? Good.. cuz I'm channeling Pixie for this one.. which hi - get your mind out of where it doesn't belong, thank you - basically just means it's short and to the point.. cuz I have no time at the moment to write.. and I WANT to... I DO! I LOVE you people! Well.. most of you.. but the rest of you understand I'm sure.. if you're reading this from jail.. I mean, no hard feelings, right?

Uh.. anyway..

I've been busy - I've been working out! Whoo hoo! That pretty much rocks.. and doing holiday type stuff, like tomorrow there will be a party with much drinking.. not that I will be doing a lot of that - mr. officer - noooo.. cuz my friend's house is a mansion, but wayyyyy out in Issaquah.. where there will be small-town roads with small-town speeds.. where one teeeeensy tiiiiiny drink will land you in the slammer! Ok, will land you with a very hefty ticket for no lighty lights on the back of your license plate, not that you can see that, but which is just an excuse to pull you over to see that your tabs are also EXPIRED.. and uh.. since you had a birthday last month, so is your DRIVER'S LICENSE! So.. NOW.. how much did you say you'd been drinking??!

Oh wait.. that was LAST year. *Ahem* Hey - in my defense, I'd forgotten my license expired on my birthday and I sorta work the same hours as the department of licensing.. ok??! Man. Give a girl a break! Wow was Ms. Officer pissed! $753 dollars worth. Don't worry.. I got it deferred in February and paid my $100 for promising never ever ever EVER.. to do that again.. for one year. At least. So I am just about golden..

Ok, where was I? Oh yeah.. being brief.. like Pixie.. which is um.. not happening. Like you're shocked..

I have another party on Saturday and recovering will be left for Sunday, possible tarot reading at some point with the Pixie and any other friend of mine who might be interested and can tolerate me reading her future off a pretty card and translating with a book that says this is what's going to happen for certain! Or maybe possibly. Well it could be next week.. or maybe never.. stuff like that. Oh c'mon.. it's fun!

Alright .. see now.. ugh.. now I should've just written a damn post with substance! A post of meaning! And um.. instead.. I think it's almost midnight and literally as I type this.. whoa.. our power went off and then on. Like DARK dark. Ooh.. it was SCARY! And then it was LIGHT! And it's actually more creepy when the lights come back on and you're just waiting here, like I am, and they're flickering.. once, ooh twice.. dammit.. a third time! Will it last?! Will Bling's alarm go off in the morning at 6:15am.. OR will it be blinking at 8am when she finally opens her sleepy but somehow rested eyes and has OMG 20 minutes to be at work?? Oh silly.. never fear.. there is always the alarm on the trusty cell phone. Ah technology.

And with that, I leave you.. completely in wonder at this nonsensical whimsy.. or just merely wondering how you could've wasted your time. Yes, I am at least good for that. Either way, I hope tonight's wind doesn't cause me to wake up in Oz tomorrow.. (tho that could be interesting) and I hope that your alarm works just fine.

Seriously.. Could There BE Too Many Links? Seriously? * Updated 12/7! *

Oh TIS the season.. is it not?! Oh.. it SO is. And in the name of said season, I've comprised a list of just a few things I think are pretty great for your shopping ease, and pleasure I might add.. that might just be things that maybe I want would be good for a few people on your list like me.

I've been looking around with this great idea of actually ordering every single Christmas present for friends and family and having it snazzily delivered right to my door - well, the door of my office - ok.. well, the entryway to my cubicle within my office and I would like to keep each and every site all to myself so you're still surprised when you get your gift, but tho most things are reasonably affordable, if I were to send you all a nice little something, seriously, it might make a more-than-serious dent to oh.. say.. living and maybe feeding Emma.. and she would seriously have an issue with that. And then she wouldn't like you.. and there would be hate mail.. and goodness that all has to be prevented, doesn't it.. So. Here I go sharing all these ideas with you and you may purchase away to all your dearheart's content! So get going!

I opened my Daily Candy this morning and found this cute little site called Wrapables.com with a wonder of things that would be perfect for pretty much everyone who likes cool stuff.. like this! Oh could I possibly love it more? Maybe, but I don't know how.. and tho it might not be so pretty, you could certainly try to wrap it up in some of these pretty type wrapping papers. How cute is the kitty one at the bottom left? Emma gives a couple of paws up. For the cold girl in your life, for the girl who might need a little extra glimmer, for the booky type girl or boy who has everything but snazzy bookends, or maybe the cute girl in need of a bit of shiny green round her neck.

And everyone needs a t-shirt, which is why I love so many of these and might buy a few for me and everyone I know..

And she was the reason I started blogging to begin with so it seems fitting she would of course have one of the cutest online stores ever ever and it's brand spankin' new so you should go there and buy many funny and adorable things.

I didn't find this site myself.. one of the Miss Doxie readers recommended it and I fell instantly in love with all the many, many creative little munchkiny items one might open up on Christmas/Solstice/Hannukah day.. (er.. well.. one of the 8 Hannukah days - oh crap, who am I kidding? I'm not Jewish, obviously..) like these for your chock-full-of-sass friend who may pack a looks-like-everyone-else's bag when she occasionally travels the globe and YOU could help her contribute to her differentyness! Yes! You could! Or one of these little numbers for the little lady in your life who's bringing the sexy back into the kitchen. *Update part* And for some others that might be a tad more frugal I found this and this at Chloe In Style, which are pretty dang cute! And even for Anthropologie, this and this were actually reasonable and stylish! Your diva in the kitchen will thank you!Ooh and THESE for this little butterfly girl I know - and you think I'm kidding.. but seriously.. she will love them! And I know it's silly, but this reminds me there is actually sun in some part of the world even if it's not here for like.. oh.. another zillion and a half months. Oh and more kitcheny stuff cuz aren't these just the cutest little salt and pepper people? And this or this would certainly make those long, boring afternoons at the office a little more Mission Impossible-y, wouldn't they? I think so!

And holy crap but The Spoon Sisters have like 83,003 things you could possibly put in a stocking or wrap up in some poorly wrapped little bit of cheap paper and no one would notice cuz LOOK, the cool thing inside! There are so many to choose from I can't even pick one out that I would like cuz it's all a bit of random love, isn't it?!

Now.. there's no holiday that goes by without giving your girlfriend a bit of pretty smelly lotion or bubbly bits for the bath and I really love the lotions from this company and the buttercream frosting smells oh-so-much like you're lathering on cake batter but uh.. feels way better than that. And the people at Hella Good obviously know women lean to sweets even for bathing in cuz these sound like a dream in a tub don't they? Ginger Ninja?? Ha! That would be me! I think I may rename my site to The Ginger Ninja.. ok. No. But still. Funny!

And I can't make a damn thing but noise, as we all know, and still I want to try the Sublime Stitching's little bit of creativeness all for myself. Cuz don't you need some cute tea towels with these, these, or these on them? You just might (The men are going.. uh.. wtf is a tea towel?)!

And I just have to say, if you haven't ordered some of Read's homemade chocolates, created by the people who bred our dear friend ammogirl, and bred her well in my opinion, ohmygod, you might actually have a head injury cuz they = the moving of your world. Seriously. The peanut butter fudge caramel wraps in milk chocolate - oh yes - might just be my favorite.. or was it the haystacks? Damn, better get both!

*Update part* For the voyeur/blog-to-book lover in your life, I found the Overheard In New York book and the PostSecret book, both reasonably priced on Amazon.com and oh-so intriguing! And if you have some smaller, yet creative and helpful humans in your life, I thought this Dr. Seuss cookbook was pretty frickin cute.

*Update continued* I also discovered some especially awesome things at Urban Outfitters and the sale page has some great little grabs like these, these, and these - that might even go well under a solstice crinoline for one special girl I can think of.. tho I love this, even if it's not exactly overly bargainy, but I feel a pounding heart just the same.

*Still on the update - yes, I can't believe I forgot this stuff* I completely forgot the music peeps, which I am one of so I don't know how I did that - probably cuz I have gotten so many new things from friends that I'm good for a while - HOWEVER, that totally leaves YOU out in the cold! How could I do that? Uh. Think almost 2am the other night.. yes, now you get it. ANYWAY my favorites and the ones I highly recommend for your friends (and maybe yourself, cuz hellooo.. you matter too!) are: the newest Snow Patrol, which I can't say enough good things about, a cute all-of-five-foot-three-force-to-be-reckoned-with, KT Tunstall, something a little different and just lovely sounds of Regina Spektor, or maybe a little electronic but still mellow and different and you may have heard her on the Garden State soundtrack, Imogen Heap, some required listening because she's just that fucking incredible, Fiona Apple, some singer/songwriter everyone-should-listen-to-him, John Mayer, or just completely indulgent cuz he's got a sexy groove, Justin Timberlake, the random and funky Ok Go, which, if you've seen their videos you KNOW how awesome they are, some just seriously groovy and happy-summery-dancey music I discovered when there was sun around here, Sergio Mendez, which is remixed samba with guest artists like the Black Eyed Peas, Erykah Badu, India Arie, and JT even, and completely different is this little British firecracker-of-explicit-lyrics rapper I saw on Letterman the other night and just couldn't help but dig her stuff, Lady Sovereign. Phew - needed a breath cuz there's still the cutester with the darling voice that I love and I'm sure they're overplaying her, but I love her just the same, Corrine Bailey Rae, the new Beck, which is pretty rad, this other sassy Brit that has quite the new kicky sound, Lily Allen, and actually, if you're looking for some holiday music that isn't the same old stuff you heard in the mall, I just got the new Sarah McLachlan, which I think is really charming.

*Update - yes, still going* I'm so copying another Doxie reader, but she linked to her gifty guide in the comments and among one of her very cool links was Mirror Me, which creates self-esteem fashion for both sexes.. If you click on their catalogue you'll see the short-sleeve baby t that I love, but I especially love the darling silver necklaces as well. Adorable and hey - there is nothing wrong with a little affirmation in the mirror every day.

*And this too* And ok.. yes, seriously, I'm tired.. but you people HAVE to see Elsewheres cuz there are just too many things like this chalkboard pendant if you want to spend a little money, but it's frickin sweet, isn't it? And I think this little bird necklace is quite the eye-catcher, no? She also linked to Toothpaste For Dinner, which apparently is a comic (?) but they make extremely funny t-shirts like this Panflute Flowchart that I think I almost spewed when I saw it and the Bad Poetry, which would be perfect for the loverboy in your life. And dammit, if she would just stop, but she can't, she had to add this t-shirt site too, which is super awesome and funny. All cheap man! Would you just look at me saving you money!!

Last, but not least, please consider something I was cornered into did a few years ago and actually, I'm really happy, in all seriousness, that I've been able to continue it. For a girl who can sometimes barely take care of herself and her cat, I'm pretty proud that I can also sponsor a child. I get pictures and the cutest little letters and drawings from this little 9-year-old boy I've never met but who mentions me in his prayers. It sounds strange, but it's really affordable (can I say that?) and tho I need another bill like a hole in the head, I wish I could sponsor another, but I just can't. But YOU might be able to! Please think about it when going over all the things to buy that honestly, you may not really need and consider this as a possible gift to yourself and maybe even humanity.

Oh.. it's late my little petals.. and I realize these ideas may be slighted to the fairer sex.. but then most of my friends are women, I'm a woman.. and sometimes women are hard to shop for and just look how much effort and time I'm saving you! Santa should really take note and make sure he drops off one of the male J. Crew models or even Orlando Bloom in my stocking for me (Jules? Put in a good word, won't you?). Yes, indeed. And these are just a few of my ideas, but if you have more, do send them my way. I'll be so ever intrigued!

Here's to hoping Santa brings you all you ask for (and more) this holiday season, my friends..

Red

What is it about Christmas time that makes people go all nutty? Is there a requirement that once you are over the age of 30 that you lose that sense of wonder?

I remember as a child joyfully singing infinite verses of Jingle Bells at the top of my lungs. When did I stop loving Christmas Carols? The Muzak version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer piped through invisible speakers in my office is not helping the cause.

I’m sitting in my cubicle, filing my crimson nails instead of filing the stacks of reports that I’ve been working on. My boss is locked in her office surfing the Net for that perfect holiday dress that will show just the right amount of cleavage yet is easily removable. I’m pretending I don’t know what she’s doing and she’s returning the favor.

It’s December 1. An entire week has passed since the official start to the holiday shopping season and I still haven’t set foot in a single store for that purpose. I just can’t bring myself to get into that spirit that causes usually sane people to spend obscene amounts of money on things that no one really needs.

Perhaps the funk I’m in has something to do with the fact that my boyfriend has decided that he wants to take a break for a while. Again.

Perhaps I’m realizing that this will be a permanent break this time. Perhaps I’m realizing that the odds are no longer in my favor of finding that “special someone” that the married people like to tell me about.

So long white flowing wedding gown. So long ruby bridesmaid dresses. So long bouquet of roses. I never really wanted you anyway.

If you buy that I have a desert property in Minnesota to sell you.

With a sigh I drop my nail file in the trash next to a Kit Kat wrapper. My fingers tangle in my blonde hair as I knit them behind my head. My chair creaks as I recline the office chair back as far as it will go without tipping over.

“Marriage.” The word slips from my lips without my knowledge. I envision myself in 20 years surrounded by cats and muttering to myself. The irony is lost on me.

“What?” calls Frank from the next cubicle.

“Nothing.” I feel my face flush. Great. As though he doesn’t already think I’m a few strokes short of a game.

Glancing at the clock above my desk I see that it is nearly quitting time. I will go home tonight and open a bottle of wine while the bathtub fills. I may even light a candle or two.

I can almost see the metal skimming across my wrist, the red river cascading into the water.
________________________________________

Heather is Mom to 2 children, M who is 4, and K who is 2. By the way, this piece is FICTION! She has not actually lost that Christmas spirit and has most of her shopping done already. (Ducking.) Heather has plenty of random thoughts and feels compelled to share them with strangers. Her daughter is amazed at the size of her Cool Zebras. Don’t forget to visit Miss Devylish there, keeping my place warm today.

This post is part of the December Blog Exchange. This month we're all writing pieces that are titled Red or Green. That was the only rule this month, so they could be fictional, poetry, whatever! You can find me at Heather's site today, and the full list of participants can be found by clicking here.

Baby It's Cold Outside

I tried to take pictures for you outside my cute home (noting to blur any addresses or telling specifics for all you friendly stalkers out there), but they didn't really come out so I found this charming blue snowman for you from some nice person's flickr account who also lives in this fair city.. because hi!! There is snow!

Yes we are lame! Yes we are big babies cuz this is A LOT of snow for us and the town, once again, is practically shutting down at probably barely an inch or two and at 31 degrees, which = BRRRRR!

And wouldn't you know it.. but just a few moments ago.. wait.. let me confirm.. YES! Our heater has broken! AWESOME! Ok.. to be fair, only the fan in the kitchen. It's still working in the living room.. but this is a fantastically brainy layout here I must tell you, with only a fan in the kitchen and one in the living room. God FORBID they put TWO in the living room or ANYTHING in the bathroom cuz you know this BASEMENT apartment is so small! It won't take anything for it to warm up.. except for you know.. HEAT! Why let them be WARM when this house was only built in 1905 apparently BEFORE insulation was ever invented!

*Ahem* A call has been placed to the landlord.. voicemail. Rad.

SO. Back to holiday cheer, however chilly, and a short recap of Thanksgiving where I must show you the game I killed, repeat - KILLED - if not for the interruption of actual food that had been long overdue.. say.. 2 hours and the alcohol was definitely getting to some of us more than others..

I tell you.. we are fucking WORDSMITHS people.. do you SEE the MASTERY of the three and four-letter words?! All over the fucking place! I mean.. we had 'meats' and 'meet'! Fucking AMAZING! Um, I should, however, point out that 'trod', which I had placed, had to be defined for my dear, dear opponents who had no idea what the word meant.. I'm not kidding - not even a little - and again with the word 'clef'. Not that I had to define 'folk' for them, no no. They had that one. I just had to indicate with wild arm and hand gestures, similar to those used in directing landing airplanes, the MASSIVE word play I'd just accomplished landing the F on a triple word score and the K on a double letter score.. both letters worth 4 original points each.. and achieving the aforementioned in previous post, a record-breaking (for me) 48-point word using ONLY THREE LETTERS YES INDEED WHAT A MIRACLE EVEN BABY JESUS WOULD CLAIM IT SO! But you know.. uh.. drunk people.. sort of didn't.. not really.. cuz we were rather in a sad state of starvation and tired of picking at faux appetizers.. thusly dinner was ravaged, RAVAGED I SAY, in just a matter of minutes. Oh it was a frightening site to behold! Like a pack of wild dogs we were..

And THEN........ food coma. Ahhhh...

I love Thanksgiving.

The rest of the weekend was spent tidying while the roommate was away, quality time with Ms. Emma, Feline Princess Over All, and even an official decorating of the tree - Bling style.

Oh.. like you didn't see that coming?? It's so me, which actually might be kind of sad, but seriously, I'm so tired of the needles and the paying of ZILLIONS of dollars for something I only get tangled up in while circling with lights that only sometimes work once every other year.. and blah! I'm done! This is my cute, little, shiny tree that I could hang the very mini ornaments I already had - yes those are mini disco balls, in case you were wondering - and it took all of TEN WHOLE MINUTES! It was fabulous! And it's so fucking cute! And no mess! AND it was only $2.50 at Tarshay (or, for the Americans - Target). Do I know how to bring sexy back or what?!

Now that the holiday spirit has certainly been kindled.. I must leave you for other entertainment. Heroes is on, the dvr is doing its duty and recording but I can hardly stand it for another second. Yes, fully addicted, I'll admit it.. I neeeeed it.. but I didn't forget you, my lovelies. Also, since you have been such dedicated fans, stay tuned for a little surprise at the end of this week.. it's nothing huge. No signature blue Tiffany box or anything, don't get carried away now, but something.. a little different. Til then.. mwah!

***** UPDATE *****

I just want y'all to know for the majority of today it has been 23 degrees. TWENTY THREE! This is NOT a misprint. It's nooo typo. That's 9 (NINE) degrees BELOW FREEZING! This is unheard of! I'm ready for the apocolypse! I mean it's 60 in Chicago! WTF is THAT about?! Has Hell frozen over and the property lines just weren't clear?! Up until just a little while ago when someone gave me the idea to just put on a big pot of boiling water for extra heat, I had my SCARF on! INSIDE! I'm just sayin.. it could get warmer ANYTIME! Like.. now. NOW would be great! Hellooo?? Is this thing on?!

Thanksgiving

Holidays in my memory involve lots of extended family, big dinners with kids' tables, tension with an argumentative father, uncles who fell asleep in front of the tv, and it hasn't really changed much other than now I am one of the adults who helps cook, serve, clean up, and sigh afterwards knowing it was a nice time.

This year, I couldn't make it. This year my car broke some very important wire in the coil in the engine or something or other but it made it go.. so when it broke, it only half went, and you know you can't get anywhere when your car only half wants to get there. That's bad. Very bad.

So even with a very trusted mechanic, it can't be finished until Monday night, the trains were booked, the rideshares were further south than I could get to and most were sketchy at best.. and Emma still didn't have anyone to check in on her on Friday.

After lots of tries.. I finally gave in to staying here, called Mom who sounded quite disappointed.. but I reminded her, as well as myself, that things could always be worse. And she agreed. I'm still sad I couldn't make it, but everything I have in my life spans a lot more than one family dinner.

Here's what I have to be thankful for:

* That I did have a lovely Thanksgiving with one of my very best friends, Loren, and his boyfriend and friends of theirs with a dinner we all helped cook, which included my very sassy cranberry sauce and his homemade apple pie that was simply orgasmic. There were two games of Scrabble tho the second was put aside for dinner - and no one really really acknowledged the 48-point word (FORTY-EIGHT POINTS PEOPLE) I made with FOUR letters just before that left them all in the dust anyway. It sucks to lose, tho I wasn't. But I had somewhere to be and people around whom I loved and who loved me. I felt very lucky.

* That the car will cost me a lot, but that I will be able to get by even with the pinch on my holiday budget. No shopping for me tomorrow, but seriously, am I sad about that? Hell no. I have a holiday budget and that's more than a lot of people have and I don't take that for granted for one second. It really wouldn't take much if circumstances changed for me to be that person holding a sign on the corner asking for spare change.

* For my family. I used to distance myself from them and I find this year, I've grown closer to my mother and that means the world to me. She's happier with her new husband and I'm happy that she's happy. I know that's all my dad wanted for her and it makes her a better mom. I've lost track how many times she's called me 'baby girl' this week. It really tickles me.

* For my friends who are my chosen family. They know who they are. They help me so much, they inspire me, advise me, influence me, challenge me, keep me sane and keep me happy, make me feel valued, needed, special, smart, beautiful.. make me think.. they are my rocks, my comfort, my support system, my treasures.

* For my cat, Emma, who always has unconditional love waiting for me. And really, isn't that what life is all about?

I hope you all feel just as blessed today. You certainly deserve it.

What Should've Been - What Should Be

I saw an amazing movie tonight that moved me to the point of tears - to the point I was crying so much I realized a movie hasn't caused me to cry like that in a really long time. I was so overwhelmed I didn't realize I was holding Pixie's hand until I'd been doing it for 15 minutes because the messages it conveyed were so powerful and you could see clearly what was also trying to be communicated in regards to where we are as a nation, as human beings with this inane war going on and embarrassing government behind it.. and that it's really so sad we haven't actually come so terribly far since then. So incredible I'm still thinking about it hours after we've walked out of the theatre and it makes me want to carry signs and stand up for the ones who can't stand up for themselves.. and just be a better person. And it made me realize just how little I knew about the past - but more importantly, that they stopped making politicians like that a long time ago.. ones the entire country could stand behind simply because they could be BELIEVED.

I think the reviews panned it. I don't care. The entire screening audience applauded when it was over. I doubt there were many dry eyes.

"Bobby is not a political story, though politics are certainly an undercurrent. It is not the story of Bobby Kennedy. Rather, it is the story of all of us."

Go. See. This. Movie. Now.

Ok.. well, as soon as it comes out for the rest of you who didn't get a super-sneak preview like me, thanks SO much to a little pixie.

I've Been Frogged!

A while back, our dear friend, Ammogirl, submitted her blog for critique by a site called Frog My Blog and she received a pretty decent little review. Of course, this is Treena we're talking about - a lovely little thing with whom I attended high school years (and years) ago - and tho afraid of moths and lettuce, yet not of foreign machine guns pointed in her direction, all this certainly makes for entertaining writing.

I think a few of us followed suit and submitted our own creative url worlds and tho it took a lot longer to get our evaluations, they've now been posted. You can read mine here.

'Ouch,' was my first reaction. I don't think the reviewer read more than the posts within this month and I don't think that's a fair critique of anyone's work, especially when said month encompasses a birthday, that which is the author's favorite day of the year EVER, but then the pirate site reviewed before mine with a name that doesn't seem to match their theme received 4 bugs. The common denominator seemed to be a shared love for 'totally heart'-ing the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Um.. ok..?

Yet, to be fair, I asked for this by submitting my work up for scrutiny. I'm sure I sound a bit defensive cuz this is my sacred space and I do write for myself, tho probably a bit for entertainment purposes. Who that entertains exactly is dependent upon the specific reader and his or her subjective opinion. I fully accept that not everyone will like what I have to say, what I'm writing about, or how long it takes me to say it. I'm certainly not the most read blogger and actually, I prefer having a smaller community over the masses. I've had enough blog stalkers, thank you.

I was also panned for remarking about the lack of comments at one point this month, but the hyper chihuahua/attention whore inside me sort of escaped due to birthday excitedness and that came out in that single, teeensy-tiny post the reviewer makes so much of.

So I'm just a two-bug blog. That's ok. I think I can be proud of that.

A Gift To Myself

I've been digesting a lot after the debaucherous week of birthday. Important life things are being pointed out or maybe I'm a lot more observant these days.. and maybe more reflective. Every birthday I take stock - and actually I do so around Thanksgiving and the new year as well, probably like the rest of you. But basically ALL of winter I'm reevaluating my purpose, if I have one, how can I be a better person/treat other people better now that I've reached __ age, etc.

It's weird to be 35 and feel about half that age.. and at the same time, wise.. well.. sometimes. It's true what they say that you don't want to go back to your 20's. At least I don't even tho I make stupid mistakes every day, I hurt people's feelings, I jump to conclusions, I'm irrational, I stress.. I did all that in my 20's too, just to a much bigger degree and believe it or not, with a lot more drama than now (yes, this is tame people, seriously..) and yet I can still solve problems, pay my bills, take care of the cat, do my job - well at that, think clearly, treat people with love and offer friendship and support. I'm human - and it shows.. and that's fine with me.

I still look for a sense of identity even if I have my own. I waiver on if that sense is sturdy enough sometimes, if I'll ever 'amount to something' that really matters or if what I've amounted to is all that matters right now - if this is all I'm meant to do and these are the people who are meant to come and go in my life of those who have and come and gone.

Something yet unseen has been pointing me in the direction of a new religion - well, certainly not new, but new to me.. as a way to find peace within myself, a way to grow, a way to change. It's like my guardian angel finds a way for people or media to grab my attention and wonder at the coincidence - and it's just Buddhism. Yes.. of all things.. Life is saying, 'Uh.. hey.. that Buddhism stuff..? Yeah, I think you should look into it. You know, it 'grounds' you. I think maybe you need some of that right now. Just a thought.' It sounds silly - and I know nothing about it other than to know that it's different from Catholicism, the religion I was raised in and the basics of Christianity, with which I don't agree. I've always thought there are other ways to worship and this is one of them - and not just a higher power, but discovering the true nature of reality, which I don't think I could even wrap my head around let alone really do.. but isn't it an interesting idea??

I have a friend who meditates when she can fit it in between taking care of her family and it energizes her and she sleeps better. I have another who has had everything go wrong during her change of countries and scenery and this is something that is settling life down for her, calming her and giving her a better sense of direction and a better sense of herself. I love the magic that seems to result from focus like that. It's powerful. And I want some. And I think I'm going to start making some time for it.

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Now.. when you sit around and wonder about your future and where you're going, you can't help but reflect on your past.. your beginnings.. you.. but as a wee babe. I've mentioned a few times on this site that I'm adopted. I was chosen. I was special. Someone took all the care necessary to make sure I was offered a good life even tho she couldn't provide that life to me herself. And I've put out some casual efforts in the WorldWideWebLand hoping that this lovely woman might one day come looking for me.. if she's computer literate.. if she likes email half as much as I do.. and might.. oh.. pop a little message over to me - something like.. 'Oh hey there.. well.. let's see.. I may have dropped you off in a small town in eastern Oregon oh.. about 35 years ago.. wanna catch up?' And I would respond with open arms and a big smile and look deep into the eyes of the woman who actually looks like me.. and with whom I have traits in common.. like.. genetically!

But it's not like I'm really trying. Just like the Buddhism.. I get hints from my angel or some other-worldly force reminding me I've stopped looking, even as casually as I had been, and I need to get back on it. So it came about, one of these reminders, thru a conversation with a work associate who recently adopted two foster children and I said how incredible that must be for her and how I was adopted and she got excited and almost giggly and she said she was adopted and it was a great, big adopted party going on for a bit (We throw really good ones.. trust me on this). And after I hung up the phone with her, I thought - here's another reminder. Do something about it. So I took a few minutes and searched around on the web for more sites where I might once again lay out the information I had about my bio mother and crossed my fingers/held my breath/made a wish that someone.. anyone.. would see it someday, hopefully soon, and know who the hell I was talking about AND, out of the kindness of their hearts, might let me know how to find her.

A few weeks passed and nothing happened..

I forgot about it.

I had my birthday and all was celebratory. I think there was some talk about my family and my history at dinner and that dear Pixie girl took it upon herself to actually research and offer some new possibilities for searching - things that seem so obvious with the basic facts I had but like I said, tho wise, I don't always put two and two together. She, however, is Smart. All. The. Time.. which is why I'm friends with her.. well not solely, but you get the idea. And yet, I still didn't exactly make the time to pursue the links she sent me.

Until Sunday when I received an email.

Not just any email.. this was an email from a very nice woman who found me due to one of those random WorldWideWebLand blurbs I put online just a few weeks ago.. blurbs I thought would bring me nothing more than spam and instead may have opened a door this time, this exact time, to find someone like her.. and it did.

She used to know my mother, this very nice-sounding lady. They were friends. Where there could've been uncertainty.. there wasn't when she said she'd 'googled' my bio mother's name and not far down on the page was a message from 'her birthchild of long ago'. She wasted no time in wondering if I'm that same child her friend may have had years before. No, she seemed to know for a fact I was exactly that child and tho my heart was pounding, I responded and hoped and prayed and held my breath that she was right and for no reason whatsoever, that this was the connection I'd waited for my whole life.

We have emailed a lot back and forth just in the last two days and I rambled my way thru novellas of questions and deep statements of how much finding my birth mother would mean to me.. and there's this sense of proving my worth if only this mystery woman would provide me any sliver of new information that could lead me to my birth mother's front door. And instantaneously, I can think of nothing else nor do I want anything more. It's amazing how opportunity finally does its knocking and you know with every bit of passion you have in your soul that you need to do whatever it takes at that very second to grab it and make the most of it as possible cuz it doesn't fall in your lap like that often. Clearly, not in mine anyway.

This new friend is kind and has already told me how much I look like 'her'.. which reduced me to tears instantly, how they had met while my mother was pursuing her masters in counseling - which gave me goosebumps since two friends this last year told me I should be a therapist - how she had lived in San Rafael and San Francisco and Eugene and these places are not far! No no! They are so very close and I think most people generally don't move terribly far from where they were born.. and I feel like I'm on the edge of something amazing and moving.. and just so frickin BIG!

I don't know what I'd do honestly, if I ever find her, but I finally feel like it's feasible.. like it's more than just possible. And one day, I hope to write in this space, that I've looked into eyes that are just like mine, upon a face that's freckled as mine is, and a smile that resembles my own and let her know just how grateful I am for her strength and how I hope I am more than just a little bit like her.

And then I'll say, 'So how about that Budda guy?'

The Aftermath

Could this birthday have been any better? Could this birthday have been oh... any more FUN?! I tell you people.. I think so, but I DON'T KNOW HOW! Cuz it was SO FUCKING GREAT! Really, it was.. ohdeargod yes..

We started out with a secret pick up that was kiboshed a little when Scott had to call me for directions cuz he didn't have my last address, but the one before that! I thought that part was particularly funny as Ms. Pix had tried to be all Super Spy and keep the 411 from getting to me, but it wasn't so tragic that I knew.. but funnier for me and Scott since we have this running joke that I'm always moving and/or finding another job or both and it's weird that at least the job has stayed the same anyway.. well.. you had to be there. It was funnier. Trust me.

Moving on.

A few of us met for some fabulous vegetarian fare and I believe at least one bottle of wine was involved and then some wandering over to our friend, Andrew's bar, Liberty, where more drinks were not needed but were had nonetheless! Cuz it was THAT kind of birthday as the Birthday Law did decree! And with the Birthday Drinking came the Birthday Present Giving AND the Birthday Present Opening! Yes, it did!

I think Ms. Pixie must be dying for us to be twins more often as she gave me this fabulous hat she probably knew I would fuss and fawn over anyway once she donned it herself so she couldn't very well not let me have one of my very own! She knows me pretty well that girl..

And then things just got carried away from there, I tell you.

There was another night of Spin The Bottle, this fabulous monthly theatre cabaret Keith and Mary took part in tho we have absolutely no pictures of them.. even tho they were the whole point we were going.. and it's just us being.. well.. lit.. if you really want me to be honest.

And there was a lot of making faces and the sticking out of tongues for some reason.. as that seems to be a motif in my pictures. What is the deal with the tongues? Oh, I have no clue but in our intoxicated state, we must think we're way sexy with all that going on. It's hot.





Oh the debauchery! Oh the scandal! It was awesome!

THEN came the photo scavenger hunt for no other reason than the funny pictures I wanted to have of friends of mine doing crazy and silly things for no other reason than cuz I put them on a list! How great is that?! I'll tell you.. SO GREAT!












And it rained. Buckets. All. Fucking. Day. So I want to give a ginormous shout out to Paul, Katie, Abby and John for finding the scavenger hunting spirit within themselves and braving the weather anyway. We had a blast despite the fact that we were soaking wet after about two hours. And I think someone said, you know.. maybe, if we stopped, we could all be ok with that. And we all went.. hm.. yes.. fascinating idea. Let's! So we gave ourselves extra points for giving up and treated oursevels to some Belgian frites on Capital Hill.

And as if that wasn't enough - cuz honestly, to fulfill the Law of Birthday, it wasn't - there may have been the actual Big Event that was the Birthday Party. And wouldn't you know.. I was at the top of my Smiley, the rise of my Goofy and Dorky Face.. and certainly, the crest of my Loud and Sassy, and even the peak of my Say Whatever Comes To Mind Immediately As I Think It Cuz I Think I'm THE Funniest Person EVER Of All The People Who Are Having A Birthday At This Very Minute Right Now.















And these are just a few, my darling readers.. I think people are still in process of sending me more.. it was a camera-ready night.. just ever so slightly. And oh.. what a night it was.

Thanks to everyone for your messages and to everyone who was there in person. It really meant the world to me to celebrate my 35th year with all of you. Mwah!

I Say.. It's My Birthday!

Wake up y'all! Are you all paying attention? Today is THE day. Oh yes it is. The day I was born into this world at 10:58pm in a small hospital in an even smaller hick town in eastern Oregon. Welcome to the world, little lamb, someone said.. and since then I've been trying to find my place in it. Thank God there aren't more of me. I think I'm loud enough.

I must say, the Birthday Eve did not start out as the day I would like to remember. The ex who I haven't spoken to in two months sent a drunk dial message via myspace at 1:45am that threw me into an early-morning tailspin. Add to that a co-worker snapping at me rather harshly for trying to help her twenty minutes after I arrived and I had to fight in order to keep myself together. I was starting to wonder why the day turned so sour and if I could manage to turn it around even tho I really didn't think I'd be able to do it. But it was so against the Birthday Law! What curse had possibly befallen me?! This was clearly wrong.

But then I got thru to the end of my work day and I went on a first date, which was a good one - yes it was - and had dinner at my favorite Mexican place in town, mmm.. and before that had cleared up things with my ex, which was positive and we grew or something like that in that call.. you know how those talks go.. and everything just felt so much lighter.. and..

TA DA! TODAY IS NOW GREAT! TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY! WHOO HOO! YIPPEE!

Phew.. just had to get that out..

And now there are things to be done! I'm visiting Fatima and bebe, my newest niece whom I've nicknamed Lulu cuz there's already too many Laurens and she'll understand when she's older and has to tolerate me, and I neeeeeeed to get in the shower cuz I'm late, as usual.. and then Pix and friends will whisk me away tonight somewhere undisclosed as of yet, as in surprise which hey, never sucks on the day of birth cuz that is also a part of the Law of Birthday. Yes it is!

So I'm off to enjoy my birthday. And the law says that you must too! No bad days are allowed by anyone! You hear me people?! Even tho it is completely gray and rainy, that is not bad! Even tho you had to get up and go to work when I clearly did not, that is not bad either. You are having a great day! I can tell these things.. and did I mention, by the way, how fabulous you look? Cuz you do! Oh yes.. trust me on this. YOU rock.. on this day, my birthday.. I do too, of course, but you, my friend, certainly are rockin' right along with me. Cuz I said so. And today is all mine!

Thank you for all the well wishes.. seriously, everyone! Hugs to all of you.. I'm off to enjoy the day! Mwah!

T-Minus 2 (TWO) Days And Counting

Ok people.. the birthday is almost here.. and where the hell have all my comments gone? Hm? I'm just saying.. in a very pushy way, yes I know.. that um.. helloo... where'd you all go? I MISS you! See? Changing tactics here.. stop the pushy - people don't like that.. probably why they aren't reading or at the very least, aren't commenting. I mean I know I shouldn't care about the commenty things.. but I do! You are important! You are special! YOU are the hottest blog readers around! Don't think I don't get official reports on this cuz I do! And they are so accurate and you people are so very fashionable! Heidi Klum will be calling you for tips!

Well, I will leave you to your thoughts and hopefully you will think of something fantastic to say and I will have lured all you Lurky McLurkysons out of your lurkiness cuz I am on my best behavior and you couldn't possibly stop yourself from writing something to me. We're cool like that. You and me. We're buds you know. And there is nothing that could possibly go wrong this week cuz it's the law during birthday week that only good things happen. I'm even daring NOT to knock on wood - that's how super strong this Law Of Birthdays is. In case you didn't know and I'm guessing you didn't cuz you haven't written anything.. Um. So. I'll just wait here. Ok? Patiently. Just over here. If you need me. For anything. At all. Yup.

We're All Mad Here

A few things to keep in mind:

Don't switch to the new beta blogger when you have another blog for your cat and you're both sharing the same gmail account, figuring.. you know.. how much email could she possibly get anyway? She's a cat! Not that that's the point when creating your beta blog but then suddenly, after hoping for the best when you hit the button that moves your creative online energy from the old to the new, your cat's picture and profile replace yours.. causing everyone but you uproarious type laughter and you endless frustration for 2 (TWO) hours while you fix it.. ahem..

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Halloween is a very pressure-filled holiday. The costume can really make or break your evening. Luckily for me, I was headed to an Alice In Wonderland themed party Friday night. What we didn't count on was heading to another party later where no one would really get our costumes and all the damn effort we put into them. Hmph.. We did have fun tho.. when there was alcohol.


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The time change of falling back an hour has only provided confusion.. not really an extra hour of anything good as here it is my usual almost-midnight-and-still-awake thing I've been doing for close to a year now. Crap. I have to go to bed.

Well, I trust you people can amuse yourselves while I figure out how to write something entertaining and possibly worth reading, but I leave you with a few pictures from the weekend of festivities and you can always check the rest out on Flickr. It's friendly! It's awake! Me = not so much.. so g'night!

Free Hugs

Lady Miss Marquise sent me a link today and I wanted to share it with all of you. I was driving home last night and did a lot of thinking and while the time passed, the sun faded into the most gorgeous sunset. The clouds were all whispy and the sky was on fire and I really tried to absorb the moment in all its glory and thank whatever power is out there for everything and everyone I've been blessed with. This video just brings that idea home. Check it out and watch the whole thing. And try not to smile.. I dare you.

Free Hugs

Let's Talk About Meme

I was tagged by an actual REAL writer, and by 'real' I mean, someone who actually gets paid to write. If you're in absolute shock that these people really do exist cuz you, like me, do most of your reading online, you should check her out cuz she's really and truly a real person and a real writer with BOOKS that have her name on them and everything! And knowing how to write in actual LIFE makes her blog one of the best I've ever read cuz you know.. everyone aspires to impress me. But I'm oh-so-flattered the woman comments on my little blog and tags me for anything. I'm never washing my blog again (oh.. that might sound wrong..)!

This could be a lot more information than you ever wanted to know about me, but as I said, I'm compelled to honor this celebrity request.

What have you done?

(X) Smoked a joint - Oh yes.. I've been in love with two Canadians. Getting stoned is a national pastime there. It actually goes great with a glass of wine and a lover.

(X) Done cocaine - I wish it didn't count, but yes, when I was very drunk and didn't want to be. It was offered to me at a party with the explanation that just a small amount would instantaneously 'sober' me up. It did, actually, tho I hated the idea of it completely.

(X) Been in love - The times that I count are four tho I've fallen a couple more than that.. easily. I care too much and too quickly, tho I don't think it any less genuine, just.. lacking in caution on my part.

(X) Had a threesome - Once, with a friend and the guy I was dating at the time - another Canuck (I sort of have a weakness for them) and it was all very organic and unplanned and.. interesting..

(X) Been dumped - Oh many many times.

(X) Shoplifted - Nail polish from the store where my mom worked when I was like 14 and should've known better. Man was I in trouble for that.

(X) Been fired - Oh yes tho a couple of times it was worded 'voluntary resignation'. I have sort of an attitude, if you don't know me well, that I've been working on quelling for the last few years.

(X) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back - All the time.

( ) Been arrested - Luckily, no. I'm actually smart enough to bury the attitude around police, shockingly.

(X) Made out with a stranger - Yes, usually a New Year's midnight happening.. not just.. cuz.

(X) Gone on a blind date - Yes and when it's happened, I remind my friends they're not allowed to attempt to set me up.

(X) Lied to a friend - Possibly, tho for their own good, small white ones for example, or for their surprise party.

( ) Had a crush on a teacher - no but probably a teacher's aide..

(X) Been to Europe - **Update** Apparently Norway DOES count. So I suck at geography. Tell me something I don't know.

(X) Seen someone die - My family and I were with my grandfather when he passed away. It was just a matter of time and we were all at my grandparents' home. My cousin was sitting with him and not that he was conscious, but he squeezed Lyle's hand to let us know he was going. Lyle called my gram over and she ran from another room, already starting to cry. We all surrounded the bed while Gram, sobbing, told him it was ok to go. I could see the color go out of his face, eyes already closed, and he was just gone. It was awful and beautiful at the same time, tho it crushed me to see my gram in such heart-wrenching pain. The experience is one I will never forget.

(X) Been to Canada - I go all the time - BC is awesome.

(X) Been to Mexico - Only a border town, Nosgales (sp?), where I bought a lovely Mexican blanket for $8 that I still have.

(X) Thrown up in a bar - Once in the bathroom where I drank one too many lemon drop shots.

(X) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show - So many times - what a silly and goofy thing.

( ) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire - do people do this?
( ) Been snowboarding - I don't like being cold.

(X) Met a celebrity - The only one I've officially met was Wesley Snipes as I shook his hand at his house party we ended up at where my ex's friend was supposed to dj - tho Wesley decided to do that himself and unfortunately, he wasn't great at it, but he was so high, I don't think it mattered.
I've waited on, tho never met per se, Helen Hunt and Matthew Broderick when they dated, also, Joe Cocker, who called me 'love', and shared an elevator with Lorenzo Lamaz, who is surprisingly very tall and so attractive I couldn't do anything but stutter. Too bad he can't act himself out of a paper bag.

(X) Met someone from the Internet in person - Yes, I date-via-internet all the time. Sadly.

( ) Been moshing at a concert - Sounds painful.
( ) Gone backstage at a concert - Sounds awkward.

(X) Laid outside in the grass and watched cloud shapes go by - Absolutely.

(X) Made a snow angel - Yes of course.

(X) Flown a kite - Lived near the beach. It's a requirement.

(X) Cheated while playing a game - I'm highly competitive.. especially when I'm losing.

(X) Been lonely - Of course.

(X) Fallen asleep at work - I think the last time my CEO walked by when I had my head down.. embarrassing.

(X) Fallen asleep at school - In college, during a retarded art class with a sub that liked to hear himself talk. Yawn.

( ) Used a fake ID - No one ever believes my age as it is.. why would I tempt fate?
( ) Been kicked out of a bar - Hard to believe, but no, even when I once got into it with an entire group of stupid-drunk people and had them kicked out, I was allowed to remain.

(X) Felt an earthquake - In Oregon and Washington - there's a large fault line all the way up the west coast. The biggest one was about 5 years or so ago and people still talk about it as it was felt from Oregon all the way up thru BC in Canada, tho no one was hurt.

(X) Touched a snake - Many outings in grade school to zoos and science centers, plus garter snakes were always found in our backyard.

( ) Read “War and Peace” - Not even on my list. Is that ignorant?

(X) Slept beneath the stars - I loved to camp as a kid, not sure what happened after that. I think I stopped enjoying getting dirty.

( ) Been robbed - Knocking on wood here.
( ) Won a contest - Neverevereverever. I have no luck. Ever. I never win jack. It sucks.

(X) Run a red light - Intentionally and accidentally.

( ) Been suspended from school - Again, surprisingly no.

(X) Had braces - For 4 1/2 years baby. My gram used to say that my teeth were so bucked that I could eat a corn cob thru a knothole. Now they are pretty!

(X) Felt like an outcast - I went to high school.

(X) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night - Kari and I used to do this to get over heartbreaks.. I can't do it now. My metabolism was much higher then.

(X) Had deja vu - All the time.

(X) Totaled a car - At least twice.

( ) Stolen a car - Wouldn't know the first thing about it.

(X) Hated the way you look - A given.

( ) Witnessed a crime

(X) Been to a strip club - oddly interesting.

(X) Been to the opposite side of the world - **Update** We'll say Norway counts here too. It's as opposite as I have been.

(X) Swam in the ocean - See 'flown a kite'. Lived at the beach.

(X) Felt like dying - The one time I had food poisoning. Agonizing torture.

(X) Cried yourself to sleep - See 'been dumped'.

(X) Sung karaoke - My favorite song to do is 'Chain Of Fools'.

( ) Paid for a meal with only coins

(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't - I'm sure.

(X) Made prank phone calls - When I was a kid.. definitely the fridge running joke.

(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue - At least once.

(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe - I think once.

(X) Had a bonfire on the beach - Last one was this summer with my family.

(X) Crashed a party

( ) Seen a tornado - Why do people live where these happen?
( ) Had a wish come true - See 'won a contest'.
( ) Gone bungee jumping
( ) Gone parasailing

(X) Screamed in public - At the office when Mom called to tell me Dad had died. It was the oddest reaction in retrospect. I really don't know why I did it.

( ) Told a complete stranger you loved them - Even with as emotional as I am, I doubt this.

(X) Had a one night stand - Yes, too many. I'm a big tart.

(X) Kissed a mirror - Probably as a girl. Silly.

(X) Had a dream that you married someone - Yes, years ago, but I do remember it.

(X) Gotten your fingers stuck together with super glue - Yup.

(X) Been a cheerleader - See the last post.

(X) Sat on a roof top - Many July 4th's and summer night parties.

(X) Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight - Have we met?

(X) Stayed up all night - I think the longest was a Halloween we stayed up til after noon the next day.. ahh, those were the days.

( ) Not taken a shower for three days - Ew is all I have to say here.
( ) Made contact with a ghost while playing a Ouija board - Someone was always moving it, never a spirit.
( ) Had more than 30 pairs of shoes at a time - I'm not that girl.
( ) Gone streaking - Or that girl.
( ) Been skinny dipping - Or that girl (not that there's anything wrong with those girls..).
( ) Been pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on

(X) Had sex in a public or semi-public place - Oh.. yes.

(X) Been kissed by a complete stranger - See 'kissed a stranger'

( ) Broken a bone - I can't believe with how klutzy I am, but no.

(X) Caught a butterfly - I hope I let it go after..

( ) Mooned/flashed someone
( ) Had someone moon/flash you

(X) Cheated on a test - I'm sure I have.

(X) Forgotten someone's name - All the time.

(X) Slept naked

(X) Gone white water rafting - Always scared the bejesus out of me.

(X) Seen the Grand Canyon - Yes on a hiking trip with my mom and my aunt and uncle during spring one year. A different picture every ten steps. Positively stunning.

Alright.. who's next?

Glory Days

Tonight I walked into the gym's locker room to find 8 or 9 thin and tightly athletically-clothed girls running thru their dance routine in front of the mirrors. Again.. this was the locker room.. where I was changing.. and they were about a foot away from me and my transformation from office sex kitten to gym bunny. I was in my zone.. and then.. not. And then I.. uh.. just didn't know what to do.. with the snapping and clapping going on so NEAR MY HEAD.. It honestly just threw me and I finished changing as quickly as I could to get out of there.

I moved onto my workout - and the girls took over about a quarter of the bikes and elliptical machines, chatting vigorously at the same time, of course, like the teenagers they seemed to be. Again I thought.. strange.. cuz this gym never has 18 hot, underage girls within it ALL at the same time. It just doesn't happen. Were there cheerleading try-outs for the University of Washington going on? Or did one of the high school dance squads just join the gym? I mean, when you're already in your not-so-flattering sweats and a jog bra that completely immobilizes the decent rack you have, thank you very much, insecurities heighten watching the flurry of their movement.. swarming in various areas, shirts tied in knots at the back and pulled up just under the sternum revealing tan and lean torsos with low sweats actually pulled halfway down the ass on one showing nothing scandalous but her black shorts underneath - yet she still maintained that 'cooler than thou' attitude.

WTF?! Seriously.. did I walk into the right gym??

And there were SO many of them. When they were done with their cardio, they moved onto other spaces to continue practicing their moves.. around the machines I would've very much liked to have used except.. well.. they were dancing around it. Seriously. Not kidding. It was baffling. I was baffled.

I kept wondering what sort of hell I'd been transported to.. not to mention what real crime had I committed to be in a hell where that sort of youthful perfection is not only flaunted in front of my face.. but one that came with some pretty damn good choreography to emphasize it. I mean these girls were tiiiiiny. These were the girls that shop for size 00.. cuz 0 is just a little too big. You know what I mean? And it just felt.. uncomfortable.

I was instantly brought back to the days of high school and not fitting in, being on the outskirts of popularity, knowing people who were popular and kind of being friends with them, shared the same honors classes, sometimes actually invited to the same parties, but not quite as smart, pretty, or rich as they were.. and never feeling like I was good enough or totally accepted.

And then I just felt old. I'm turning 35 in less than a month people.. holy crap! No wonder I'm not dating. I mean, have you SEEN some of the examples of men at 35 in this city? They LOOK old! And yes, thank you, I know I don't look 35, not that I'm sure what that should look like cuz all MY friends look as young as me I think.. but I can't find a guy that looks as young, is around my age, knows what the hell he wants AND is not afraid to go after it. And then I thought, these girls are exactly why men have mid-life crises.. and women have affairs with younger men.. or whatever. It's that feeling of loss - never being able to go back, never again to be labeled as 'young' or 'younger'. Instead of hearing how you shouldn't rush and much time you have to find that Mr. Right, you start hearing, 'Well isn't it about time you settled on someone?'

I'll admit it - I was jealous for a bit. I was coveting their slender figures, their perfectly non-sweaty hair and even skin tones, and maybe even their girly camaradarie. And then, I walked by the front desk on the way downstairs to grab my things and go when I asked the girl behind the counter about the newest arrivals to the gym. Apparently the owner had recently contracted with the Seattle SuperSonics - and their entire dance team.

Suddenly I felt better.. you know why? They are just semi-grown-up cheerleaders.. that's it. Nothing super special.. not like hot, dancey doctors or sexy break-dancing child welfare workers or anything.. not that cheerleaders aren't necessary.. for.. life, I guess.. or its many sporting events - so great for them. I'm sure they're all very nice girls and they do their jobs well, blahblahblah. But it made me feel better cuz I'd already been one of them however long ago high school was and I was so into it and I thought, rather good at it. It was my way to be a part of something.. even if after I quit I made fun of myself with a group of other former cheerleaders our senior year in a talent show skit we danced poorly to on purpose to 'Oh Mickey' and won 2nd place. Oh hell yeah.. I rocked the school spirt.. and that skirt.

But you know what was the best reason I had to feel good about being a cheerleader? Have you any idea what was so fucking great about that? And get ready cuz you should pay attention to this one.. I mean, it's really good:

I was always on top.
Seriously. That's it. And that fact alone kicks so much teensy Sonic dancer ass.

Uber Meme

I think maybe this month's posts will all be meme's, even tho no one can really tell me exactly what 'meme' means in a clear and concise manner, but I understand it conceptually.. sort of. Either way, this is one I thought of doing ages ago as this little songbird had already, but time just got away from me. And, as it is rather epic, I may have to rest after.. but let's get to it, shall we?

How many keys are on your key chain?
Without looking, I think five. One for the office, two for my apartment, one for the car (not that I ever use it cuz I have a snazzy little button-y thing that locks and unlocks everything), and one for my mom's house in Oregon. I also have a mini Eiffel Tower that Keith gave me and an 'a' for Angel that Ironika gave me as part of my gift for being in her wedding.

What curse word do you use the most?
First and foremost I use 'fuck' or some form or other of that cuz it's so expressive. Fuck you fucking fucker just really gets it all out there now doesn't it? It just feels good, tho there are times on this blog I like to be a little softer so there is frickin, friggin, freakin.. you know.. just maybe a small effort not to be so harsh.. but everyone knows what I really mean. Unless they're completely daft. And in second place is probably 'shiite muslim!' which may sound wrong to many many people.. but it keeps me from sounding crass and some people even find it funny.. those who have a sense of humor, that is.

Do you own an iPod?
Nope.. and probably never will. I see the convenience in it, but every friend who has one is on their second or third or tenth cuz apparently they break.. a lot. I don't understand how you can drop $200 - $300 on a cute little gadget and it just breaks after a year. Like.. helloooo.. you Apple people should really get that shit together.. you know? I'm just saying..

What time is your alarm clock set for?
It's set for 6:10am, but since the clock is set 10 minutes fast, I guess that really means 6am. And then I hit snooze until it says 6:50 or 7am, cuz I always think I have more time than I do and I'm almost always five minutes late to work, which drives my boss insane, but I almost always stay late so he knows this is really a moot point, which brings no end to the enjoyment for me.

Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
When I'm feeling overly extroverted and possibly smashingly hot beyond belief then I'd rather be in the picture. But there are times the situation is not about me, shocking I know.. but I do recognize those times, believe it or not, and feel my talents are far better used behind the camera for an expert shot. See the wedding photos of Ironika or the oh-so-naked ones of Pixie's birthday stripper in Flickr if you don't believe me.

What was the last movie you watched?
Little Miss Sunshine, which was the second time I'd seen it and it was still fucking hilarious and probably the best movie I'd seen in a long time. And my mom and her husband loved it, which was a bonus cuz we didn't have to sit thru one of those completely inane movies she tends to like (sorry, but it's true!) and which I completely detest so, hey, bonus for everyone!

Do any of your friends have children?
Yes, many.. at least three to be exact and all the children are considered my nieces and nephews cuz that is our logic as my friends are my family and those children really deserve every bit of Angel love that I can bestow on them. They are special after all.. and who will take them for their first piercing and/or tattoo if they don't have an auntie Angel (Kari is wincing at this very moment at the thought of this.. what, like your daughter isn't going to be a stripper already? C'mon.. we both know she will.. and hey, a navel piercing will bring her extra tips!)?!

If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would buy?
Wow, that's tough.. I'd probably pay off my mom's house for her since she's spoiled me for oh, my whole life..

Has anyone ever called you lazy?
Actually, only my mom when she calls at like 8:30am on a Saturday when I'm SLEEPING after working HARD ALL WEEK. Hm.. I may have to rethink that lottery answer now that I'm thinking about it..

Do you ever take medication to fall asleep faster?
Hell no.. I'm exhausted plenty. I don't really have a difficult time falling asleep ever. Once I'm tired, it's easy.

What cd is currently in your cd player?
Yes you can all make fun of me.. me without my snazzy little iPod or whatever.. but the cd last in the car was probably the new John Mayer, Continuum, that I'm loving so very much.

Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?
I can't really drink milk per se anymore.. tho I used to by the gallon. Now the thought just sort of gags me. But I do put cream in my coffee or non-fat milk if I go out for coffee in the mocha I usually order. When I was a kid, yes chocolate milk was a special treat. Gram used to make it for me all the time. Ahh memories.

Has anyone told you a secret this week?
The receptionist at work kind of did.. but since it was just at my cubicle and my boss overheard most of it and she didn't whisper really or anything, I'm not sure how secret-y it really was.. but hey, she didn't tell everyone and she did tell me not to tell anyone I heard it from her. Unfortunately for her, she is new and doesn't realize who she's talking to..

When was the last time someone hit on you?
Probably last night when I logged onto myspace at 11pm - big mistake. Before I knew it, I had 12 messages! Hellooo.. what are you boys doing home on a Saturday night instead of being out and about and hitting on drunk girls that are much less sassy than me? I think that would work better for you next time.. just a thought.

What did you have for dinner?
Oh it was fabulous actually. My friends Loren and Fatima gathered at Fatima's house to visit with her and fawn all over her almost-three-month-old baby, my newest niece, and we dined on chanterelle stuffed squashes and crab and shrimp stuffed portabella mushrooms - except Loren forgot I don't eat shrimp and the mushrooms were a bit too fishy for me. It was ok cuz there was wine and hummus and pita beforehand and afterwards, molten chocolate cake that didn't suck at all. No no.. it did not.

Do you wear hoodies often?
I do when it sprinkles outside, but unfortunately, the one I usually wear is still at Ironika's house.. left in her car after the rehearsal for her wedding and she keeps forgetting to get it back to me.. or maybe I do. Who's responsibility is it, I wonder.. ? I mean, really..

Can you whistle?
Yes, but not fabulously and only well when I'm calling a dog. My gram is amazing tho! There's even a vibrato in it if she wants. It's boggling how well she can do it. Me tho, just for dogs. How lame is that?

Have you ever participated in a protest?
I think I have.. at some point.. I think in college there was some kind of 'sit-in' for a just cause of some form.. but I just can't remember so I'm not really sure we really got anything done or it made a big dent in the society, but I think I felt pretty good about it at the time. So.. yes. Certainly.

Who was the last person to call you?
My friend, Abby, calling me to meet for brunch and asking me to give her a few extra minutes to start getting ready.. which I have done.. by well too many minutes cuz I was doing this silly meme thing and can't stop.. but I have to get in the shower now cuz honestly, I'm the one who's going to take forever! Back later!

What is your favorite ride at an amusement park?
Rollercoasters most definitely. I always try to sit in the front or the back and I love the feeling they make in your tummy as you go down the first steep decline. They give me that amazing kid-like rush and I feel like I'm gleefully seven-years-old all over again.

Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
I choose not to think about things like that cuz if they do, I probably did something to annoy them that I wasn't aware of or I was and said something snotty, which afterwards probably didn't make me very proud of myself. But sometimes, if friends have, they tell me and they say nice things. I rather like that when that happens.

What area code are you in right now?
206 - where the hip kids live.. aw yeah. ** Zipcode now removed - apparently, needed a rest while doing the meme.. good God! **

Did you watch cartoons as a child?
My parents had no qualms whatsoever of sticking me in front of the tv, tho later, I stopped being able to hear anything anyone was saying to me if I was watching it. That annoyed them. But yes, absolutely - Wonder Twins, Super friends, black and white Popeye's.. I'd be up at 6am and watch until boring and non-animated tv shows came on and my eyes were all bulgy from sitting too close.

How big is your local mall?
Well, there are quite a few of them around Seattle. They're all relatively the same, gigantic, over-sized, appease-the-masses sort of commercial type places. Annoying at the holidays but sometimes a necessary evil when shopping.

How many siblings do you have?
One younger brother.

Are you shy around the opposite sex?
It really depends on my mood. Sometimes I'm extremely sassy and extroverted and I don't feel like I have anything to lose and other times I'm just not feeling so confident and I get a little sheepish and shy. It's hit or miss with me. But I have lots of male friends and if I know them, no I'm not shy at all. In fact, they'd probably like me to be a lot less direct than I am or at least to shut up once in a while.

What is your biggest regret?
That I didn't try harder to stay in Norway when I was on foreign exchange and I got into trouble for doing a couple of really non-trouble like things and they decided to send me home after 2 1/2 months instead of letting me stay the full 10. I had a few friends whose families would've taken me in, including my history teacher at the time and I should've been a lot more like I am now and fought my ass off to stay since my family had paid for it, after all. I'm really kicking myself now that I accepted my fate instead of trying harder to change it.

When was the last time you laughed so hard your sides hurt?
I wish I could remember..

What movie do you know every line to?
The Breakfast Club.. I don't know how that happened, but I can recite every line all the way thru.

Do you own any band t-shirts?
Yes, Snow Patrol, Sarah McLaughlan, and Foo Fighters.

When was your last plane ride?
Two months ago in August when I went to visit my friend Scott in San Francisco.

How many chairs are at your dining room table?
Four, the standard.. but only two are safe to sit in. The other two's screws have fallen out. This is the state I live in.. where the chairs can't even keep it together. Sad really.

Do you read for fun?
I read for many reasons.. for information, cuz I can, and yes, I'm sure for fun. It's fun to read after all - or be able to I suppose. I do have the mad reading skills. I'm fantastically talented.

Can you speak any languages other than English?
I can say 'no' in just about every language there is.. I know, it's amazing. And actually, I can speak a little Spanish, Norwegian and French, tho not at the same time. That would just confuse everyone.

Do you do your own dishes?
Since it's so last year to have a maid or a dishwasher, yes, I do.. by hand even. I find it rather therapeutic actually.

What color is your bedroom painted?
Where there are things that needed painted, it's white.. where there are walls, it's whatever color the drywall is. I figured out not only is it greyish-white, it's not painted.. it's just the color of the drywall. Cheap-ass landlord.

Have you ever cried in public?
Usually when someone was breaking up with me or when I was in a massive grieving period and overwhelmed by said break-ups or the many deaths and breakups I went thru when I was 28. Or the last time was at Ironika's wedding and was a much happier reason for tears.

Do you have a desktop computer or laptop?
I have a lovely new MacBook I bought in August. Completely and utterly addicted to it. It's fucking gorgeous.

Which do you make, wishes or plans?
I make both cuz inherently, I'm a planner, but we all have dreams and I wish for many things.. all the time. Sometimes those two things even intersect.

Are you always trying to learn new things?
Sigh.. yes.. I'm constantly trying to figure out life, how to be a better person, friend, lover, daughter, sister.. I'm in a constant state of growth and it's extremely frustrating and terribly rewarding at the same time.

Do you shower on a daily basis?
Uh.. yes. Are there people out there who don't? I mean, by choice or when they aren't camping?? This question confuses me.

Are you curently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
I'd like one more tattoo - but actually it's going to be one that works on the kanji design I currently have on my left shoulder and just develops on that idea a bit more. Someone is even designing it and I'm oh-so excited!

Do you believe that the guy should pay on the first date?
You know.. I think that the person who asked the other out, be it the guy or the girl, should pay. But if you go to another place after.. it should at least be dutch or the person who hasn't yet paid for jack should pay.

Can you skip rocks?
I'm not very good at it.. but once in a while, I'll find the perfect rock and get it just right. But I usually never get more than five or six times.

Have you ever been to Jamaica?
Nope.

What do you snack on at the movie theatres?
I never get popcorn unless I'm with someone who likes it and any other time, it's usually Junior Mints, Peanut M&M's, or sometimes a warm pretzel.

Who was your favorite teacher?
I've had a lot of good ones. Fourth grade was Mr. Grant who taught us how to do stop-motion animation and sixth grade was Mr. Young who had diabetes and showed us how he tested his blood. They were both very creative. In college, there was this hilarious anthropology teacher who was really goofy and would act out the differences between the various types of monkeys as well as explained the Far Side comic strip so that we really got the joke.

Have you ever dated someone out of your race?
Well, other than the guesses that my birth mother was 'of Spanish descent' I don't really know what 'race' I am exactly and I assume I'm some sort of mixed breed. I've dated an Iranian, a few African-Americans, at least two Italians, a Mexican, and I'm sure many others who are as mixed up as I am.. My dating world is a frickin melting pot and that's the way I like it.

What is the weather like?
It's fall in Seattle.. sunny and chilly today, but it was lovely. Doesn't mean I don't have the heat on tho cuz oh yes, I do.

Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
It's not something that would keep me from dating anyone - if we click, we click. I like tattoos tho and have dated guys who've had quite a few before.

What was your favorite class in high school?
Probably a toss up between choir and French. Both easy A's for me.

Do you enjoy traveling via airplanes?
No. I get headaches from the fumes before they take off and I always feel ill from the pressure of take off and such. I hate dealing with security, I hate carrying all my stupid bags. Nothing makes me more tired than flying. The whole thing is just exhausting and I just want to get wherever I'm going and be done with it.

What personality trait is a must have in your preferred gender?
I assume you mean for dating - so I would say a sense of humor cuz if you have that, then you're also most likely intelligent and you understand what's funny and what isn't.

Have you ever been attracted to someone physically unattractive?
Hm.. maybe? I mean, if I'm attracted to them, there's something that draws me to them and for me the physical has to be a part of it - so whether they're celebrity hot or not, there's usually something there that pulls me in.

When was the last time you slept on the floor?
Probably last year when I went to San Francisco to see my friend Scott and the air mattress had a hole in it. After the third time of refilling it in the middle of the night, I just gave up and stopped caring.

What is your favorite alcoholic drink?
I have four: gin and tonic, cosmopolitan, amaretto sour and a lovely glass of red wine.

Does your closest Starbucks have a drive thru?
This is the home of Starbucks honey.. it's hard to tell which one is the closest to be honest.. but after some thinking, no the closest two don't. The one after that does tho.

Do you like your living arrangement?
If I have to live with a roommate, then yes. Kyle is pretty great and we balance each other out well. I'd rather get on with my life tho and find that partner who'll tolerate me and the cat and all we come with and live like that together.. happy and functional and all that forever stuff.

How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
To function? Not much.. I can function on 4-5. But I don't like to. That's not fun Angel. That's delirious Angel by 10am. But normally I get about 6-7 hours and tho I'm still kind of tired, it works. I always want more.

Do you eat breakfast daily?
Yes, if I don't I'm not very productive and I find I'm so much healthier and alert when I do. Plus, hey.. food is good! Eating rocks.

What was the last thing to scare you?
When one of my best friend's husbands was diagnosed with a tumor on his stomach and had to undergo a very invasive surgery to address it. I'm glad for all of them that he's recovering well.

Are your days full and fast-paced?
Yes, most often.. except on the weekends when they're my days and I do everything I can to drag them out and move as slowly as I want.

Did you ever get in trouble for talking in class?
Oh my God.. have we met? I mean.. do you know me at all? Cuz if not, let me introduce myself.. I'm Angel and I'm a talker.. so yes, absolutely. It was like a given.

What is your favorite fruit?
Raspberries. They're pretty sassy. We go well together.

Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages?
I do sometimes and I look at ingredients as well like sodium. Gotta watch that stuff.

How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
A record 35. Can you believe it?! And you know what people? It's coming up.. Nov 2nd.. so get your birthday celebrating shoes on cuz it's going to be a doozy.

Are you picky about spelling and grammar?
I am.. I scan everything I write for those mistakes from typing too fast and have to correct them. Ironika doesn't capitalize everything she writes for an aesthetic quality and that I think is kind of cute.. but I can't deal with spelling errors in other people's emails and writings. Bugs.

Do you believe in life on other planets?
Somewhere, I'm sure. To think we're it is really damn arrogant and wow.. kind of sad cuz if this is it, we're not all that impressive.

Have you ever been to Six Flags?
I've been to Magic Mountain and Knott's Berry Farm, which I think is also one of them. Rollercoasters my friend.. LOTS of them!

Who was the last person to piss you off?
Probably a couple of people who went to see Snow Patrol with us cuz one sort of fell on me and the other wouldn't stop talking during EVERY song. Why, you ask? Well, there was drinking involved and a discussion of standing on the seats even tho we were in the FOURTH ROW.. and much apologizing and I just kept saying, 'Fine, just be quiet,' and then there was falling off the seat someone was standing on and much eye rolling on my part and plenty of annoyance. It's rather funny now tho.. but at the time, yeah, not so much.

What was the last thing you ate?
Brunch with Abby - veggie eggs benedict and hashbrowns.

Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex?
If I pick one, that's like saying I don't get along with the other half of the population, which is just silly. I get along with each differently. I relate better with women, but sometimes, I see why we drive men positively batty.

What did you dress up as for your first Halloween?
I really don't remember back that far, but what I do remember is a princess of some sort.. I think Cinderella actually.

How did your parents pick your name?
I was Dad's 'little angel' and that's what he wanted to call me. Mom wanted to name me Babette. Yes, that's right. It gets better.. Babette Marie. I thank God every day that Dad won that little battle.

Do you like mustard?
Mmm.. of course!

What do you tell yourself when times get hard?
That I've been thru worse before, that I'm a strong person, that I will make it thru today and then tomorrow and the day after that.. and that I have good friends upon whom I can lean. And I tell myself if it was easy, I wouldn't learn anything.

Would you ever skydive?
Um.. I don't know.. it might just be too overwhelming for me to do that. I've heard amazing things about it, but not sure if that will ever be something I'll accomplish.

Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back?
I start on my side, then move to my back. When it's hot out, I often sleep on my tummy.

What do you think of Angelina Jolie?
I'm sure she's a very nice woman.. she's extremely beautiful and seems like a very generous and driven person.

Do you enjoy giving hugs?
I do.. I'm a huggy sort of person. I give very good hugs in fact. I'm very touchy-feely and not everyone digs that, but I can usually get someone to hug me if I wanted.

Would you consider yourself to be fashionable?
Sometimes.. but I'm not all that creative about it. I wish I was a bit more daring.

Do you own a digital camera?
Yup! One of the best things I bought myself ever.. 4.1 megapixels of sweet sweet enjoyment!

If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?
I'd be flattered, but explain that's just not how I felt about them.. nicely of course.

What celebrities have you been compared to?
I used to get Winona Ryder, the woman who played Anaiis Nin in Henry & June, Maria Bartiromo from CNN (she's super smart and sexy to boot), and the girl who played Chloe in Smallville on tv. I just think it was cuz we had the same hair.. but we do have similar noses.

Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but never do?
Yes.. to no end. Hate that shit.

What are you allergic to?
Nothing that I know of.. but as I've aged, I've noticed the corner of my eyes can itch or water and some things make my arms itch, but I haven't figured out what it is yet.

Are you a jealous person?
I can be.. but that just means I'm in the wrong situation and not putting the right perspective on things. I try not to be that way.

What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?
It has its place and I've certainly thought it was ok at the time. It has to work for both people involved tho.

Do you ever feel guilty after eating meat?
Not really. When I see animals that are used for that purpose I feel a little twinge. I do try to be conscious about where I get it from and at least I recognize what I'm eating used to be a living thing. More and more I try to eat more vegetarian anyway and if I had to live that way forever, I'd be fine with it.

If you were born the opposite sex, what would your name have been?
I'm going to go with my younger brother's name, Todd, since he's the only boy my parents had. It's not bad.. but I like mine better.